Name: 如何馴服無情的內心批判者？ (How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic)
Uploaded: 2020-12-16T19:16:02.000Z
Duration: 5 min 21 s

程度副詞

A terrible problem that afflicts many of us is that we are almost permanently anxious,

困擾我們很多人的一個可怕的問題是，我們幾乎是永久性的焦慮。

self-critical, self-hating and afflicted by a sense that we don't deserve to exist.

自我批判，自我憎恨，被一種我們不值得存在的感覺所折磨。

我們絕對不夠好。永遠都不夠好

Psychology points us to a part of the mind termed our conscience, a faculty that

心理學指出，我們心靈的一部分被稱為我們的良知，這個功能是

keeps an eye on how well we are doing in relation to duty, to the demands of the world and to

密切關注我們在履行職責、滿足世界要求和滿足社會需求方面做得如何。

the regulation of our desires and appetites. Our conscience monitors how much effort we

我們的慾望和食慾的調節。我們的良知監控著我們的努力

are putting into our work, our ratio of relaxed rest to anxious labour. It's our conscience

正在投入到我們的工作中，我們放鬆的休息和焦慮的勞動的比例。這是我們的良心

that tells us when we've probably done enough gaming, dating or eating.

這告訴我們，當我們可能已經做了足夠的遊戲，約會或吃。

However useful this function may sound, for many of us, our conscience has grown very

無論這個功能聽起來多麼有用，對我們許多人來說，我們的良心已經變得非常重要。

unbalanced. Rather than occasionally gently nudging us towards virtue, it is permanently

不平衡。它不是偶爾輕輕地把我們推向美德，而是永久地把我們推向美德。

screaming, denigrating and attacking us for perceived failings: it tells us that nothing

尖叫、詆譭和攻擊我們，因為我們被認為是失敗的：它告訴我們，沒有任何東西

we do is ever good enough, that we have no right to take a holiday let alone an afternoon

我們做得再好，也沒有權利去度假，更沒有權利去享受一個下午的時間

off, that we have no business relaxing or enjoying ourselves - and that the worst is

我們沒有必要放鬆或享受自己，最壞的情況是...

coming to us because of our sinful nature. Anxiety and self-contempt are our default

因為我們的罪性而來到我們身邊。焦慮和自我蔑視是我們默認的。

It was Freud's simple but brilliant insight that our conscience is formed out

這是弗洛伊德簡單而又高明的見解，我們的良心是由以下幾點形成的

of the residue of the voices of our parents, in particular (usually) of our fathers. Freud

我們的父母，特別是（通常）我們父親的聲音的殘留。弗洛伊德

called the conscience the 'superego', and proposed that this faculty continues to

稱良知為 "超我"，並提出這種教員繼續。

speak within our minds as our father figures once spoke to us.

在我們的腦海裡說話，就像我們的父親形象曾經對我們說話一樣。

For the lucky ones among us, we had reasonable father figures and therefore our consciences

對於我們中的幸運兒來說，我們有一個合理的父親形象，是以我們的良知

are broadly benign. If we fail today, we can try again next time. If we're unpopular,

大致是良性的。如果今天失敗了，我們可以下次再試。如果我們不受歡迎。

we can be valuable anyway. We deserve a rest. Sex is allowed. Treats are part of life. We

我們可以是有價值的反正。我們應該休息一下。性是允許的。犒勞是生活的一部分。我們

can do nothing for a while. We're OK as we are. But for others among us, our conscience rehearses the worst lines of punitive parental

可以暫時什麼都不做。我們現在這樣就可以了。但對於我們中的其他人來說，我們的良心在排練最糟糕的父母懲罰性臺詞。

archetypes. When things go wrong, we swiftly conclude that it might be better if we killed

原型。當事情出錯的時候，我們迅速得出結論，如果我們殺了人，可能會更好

One of the steps we can take towards greater mental health is to realise, properly realise,

我們可以採取的一個步驟是認識到、正確認識到，以提高心理健康水準。

that this drama is going on inside us. It sounds strange to say, given the significance,

這場戲正在我們體內上演。這聽起來很奇怪，因為意義重大。

but usually, we have no clue; the self-criticism has become too familiar to be noticeable,

但通常情況下，我們沒有任何線索，自我批評已經太熟悉了，不容易被察覺。

it's just how things are and who we are. We can't draw a distinction between the

事情就是這樣，我們就是這樣的人。我們無法區分... ...

fierce inner critic and any other part of us.

