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  • Hi everyone,

    大家好,

  • we are BlimeyCow's favorite band, Pompton Lakes,

    我們是 BlimeyCow 最喜歡的樂隊,Pompton Lakes,

  • and you're watching Messy Mondays.

    而你正在觀賞 Messy Mondays

  • Hi Jordan!

    哈囉 Jorden!

  • (theme music)

    (主題音樂)

  • A few weeks ago, we talked about

    幾個禮拜以前,我們談論過

  • ten things that you should never say to a girl

    10 件你千萬不能和女生說的事情

  • (ding)

  • Because we all know that guys

    因為我們都知道男生

  • need all the help that they can get.

    需要得到所有的幫助

  • But you know, girls say some pretty dumb stuff

    不過你知道嗎?女生有時候也會對男生

  • to guys too sometimes.

    說一些非常白目的話

  • So in the interest of fairness,

    所以為了公平起見

  • here's ten things that you should never say to a guy.

    這裡是 10 件你不應該和男生說的事情

  • "It's nothing. I'm fine."

    「沒事啊,我很好。」

  • No! Tell me what's wrong!

    不!告訴我你怎麼了!

  • I want to understand!

    我想要了解!

  • And I can tell that you might not want to talk about it

    我看得出來你現在不太想要談論這件事

  • right now, but, can't you see that

    不過,你看不出來

  • I'm at least trying to make an effort here?

    我嘗試付出努力嗎?

  • Give me something!

    告訴我一些什麼!

  • "Does this make me look fat?"

    「我這樣看起來胖嗎?」

  • Lose/lose situation,

    這是個雙輸的局面,

  • the fact that you're asking means

    事實上你會這樣問代表

  • you probably think it does.

    你可能覺得這樣看起來很胖

  • So either we confirm how you feel,

    所以要嘛我們就確認你的想法,

  • or you think we're lying.

    要不你就覺得我們說謊

  • When, in actuality, you probably actually

    當,你可能其實

  • look really good.

    看起來很不錯

  • "Here - just let me do it."

    「拿來-讓我自己做吧!」

  • Nothing defeats a man's spirit more than hearing:

    沒有什麼比聽到:「拿來-讓我自己做吧!」

  • "Here - let me do that."

    更可以擊敗一個男人的男子氣概了

  • You think that you're just trying to get a task done

    你覺得你只是要最有效率、最快的

  • as efficiently and fast as possible,

    將一個工作完成,

  • but what I hear is this:

    但我聽到的弦外之音是:

  • "Clearly you're unable to do a job as simple as the dishes,

    「很明顯地你無法將一個像洗碗一樣簡單的工作做好,

  • I'll deal with this,

    那麼我就自己來吧,

  • you can walk away and just

    你可以走開然後去

  • think about how incapable you are."

    想想自己多沒用。」

  • "You are so sweet! How do you not have a girlfriend?"

    「你人真好!怎麼可能沒有女朋友?」

  • Because you won't date me!

    因為你不和我約會啊!

  • "You're going to make some girl

    「你將來會讓某個女孩

  • really happy someday."

    非常地快樂。」

  • Let me demonstrate what this statement feels like

    讓我示範一個男生在聽到這種說法時

  • to a guy when he hears it:

    的感覺是什麼:

  • Kelly here is going to act as a metaphor

    Kelly 在這裡要扮演的是一個象徵

  • for this statement entering

    當這種說法進入

  • into a man's eardrums. Okay.

    一個男生的耳裡時的樣子,好嗎?

  • Watch carefully

    看仔細了

  • (punch)

    (重擊)

  • (strangled moan)

    (壓抑的呻吟)

  • "Does this outfit show too much skin?"

    「這件衣服太露了嗎?」

  • Girls, this one is awkward for us guys,

    女孩們,這個問題對我們男生來說是很尷尬的

  • cause it makes us have to admit that

    因為這讓我們不得不承認

  • we notice stuff like that.

    我們注意到這些事情

  • There is no right answer!

    根本就沒有對的答案!

  • Just...don't put us in that position.

    就...不要把我們放在這樣的狀況當中

  • "You're like a brother to me."

    「你就像我的哥哥一樣。」

  • The feeling is not reciprocated.

    這個感覺不是互相的

  • Because, if we were related,

    因為,如果我們有親戚關係,

  • my feelings for you would be

    我對你的感情在 49 州

  • illegal in forty-nine states

    都會是不合法的

  • ...I looked it up.

    ...我查了一下

  • "So what are you thinking?"

    「所以你覺得怎麼樣?」

  • This can be very dangerous.

    這可能會很危險

  • Hey, what're you thinking about?

    嘿,你在想什麼?

  • Uh, well, you see...

    呃,你知道的...

  • I just saw that commercial for the museum

    我剛在電視上看到那個

  • that was on TV

    博物館的廣告

  • and then that made me think about the planetarium,

    那讓我想到了天文館

  • and then that made me think about Star Wars,

    然後讓我想到了星際大戰,

  • and then that made me think about

    又讓我想到

  • if there are going to be real wars in space

    如果太空發生了真正的戰爭

  • like, for real one day,

    像,真的有一天,

  • and then that made me think about

    那讓我想到

  • the current conflicts in the Middle East

    目前在中東的衝突

  • and then that made me wonder

    於是那讓我懷疑

  • if those are even justified by-

    如果那些是合理的-

  • That commercial was like, two seconds ago...

    那只是一個兩秒鐘前的廣告...

  • ...I know.

    ...我知道

  • "Um, you don't have to do that for me,

    「呃,你不必為我這麼做,

  • do you think that I'm incapable of

    你覺得我自己沒辦法

  • opening the door myself?"

    開門嗎?」

  • Obvs you are capable of opening a door for yourself.

    你當然有辦法自己開門

  • I'm just trying to be a nice guy!

    我只是想做個好人

  • "My ex used to do that, too."

    「我前男友以前也會這樣做。」

  • No one likes hearing about how they compare

    沒有人喜歡聽到自己被拿去

  • to your former flame.

    和前任做比較

  • Ugh, are you going skateboarding again?

    吼,你又要去玩滑板了?

  • My ex used to do that all the time.

    我前男友以前也常常玩滑板

  • You know, maybe you should cut your hair,

    你知道嗎?你或許應該剪頭髮,

  • my ex had long hair,

    我前男友就是留長髮,

  • and I hate him.

    我恨他

  • I think you wear the same deodorant as my ex.

    我覺得你用的體香劑和我前男友一樣

  • That's confusing...

    那讓我有種混淆的感覺...

  • This is over!

    一切都結束了

  • The end!

    結束

  • So there you go!

    所以就是這樣!

  • Now everyone knows

    現在每個人都知道

  • what not to say to everybody else!

    不能和別人說的是什麼!

  • I just fixed communication between the genders.

    我補救了兩性之間的溝通

  • To recap:

    回顧一下:

  • Guys, don't be an idiot,

    男生們,不要做個笨蛋,

  • and girls, give us a break.

    還有女生們,放我們一馬吧!

  • You're welcome.

    不用客氣

  • Don't mind us.

    不要管我們

  • We're just playing the most important game of our lives.

    我們只是在玩人生中最重要的遊戲

Hi everyone,

大家好,

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A2 初級 中文 男生 男友 女生 想到 滑板 聽到

千萬不能和男生講的事: TOP10 (Ten Things You Should Never Say to a Guy)

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    Caurora 發佈於 2017 年 12 月 16 日
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