Old Trump no longer keeping Americans in an existential frenzy, it falls upon us to agitate the public about the threat of progress.

老特朗普不再讓美國人處於生存的瘋狂之中，我們有責任煽動公眾對進步的威脅。

Time for culture, War speed, round First battle.

文化的時間，戰爭的速度，輪首戰。

The PC Shock troops busted into the Dr Seuss estate and forced them to independently decided to stop selling some books.

PC衝擊部隊闖入蘇斯博士莊園，迫使他們獨立決定停止銷售一些書籍。

If a private company decides to do something, it's government overreach for the government not to reach.

如果一傢俬人公司決定做某件事情，政府不伸手就是政府的越權行為。

And then stop this.

然後停止這個。

I mean, Disney Plus won't let kids watch cartoons with racial stereotypes.

我的意思是，迪斯尼加不會讓孩子們看有種族偏見的卡通片。

I mean, why they're putting the burden and made us subliminally communicate racial hierarchy.

我的意思是，他們為什麼要把負擔，讓我們潛移默化地傳達種族等級制度。

I mean, I'm busy benefiting from Rachel hierarchy.

我的意思是，我正忙著從瑞秋的等級制度中獲益。

The woke mob has also cancelled keeping one out of every seven kids in poverty by expanding the child tax credit.

醒目的暴發戶也取消了通過擴大兒童稅收抵免來保持每七個孩子中就有一個貧困的孩子。

I guess liberals accept people of color as long as the color isn't the dark circles around a hungry kindergartners eyes.

我想自由主義者接受有色人種，只要顏色不是飢餓的幼兒園眼圈的黑眼圈。

I was checking the top stories on up rocks, and there was an article listing the massive list of movies leaving Netflix by the end of the month.

我正在查看上巖的頭條新聞，有一篇文章列出了本月末離開Netflix的大量電影名單。

We must throw down our bodies at the doors of Netflix until they agreed not to remove the 2011 remake of Arthur Russell brand.

我們必須在Netflix的大門上扔下我們的身體，直到他們同意不刪除2011年翻拍的亞瑟羅素品牌。

Eight.

八號

Dudley Moore's lunch Let's pray to are not yet cancelled, but who knows White God that the woke samurai don't behead Hot takes cartoon smash called Epstein and Andrew about a spectral Jeff Epstein and his cherubic buddy Prince Andrew's Global High Jeans.

達德利-摩爾的午餐讓我們祈禱到都還沒有取消，但誰知道白神，醒目的武士不要斬首熱採取卡通粉碎稱為愛潑斯坦和安德魯關於一個幽靈傑夫-愛潑斯坦和他的小天使好友安德魯王子的全球高牛仔褲。

I'm sure they'll find something wrong with it.

我相信他們會發現一些問題的。

They don't wear seatbelts on the jet or some crap.

他們在飛機上不繫安全帶或一些廢話。

As Americans continue to sober up from the Super Bowl 32 days ago, our enemies are seizing this momentary confusion to floor it towards our southern border.

當美國人繼續從32天前的超級碗比賽中清醒過來時，我們的敵人正抓住這一時的混亂，將其向我們的南部邊境落地。

Here's Mike Pompeo stunt double Steve Scalise With the scoop.

這是Mike Pompeo的替身Steve Scalise帶來的獨家新聞。 Here's Mike Pompeo stunt double Steve Scalise with the scoop.

Today we're seeing three or 4000 illegal crossings a day at our southern border.

如今，我們在南部邊境每天都能看到三四千人非法越境。

It is a national crisis, and it needs to be confronted by President Biden.

這是一場國家危機，需要拜登總統來面對。

And he refuses to acknowledge is they're super spreader caravans coming across our southern border.

他拒絕承認他們是超級大篷車 越過我們的南部邊境。

You're listening.

你在聽我說

Biden.

拜登。

Immigrants are flooding into this country and stealing the job of super spreading covid away from Americans.

移民湧入這個國家，從美國人手中搶走了超級傳播科維德的工作。

Congresswoman, tell these immigrants that if they want to super spread in America, they need to do it the right way.

