Name: 川普撂話：癌症不再是問題！若我來，絕不搶功！ (Trump Says He Wouldn’t Get Credit for Curing Cancer)
Uploaded: 2026-02-25T21:42:27.000Z
Duration: 10 min 2 s

And now, if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news.

那麼，如果你不介意的話，我們要來進入新聞了。

Tonight was the State of the Union address, and

President Trump said yesterday that he was expecting the speech to be long.

川普總統昨天說，他預期這場演講會很長。

Oh, yeah, I think we're all expecting that.

喔，是啊，我想我們都預期到了。

You're incapable of being brief, even if you were just going to read a haiku.

你根本無法簡潔，就算你只是要唸一首俳句。

President Trump tonight delivered his State of the Union address.

川普總統今晚發表了他的國情諮文。

We tape early, so I'll go ahead and fact check in advance.

我們提早錄影，所以我就先幫大家查證事實了。

不是真的，不是真的，不是真的。

OJ's white Bronco was not driven by Joe Biden.

歐·傑的白色野馬不是喬·拜登開的。

And actually, Jonathan Bailey is people's sexiest man alive.

而且實際上，強納森·貝利是大家心中的年度最性感男人。

During a White House event yesterday, President Trump complained that he does not get credit for his accomplishments, but

昨天在白宮的活動上，川普總統抱怨他沒有因為自己的成就獲得肯定，

反而因為別人的成就獲得肯定。

President Trump complained that he does not get credit for his accomplishments and added, quote, if I came up with a cure for cancer, they would say he should have done it years ago.

川普總統抱怨他沒有因為自己的成就獲得肯定，並補充說，引述，如果我找到了癌症的治療方法，他們會說他早就該這麼做了。

I feel like if you came up with a cure for cancer, I would lose respect for cancer.

我覺得如果你找到了癌症的治療方法，我會對癌症失去尊敬。

During the same event, President Trump said the crazed shooters only go after consequential presidents and added that John F.

在同一場活動中，川普總統表示那些瘋狂的槍手只會找有影響力的總統下手，並補充說約翰·F·

Was consequential because, quote, there was a glamour there.

有影響力是因為，引述，那裡有一種魅力。

Yeah, that's why they're going after you, the glamour.

對，這就是他們找上你的原因，魅力。

I have an interesting question about that one, Wally.

我對那個問題有個有趣的疑問，瓦利。

I feel like you spelled glamour two different ways.

我覺得你把「魅力」拼了兩種不同的方式。

All right, so there's the punchline with the U.

好的，所以這就是有 U 的笑點。

I was just in London, so that's the London spelling, the British spelling.

我剛去了倫敦，所以那是倫敦拼法，英式拼法。

Oh, you were in London, so you wanted to do one for us and one for them.

哦，你去了倫敦，所以你想為我們做一個，也為他們做一個。

North Korean leader Kim Jong Un was re elected yesterday as the head of the ruling political party.

北韓領導人金正恩昨天再次當選為執政黨的領袖。

I think because he got out and really talked to the people.

我想是因為他走出去，真正地跟人民對話。

Unlike his opponent, who never left his grave.

不像他的對手，他從來沒有離開過他的墳墓。

The CEO of Domino's said in a new interview that the pizza chain is looking to double its market share in part by targeting lower income customers.

達美樂的執行長在新的訪談中表示，這家披薩連鎖店希望能將其市場佔有率翻倍，部分方法是鎖定較低收入的顧客。

Oh, you mean hoping rich people order Domino's?

喔，你的意思是希望有錢人點達美樂？

They can't read the pizza tracker through their monocle?

他們沒辦法透過他們的單片眼鏡看披薩追蹤器嗎？

我擔心那已經是過時的說法了。

Did you see a lot of monocles over in foggy London town.

你在霧都倫敦看到很多單片眼鏡嗎？

So lucky that we have Wally now to go to for her.

真幸運我們現在有Wally可以找她。

Our England news New York based food companies issued a recall for more than 9,000 pounds of family size Italian style frozen meatballs after customers reported finding pieces of metal.

我們的英格蘭新聞，紐約的食品公司發布召回令，超過九千磅的家庭號義大利風格冷凍肉丸，因為顧客回報發現金屬碎片。

Though if they were really Italian style, the company would have just said eat around it.

不過如果真的是義大利風格，公司應該就直接說「避開吃就好」。

The pharmaceutical company Novo Nordisk announced today that it will reduce the cost of its weight loss drugs in 2027 by up to 50%.

藥廠 Novo Nordisk 今天宣佈，他們將在 2027 年將減重藥物價格最高調降 50%。

Of course, the hard part will be keeping it off.

當然，難的部份是之後要怎麼維持。

那是一個測驗，你們都通過了。

Finally, the restaurant chain Applebee's this week began offering a New Orleans themed Big Easy burger which features pepper jack cheese, spicy mustard and dewy sausage.

最後，連鎖餐廳 Applebee's 這週開始推出以紐奧良為主題的 Big Easy 漢堡，裡面有傑克起司、辣芥末和德威香腸。

Everybody, we got a great show for you tonight.

各位，我們今晚有個很棒的節目要給你們。

You know from his starring role on Monk, as well as the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.

你們從他在《神探阿蒙》以及《了不起的麥瑟爾夫人》中的主演角色認識他。

Catch him in Antigone, this play I read in high school.

在公共劇場的《安提戈涅》中可以看到他，這齣戲是我高中時讀過的。

Beginning February 26th at the public Theater right here in New York City.

2月26日起，就在紐約市的公共劇場。

You know her from Dying for Sex and Parks and Recreation as well as her amazing film Marcel the Shell with Shoes On.

你們從《Dying for Sex》和《公園與遊憩》認識她，還有她那部很棒的電影《Marcel the Shell with Shoes On》。

She's making her Broadway debut, an all out comedy about ambition now playing at the Nederlander Theater.

她即將首次登上百老匯舞臺，這是一齣關於野心的全喜劇，現正在 Nederlander Theater 演出。

Our friend Jenny Slate is back on the show and he is chef, partner of the 86 and co creator of the Corner Store.

我們的朋友 Jenny Slate 回到節目上了，他是一位主廚、86 的合夥人，也是 Corner Store 的聯合創作者。

He is going to show us how to make the perfect steak.

他要教我們怎麼煎出完美的牛排。

Taylor Tomlinson 談論家庭號洋芋片。

This week, an incredible conversation with her highly recomm.

這週，我們有場很棒的對話，她非常推薦。

Hey, also real quick today, 12th anniversary of late night.

嘿，另外快速說一下，今天是深夜秀的十二週年。

And you know, I sit in my office today trying to reflect and couldn't come up with anything.

你知道嗎，我今天坐在辦公室裡試著回想，卻什麼也想不出來。

You know what the best snl, you know what the best late night we're ever going to do?

你知道我們做過最棒的SNL，你知道我們將要做過最棒的深夜秀是什麼嗎？

While I'm talking about living in the future, I'm like, you know snl, I mean late night.

當我說到活在未來時，我就像，你知道SNL，我的意思是深夜秀。

You know, the best show we're ever gonna do is tonight.

你知道，我們將要做過最棒的節目就是今晚。

字幕列表影片播放

川普撂話：癌症不再是問題！若我來，絕不搶功！ (Trump Says He Wouldn’t Get Credit for Curing Cancer)

expect

state

address

segment