Name: 這個艾美獎屬於你！| 特朗普童話般的英國之行 | 卡什-帕特爾的工作糟透了 (This Emmy Belongs To You! | Trump’s Fairy Tale Visit To England | Kash Patel Sucks At His Job)
Uploaded: 2025-09-19T00:46:38.000Z
Duration: 11 min 46 s

I meant to say, welcome to the Emmy-winning Late Show.

我是想說，歡迎來到艾美獎獲獎節目《深夜秀》。

Please, because, because on Sunday night, on Sunday night, we won our first Emmy for Outstanding Talk Series.

拜託，因為，因為在週日晚上，在週日晚上，我們第一次贏得了優秀脫口秀系列艾美獎。

Man, I'm telling you, we should have gotten canceled years ago.

夥計，我告訴你，我們早在幾年前就該取消了。

This award, I'm sorry, let me have that there, Marcus.

這個獎，對不起，讓我來拿吧，馬庫斯。

This award belongs to all 200 of the incredibly hard-working people who make this show.

這個獎項屬於製作這個節目的所有 200 位辛勤工作的人。

First and foremost, the writers of this show, who...

Every day, who they take down everything I say during the show.

每天，他們都會記下我在節目中說的每一句話。

Just so that there's a script at the end of the night as a souvenir for everybody.

這樣，當晚結束時，每個人都會有一份劇本作為紀念。

The stage crew, production staff, talent, segment, editors, the band.

舞臺工作人員、製作人員、人才、環節、編輯、樂隊。

Hold, field, control room, props, graphics, research, footage, digital, accounting, legal, wardrobe, makeup, security, maintenance, assistants and interns.

負責現場、控制室、道具、製圖、研究、鏡頭、數字、會計、法律、服裝、化妝、安保、維修、助理和實習生。

And, and of course, the audience department who let in all of you gorgeous people every night.

當然，還有觀眾部門，他們每晚都讓你們這些大美人進來。

Because you, you the audience, you people here, you people out there, you are the ones who ultimately make this show possible.

因為你們，你們這些觀眾，你們這些在這裡的人，你們這些在外面的人，是你們讓這場演出最終成為可能。

So this belongs to you too, but I'm going to keep it.

所以這也是屬於你的，但我要留著它。

And if anyone so much as touches it, I will jab your eyes out with the wings right there.

如果有人敢碰它一下，我就用翅膀把你的眼睛戳出來。

I'm so grateful to everyone at the Academy who voted for us and to the Emmy producers for the flattering lighting that made me look so much younger on some of the nights.

我非常感謝奧斯卡的每一位為我們投票的人，也非常感謝艾美獎的製片人，是他們的燈光讓我在某些夜晚看起來年輕了許多。

And I want to toss a bouquet of admiration to the other nominees in our category.

我想向我們這個類別的其他提名者致以敬意。

My dear friends, Jon Stewart and Jimmy Kimmel.

我親愛的朋友們，喬恩-斯圖爾特（Jon Stewart）和吉米-基梅爾（Jimmy Kimmel）。

These two fellows, old friends, unbelievably talented, so lovely.

這兩個人是老朋友，才華橫溢，可愛至極。

Kimmel even put up a for your consideration billboard, and this is real, that said, I'm voting for Steven.

基梅爾甚至還豎起了一塊 "請您考慮 "的廣告牌，這是真的，上面寫著 "我要投史蒂文一票"。

To pay him back next year, I'm going to do the exact same thing.

為了明年報答他，我要做同樣的事情。

Speaking of Emmys, Donald Trump doesn't have one.

說到艾美獎，唐納德-特朗普沒有一個。

Also, right now, right now he's out of the country, making his second, making his second state visit to the UK.

另外，現在，現在他正在國外，對英國進行他的第二次國事訪問。

But for a state visit, Trump's going to be keeping a surprisingly low profile.

但作為一次國事訪問，特朗普將保持出人意料的低調。

He's going to be at Windsor Castle behind closed doors far from massive planned protests and without delivering a traditional address to potential critics in Parliament.

他將在溫莎城堡閉門謝客，遠離計劃中的大規模抗議活動，也不會向議會中潛在的批評者發表傳統的講話。

In fact, he's so unpopular over there that on the Windsor Castle grounds, and this is true, protesters laid out this colossal banner of Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein.