議員，告訴這些移民，如果他們想在美國超級傳播，他們需要用正確的方式。

Being in the blast zone of Rudy Giuliani, spittle and uh, puzzled by Republicans talking about super spreaders.

正在魯迪-朱利安尼的爆炸區，唾沫星子和呃，對共和黨人談論超級傳播者感到困惑。

They were the ones who, throughout the pandemic, at first refused to wear masks, then mocked the masks had group meetings.

他們是誰，在整個大流行中，一開始拒絕戴口罩，然後嘲笑口罩有小組會議。

Trump, of course, was himself a super spreader.

當然，特朗普本身就是一個超級傳播者。

The China virus comes from Mexico.

中國病毒來自墨西哥。

I've been saying Mexico is China for years and nobody believed May.

我說墨西哥是中國多年，沒人相信梅。

Now the wants to postpone spring break until 2022.

現在想把春假延後到2022年。

But spring break got us into this pandemic, and spring break is going to get us out of it.

但春假讓我們陷入了這場大瘟疫，而春假要讓我們擺脫這場瘟疫。

That's why we're humbly slamming this event into America's gonads.

所以我們才會謙虛地把這個事件砸向美國人的性腺。

Introducing the hot Take Spring Break Beach House in Galveston, Texas, the city where Robert Certs through a body in the water while dressed as a woman.

介紹了德克薩斯州加爾維斯頓市的熱拿春假海灘別墅，羅伯特-塞茨通過身體在水中，而打扮成一個女人。

We're talking beach volleyball with line umpire Bob Dole bobbing for loaded back tens.

我們正在談論沙灘排球，線裁判鮑勃-多爾為裝滿的後十號球搖旗吶喊。

Joe Rogan impersonator teaching jiu jitsu to everyone pissed.

喬-羅根模仿者教柔術，大家都很生氣。

They failed their stupid police officer exam and a Herman Cain memorial balcony collapse a thon.

他們沒能通過愚蠢的警官考試和赫爾曼-凱恩紀念館的陽臺坍塌了一個星期四。

Lie to your spouses and hijacked Coast Guard digging to the hot take spring break Beach house That all one statement, Yeah, pretty sure.

騙你的配偶和劫持海岸警衛隊 挖到熱採取春假海灘的房子 這一切的一個聲明，是的，相當肯定。

From as soon as I was born, I started talking, and then when I die, we'll see what the sentence I said was.

從我一出生，我就開始說話，然後等我死了，我們看看我說的那句話是什麼。

All right, I gotta go continue my mission to normalize the under the bathroom.

好吧，我得去繼續我的任務，使浴室下面的正常化。

Stall head Sheikh.

檔頭謝赫。

So let's wrap it out with I'm not done.

那就用我還沒說完來收尾吧。

Listen up.

聽好了

All you dorks in the scientific community need to stop screwing around and invent a waterproof chicken nugget.

你們這些科學界的蠢貨們就別再胡鬧了，發明一個防水的雞塊吧。

Already.

已經是了

I'm so sick of sprinting into the ocean in my jean shorts.

我很討厭穿著牛仔短褲衝進海里。

I wear swimming trunks only to find the chicken nuggets I keep in my back pocket are completely soaked money.

我穿上泳褲，卻發現放在後兜裡的雞塊完全被泡錢了。

You know, a lot of people are giving Meghan McCain a hard time about her complicated views on Meghan Merkle.

你知道，很多人都在給梅根-麥凱恩一個難題 關於她對梅根-默克爾的複雜看法。

Meghan McCain is not perfect, but who is?

梅根-麥凱恩並不完美，但誰是完美的呢？

That's why I will come to her defense in a special tomorrow night on Paramount Plus called a salute to inscrutable bullshit.

所以我會在明晚派拉蒙電視臺的特別節目中為她辯護，叫做《向不可捉摸的廢話致敬》。

Mhm.

嗯

Mhm.

嗯

Yeah.

是啊。