The punch line?

笑點是？

"On the other hand, I don't have to get up at four

「另一方面，我不用每天凌晨四點起床

every single morning to milk my Labrador."

替我的拉布拉多餵奶」

This is a recent cover of New York Magazine.

這是紐約雜誌最近一期封面

Best hospitals where doctors say they would go for cancer treatment,

醫生都會去的最佳醫院，提供癌症治療、

births, strokes, heart disease, hip replacements, 4 a.m. emergencies.

婦產、中風、心臟病、髖關節置換、凌晨四點的急救

And this is a song medley I put together --

這是一首我自己接的歌

(Music)

(音樂)

Did you ever notice that four in the morning has become

有沒有發現凌晨四點已經

some sort of meme or shorthand?

變成一種代稱了？

It means something like you are awake at the worst possible hour.

它表示，你在世上最糟糕的時間還醒著

(Laughter)

(笑聲)

A time for inconveniences, mishaps, yearnings.

不方便、悲劇、打哈欠的時間

A time for plotting to whack the chief of police,

像是《教父》裡的經典鏡頭

like in this classic scene from "The Godfather."

這密謀攻擊警察局長的時間

Coppola's script describes these guys as "exhausted in shirt sleeves.

柯波拉的劇本對這些人的描述是：「穿著短袖、精疲力盡」

It is four in the morning."

「已經凌晨四點了」

(Laughter).

(笑聲)

A time for even grimmer stuff than that,

還有更糟的

like autopsies and embalmings in Isabel Allende's

像是伊莎貝爾．阿言德小說《精靈之屋》裡

"The House of the Spirits."

"解剖防腐的時間"

After the breathtaking green-haired Rosa is murdered,

就在美麗的綠髮少女Rosa被害後,

the doctors preserve her with unguents and morticians' paste.

醫生們用油膏、防腐劑來保存屍體.

They worked until four o'clock

他們工作到凌晨四點

A time for even grimmer stuff than that,

更糟的還沒完 ,

like in last April's New Yorker magazine,

去年四月的《紐約客》雜誌裡

this short fiction piece by Martin Amis

有部馬丁．艾米斯(Martin Amis)寫的短篇小說

starts out, "On September 11, 2001, he opened his eyes

小說開頭：「2001年9月11日，他張開雙眼，」

at 4 a.m. in Portland, Maine,

「就在凌晨四點，於緬因州的波特蘭市」

and Mohamed Atta's last day began."

「Mohamed Atta的最後一天開始了。」

For a time that I find to be the most placid

這個我覺得很平靜、悠閒的時間

and uneventful hour of the day, four in the morning sure gets

凌晨四點鐘竟然有這麼多 and uneventful hour of the day, four in the morning sure gets

an awful lot of bad press --

負面評價 an awful lot of bad press --

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

across a lot of different media from a lot of big names.

各大媒體都這樣報 across a lot of different media from a lot of big names.

And it made me suspicious.

害我生疑了起來 And it made me suspicious.

I figured, surely some of the most creative artistic minds in the world, really,

我想，世界上這麼多極富創意的人 I figured, surely some of the most creative artistic minds in the world, really,

aren't all defaulting back to this one easy trope

不可能就這樣接受這比喻 aren't all defaulting back to this one easy trope

like they invented it, right?

還好像他們發明的一樣 like they invented it, right?

Could it be there is something more going on here?

是不是有更多原因？ Could it be there is something more going on here?

Something deliberate, something secret,

故意的、 神秘的原因 Something deliberate, something secret,

and who got the four in the morning bad rap ball rolling anyway?

還有，到底是誰開始講凌晨四點壞話的？ and who got the four in the morning bad rap ball rolling anyway?

I say, this guy -- Alberto Giacometti, shown here

我說，就是這個人：阿貝特．傑克梅第(Alberto Giacometti) I say, this guy -- Alberto Giacometti, shown here

with some of his sculptures on the Swiss 100 franc note.

以及他印在瑞士百元鈔的雕像 with some of his sculptures on the Swiss 100 franc note.

He did it with this famous piece

他在紐約現代藝術博物館 He did it with this famous piece

from the New York Museum of Modern Art.

展出的這個作品： from the New York Museum of Modern Art.

Its title -- "The Palace at Four in the Morning --

《凌晨四點的宮殿》 Its title -- "The Palace at Four in the Morning --

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

1932.

