Name: 為什麼我必須學會 "小聲交談"？ (Why I Had to Learn Small Talk)
Uploaded: 2025-09-27T14:09:28.000Z
Duration: 14 min 56 s

現在進行式

So today we're going to talk about small talk, how you do it, why you need it and everything in between.

所以，今天我們要談談閒聊，如何閒聊，為什麼需要閒聊，以及閒聊之間的一切。

Today I'm in a different location, I'm in Vienna right now in this beautiful park.

今天我在另一個地方，我現在在維也納，在這個美麗的公園裡。

過去簡單式

I decided to just come for a walk and make a video, why not?

我決定只是來散散步，然後拍一段視頻，為什麼不呢？

So I come from a post-Soviet Eastern European country called Moldova and we don't really have small talk there.

我來自蘇聯解體後的東歐國家摩爾多瓦，在那裡我們不會閒聊。

If you ask somebody, how are you, they're either going to tell you all their medical history and their personal life issues or they're just going to look at you like you're crazy.

如果你問別人 "你好嗎"，他們要麼會告訴你他們所有的病史和個人生活問題，要麼就會像看瘋子一樣看著你。

And honestly, I've always thought that small talk is kind of stupid, it's a waste of time.

老實說，我一直認為閒聊有點愚蠢，是在浪費時間。

But when I moved to Canada, I very quickly realized that small talk is necessary and that I need it and that it doesn't matter what I think about it.

但當我搬到加拿大後，我很快意識到，閒聊是必要的，我需要閒聊，我怎麼想並不重要。

So today I'm going to tell you or I'm going to try to explain why it feels awkward, why it is important and what expressions and phrases and questions you can have in your back pocket in case you need small talk.

所以，今天我要告訴你，或者說我要試著解釋為什麼會感覺尷尬，為什麼它很重要，以及你可以在口袋裡準備哪些表達方式、短語和問題，以備不時之需。

So it becomes a bit more fun and interesting rather than a nerve-wracking experience.

這樣，它就會變得更加有趣和好玩，而不是讓人緊張不安。

But before I dive in, make sure to check my website theforeignson.com.

但在我深入探討之前，請務必訪問我的網站 theforeignson.com。

I have my upcoming speaking clubs there, my newsletter, you can sign up and get a free PDF guide with 20 of my favorite English idioms.

那裡有我即將舉辦的演講俱樂部、我的時事通訊，你可以註冊並獲得一份免費的 PDF 指南，裡面有 20 個我最喜歡的英語成語。

I post all of my resources, my recommendations there, so make sure to check that out.

我在那裡發佈了我所有的資源和建議，所以一定要去看看。

And if you'd like to support my channel and help me create more free content for you, I just launched memberships.

如果你想支持我的頻道，幫助我為你創作更多免費內容，我剛剛推出了會員制。

So by signing up, you are showing your support and you're helping me get my coffee fix every week or every month or every day.

是以，只要您註冊，就是對我的支持，就是幫助我每週、每月或每天都能喝到咖啡。

You become a friend of the channel and I'm able to create more lessons and more fun educational videos for you.

您成為頻道的朋友，我就能為您製作更多課程和更有趣的教育視頻。

Okay, let's start with what the hell is small talk?

好吧，我們先來看看什麼是 "閒聊"？

是以，在摩爾多瓦，閒聊是很少見的。

We go straight to the point, you ask a question, you give the answer according to the question.

我們直奔主題，提出問題，根據問題給出答案。

The answer has to be honest, has to be accurate and has to be actual, has to be up to date to the reality, to the current time.

答案必須是誠實的，必須是準確的，必須是真實的，必須是符合現實和當前時代的。

And for us, it's not a problem to start with negatives and tell you that my cat is sick or my back hurts or I have so many things to do and I'm so stressed out.

對我們來說，從負面開始，告訴你我的貓病了，我的背疼了，或者我有很多事情要做，我壓力很大，這都不是問題。

But in English speaking countries, small talk is like social glue.

