Name: 大學會交往過的6種女孩：你是其中一種嗎？ (The Six Girls You'll Date in College)
Uploaded: 2016-10-18T22:00:00.000Z
Duration: 3 min 36 s

is you in college, and these are the six girls you'll date in college.

就是你在大學的樣子，而這些就是你在大學會交往過的六種女孩

We don't know, but the daily 4 AM burritos haven't helped.

我們不知道，但每天早上4點的墨西哥捲餅真的沒幫助

than literally anything else.  - Come on, baby.

比任何東西都好看 -來吧，寶貝

till touchdown! - However, no matter what the activity,

就可以觸地得分了！ -然而，不管哪種運動，

you'll always end up the same way: wheezing,

你最後一定會有同樣的下場：喘氣、

You love places like this. - I love places like this.

你喜歡像這樣的地方 -我喜歡像這樣的地方

whichever is cooler.  - You're funny. - Is there a

non-alphabetical difference between E and X? Cut to six weeks later.

-E和X除了字母上的不同還有甚麼差別呢？跳到6個星期後

and have no idea what your pants are made of. - Wake

而且不知道你的長褲是什麼材質 -起床

up. I know the bouncer at Prolapse. - You wouldn't give up this nap for all the

我認識夜店的保鑣 -你絕不會起床即使用

(吸毒瘋狂做愛的後果是沒有任何劑量的興奮劑可以讓你動起來)

- Face it. You're a nice guy. - Did do you drink all of those beers?

-承認吧。你是個好人 -這些啤酒都是你喝的嗎？

- But to her, you're James Dean with Wolverine claws.

-但對她來說，你是有金剛爪的 James Dean

It's fun to play the crazy guy, but there's no

crazy like real repressed crazy. - Not tonight?

比不上真正被壓抑住的瘋狂 -今晚不要嗎？

is it, the perfect 10, what years of television,

就是了，完美的10分，經年累月的電視、

print advertising, and internet porn have taught you-- - Baby, you're not using the couples wallpaper I gave you.

廣告及網路的A片教你的 -寶貝，你沒有用我給你的合照當桌布

- Why you? She saw a Wes Anderson trailer once and thinks you're quirky.

-為何是你？她有次看到Wes Anderson的預告片，便覺得你傻傻的

Who cares? Look at her. How long will it last? What's your talents for crippling

誰在意？看看她。這能持續多久？你穩定

不安全感及惡女凱莎的天賦能持續多久？

You watched Teen Mom without me? You're just like my dad! - You'll keep a picture of her to show to friends.

你自己一個人看 Teen Mom？你跟我爸一樣！ -你會把她照片留著跟朋友炫耀

She will not. She's the only girl who can beat you in Mario Kart.

但她不會。她是唯一可以在馬力歐賽車打敗你的女孩

She's the only girl who will play you in Mario Kart.

她是唯一會陪你玩馬力歐賽車的女孩

- Ha, you drive like my floppy vagina! - Shut up!

-哈，你技術像我鬆弛的陰道！ -閉嘴！

- Relaxed, comfortable, always by your side.

這就像和你的兄弟約會，但有誰

in their right mind would want to f--k their hoodie?

smart, beautiful, and all you're doing is wondering what she's doing there with

聰明、美麗，你一直想著她為何要和

- Is everything okay? - Yeah. - Come on. Be confident.

-還好嗎？ -是啊 -來吧，有自信點

You're not going to mess this up. You won't mess this up.

You won't mess this up. How did you mess this up? - We can still be

你不會搞砸的。你怎麼搞砸的？ -我們仍然可以是

friends, right? - You were too afraid of messing things up.

And that messed things up. Maybe that's irony. Don't look at us.

結果這搞砸了。也許是個諷刺。別看我們

You're the one with a liberal arts degree. That was college.

你是拿到文科學位文憑的人。這就是大學

Time to move out, get a job, and spend your days watching internet videos.

是時候出社會、找份工作，然後花整天時間觀賞網路影片

字幕列表影片播放

大學會交往過的6種女孩：你是其中一種嗎？ (The Six Girls You'll Date in College)

wake

Internet

funny

girl