於1932年 1932

Not just the earliest cryptic reference

我不止因此找到最早的 Not just the earliest cryptic reference

to four in the morning I can find.

凌晨四點神秘來源 to four in the morning I can find.

I believe that this so-called first surrealist sculpture

我相信這個所謂的第一個超現實主義雕塑 I believe that this so-called first surrealist sculpture

may provide an incredible key to virtually

就是往後的創作者 may provide an incredible key to virtually

every artistic depiction of four in the morning to follow it.

對於凌晨四點描述的關鍵 every artistic depiction of four in the morning to follow it.

I call this The Giacometti Code, a TED exclusive.

我取名為：傑克梅第密碼，TED獨家 I call this The Giacometti Code, a TED exclusive.

No, feel free to follow along on your Blackberries

如果手上有黑莓機、iPhone的 No, feel free to follow along on your Blackberries

or your iPhones if you've got them.

歡迎上網搜尋一下 or your iPhones if you've got them.

It works a little something like -- this is a recent Google search

結果大概像這樣，這是最近用Google作的 It works a little something like -- this is a recent Google search

for four in the morning.

凌晨四點搜尋 for four in the morning.

Results vary, of course. This is pretty typical.

結果當然很多，一定的 Results vary, of course. This is pretty typical.

The top 10 results yield you

前十名的結果裡 The top 10 results yield you

four hits for Faron Young's song, "It's Four in the Morning,"

有四個是費倫楊(Faron Young)的歌：凌晨四點鐘 four hits for Faron Young's song, "It's Four in the Morning,"

three hits for Judi Dench's film, "Four in the Morning,"

有三個是茱蒂丹契的電影《凌晨四點鐘》 three hits for Judi Dench's film, "Four in the Morning,"

one hit for Wislawa Szymborska's poem, "Four in the Morning."

一個是辛波斯卡(Wislawa Szymborska)的詩《凌晨四點鐘》 one hit for Wislawa Szymborska's poem, "Four in the Morning."

But what, you may ask, do a Polish poet, a British Dame,

你會問，一個波蘭詩人、一個英國女爵士、 But what, you may ask, do a Polish poet, a British Dame,

a country music hall of famer all have in common

與一個鄉村名歌手的共通點在哪？ a country music hall of famer all have in common

besides this totally excellent Google ranking?

當然除了Google排行前幾名以外 besides this totally excellent Google ranking?

Well, let's start with Faron Young -- who was born, incidentally,

先講費倫楊好了，他正好在 Well, let's start with Faron Young -- who was born, incidentally,

in 1932.

1932年出生 in 1932.

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

In 1996, he shot himself in the head on December ninth --

1996年12月9日，他舉槍自盡 In 1996, he shot himself in the head on December ninth --

which incidentally is Judi Dench's birthday.

那天正好是茱蒂丹契的生日 which incidentally is Judi Dench's birthday.

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

But he didn't die on Dench's birthday.

但他其實不是在丹契的生日當天死掉 But he didn't die on Dench's birthday.

He languished until the following afternoon when he finally succumbed

他命危到隔天下午才離開人世 He languished until the following afternoon when he finally succumbed

to a supposedly self-inflicted gunshot wound at the age of 64 --

因為自己造成的槍傷，享年64歲 to a supposedly self-inflicted gunshot wound at the age of 64 --

which, incidentally, is how old Alberto Giacometti was when he died.

竟然和傑克梅第以同樣的年齡去世 which, incidentally, is how old Alberto Giacometti was when he died.

Where was Wislawa Szymborska during all this?

那辛波斯卡到哪去了？ Where was Wislawa Szymborska during all this?

She has the world's most absolutely watertight alibi.

她有全世界最完美的不在場證明 She has the world's most absolutely watertight alibi.

On that very day, December 10, 1996 while Mr. Four in the Morning,

1996年12月10日這天，凌晨四點鐘先生 On that very day, December 10, 1996 while Mr. Four in the Morning,

Faron Young, was giving up the ghost in Nashville, Tennessee,

費倫楊在田納西州的納什維爾歸西天時 Faron Young, was giving up the ghost in Nashville, Tennessee,

Ms. Four in the Morning -- or one of them anyway -- Wislawa Szymborska

凌晨四點鐘女士之一的辛波斯卡 Ms. Four in the Morning -- or one of them anyway -- Wislawa Szymborska

was in Stockholm, Sweden, accepting the Nobel Prize for Literature.