事實上，他在那裡非常不受歡迎，以至於在溫莎城堡（Windsor Castle）的廣場上，抗議者打出了唐納德-特朗普（Donald Trump）和傑弗裡-愛潑斯坦（Jeffrey Epstein）的巨幅標語。

What are they going to do with it after Trump's state visit?

特朗普國事訪問後，他們打算怎麼處理？

Children, we have a donation of a very unfortunate parachute for today's gym class.

孩子們，我們為今天的體育課捐贈了一個非常不幸的降落傘。

Everyone, oh no, get out of there, get out of there.

大家，哦，不，快離開那裡，快離開那裡。

Now, instead, Trump will be visiting the royal family, including King Charles.

現在，特朗普將拜訪包括查爾斯國王在內的王室成員。

我迫不及待地想看到他們倆在一起。

So Charles, let me get this part straight.

You cheated on your ex-wife with an older woman?

你揹著前妻和一個老女人偷情？

Is that like driving on the wrong side of the road?

這就像在錯誤的道路上開車嗎？

Trump's very excited about meeting the king.

And, you know, he's, I think he represents the country so well.

我認為他很好地代表了這個國家。

I've watched, he's such an elegant gentleman.

我看了，他真是個優雅的紳士。

He's such an elegant gentleman with his, with his top hat and his monocle and his little cane.

他戴著高帽、單片眼鏡和小手杖，真是一位優雅的紳士。

While Trump is over there, he'll be treated to an opulent banquet in Windsor Castle and a carriage ride through the grounds of Windsor Castle.

特朗普在那裡期間，將在溫莎城堡參加一場奢華的宴會，並乘坐馬車遊覽溫莎城堡。

He's just like Cinderella, but good luck slipping the glass slipper on those cankles.

他就像灰姑娘一樣，不過祝他好運，能把玻璃鞋穿在腳踝上。

Now, then, after the dinner, after Windsor Castle, he gets to go to the Star Wars Experience and buy a custom lightsaber.

現在，在晚宴之後，在溫莎城堡之後，他可以去星球大戰體驗館買一把定製的光劍。

Now, the visit is officially to discuss trade, or as the White House put it, to highlight and renew the special relationship between the United States and the United Kingdom.

現在，這次訪問的正式目的是討論貿易問題，或者正如白宮所說，是為了強調和延續美國與英國之間的特殊關係。

Yes, the special relationship, which is hard to define, but I think it looks a little something like this.

是的，特殊關係，這很難界定，但我認為它看起來有點像這樣。

With this trip, and this particular trip to the...

With his trip to the UK, Trump gets a much needed break from the hard work of going after anyone who dares criticize him about anything.

通過這次英國之行，特朗普可以從對任何敢於責備他的人進行追責的艱苦工作中得到急需的休息。

We learned today that Trump filed a defamation lawsuit against the New York Times for $15 billion.

我們今天獲悉，特朗普對《紐約時報》提起誹謗訴訟，索賠 150 億美元。

But dollars, which explains why today's wordle was a-hole.

但美元，這就解釋了為什麼今天的 wordle 是 a-hole。

Trump is also using the horrifying assassination of Charlie Kirk to go after folks who disagree with him.

特朗普還利用暗殺查理-柯克（Charlie Kirk）這一駭人聽聞的事件來打擊那些與他意見相左的人。

Before the FBI even had a suspect, Trump blamed the radical left.

在聯邦調查局還沒有找到嫌疑人之前，特朗普就指責激進左派。

And since then, he and his allies have sought to link the murder without evidence to a coordinated left-wing terror movement funded by progressive and liberal charities.

從那時起，他和他的盟友們就試圖在沒有證據的情況下將這起謀殺案與由進步和自由派慈善機構資助的協調左翼恐怖運動聯繫起來。

Yeah, at this point, you have to assume that all charities are fronts for terror.

是的，在這一點上，你必須假設所有慈善機構都是恐怖活動的幌子。

And they try to get away without getting caught.

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這個艾美獎屬於你！| 特朗普童話般的英國之行 | 卡什-帕特爾的工作糟透了 (This Emmy Belongs To You! | Trump’s Fairy Tale Visit To England | Kash Patel Sucks At His Job)

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