About four years ago, I was the guy who was incredibly awkward around girls.

大約四年前，我是那種非常不擅長和女生相處的人。

I remember I would always see these guys who seemed to be so naturally good with girls, and I really didn't understand what they were doing that was so different from what I was doing.

我記得常常看到有些男生似乎和女生相處得很自然，我完全不懂他們是怎麼做到的，為什麼和我跟女生相處時的樣子差距那麼大。

I didn't know what to say, how to say it. I didn't understand how to flirt, or even what flirting was.

我不知道該跟女生聊什麼，不知該怎麼表達。我不知道該怎麼調情，甚至不知道調情是什麼。

Whenever I saw a girl that I liked, I had this confused feeling right in my stomach where I just didn't know what to do.

每當我遇到喜歡的女孩，心中就有種複雜的感覺讓我手足無措。

About halfway through university, I started to watch people like Elliott Hulse, and I also started to read some self-help books.

大約是大二時，我開始看 Elliott Hulse 那類的影片，也看了幾本自我成長類的書籍。

And doing this exposed me to some very interesting ideas.

而這些讓我學到一個很有趣的理念。

The most interesting idea that I was exposed to was a very simple one, and it was you have the power to change things in your life.

我學到的有趣理念很簡單，那就是，人有能力改變自己的生活。

So I sat down at my desk, and I said out loud, "I am not happy with my dating life."

所以我坐在書桌前，並大聲說出：「我不滿意現在的約會。」

And then right after that, I said out loud, "but I can change this if I want to," and I recommend you do the same thing.

接著繼續大聲說：「但如果我想，我就有能力改變。」我建議你也可以這麼做。

Also around this time, YouTube pranks were very popular, and I would see these YouTubers go up and approach girls during the day,

那時，YouTube 上的整人影片非常熱門，我看到影片中的YouTuber在路上搭訕女生，

and they would say all these crazy things, and no matter what they said, it always seemed like they were able to attract the girl.

然後他們開始瞎扯蛋，而不管說什麼，似乎都可以吸引女生的注意。

So after I watched about 10 or 20 of these videos, I decided in that moment that I wanted to learn how to be that confident.

我看了大約 10 到 20 部這種影片後就馬上決定，我要學習擁有這般的自信。

So at this time, there was no way I was gonna be able to approach a beautiful girl during the day.

一開始，我根本不敢在路上搭訕漂亮的女孩。

I had to start off with something much, much, much smaller.

我要慢慢、慢慢、慢慢來。

So instead, was I would go out on the street, and I simply would ask people, "Hey. What time is it?"

所以，我就到街上問路人：「嘿，你知道現在幾點嗎？」

And they would reply, "It's 10 a.m..", and I would say, "Thank you."

他們會回：「現在是早上十點。」我就回：「謝謝。」

And believe it or not, at first this was a little bit difficult for me, which is honestly kind of depressing to admit, but it's the truth.

信不信由你，一開始，這對我來說有點難，我有點不好意思承認，但這是事實。

And I did this until I became 100% comfortable doing it.

我繼續問路人時間，直到自己感到完全自在。

And then after that, I would ask them, "How's your day going?"

接著我在後面加一句：「你今天過得怎麼樣？」

And then I would make more and more small talk.

接著我還會嘗試稍微閒聊一下。

I kept pushing myself outside of the comfort zone.

我不斷將自己推出舒適圈。

So for a couple months, I kept pushing myself more and more.

接下來的幾個月，我繼續把自己越來越往外推。

And then I woke up one day, and I decided that this was the day when I was going to approach a girl, and I was gonna say to her,

到了有一天我起床，我決定我那天就要去搭訕女孩，我要對她說：

"Hey, I thought you were attractive, and I just wanted to say hi, just like those YouTubers."

「嘿，我覺得妳很美，想和你打聲招呼，就像那些 YouTuber 一樣。」

So I left my apartment, and I told myself I was not allowed back into my apartment until I had approached someone.

我走出了房門，告訴自己除非搭訕到， 不然不能回家。

I left my apartment, and I started to walk around on the street.