激烈的內心批評者和我們的任何其他部分。

A crucial first move is therefore to learn to put some distance between ourselves and

是以，關鍵的第一步就是要學會在我們和我們的朋友之間保持一定的距離。

our conscience. We should see our conscience as a character. We should tell ourselves:

我們的良心。我們應該把自己的良心看作是一種品格。我們應該告訴自己。

I have a punishing inner critic and it's very unfair to me, it's even trying to kill

我有一個懲罰性的內心批判，它對我很不公平，它甚至想殺了我。

me. It is speaking to me, within me, but it isn't all I am: it's someone I sucked

我。它在對我說話，在我的內心，但它並不是我的全部：它是我吸過的人

in from childhood and might learn to expel from my mind in time.

從小到大，也許到時候會學會從我的腦海中驅逐。

We can then start to question the critic. Is it really fair to say that our lives are

我們就可以開始質疑批評者。是否真的公平地說，我們的生活是。

wholly worthless? We've messed up for sure, but do we really deserve no compassion and

一文不值？我們肯定是搞砸了，但我們真的不值得同情和...

no forgiveness? Is nothing about us in any way good? Would we ever think of treating

沒有寬恕？難道我們的一切都不是好的嗎？我們會不會想到對待

a friend (or even an enemy) the way we're treating ourselves?

朋友（甚至是敵人）的方式來對待自己？

We had no choice about who we had to listen to when we were little, but we do now

小時候我們沒有選擇聽誰的聲音，但現在我們有了選擇權

have agency. We can retrain our minds, by getting better spotting how they were indoctrinated

有機構。我們可以重新訓練我們的思想，通過更好地發現他們是如何被灌輸的。

in the first place. We have picked up some extremely cruel and questionable habits. No

首先。我們已經養成了一些極其殘忍和可疑的習慣。不

one needs to be hounded by a sense that they are excrement; this feeling has a past and

人需要被一種自己是排洩物的感覺所困擾，這種感覺是有過去的，而且

To retrain ourselves, we need other people: people who can love us and fill our minds

為了重新訓練自己，我們需要其他人：能夠愛我們的人，能夠充實我們的思想的人。

with other kinder perspectives. We need to dare to lean on them (not an easy move for

與其他更善良的觀點。我們要敢於向他們靠攏（這不是一個容易的舉動，對於

people who feel undeserving in the first place) and ask for their help in taming the nasty

的人），並要求他們幫助馴服討厭的

sound-track inside. We should stop trying to be brave about the inner attacks we host.

音軌裡面。我們應該不要再試圖勇敢地去面對自己所主持的內心攻擊。

We might explicitly say to others: 'you are here to help me with my inner critic,

我們可以明確地對別人說："你是來幫助我解決我內心的批評者的。

and to give me new perspectives on my self-punishment and despair.' We should at times get incensed

並給我新的視角來看待我的自我懲罰和絕望'。我們有時應該感到憤怒

that we have to live with such a critic, and question why our first impulse is so often

我們不得不忍受這樣的責備，並質疑為什麼我們的第一衝動往往是。

to forgive the critic and the parental figure who inspired it and blame ourselves for our

寬恕批評者和激發它的父母形象，並責怪我們自己。

We need to feel sorry for ourselves and annoyed with those who didn't know how to

我們要為自己感到惋惜，也要為那些不懂的人感到惱火。

show us tenderness. Of course, we occasionally need to upbraid ourselves and try harder;

向我們展示溫柔。當然，我們偶爾也需要自責，更加努力。

but the real achievement is to know how to remain gently and generously on our own side.

但真正的成就是懂得如何在我們自己的身邊保持溫柔大方。

字幕列表影片播放

如何馴服無情的內心批判者？ (How to Tame a Pitiless Inner Critic)

anxiety

crucial

perceive

mental