I never understood that.

我一直不明白。

I never understood how there's so many.

我一直不明白怎麼會有這麼多。

My dad's always like, oh, it's because they're lazy.

我爸爸總是說，哦，那是因為他們懶。

And I just believed that, because that's what I was taught.

我就是相信這一點，因為我就是這麼被教導的。

But then as you grow, you start to pay bills every goddamn month.

但隨著年齡的增長，每個月都要付賬單。

And then your perspective change.

然後你的視角就會改變。

Now I'm like, how is there not more homeless people?

現在我想，怎麼會沒有更多無家可歸的人呢？

How are most of us not homeless?

我們大多數人為什麼不是無家可歸？

Because I Googled this, too. 70% of Americans have under $1,000 in their savings account.

因為我也在谷歌上搜索過這個問題。70%的美國人的儲蓄賬戶裡只有不到1000美元。

I was like, I did not know there's that many people have that much money.

我當時想，我不知道有那麼多人有那麼多錢。

I thought we're all just paying off credit card debt like regular human beings.

我以為我們都像普通人一樣還清信用卡債務。

I didn't know people got extra money that they didn't have to use.

我不知道人們還有多餘的錢不用。

And at this part, usually, it's a little tight, because you can't really laugh and give away your financial situation.

在這個環節，通常會有點緊張，因為你不能真的笑著洩露你的財務狀況。

Not me.

不是我。

I am rich.

我很有錢。

I am.

我就是

I pay for everything tonight.

今晚一切費用由我支付

Your perspective change.

你的視角會發生變化。

When I was a kid, my dad's always like, if you want to be successful, all you got to do is you got to work hard.

我小時候，爸爸總是說，如果你想成功，你要做的就是努力工作。

I believe that.

我相信這一點。

And that is true, probably, for him.

對他來說，可能也是如此。

But I'm like, well, everybody needs a little bit of luck.

但我想，每個人都需要一點運氣。

Everybody needs a little bit of luck to dodge these surprises that life gives all of us.

每個人都需要一點運氣來躲避生活給予我們的這些意外。

Everybody gets the life surprises.

每個人都會得到生活的驚喜。

Everybody gets it.

每個人都明白。

Oh, you're on your way to work, and you're tired, pop.

哦，你在上班的路上，你累了，老爹。

Life's like, boo, surprise.

生活就像，噓，驚喜。

And you're also fired.

你也被解僱了

Oh, you like doing stand-up comedy and be successful at it?

哦，你喜歡錶演單口相聲並取得成功？

Life's like, boo, surprise.

生活就像，噓，驚喜。

Pandemic.

大流行病

And you're also fired.

你也被解僱了

Your perspective change with new information, new experiences.

你的視角會隨著新資訊、新體驗而改變。

Never understood why there's so many homeless people as a kid.

我從小就不明白為什麼會有這麼多無家可歸的人。

Now, I'm like, dude, homeless people are just us regular, hardworking people that got too many surprises at once.

現在，我想，老兄，無家可歸的人只是我們這些普通的、勤勞的人，他們一下子得到了太多的驚喜。

Homeless people are just us people that hit the jackpot of surprises on accident.

無家可歸的人只是我們這些意外中了大獎的人。

You're like, oh my gosh, all for me?

你會想，天哪，都是為了我嗎？

I can't handle it.

我受不了了

What is this box of?

這盒子裡裝的是什麼？

A box of mental illness.

一盒精神病藥

How fancy.

真漂亮

I wonder who's it from.

不知道是誰送的。

Jesus Christ himself.

耶穌基督本人

I guess I can't return that.

我想我不能把它還回去了。

That would be rude.

那就太無禮了。

Dark statistic.

黑暗統計

With new information, experiences, your perspective change.

隨著新資訊、新經驗的出現，你的視角也會發生變化。

That's why I don't really have strong opinions.

這就是為什麼我沒有很強烈的意見。

This is kind of dark, so let's bring it up to a fun, happy statistic. 30,000 people die each year from guns.

這有點陰暗，所以讓我們來討論一個有趣、快樂的統計數據。每年有 3 萬人死於槍支。

Dark statistic.

黑暗統計

The happy one and fun one, the bright one, is that more than half of those 30,000 shot themselves.

令人高興和有趣的是，這 3 萬多人中有一半以上是開槍自殺的。

How positive is that?

這有多積極？

Only in America we get to see Jesus when we want to.

只有在美國，我們才能在想見耶穌的時候見到他。