we are still in the middle of a pandemic,

我們仍然在流行病的中間。

and if that wasn't bad enough,

如果這還不夠糟糕，

now more contagious variants of COVID-19

現在更多的COVID-19變種的傳染性。

are popping up around the world.

正在世界各地出現。

So, as you can imagine, it's more important

所以，你可以想象，它是更重要的。

than ever to stay safe.

比以往任何時候都要保持安全。

Now, one of the easiest ways to do that

現在，一個最簡單的方法來做到這一點。

is by wearing a mask.

是通過戴上面具。

I know we've been talking about this for almost a year,

我知道我們已經討論這個問題快一年了。

but a lot of people still aren't doing it.

但很多人還是沒有做到。

You've got to wear a mask until we make it

你得戴上面具，直到我們成功了為止

all the way through this mess.

一路走來，經歷了這場混亂。

So, with that in mind, I'd like my audience

所以，考慮到這一點，我希望我的聽眾們

to set an example for the rest of the country.

為全國其他地區樹立榜樣。

Andy?

安迪？

I think it's a great idea.

我覺得這是個好主意。

I mean, it's a point that still needs to be made.

我的意思是，這一點還是要講的。

I agree 100%, Andy.

我100%同意，安迪。

So, if you're watching from home,

所以，如果你在家裡看。

that's right, I'm talking directly to you,

這是正確的，我直接和你說話。

go ahead and please put on a mask.

來吧，請戴上面具。

No, no, no, wait.

不，不，不，等等。

Where are you going?

你要去哪裡？

Come on back.

回來吧

(squeaking)

（吱吱）

I get it.

我明白了。

I know masks can be a little uncomfortable,

我知道口罩會讓人有點不舒服。

but it's for everyone's safety.

但這是為了大家的安全。

Okay, I see, you have asthma, huh?

好吧，我明白了，你有哮喘，是吧？

That's the idea?

這就是你的想法？

Doesn't matter.

無所謂了

Health officials say people with asthma

衛生官員說，哮喘病人

should wear face masks as well,

也應該戴上口罩。

so please, for all of our sakes, just put on a mask.

所以請你為了我們大家的利益，戴上面具吧。

Great, thank you.

太好了，謝謝你。

All right, let's do the show.

好吧，讓我們做節目。

This week, all eyes are on Washington D.C.

本週，所有的目光都集中在華盛頓特區。

as Congress prepares for a Senate,

在國會準備召開參議院。

what, what's the matter?

什麼，怎麼了？

Oh, your lenses are fogging up?

哦，你的鏡頭起霧了？

Just take off your glasses, yeah.

摘掉你的眼鏡，是的。

God, your eyesight is horrible.

天啊，你的視力真差

All right, put the glasses back on,

好了，把眼鏡戴上。

but then tuck your mask under your glasses, okay?

但是把你的面具塞到眼鏡下面，好嗎？

See? That's a little trick.

看到了嗎？這是個小把戲。

Anyway, the whole world is watching

總之，全世界都在看

to see if Congress will convict President Trump

看看國會是否會給特朗普總統定罪。

despite, I'm sorry, what is going on?

儘管，對不起，這是怎麼回事？

Have you been drinking?

你喝酒了嗎？

(squeaking)

（吱吱）

Don't lie to me, have you been drinking?

別騙我了，你是不是喝了酒？

(squeaking)

（吱吱）

Thought so.

我想也是。

I don't blame you, it's been a very stressful time,

我不怪你，這段時間壓力很大。

a lot of people are using alcohol to lower their anxiety.

很多人都在用酒精來降低他們的焦慮。

A lot of people are drinking to self medicate,

很多人喝酒是為了自我治療。

and it's a perfectly normal reaction to what,

這是一個完全正常的反應，以什麼，

wait, are you high too?

等等，你也是高？

Are you drunk and high?

你是不是喝多了，喝高了？

(laughter)

（笑聲）

No, no, sorry, I do not want a hit.

不，不，對不起，我不想打。

No, that's just not my thing, okay.

不，這不是我的事，好嗎。

All right, just take it easy, take it easy.

好了，別緊張，別緊張。

Just, what?

只是，什麼？

No, no, I love you too, no, I love you too, man.

不，不，我也愛你，不，我也愛你，夥計。

I love you too, yeah, your hands don't match,

我也愛你，是啊，你的手不匹配。

but I love you too.

但我也愛你

Just settle down, okay?

安頓下來，好嗎？

Just go back to your couch, just relax, okay?

回到你的沙發上，放鬆一下，好嗎？

Have a seat on the couch.

在沙發上坐下來。

I'm excited about tonight's show,

我對今晚的演出很興奮。

we have a great one tonight.

我們今晚有一個偉大的。

Mike Birbiglia is joining us, what?

Mike Birbiglia要加入我們，什麼？

No, no, no, no, just be careful, be careful.

不，不，不，不，小心點，小心點。

I don't want you to, no, no, no, don't...

我不想讓你，不，不，不，不要... ...

Hold it.

等一下

Don't pass out on me.

不要暈倒在我身上。

Don't pass out, okay?

別暈倒了，好嗎？

Just take it easy, just breathe.

放輕鬆，呼吸就好。

Keep the mask on, but breathe, deep breaths, all right?

戴上面罩，但呼吸，深呼吸，好嗎？

We'll take a break.

我們要休息一下。

When we come back, Mike Birbiglia is with us, stick around.

當我們回來的時候，Mike Birbiglia會和我們在一起，別走開。

(upbeat music)

(歡快的音樂)

God, you stink.

天啊，你真臭

Have you had a shower?

你洗過澡了嗎？

You can shower.

你可以洗澡。