Name: 一場讓人精疲力盡的歲月！美國人為川普關稅買單 | 沒有義務尋求和平 (One Exhausting Year | Americans Pay For Trump's Tariffs | No Obligation To Make Peace)
Uploaded: 2026-02-14T17:13:05.000Z
Duration: 11 min 51 s

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, very kind.

Welcome, welcome, one and all to the Late Show.

歡迎，歡迎，各位來到 Late Show。

I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, Ladies and gentlemen, I probably don't have to tell you, check your calendars.

我是你們的主持人 Stephen Colbert，各位，我大概不用提醒大家，看一下日曆。

It's January 20th, which means Donald Trump has been in office for exactly 1,000 years.

今天是 1 月 20 日，這代表 Donald Trump 已經在位整整 1,000 年了。

During that time, he has monopolized our attention every second of every minute of every hour of every day.

這段時間以來，他每分每秒、每小時、每天都壟斷了我們的注意力。

Which is sad, because today we're not focusing on the real meaning of January 20th.

這有點令人難過，因為今天我們不聚焦在 1 月 20 日的真正意義。

A lot has happened in a short time this year alone.

光是今年，短時間內就發生了很多事。

Trump renamed the Gulf of Mexico the Gulf of America, held a giant military parade on his birthday, said he wants Canada to be our 51st state, signed an executive order ending birthright citizenship, tore down the east wing of the White House to build a ballroom, cover the remaining parts of the White House in golden gee gaws.

Trump 把墨西哥灣改名叫 Gulf of America，在他生日那天舉辦盛大的軍事遊行，說他想讓加拿大成為我們的第 51 個州，簽署行政命令終止落地公民權，拆掉白宮東翼蓋宴會廳，把白宮剩下的部分都鍍上金。

Forced Paramount to make Rush Hour 4, made himself the chair of the Kennedy center board, then renamed it the Trump Kennedy center, and

強迫派拉蒙製作《尖峰時刻 4》，自己當了甘迺迪中心董事會主席，然後把它改名叫 Trump Kennedy center，

而且還個人吞了超過 14 億美元。

You didn't remember most of that stuff because every single day, there's some new Trump horror dominating the headlines.

你記不住這些事，因為每天都有新的 Trump 恐怖事件佔據頭條。

Case in point, Trump invaded Venezuela a couple of weeks ago, seized their leader and brought him to Brooklyn.

舉個例子，Trump 幾週前入侵了委內瑞拉，抓了他們的領導人帶到布魯克林。

And absolutely nobody's talking about it, not even me.

而且根本沒人在討論這件事，連我都不提。

And it's probably, really, it's probably the whole point.

這大概，真的，這大概就是重點。

Today's maniacal criminality distracts us from yesterday's maniac crimes.

今天的瘋狂罪行讓我們忽略了昨天的瘋狂罪犯。

Which reminds me, where are the Epstein files?

The point is, the last year has been exhausting, and not just for us.

重點是，過去這一年真的讓人筋疲力盡，不只是我們。

That's why Trump's always falling asleep.

Trump celebrated his one year anniversary today, this afternoon, with a totally planned surprise appearance in the White House press room.

Trump 今天下午在白宮記者會上，舉行了一個完全計畫好的驚喜現身，慶祝他上任一週年。

Now, obviously, the President is a very busy man, so he can only speak for two hours.

顯然，總統是個非常忙碌的人，所以他只能講兩個小時。

Time magazine raves Trump tag accomplishments and grudges in rambling speech to White House press.

Time magazine 報導，Trump 在一場冗長的白宮記者會上，一面讚揚自己的成就，一面抱怨舊恨。

The New Republic says Trump, 79, kicks off press conference by reading aloud to himself.

The New Republic 指出，79 歲的 Trump 在記者會一開始，是自己對自己朗讀。

The Express UK 評論 Trump 的健康狀況。

Fear soared during bizarre press briefing.

在這場離奇的記者會上，恐懼感飆升。

And Stephen Colbert says, these are the mad ramblings of a syphilitic brain.

而 Stephen Colbert 說，這是一個梅毒腦袋的瘋狂胡言亂語。

Trump began the press conference steadily and sleepily, holding up pictures of immigrants with criminal records.

Trump 在記者會上，一開始慢條斯理、昏昏欲睡地，拿著有犯罪紀錄的移民照片。

You're not getting bored with this, right?

Is it bored when your testicles snap up against your pelvis while your heart beats like a tweaked out woodpecker and you're worried for your grandchildren that haven't even been born yet?

睪丸撞到骨盆，心臟像過動的啄木鳥一樣狂跳，還擔心還沒出生的孫子，這樣你會覺得無聊嗎？

Is it still technically sundowning if it happens at 2 o' clock in the afternoon?

如果是下午兩點發生，那還算是「日落症候群」嗎？

Now, when Trump wasn't silently holding up his immigrant Pokemon cards, he tried to tout his many accomplishments, including sending the National Guard to dc.

當時 Trump 沒有默默地拿出他的移民寶可夢卡，他試圖吹噓他的許多成就，包括派國民兵到 DC。

You can walk right from here to a restaurant right through the center of town.

你可以直接從這裡走到鎮中心的餐廳。

You can be with your child, with your loved one, with your lover.

你可以和你的孩子、你的愛人、你的伴侶在一起。

Your lover's not going to be killed anymore, so he can act like a real lover.

你的伴侶不會再被殺害了，所以他可以像個真正的伴侶一樣。

I mean, your lover's not going to be killed.

我是說，你的伴侶不會被殺害。

And remember, there must be 50 ways to kill your lover.

而且請記得，殺害你的伴侶有五十種方法。

You could murder Francine Jean, you could run over with a bus.

你可以謀殺 Francine Jean，你可以開巴士撞她。

Point is, I'm still crazy after all these years.

重點是，我這麼多年來還是一樣瘋狂。

Anyway, that happened today and we'll forget it tomorrow because Trump's focused on conquering Greenland now, and

反正，今天發生了這件事，我們明天就會忘記，因為 Trump 現在專注於征服格陵蘭，而且

he hasn't ruled out using the military for that.

In fact, this weekend, he threatened tariffs against any NATO allies who sent a few dozen troops there, including Denmark, Norway, Sweden, France, Germany, the United Kingdom, the Netherlands, and

事實上，這個週末，他威脅要對任何派遣幾十名阿兵哥到那裡的北約盟友徵收關稅，包括丹麥、挪威、瑞典、法國、德國、英國、荷蘭，以及

We import a billion dollars a year of finished paper and paperboard, articles of pulp, paper and board.

我們每年進口價值十億美元的紙製品和紙板，以及紙漿、紙張和紙板製品。

And you know the old saying, first they came from my paper board and I said nothing.

你知道那句老話，他們先來拿我的紙板，我什麼都沒說。

Then they came from my paper and board, and I was like, how is that different?

然後他們來拿我的紙張和紙板，我就想，這有什麼不一樣？

Unlike all of his previous tariff threats, Europe did not cave this time.

跟以往他威脅課徵關稅不一樣，歐洲這次沒有屈服。

我們什麼時候讓歐洲人進來的？

I got to check the passports before these people leave.

我得在這些人離開前檢查一下護照。

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一場讓人精疲力盡的歲月！美國人為川普關稅買單 | 沒有義務尋求和平 (One Exhausting Year | Americans Pay For Trump's Tariffs | No Obligation To Make Peace)

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