正在瑞典首都接受諾貝爾文學獎 was in Stockholm, Sweden, accepting the Nobel Prize for Literature.

100 years to the day after the death of Alfred Nobel himself.

正好是諾貝爾本人去世第100年 100 years to the day after the death of Alfred Nobel himself.

Coincidence? No, it's creepy.

巧合嗎？不，超毛的 Coincidence? No, it's creepy.

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

Coincidence to me has a much simpler magic.

巧合還比較簡單一點 Coincidence to me has a much simpler magic.

That's like me telling you,

好像我說： That's like me telling you,

"Hey, you know the Nobel Prize was established in 1901,

「你知道諾貝爾獎在1901年設立」 "Hey, you know the Nobel Prize was established in 1901,

which coincidentally is the same year Alberto Giacometti was born?"

「那年正好是傑克梅第的出生年」 which coincidentally is the same year Alberto Giacometti was born?"

No, not everything fits so tidily into the paradigm,

當然不是每件事都這麼巧合 No, not everything fits so tidily into the paradigm,

but that does not mean there's not something going on

但不表示沒有其他詭異的事 but that does not mean there's not something going on

at the highest possible levels.

也發生著 at the highest possible levels.

In fact there are people in this room

事實上，在座一定有人 In fact there are people in this room

who may not want me to show you this clip we're about to see.

不想看我將要播的影片 who may not want me to show you this clip we're about to see.

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

Video: We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room --

我們有網球場、游泳池、影音室 Video: We have a tennis court, a swimming pool, a screening room --

You mean if I want pork chops, even in the middle of the night,

你是說，如果我半夜想吃豬排 You mean if I want pork chops, even in the middle of the night,

your guy'll fry them up?

有人會幫我煎？ your guy'll fry them up?

Sure, that's what he's paid for.

當然，我花錢請來的 Sure, that's what he's paid for.

Now do you need towels, laundry, maids?

你需要毛巾、洗衣服、女傭嗎？ Now do you need towels, laundry, maids?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait -- let me see if I got this straight.

等等、等等，讓我搞清楚 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait -- let me see if I got this straight.

It is Christmas Day, 4 a.m.

如果是耶誕節凌晨四點 It is Christmas Day, 4 a.m.

There's a rumble in my stomach.

我肚子餓了 There's a rumble in my stomach.

Homer, please.

荷馬，拜託 Homer, please.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

等等、等等 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Let me see if I got this straight, Matt.

讓我搞清楚，Matt (辛普森家庭作者) Let me see if I got this straight, Matt.

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

When Homer Simpson needs to imagine

當荷馬辛普森想著 When Homer Simpson needs to imagine

the most remote possible moment of not just the clock,

世界上最糟的時刻 the most remote possible moment of not just the clock,

but the whole freaking calendar, he comes up with 0400

他想到的是，耶穌誕生這天 but the whole freaking calendar, he comes up with 0400

on the birthday of the Baby Jesus.

的凌晨四點鐘 on the birthday of the Baby Jesus.

And no, I don't know how it works

我不知道是怎麼搞的 And no, I don't know how it works

into the whole puzzling scheme of things, but obviously,

這整個難解的陰謀，不過 into the whole puzzling scheme of things, but obviously,

I know a coded message when I see one.

我看到密碼就知道 I know a coded message when I see one.

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

I said, I know a coded message when I see one.

我說，我看到密碼就知道 I said, I know a coded message when I see one.

And folks, you can buy a copy of Bill Clinton's "My Life"

各位可以到旁邊書局 And folks, you can buy a copy of Bill Clinton's "My Life"

from the bookstore here at TED.

買本柯林頓回憶錄《我的人生》 from the bookstore here at TED.

Parse it cover to cover for whatever hidden references you want.

從頭到尾找尋神秘線索 Parse it cover to cover for whatever hidden references you want.

Or you can go to the Random House website where there is this excerpt.

或者可以到藍燈書屋網站找節錄 Or you can go to the Random House website where there is this excerpt.

And how far down into it you figure we'll have to scroll

你滑鼠要捲多久才找的到 And how far down into it you figure we'll have to scroll

to get to the golden ticket?

神秘寶物？ to get to the golden ticket?

Would you believe, about a dozen paragraphs?

你相信嗎？大概就十幾段 Would you believe, about a dozen paragraphs?