但在英語國家，閒聊就像社交粘合劑。

You show your friendliness, your approachability every time you meet someone new.

每次遇到新朋友時，你都會表現出你的友好和平易近人。

You don't have to love it, but you need it if you want to connect with people outside your country and get that networking going.

你不一定要喜歡它，但如果你想與國外的人聯繫並建立聯繫，你就需要它。

那麼，為什麼閒聊會讓人感覺尷尬呢？

So many different questions in the moment.

Small talk is not about you saying what you need to say.

閒聊並不是要你把該說的話都說出來。

It's about making the other person comfortable and you showing interest in them.

這就是要讓對方感到舒適，你也要表現出對對方的興趣。

So I never really thought that small talk is so necessary until I moved to Canada and I started working as a restaurant manager where I had to communicate with my team, customers, guests, executives, trades people, like so much more communication than I would normally do.

是以，我從未想過閒聊是如此必要，直到我搬到加拿大，開始擔任餐廳經理，我必須與我的團隊、顧客、客人、管理人員、業內人士溝通，比我平時做的溝通要多得多。

And every single time they would either call someone or contact someone or meet someone, they would have this small interaction at the beginning of their conversation before they moved into the professional business topics.

他們每次給某人打電話、與某人聯繫或與某人見面時，都會在談話開始時進行這種小互動，然後才進入專業的商業話題。

And because I was around, I was actually paying attention at how they're doing it.

因為我就在附近，所以我一直在關注他們是怎麼做的。

And I realized that for those first few minutes of small talk, people get to feel a little bit more relaxed around each other.

我意識到，在最初幾分鐘的閒聊中，人們會覺得彼此更放鬆一些。

So when it comes to doing business a few minutes later, they have this rapport going on already and it's not just like, okay, open the door or call and we go straight into business.

是以，當幾分鐘後要談生意時，他們已經有了這種默契，而不僅僅是 "好吧，開門或打電話，我們直接談生意"。

We haven't exchanged a single question or answer or sentence and let's get down to business.

我們還沒有交換過一個問題、一個答案或一句話，讓我們言歸正傳吧。

And when the time came for me to interact with all these people, I realized how much easier the connection was happening was forming when I had a little question ready or a little interest in that person.

當我和這些人交流的時候，我意識到，當我準備好一個小問題或對那個人有一點興趣時，建立聯繫就容易多了。

That person was already much more open and willing to talk to me about pretty much anything.

那個人已經更加開放，願意和我談論幾乎所有的事情。

So when the time came for me to start these conversations, I realized that having something in my back pocket or up my sleeve, some little questions, some casual light jokes, some fun greetings or something helped me so much to break the ice, not only for them, but also for me.

是以，當我開始這些對話的時候，我意識到，在我的口袋裡或袖子裡準備一些東西，一些小問題，一些隨意的輕鬆笑話，一些有趣的問候或其他東西，不僅對他們，而且對我來說，都對我打破僵局大有幫助。

So instead of that first interaction being stiff and awkward because it was the first contact ever made with that person, we gave each other the space to become a little bit more relaxed.

是以，我們並沒有因為是第一次與對方接觸而感到僵硬和尷尬，而是給了對方空間，讓對方變得更放鬆一些。

So based on my personal experiences, I learned that small talk was not just fluff.

是以，根據我的親身經歷，我瞭解到閒聊並不只是花言巧語。

It was an actual real tool to build trust, to open doors, and to make sure that I'm able to create those connections and network the way native speakers do.

這是建立信任、打開大門的真正工具，也是確保我能夠像母語人士那樣建立聯繫和網絡的真正工具。

On top of that, every time you have a first interaction with someone, this is your chance to create a first impression, right?

此外，每當你與他人進行第一次互動時，這都是你創造第一印象的機會，對嗎？

And people don't really remember exactly what you said, but they remember how you made them feel.

