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  • One of the unfortunate downsides of making positive changes is that people around you sometimes get negative.

    其中一個做正向改變的不幸壞處是,你身邊的人可能會變得很負面。

  • It happens with people beginning new fitness regimens.

    可能發生在你開始健身計畫時。

  • It happens with people starting new businesses and it certainly happens with people who follow tips on this channel to become more charismatic, as they say, haters gonna hate.

    可能發生在你開始新的生意時,也一定會發生在你照著這支頻道變得更有魅力時,如同大家所說,憤世嫉俗的人就是看什麼都不順眼。

  • In this video, you're going to discover five tips to put haters in their place when they start chirping.

    在這支影片裡,你會學到五個技巧,在憤世嫉俗的人開始散播厭恨時,讓他們安靜。

  • First, when people start hating, ignore it.

    第一個,當他們開始散播厭恨時,無視他們。

  • You don't have to laugh at their point of jokes, you don't have to defend yourself or respond, and you don't even have to look at them.

    你不需要為他們開的玩笑而笑;你不需要捍衛自己或回應;你甚至不需要看他們。

  • Being ignored is one of the most powerful negative reinforcers and is often enough to get people to immediately change their behavior.

    被忽視是最強的負面強化方式之一,通常足以立刻改變人們的行為。

  • If you're one-on-one, you can just let an awkward silence sit and if you're in a group, just go right on talking to someone else who isn't hating.

    如果你們是一對一,你可以直接讓沈默尷尬地發生,如果你是在團體中,直接跟其他人講話就好了。

  • People who are critical are usually looking for some kind of reaction and when you ignore them, they're likely to drop it.

    批判性很強的人,通常都會尋求一些回應,當你無視他們時,他們有可能就此算了。

  • Second, when haters are passive-aggressive, act as if they're being genuine.

    第二,憤世嫉俗的人在被動攻擊時,你可以假裝他們很真誠。

  • So when you hear, "Nice sweater, bro," respond, "Thanks, I'm glad you like it."

    當你聽到「欸,這件毛衣不錯喔!」你可以這樣回應「謝啦。我很開心你喜歡。」

  • This can be confusing and it forces the person hating to actually say what they mean or to back down.

    這會讓那個人困惑,也會迫使那個人說出他真正想說的話,或就此罷手。

  • Either way, you will not have to deal with passive-aggression.

    無論如何,你就不用處理那個被動攻擊了。

  • Third, is for a special brand of passive-aggressiveness called "I could never do that."

    第三,是一種很特別的被動攻擊型態,叫做「我做不到欸。」

  • You tell someone that you're living off of ramen on your quest to save enough money to move to Nashville and hit it big in the country music scene and a reply saying, "Well, I could never live like that."

    你跟別人說你天天吃泡麵,存夠錢就可以搬到納什維爾,在鄉村音樂闖出一片天,那個人回應你:「呃,我做不到欸。」

  • Or you tell them your new fitness plan that cuts out all sugars and they say, "Well, I could never do that," and then they look at you like you're crazy.

    或是你告訴他們你新的健身計畫是去糖,他們就會說:「嗯,我做不到欸。」接著看著你,好像你是瘋子一樣。

  • Your response should be simple.

    你的回覆只要很簡單就好。

  • This: "it's a good thing that you make decisions for you and I get to make decisions for me because if the roles were reversed, it sounds like we both be really unhappy."

    像這樣:「你幫自己做決定,而我幫自己做決定是很好的,因為如果角色互換,我們可能都會很不快樂。」

  • Go back off immediately.

    他會立刻走開。

  • Fourth, when the criticism is coming from people close to you, a bit of vulnerability can go a long way.

    第四,當批評是來自你身邊的人,展示一點脆弱可能很有幫助。

  • "Resistance" is what compels most haters to continue.

    「抵抗」是讓大部份憤世嫉俗的人繼續散播厭恨的東西。

  • They'll tell you that you'll never be able to make it.

    他們會告訴你你永遠都做不到。

  • You say that you will for these reasons and then they tell you why those reasons aren't good enough.

    你說你會因為這些原因而做到,他們就會說那些原因還不夠好。

  • The cycle continues as long as the disagreement is about the facts.

    一直爭論事實的話,這個循環就會一直重複下去。

  • But if instead of arguing the facts, you share your values and your real concerns, you're likely to have more success.

    但如果你分享自己的價值觀和真正的考量,你就有可能成功打破循環。

  • So when someone close to you says: "Your business is going to fail," respond telling them that: "Yes, it might not work out but I love what I'm doing and I'm learning a lot."

    當你親近的人說「你的生意會失敗。」你可以這樣回覆:「對啊,可能不會成功,但我喜歡我現在做的事情,我也學到很多東西。」

  • Or when they say you should quit pursuing your goal as becoming more confident because it's not something they think you can learn, reply: "Confidence doesn't always come naturally to me so I have to work on it."

    或者他們說你應該放棄變得更有自信,因為他們覺得那不是能學得來的,你可以回應:「自信對我來說並非自然而然,所以我需要努力。」

  • "But I have seen some improvements and it had a really positive effect on how I feel."

    「但我已經看到一些進步,對我的感受有很棒的影響。」

  • "So I'm going to keep going."

    「所以我會繼續加油。」

  • People tend not to attack when you let them know the emotional reasons that you're working on something.

    當你讓人們知道你在做某件事的心理原因時,人們往往不會攻擊你。

  • Fifth, find a community.

    第五,找到一個群體。

  • A lot of the hate that we deal with comes from people close to us who don't want us to change.

    很多我們處理的厭恨,來自那些不希望我們改變的身邊的人。

  • They're invested in us staying the same even if it comes at the expense of our happiness and growth.

    他們習慣我們維持原樣,即使代價是我們的快樂與成長。

  • So to limit the pushback you receive, find groups that are into what you're into.

    為了讓你收到的阻力降到最低,可以找自己有興趣的團體。

  • Go hang out with illustrators who like to draw comics or wannabe comedians who practice improv at a local club.

    和喜歡畫漫畫的插畫家出去玩,或和想當喜劇演員的人在當地俱樂部練習即興表演。

  • There's a group for almost everything and you can find it if you Google your town plus the activity that you're into.

    幾乎每件事情都會有一個團體,只要搜尋你的城鎮加上你有興趣的活動,你就會找到了。

  • Meetup.com is also great for finding your tribe.

    Meetup.com 也可以讓你找到團體。

  • So there you have it, five tips for getting haters to disappear.

    你現在知道啦,五個讓憤世嫉俗的人消失的訣竅。

  • As you want to join a tribe that is very pro self-improvement, click the button here to subscribe to the channel.

    如果你想加入自我成長的團體,點這個按鈕訂閱此頻道。

  • You might even find some ways to improve that you didn't know you were interested in.

    你可能還會找到方法,增進你不知道你其實有興趣的東西。

One of the unfortunate downsides of making positive changes is that people around you sometimes get negative.

其中一個做正向改變的不幸壞處是,你身邊的人可能會變得很負面。

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