This is page 474 on your paperbacks, if you're following along:

這是平裝版第474頁，可以看到： This is page 474 on your paperbacks, if you're following along:

"Though it was getting better, I still wasn't satisfied

「就職演說稿已經寫得很好了，」 "Though it was getting better, I still wasn't satisfied

with the inaugural address.

「但我還是不滿意，」 with the inaugural address.

My speechwriters must have been tearing their hair out

「我的撰稿人一定快抓破頭了，」 My speechwriters must have been tearing their hair out

because as we worked between one and four in the morning

「因為我們在就職典禮當天，從凌晨一點弄到四點」 because as we worked between one and four in the morning

on Inauguration Day, I was still changing it."

「還是沒弄出最終稿。」 on Inauguration Day, I was still changing it."

Sure you were, because you've prepared your entire life

最好是，好像你等一輩子的這個 Sure you were, because you've prepared your entire life

for this historic quadrennial event that just sort of sneaks up on you.

四年一次的典禮，就這樣偷偷來到一樣 for this historic quadrennial event that just sort of sneaks up on you.

And then --

然後－ And then --

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

three paragraphs later we get this little beauty:

三段之後果然發現了 three paragraphs later we get this little beauty:

"We went back to Blair House to look at the speech for the last time.

「我們回到布萊爾賓館，檢查最終稿，」 "We went back to Blair House to look at the speech for the last time.

It had gotten a lot better since 4 a.m."

「四點過後果然好多了。」 It had gotten a lot better since 4 a.m."

Well, how could it have?

真的是這樣嗎？ Well, how could it have?

By his own writing, this man was either asleep,

照他的邏輯，這個人不是在睡覺 By his own writing, this man was either asleep,

at a prayer meeting with Al and Tipper or learning how to launch

就是和高爾夫婦一起禱告，或是學著 at a prayer meeting with Al and Tipper or learning how to launch

a nuclear missile out of a suitcase.

怎麼將核彈從手提包裡發射 a nuclear missile out of a suitcase.

What happens to American presidents at 0400 on inauguration day?

就職典禮當天凌晨四點的美國總統們到底在幹嘛？ What happens to American presidents at 0400 on inauguration day?

What happened to William Jefferson Clinton?

柯林頓那時候到底在幹嘛？ What happened to William Jefferson Clinton?

We might not ever know.

我們無從得知 We might not ever know.

And I noticed, he's not exactly around here today

我也注意到，他今天沒有來現場 And I noticed, he's not exactly around here today

to face any tough questions.

無法接受提問 to face any tough questions.

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

It could get awkward, right?

這樣應該很尷尬 It could get awkward, right?

I mean, after all, this whole business happened on his watch.

我是說，這些事都在他眼下發生 I mean, after all, this whole business happened on his watch.

But if he were here --

他如果有來－ But if he were here --

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

he might remind us, as he does in the wrap-up to his fine autobiography,

他可能會提醒我們，就如他自傳裡寫的 he might remind us, as he does in the wrap-up to his fine autobiography,

that on this day, Bill Clinton began a journey --

從這天起，柯林頓開始了他的旅程 that on this day, Bill Clinton began a journey --

a journey that saw him go on to become

這旅程，他成為 a journey that saw him go on to become

the first Democrat president elected

好幾世代以來 the first Democrat president elected

to two consecutive terms in decades.

民主黨首位 to two consecutive terms in decades.

In generations.

連任的總統 In generations.

The first since this man, Franklin Delano Roosevelt,

自羅斯福總統以後的首位 The first since this man, Franklin Delano Roosevelt,

who began his own unprecedented journey

羅斯福總統前所未見的旅程 who began his own unprecedented journey

way back at his own first election,

從他第一次選舉 way back at his own first election,

way back in a simpler time, way back in 1932 --

正是簡單的那年－1932 way back in a simpler time, way back in 1932 --

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

the year Alberto Giacometti

傑克梅第創作 the year Alberto Giacometti

(Laughter)

(笑聲) (Laughter)

made "The Palace at Four in the Morning."

《凌晨四點的宮殿》那年 made "The Palace at Four in the Morning."

The year, let's remember, that this voice, now departed,

那年，讓我們記得，這逝去的聲音... The year, let's remember, that this voice, now departed,

first came a-cryin' into this big old crazy world of ours.

首度來到這個瘋狂的世上 first came a-cryin' into this big old crazy world of ours.

(Music)

(音樂) (Music)

(Applause)

(掌聲) (Applause)