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  • Improvement Pill here.

    歡迎回到 Improvement Pill。

  • Today I have a special guest on the channel the author of international best-selling books "The Happiness Equation" and "The Book of Awesome", Neil Pasricha, and he's gonna talk to you about how to become tougher.

    今天誠摯邀請到全球暢銷書籍 《快樂是可以練習的》、《生命中的美好》的作者 Neil Pasricha ,他將分享如何擁有強大的內心。

  • Take it away, Neil.


  • In my late 20s my wife told me she didn't love me anymore and asked me for a divorce a few days later I lost one of my best friends from a suicide.

    在我 20 好幾時,我的前妻跟我坦承不再愛我且想離婚,更糟的是,幾天後我得知我的好友自殺了。

  • I was in complete shock and ended up losing a lot of weight suddenly due to stress.


  • People at work would ask me what's your secret is this keto and I'd say no it's just no food no sleep.


  • I had the raccoon eyes and dazed zombie look to prove it too.


  • My parents became very worried about me so they put me in touch with a therapist.


  • I had never seen a therapist before and I didn't want to start.


  • I thought they were for people with serious issues, real problems, but then when I started seeing one I basically bounced off the walls feeling great after each session.


  • Why?


  • Well, therapy helped because it allowed me to spill my thoughtsmy anxious thoughts, my bizarre thoughts, my wild thoughts whether they made sense or not.


  • And my body felt the high of that crystallization and elation, that mental orgasm.


  • The process helped me sort, clarify, and confirm my feelings and that ultimately helped me get tougher and move forward.


  • I gained confidence to move out on my own, eventually begin dating again and slowly after working through a ton of confidence and comparison issues meet someone new who I fell in love with.


  • Very few of us have any kind of practice, where we speak to a pro about her thoughts or where we do something really proactive to help ourselves process them.


  • Therapy is great, but it is very hard to access, I mean it's expensive and there are often cultural or social stigmas.


  • So, I developed a simple science-backed tool so that you can get many of the same benefits without having to go to therapy.


  • It's a two-minute morning practice that help stuff in your mind each day.

    只需要每天早上 2 分鐘的練習就能幫你整理思緒。

  • How does it work?


  • Every morning you grab an index card and write three prompts: "I will let go of...", "I am grateful for..." and "I will focus on...".


  • I do this every morning now.


  • So, for example, in a recent entry I wrote: I will let go of comparing myself to Tim Ferriss, I am grateful for the smell of wet leaves on my driveway, I will focus on writing a new chapter of my next book.

    舉我最近寫的例子,我寫道我會停止拿自己跟 Tim Ferriss 比較、我很感激路上的雨帶來的清香和我今天將專注於撰寫我的新書。

  • It takes only two minutes to do and it will help your mind toughen and ready itself up for the day.

    你一天只要花 2 分鐘就可以強化你的內心,使自己整理好情緒。

  • Why does it work?


  • Well, for the first prompt "I will let go of...".


  • Research published in Science magazine, by neuroscientist Stephanie Bryson and her colleagues, called Don't Look Back in Anger: Responsiveness to Missed Chances in Successful and non-Successful Aging, show that minimizing regrets as we age creates greater contentment and happiness.

    一個由神經科學家 Stephanie Bryson 和她的同事所做的「後悔與成功」研究中顯示,減少後悔的次數能大幅提升快樂程度。

  • The research also shows that holding on to regrets causes us to take more aggressive and risky actions in the future.


  • So, the strongest and happiest people are aware of regrets they harbor and then choose to let them go.


  • What does that mean?


  • Well, it means, crazy as it sounds, whenever we write out our little anxieties they disappear.


  • I have five pounds of blubber on my stomach, I'm worried about what school my kid will go to next year, I think I said the wrong thing in an important email yesterday.


  • Want to know what happens when I flip back in my journal weeks later?


  • Oh, I think to myself, what email was I worried about again?


  • I often can't even remember what the cause for concern was.


  • What about the big anxieties?


  • Say your mom is sick, gravely ill these may be her final days, will the two minute morning practice still help?

    假設你的母親生了重病,只剩下短短幾天,這個 2 分鐘練習會管用嗎?

  • Yes, it will because you're saying it, you're moving it, you're processing it.


  • You're admitting how you feel about it, so the heaviness can be examined and acknowledged.


  • For the second prompt "I am grateful for..."


  • Research by professors Robert Emmons and Michael McCullough show that if you write down five gratitudes a week you'll be measurably happier and even physically healthier over a 10-week period.

    專家 Robert Emmons 和 Michael McCullough 的實驗顯示只要你一週寫下 5 個讓你心存感激的事件,在經過 10 週後,你會變得更加快樂、健康。

  • You are really helping your brain build stronger neural pathways towards the positive rather than the negative places our minds naturally want to go.


  • And the more specific, the better.


  • Writing down family, food, and job or something similarly vague over and over doesn't actually cause any spike in happiness.


  • Take the example I just mentioned about your mom being gravely ill even, writing down gratitudes will force your brain to find little positives even amidst a bigger negative situation.


  • I got to read my mom the book she read to me when I was a kid, nurse Jasmine brought me a coffee, my kids all came home for the weekend for the first time this year.

    例如我唸了一本小時候母親常唸給我聽的故事書、Jasmine 護士今天買了一杯咖啡給我、我的孩子今年第一次回來探望我。

  • It's a simple practice that allows for a quick therapeutic strengthening and little moment of presence from our future focused minds.


  • And now, finally, the last prompt, what does "I will focus on..." help us do?


  • Well, one thing that causes anxiety is your gigantic could do or should do list that you face every morning.


  • The last prompt helps you strip away the endless lists of things you could do and focus instead on the thing you actually will do.


  • Why?


  • Because if you don't, you will mentally revisit your could-do list all day and that will only cause decision fatigue.


  • Decision-making uses a particularly complex part of the brain and we are wasting energy anytime we're unfocused.


  • As Florida State professor of psychology Roy Baumeister and New York Times journalist John Tierney said in the book "Willpower, Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength..."

    如同心理學家 Roy Baumeister 和紐約時報記者 John Tierney 在《抗拒誘惑的成功心理學》中說道...

  • Decision fatigue helps explain why ordinarily sensible people get angry at colleagues and families, splurge on clothes buy junk food at the supermarket and can't resist the dealer's offer to rust-proof their new car.


  • No matter how rational and high-minded you try to be you can't make decision after decision without paying a biological price.


  • it's different from ordinary physical fatigue you're not consciously aware of being tired, but you're low on mental energy.


  • The simple two-minute warning practice helps develop mental toughness right before you get out of bed.

    這個簡單的 2 分鐘早晨訓練能強化你的內心。

  • "I will let go of..." helps avoid revisiting a worry throughout the day.


  • "I am grateful for..." helps be more positive every day.


  • "I will focus on..." keeps your attention on a big goal.


  • Do this every day and I guarantee that you'll find that less things bother you.


  • Your mood becomes improved overall and you become tougher.


  • I hope you guys learned a lot today from Neal.

    我希望你們今天有從 Neal 身上學到些什麼。

  • The strategy he just shared is only one of nine powerful different concepts that he talks about in detail in his latest book "You are Awesome: How to Navigate Change Wrestle With Failure and Live an Intentional Life", which just came out.


  • I highly recommend you guys to check it out by clicking on the link in the description box below. Besides that guys, stay tuned.


Improvement Pill here.

歡迎回到 Improvement Pill。

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玻璃心 OUT!教你如何擁有強大的內心 (The Key To Becoming Mentally Tougher (ft. Neil Pasricha))

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    doris.lai 發佈於 2020 年 04 月 20 日