Name: 你的舊生活正在阻礙你前進——這樣做才能真正放手！ (Your Old Life is Keeping You Stuck—Here’s HOW to Move On)
Uploaded: 2026-03-11T01:55:37.000Z
Duration: 59 min 18 s

If your place and value in someone's life is dependent on what you do for them, so when what you do goes away, your value in their eyes goes away.

如果你在別人生命中的位置和價值，取決於你為他們做了什麼，那麼當你不再為他們做什麼時，你在他們眼中的價值也就消失了。

Today's guest is Nejwa Zebian, an author, activist, speaker, and educator.

今天的來賓是 Nejwa Zebian，她是一位作者、社會運動者、演講者和教育工作者。

She is inspiring millions on how to embrace change and lead more authentic lives.

她啟發了數百萬人如何擁抱改變，並過著更真實的生活。

How do we know what bonds in our life are inauthentic?

我們要怎麼知道生命中有哪些連結是不真實的呢？

When you're scared of showing your actual feelings, your reactions, your responses, and

當你害怕展現真實的感受、你的反應、你的回應，

you know their reaction is going to be to either bring you down or criticize you, that's an inauthentic bond.

而且你知道他們的反應不是把你打壓，就是批評你，那就是一個不真實的連結。

What if someone listening has an inauthentic bond with someone they genuinely care about, like a parent or a sibling?

如果有聽眾和他們真心關心的人，像是父母或手足，有著不真實的連結呢？

Caring for them and loving them genuinely doesn't mean that you carry on your back the responsibility of keeping them in your life or.

關心他們、真心愛他們，並不代表你要扛起讓他們留在你生命中的責任，或者

Now, you're at a crossroads between choosing yourself and choosing being welcomed into the lives of people who you were always welcome in.

現在，你面臨著一個選擇：是選擇自己，還是選擇被那些一直歡迎你的人接納。

What about the guilt that comes up when you make that decision?

當你做出這個決定時，那份罪惡感又該怎麼辦呢？

Don't negotiate your change with people who want you to stay the same.

別跟那些希望你一成不變的人去談論你的改變。

I'm really excited to bring you today's guest.

我非常興奮能為大家介紹今天的來賓。

She's someone I've been following for a really long time, and

I was actually just telling her before we jumped on the camera that I'm quite an introspective and curious person.

其實在我們開始錄影前，我才剛跟她說，我本身是個很內省、很好奇的人。

learning from her content, it just feels like a mirror of what is kind of going on in my own mind, but

並從她的內容中學習時，感覺就像一面照出我內心想法的鏡子，而且

So I'm really excited to have today's guest on.

所以我真的很興奮今天能邀請到這位來賓。

而且這其實是個很奇妙的巧合，

because I reached out and it just so happened that the next day you were going to be in Dubai for two days out of nowhere.

因為我聯絡了妳，結果碰巧妳隔天就突然要來杜拜待兩天。

So, Nejwa, I'm really excited to have you on the balance area today.

所以，Nejwa，我真的很開心今天能邀請妳來到 Balance 節目。

And I'm really excited for this conversation.

You know, I was thinking, do I start this conversation with a little bit about your context and where you've come from?

你知道，我在想，我是要先從妳的背景和妳的經歷開始聊起嗎？

But I'm really keen to get into the content of especially what's in your new book.

不過我真的很想深入聊聊妳的新書內容。

The only constant, something you talk about a lot in this new book is change, which I think is a really interesting topic.

妳在新書裡常常提到的「唯一不變的就是改變」，我覺得這個主題非常有趣。

And I've actually, before we jumped on today's recording, I put up like a Q and A for my listeners, and

在我們開始錄音之前，我其實有在我的聽眾群組辦了一個問答活動，

they've actually sent through some questions around the topic.

他們也傳了一些關於這個主題的問題過來。

But I think what would be a great place to start is why were you drawn to write a book about change?

不過，我覺得一個很棒的開頭是，為什麼妳會想寫一本關於改變的書呢？

I was going through many changes at the time that I was asked, what would you like your next book to be?

在我被問到「妳下一本書想寫什麼」的時候，我正經歷很多改變。

I had just lost my grandma, which was a change.

我剛失去我的奶奶，這也是一個改變。

And I was about to graduate with my doctorate in education, and

而且我即將從教育博士班畢業，

it was going to be the first time in my life that I wasn't actually working towards something anymore because I'd been in school my entire life, and

這將是我人生中第一次，我不再是為了什麼而努力，因為我從小到大都在唸書，

Do I see myself as someone who is constantly productive, constantly working toward that next assignment, that next project, that next thing that I need to finish?

我會將自己視為一個不斷追求生產力、不斷朝著下一個任務、下一個專案、下一個我需要完成的事情而努力的人嗎？

And is that how I want to define myself for the rest of my life?

這就是我餘生想定義自己的方式嗎？

Or should I just put an end to this addiction to being productive, to this addiction to just constantly doing?

還是我應該結束這種對生產力的依賴，這種不斷付出的習慣呢？

It was a big period of transition for me in my life.

那是我人生中一個重大的轉變時期。

And obviously that was a change I chose because I could have continued on with school, but

顯然，這是我自己選擇的改變，因為我本來可以繼續唸書，但是

I decided this was the last thing I was going to do.

我決定這是最後一件我將要做的事。

And at the same time, I had many relationships in my life.

同時，我人生中也有許多關係。

Friendships, family relationships where certain ends needed to be put in place and certain boundaries needed to be put in place.

像是友情、親情，有些關係需要劃下句點，有些界線需要設定。

And I was going through many realizations about my place, like my actual place in people's lives based on what their actions were showing me.

我對自己在別人生命中的位置，以及從他們的行為中觀察到的真實情況，有了許多體悟。

And so those were changes I needed to make.