人們並不記得你到底說了什麼，但他們記得你給他們帶來的感受。

So if in that little small talk portion of your conversation, you are friendly, you are open, you're approachable, people feel relaxed around you.

是以，如果你在談話中的那一小段閒聊中，表現得友好、開放、平易近人，人們就會覺得你很放鬆。

是以，他們更願意和你在一起。

So imagine you're at a networking event, at a conference or something, and the person right next to you could be your potential new client, or your potential new partner or colleague.

想象一下，你正在參加一個網絡活動、會議或其他活動，你旁邊的人可能是你的潛在新客戶，或者是你的潛在新合作伙伴或同事。

If you don't say anything, you miss that chance.

如果你什麼都不說，就會錯失良機。

And trust me, the other person thinks the same way.

They're probably also nervous to say something.

他們可能也會緊張得說不出話來。

They're probably also overthinking what they want to say or are about to say.

他們可能也在過度思考自己想說或將要說的話。

So one of you has to take the first step.

所以，你們中必須有人邁出第一步。

Consider small talk like a little bridge over to bigger conversations, more serious conversations.

把閒聊看作是通向更大對話、更嚴肅對話的一座小橋。

For example, if you're in an elevator, you have a very short amount of time to create this connection with someone, right?

例如，如果你在電梯裡，你只有很短的時間與別人建立聯繫，對嗎？

So a simple hi, how are you or hi, how's your day is enough.

是以，一句簡單的 "你好 "或 "今天過得怎麼樣 "就足夠了。

If you are standing in line at a coffee shop, right, you can ask things like, have you been here before?

如果你在咖啡店排隊，你可以問一些問題，比如，你以前來過這裡嗎？

Literally anything for those couple of minutes that you're in line together, so the silence isn't awkward.

在你們一起排隊的那幾分鐘裡，你可以做任何事，這樣沉默就不會尷尬了。

And you never know, that could literally be your neighbor and you would have never known.

你永遠不知道，那可能就是你的鄰居，而你卻永遠不會知道。

You are saying to the other person indirectly, I see you, I care enough to ask you something.

你是在間接地對對方說，我看到你了，我關心你，所以要問你一些事情。

I care enough to start a conversation with you.

我關心你，才會和你開始對話。

So how do you actually get good at small talk?

那麼，如何才能真正善於閒聊呢？

Rule number one, don't try to be interesting.

People love talking about themselves, so you have to let them.

人們喜歡談論自己，所以你必須讓他們談論。

You have to be there to listen more than to talk.

You can notice little details, maybe about their outfit.

你可以注意到一些小細節，也許是他們的著裝。

And you always have to finish your sentence with another question, because you're passing the mic to the other person.

而且，你總是得用另一個問題來結束你的話，因為你要把麥克風傳給另一個人。

And if you're a little bit shy or you're a little bit introverted, that's totally fine.

如果你有點害羞或有點內向，那也沒關係。

What you need to do is just to have a few questions ready to go whenever you need them.

您需要做的只是準備好一些問題，以便隨時使用。

Literally anything connected to the area, the circumstance, the environments that you're in.

從字面上看，任何東西都與你所處的區域、環境有關。

So if you want the conversations to keep flowing naturally, you just have to finish your sentence with another question.

是以，如果你想讓對話繼續自然流暢地進行下去，你就必須用另一個問題來結束你的話。

And then if they know that, they will finish their sentence with another question.

如果他們知道了，就會用另一個問題來結束他們的話。

It just takes the pressure off of you and lets them talk.

這樣可以減輕你的壓力，讓他們說出來。

And because that person likes talking about them, you just ask them another question, and then another question, and then another question.

因為那個人喜歡談論自己，所以你就會問他另一個問題，然後是另一個問題，然後是另一個問題。

字幕列表影片播放

為什麼我必須學會 "小聲交談"？ (Why I Had to Learn Small Talk)

literally

awkward

potential

extremely