You give and take equally.

付出與接受的應該一樣多。

One person's needs aren't met over another's.

一方的需求不應該讓另一方負荷不了。

Friends and partners are supposed to give you energy, lift you up when you're down, and want the best for you.

朋友和伴侶應該要給你力量，在低落時拉你一把並為你著想。

But sometimes we get into relationships that drain energy from us.

但我們有時候會陷入消耗精力的感情中。

These are toxic relationships and they can negatively affect all aspects of our lives.

那些就是有毒的人際關係，會為我們生活各個面向帶來負面的影響。

On this week's well cast, we're gonna show you how you can tell if you're even in a toxic relationship and then we're gonna help you extricate yourself from that unhealthy situation pronto.

本週，我們會告訴你如何分辨自己是否身處毒性關係中，然後幫助你盡快脫離那種不健康的環境。

Selfie 1 : Diagnose the relationship.

一、感情診斷。

How do you know if a friend or partner is bringing you down？

要怎麼知道你的朋友或另一半是不是在拖垮你？

Well, in much the same way that you know that you're coming down with a cold, toxic relationships come with symptoms.

跟感覺得到自己快感冒差不多，毒性關係也有徵兆。

When you're around this person, how do you feel?

跟這個人在一起時，你是什麼感覺？

Here are a few other questions you should ask yourself if you're thinking you might be in a toxic situation.

如果覺得自己可能身處於毒性關係之中，你應該問問自己以下幾個問題。

Does my friend put me down all the time?

我的朋友是否總是貶低我？

Are they jealous when I spend time with others ?

我跟別人相處時他們是否會嫉妒？

Do they constantly bring up parts of me that they wanna change ?

他們是否經常提起他們想要改變我的地方？

Do they take more than they give?

比起獲得的，他們的付出是否較少？

Am I only doing the things that they wanna do?

自己是否只做他們想做的事？

Selfie 2: Recognize your role in the relationship.

二、認清自己在一段感情中的角色。

As Eleanor Roosevelt said, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

正如愛蓮娜·羅斯福所說：「沒有人能讓你感到自卑，除非你允許他們這樣做」。

Alright, look, we know we got that from Princess Diaries, obviously—moving on...

好吧，這顯然是電影《麻雀變公主》的台詞，繼續往下看…

Listen, you have autonomy in every relationship in your life.

聽好了，你在人生中每段感情中都有自主權。

If your friend or partner is stealing your sunshine, you need to figure out what you're doing to allow them to do this.

如果你的朋友或另一半讓你不再開朗，你得搞清楚自己為什麼准許他們這麼做。

Are you being a doormat ?

你是不是太逆來順受了？

Are you putting this person's emotional needs ahead of your own health?

你是不是把這個人的情感需求看得比自己的健康還重？

Selfie 3: Start to build boundaries for this relationship.

三、開始劃清這段感情的界線。

Does your friend invite themself over at all hours of the night?

你的朋友總是不顧時間不請自來？

Are they constantly bossing you around ?

他是不是一直對你頤指氣使？

Are they always borrowing money from you?

是不是總是跟你借錢？

Alright, once you know the boundary that you wanna set, stick to it.

一旦認清想劃清的界線，就得堅持。

Draw your line in the sand.

把界線劃清楚。

Selfie 4: Recognize: You can't change other people, but you can stop being a doormat.

四、知道自己不能改變別人，但可以選擇不再任人宰割。

If you've determined that a friendship or a relationship is toxic, you know that you have to change the nature of that relationship.

如果你已經認定一段友誼或一段感情是有害的，就必須改變這段關係的狀態。

Start by spending less time with that person and do your best to detach yourself emotionally.

你可以開始減少跟這個人相處時間，然後盡全力抽離自己的情感。

Hopefully, setting boundaries will help you begin to phase this relationship out.

順利的話，劃清界線可以幫助你慢慢疏離這段感情。

Selfie 5: Get a second opinion.

五、詢求他人意見。

Especially if you're emotionally vulnerable, the best thing you can do is surround yourself with people who love you and who want you to be happy and healthy.

尤其在情感脆弱的時候，最好的方法就是和愛你、希望你健康快樂的人在一起。

Use them as a lifeline during this time.

把他們當作這段期間的救命繩。

Selfie 6: Above all else, look out for yourself.

六、最重要的是，照顧好自己。

Studies have shown that people with low self-esteem are far more likely to find themselves in toxic relationships.

研究顯示，對自己較沒自信的人較容易身陷於毒性關係中。

You will never be treated with love and respect unless you absolutely believe that you deserve these things.

除非你完全相信自己值得，否則永遠不會得到別人的愛與尊重。

Remember, you teach people how to treat you, so do yourself the favor of loving yourself.

記住，你對自己的方式會決定別人怎麼待你，所以幫自己個忙，好好愛自己吧！

That's the first step to any relationship.

那也是任何人際關係的第一步。

To recap, if you have diagnosed yourself as being in a toxic relationship, the first step is recognizing this, then recognizing your role in the relationship.

總之，如果發現自己身處毒性關係中，首先要意識到這件事，然後認清自己在這段關係中的角色。

Once you do this, you can start to set boundaries for this relationship and change the way you interact with this person.

接著，就可以開始劃清這段關係的界線，改變自己跟對方的相處方式。

To help, surround yourself with people who love you, and above all else, look out for yourself.

更進一步，多和愛你的人在一起，最重要的是好好照顧自己。

Ah, well, that's all for me today, wellcasters.

今天就先講到這裡囉，Ｗellcast 的觀眾們！

Would you do me a kindness? Subscribe to our channel.

可以幫我一個忙嗎？訂閱我們的頻道。

Sign up for our newsletter to receive sneak peaks and other awesome stuff.

訂閱我們的電子報以搶先接收其他精彩資訊。

See you later.

下次見！