所以這些都是我需要做的改變。

It wasn't just about, do I want this or not?

這不只是關於我想要或不想要而已。

It was essential for me to live an authentic life to be able to make those changes.

為了能做出這些改變，我必須過著真實的生活。

於是，這三個重要的主題就出現了。

Changes we don't choose, like the death of a loved one or someone breaking up with you, or getting fired from a job, or having something that you really wanted to work out, not work out.

我們無法選擇的改變，像是摯愛離世、被分手、被解僱，或是你非常想成功的卻沒有成功。

Changes we choose, like deciding, I want to go for this program in school, or I don't want to.

我們選擇的改變，像是決定要不要去讀這個學校的課程。

I want to end this relationship, or I don't want to.

我想結束這段關係，或者不想。

And those are, to me, the most important changes because they lead us to a more present, more authentic life.

對我來說，這些是最重要的改變，因為它們引導我們過著更當下、更真實的生活。

So I started writing, and the title emerged, the only constant.

於是我開始寫作，書名也隨之出現，唯一不變的。

Because everyone knows the infamous quote, the only constant in life is change.

因為大家都知道那句有名的話，人生中唯一不變的就是改變。

And, you know, I've had many conversations, especially these last couple of days, being here in Dubai with people that I'd never met before.

而且，你知道的，我有很多談話，尤其是在杜拜的這幾天，跟一些我從未見過的人。

And on the spot, as I'm introducing myself and talking about my book.

當場，在我介紹自己和談論我的書的時候。

They're like, everyone I know is going through something right now.

他們會說，我認識的每個人現在都經歷著一些事情。

Like, everyone is going through changes that they're really struggling to come to terms with.

像是，每個人都正在經歷一些他們真的很難接受的改變。

And it isn't everlasting, constant in life.

而且這不是永恆不變的，人生中總有改變。

It's funny how we get really uncomfortable and it's hard to welcome it in, but

很有趣的是，當我們感到非常不舒服時，也很難去接受它，但是

it is one of those things that is literally inevitable.

We act kind of surprised or unsure when it comes up, but

當它發生時，我們會有點驚訝或不知所措，但是

it's almost like if we could flip that and expect to expect that things are going to change, like, I guarantee for everyone listening right now, if you think there's definitely something changing in your life, I mean, this is a self development podcast, right?

感覺就像是，如果我們能扭轉這種想法，並預期事情會改變，我保證，對於現在正在聽的每個人，如果你覺得你的生活中肯定有什麼正在改變，我是說，這是一個自我成長的Podcast，對吧？

So people are constantly working on themselves in different areas of life.

所以大家都在人生的不同領域不斷地精進自己。

So I think it's a really interesting topic.

所以我覺得這是一個很有趣的主題。

Before we keep going into the book and change specifically, you said something really interesting and that is you realized productivity was an addiction.

在我們深入探討這本書和改變之前，你說了一件很有趣的事，就是你意識到生產力是一種成癮。

This is something I really resonate with.

And a lot of the listeners are a type high performers, kind of go, go, go doers, which is such a great trait.

而且很多聽眾都是那種表現優異、不斷行動的實踐者，這真的很棒。

It makes us very successful, makes us achieve a lot of things.

這讓我們很成功，讓我們達成很多事情。

But the flip of that is you struggle to slow down, be patient.

但反過來，你會發現自己很難慢下來、保持耐心。

What advice do you have for someone listening who might be stuck in that productivity addiction?

對於正在聽的、可能陷入生產力成癮的人，你有什麼建議？

You have to ask yourself, why is it that you believe that you have to keep getting things done?

你必須問自己，為什麼你會覺得自己必須不斷完成事情？

Many of us develop a belief at a very young age that I do, therefore I am worthy.

我們很多人在很小的時候就形成一種信念：我做，所以我值得。

So my worth is based on my actions, on the things that I do, on the ways that I please people, on my ability to see someone needing something and me being able to fulfill that need.

所以我的價值是建立在我的行動上，我做的事情上，我取悅別人的方式上，我看到別人有需求，而我能滿足那個需求的能力上。

We learn that being needed means we are valued, but that's not the truth.

我們學到被需要就代表我們有價值，但那不是真的。

And we don't bring that realization into awareness until we get to a point in our lives where we're running on this never ending hamster wheel and we're exhausted and we still don't feel worthy.

直到我們人生中某個時刻，不斷地像在跑一個無止盡的滾輪，精疲力盡卻還是覺得自己不夠好，我們才意識到這件事。

It's like a never ending race for your worth.

這就像一場永無止境的價值追逐賽。

And that finish line keeps moving further ahead.

而那個終點線總是不斷地往前移。

Every time you do something, you think, finally I'm gonna feel like I'm worthy.

每當你做完一件事，你都會想，終於我會覺得自己有價值了。

Finally I'm gonna get that person's love.

Finally I'm gonna get those friends respect, or them including me or whatever it is.

終於我會得到那些朋友的尊重，或是被他們接納，不管是什麼。

And then you finish that thing for them and you realize that the finish line just moved ahead and now you have to do another thing.

然後你為他們做完那件事，卻發現終點線又往前移了，現在你必須做另一件事。

And it's because the belief system itself, not that it means that something is wrong with you, but

這是因為這個信念系統本身，並不是說你哪裡錯了，而是

the Belief system itself is flawed because it's not I do, therefore I'm worthy.

這個信念系統本身就有缺陷，因為它不是「我做，所以我值得」。

字幕列表影片播放

你的舊生活正在阻礙你前進——這樣做才能真正放手！ (Your Old Life is Keeping You Stuck—Here’s HOW to Move On)

vulnerable

constantly

authentic

absolutely