commiseration

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UK

A1 初級

n. (u.)不可數名詞憐憫；同情；追悼辭

The blind are too often objects of pity

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人生課題：關於我們又愛又恨的自尊心 (Self-Esteem)

05:37

人生課題：關於我們又愛又恨的自尊心 (Self-Esteem)

and a matter for particular commiseration and assistance
及需要他人的同情和幫助

迴應責備，接受現實 | Being Well 播客 (Responding to Criticism, and Accepting the Way Things Are | Being Well Podcast)

53:07

迴應責備，接受現實 | Being Well 播客 (Responding to Criticism, and Accepting the Way Things Are | Being Well Podcast)

How can I respond to it? What's useful in what they've had to say, which to me is the winner strategy for two reasons. One is, well, really three. One, it's moral because it takes care of other people. Two, it just resolves a negative interaction and prevents a similar one in the future. And third, it makes you feel good because you're walking in the light, you're being virtuous, you're taking the higher road. I don't always do that, but as the clock keeps ticking away, hopefully I start moving in that direction. One of the things that I've noticed is that you're really good at separating out the useful parts of a piece of feedback from the parts that are just causing you suffering. And maybe along the same lines, I've definitely really tried to walk through a process when I receive a complaint from somebody where I can manage my reactions around it in ways that are more useful. And that typically starts for me with just feeling my feelings and getting real about the fact that criticism hurts. And it's really natural and understandable to feel a little wince around it. And then from there, I try to filter out the emotional topspin from the other person, particularly if it's not somebody that I have a deep emotional relationship with. If it's just a person, like if I'm receiving a review through iTunes or something like that, or if I have somebody who's kind of a little bit more distant make a request of me. And I try to figure out what would they have said if I took out all of the spin and the intensity and the this, that. What's the actual instrumental communication inside of their complaint? And can I do something about that? Or is this person just looking for a little bit of emotional commiseration? And do they just want me to be like, oh, I see you and I hear you, and the seeing and the hearing is enough. And they're not really looking for something to change functionally. That's been really useful for me personally. In the deeper emotional relationships, like with my partner, it's been super helpful for me to try to go a layer down. This is not an example for me, but it's a very classic example. Hey Forrest, I want you to come home from work a little bit sooner. You're getting home so late. You're leaving me all these tasks. Oh my god, whatever it is. And that kind of classic heteronormative relationship function that you see a lot of the time. What the person is really communicating is about their loneliness, their valuing of the relationship with you, their desire to be more around you. And that communication is getting kind of lost sometimes in very understandable ways in a lot of other stuff that's just floating around the field. But the core, the heart of the communication is often really beautiful. And so if you can kind of go a layer down and try to see what the person really, really wants emotionally underneath everything else, that can be really powerful because then you can speak to that desire in a more effective way. Okay, but what about people who are actually not acting in good faith with their complaint? Sure, yeah, totally. Yeah, they're complaining to put themselves one up, to be to more power. They want to be the dominator and they're right, you're wrong, so forth. Or they're just trying to complain about X to divert you from your path toward Y. And they're bringing up a side issue or there's some kind of troll trying to spin you up to distract you.
我該如何迴應？他們說的話有什麼用？對我來說，這是制勝的策略，原因有兩個。其一，其實有三個原因。其一，這是道德之舉，因為它照顧到了他人。其二，它只是解決了一個負面的互動，並防止將來再發生類似的事情。第三，它讓你感覺良好，因為你在光明中前行，你是良善的，你在走更高的道路。我並不總是這樣做，但隨著時間的流逝，我希望自己能朝著這個方向前進。我注意到的一件事是，你很善於把反饋中有用的部分和給你帶來痛苦的部分區分開來。也許是同樣的道理，當我收到別人的抱怨時，我肯定會嘗試著去經歷一個過程，在這個過程中，我可以用更有用的

維納斯的吸血鬼--安東尼-佩爾徹。 (Vampires of Venus - Anthony Pelcher)

49:52

維納斯的吸血鬼--安東尼-佩爾徹。 (Vampires of Venus - Anthony Pelcher)

her own hand led the fat lat heifer. His eyes were filled with commiseration for the poor

schadenfreude有好處嗎？聽6分鐘英語 (Are there benefits to schadenfreude? Listen to 6 Minute English)

06:16

schadenfreude有好處嗎？聽6分鐘英語 (Are there benefits to schadenfreude? Listen to 6 Minute English)

The noun form is commiseration.

Does Jimmy Kimmel Have Beef with the Other Late Night Hosts? | Hart to Heart（Does Jimmy Kimmel Have Beef with the Other Late Night Hosts? | Hart to Heart）

03:50

Does Jimmy Kimmel Have Beef with the Other Late Night Hosts? | Hart to Heart（Does Jimmy Kimmel Have Beef with the Other Late Night Hosts? | Hart to Heart）

of a commiseration.

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE by William Shakespeare - FULL AudioBook | Greatest AudioBooks

26:45

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE by William Shakespeare - FULL AudioBook | Greatest AudioBooks

Enow to press a royal merchant down, And pluck commiseration of his state

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen Chapter 31-61, Audiobook with Subtitles

05:12

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen Chapter 31-61, Audiobook with Subtitles

of gentleness and commiseration, “Let me call your maid.

第4部--《傲慢與偏見》有聲讀物，簡-奧斯汀著（第41-50章）。 (Part 4 - Pride and Prejudice Audiobook by Jane Austen (Chs 41-50))

22:07

第4部--《傲慢與偏見》有聲讀物，簡-奧斯汀著（第41-50章）。 (Part 4 - Pride and Prejudice Audiobook by Jane Austen (Chs 41-50))

saying, in a tone of gentleness and commiseration, "Let me call your maid.