我就離開了公寓，到路上閒晃。

And whenever I would see an attractive girl, I would make up some stupid excuse about how I could not approach her.

每當看到漂亮的女孩時，我就開始為自己找一些不能去搭訕她的爛藉口。

I would say stuff like she looks like she's in a hurry, she looks mean, she looks like she has a boyfriend, even though that makes absolutely no sense, she looks like she's about to get a phone call.

像是她看起來有急事要忙、她脾氣看起來不好、她看起來有男朋友了，即使毫無邏輯可言，她看起來等等要接電話。

Literally, any excuse that I could think of, I would tell myself, and then I would just wouldn't do it.

基本上就是告訴自己任何想得到的藉口，我就是無法突破障礙。

So five hours later, I am still wandering around the city, but I had made the commitment to myself that I could not return to my apartment until I did this.

五小時後，我還在街上閒晃，但我已經答應過自己除非搭訕到人，否則不准進房門一步。

I needed to honor this commitment, because I understood that these types of commitments are what make you succeed.

我一定要有實際行動，因為我知道行動是成功的要素。

I'm walking along the sidewalk watching the sun go down.

我走在人行道、看著夕陽西下。

I see this brunette girl walking ahead of me, and for whatever reason in that moment, I told myself it's either now or never.

看到前面有位深褐色頭髮的女孩，那時我也豁出去了，告訴自己：「機不可失，要就趁現在。」

You can either live your life like a wimp or go up and face your fears head-on.

要嘛當個孬種，要嘛面對恐懼。

So I run up to her, and I tap her on the shoulder, and then when she turned around, I realized that I had just approached one of the most beautiful girls that I had seen all day.

所以我跑向她，點了她的肩膀，而當她回頭時，我發現自己碰到了那天最美的女孩。

The first five minutes of the conversation were a bit awkward, but I pushed through it, and very quickly we both became very comfortable with one another, and we even talked for about 20 minutes.

前五分鐘的對話有點尷尬，但我繼續挑戰自己，很快我們就相處得非常自在，甚至聊了 20 分鐘。

I got her number, we hugged goodbye, and then I could finally return to my apartment.

我拿到她的手機號碼、擁抱說再見後我終於可以回家。

And when I returned to my apartment, I had such a tremendous feeling of accomplishment.

回到公寓後，我覺得很有成就感。

Because just months ago, the thought of approaching a girl during the day gave me so much anxiety to the point where I could physically feel knots in my stomach when I really imagined going up and approaching a girl during the day.

因為幾個月前，我還覺得在路上搭訕女生會讓我焦慮不安，光想到就讓我感覺胃裡真的打了好幾個結一樣不自在。

What are the takeaways of my story here?

所以這故事的重點是什麼？

There are five main things that you need to understand if you wanna overcome your social anxiety.

如果你想克服社交恐懼症，你要知道這五大點。

One, sit down and say out loud that you want to change.

一：坐下、大聲說出你想改變的事。

Two, say out loud that you have the power to change it.

二：大聲說出自己有改變的力量。

Three, set a goal of what you want to do.

三：設定一個想達成的目標。

For me, it was simply approach a beautiful girl during the day without having a heart attack.

像我的目標是，到路上搭訕漂亮女生，然後別把自己嚇死。

Four, start taking very, very small steps that push you a little outside of your comfort zone and closer to your goal.

四：一步一步、慢慢將自己推出舒適圈，逐漸往目標邁進。

And the fifth and final, most important step is constantly course correct your way there, meaning identify the things that you could do better and fix those things.

而最後，五：也是最重要的一環，就是不斷地往正確的方向前進，找出還有空間能夠改進的事然後解決。

A really easy example could be someone who's really afraid of public speaking, and to correct that, the best thing that that person can do is say something in front of one person.

以一個簡單的例子來說，有人不敢在大家面前說話，而要改變這件事，他最好先能在一個人面前說話。

Then talk in front of two people, three people, four people, and just keep increasing it, and do it until you're comfortable.

接著和兩個人說話、三個人四個人，並逐漸增加人數，直到可以自在地說話為止。

If you do this, it's pretty much impossible for you not to reach your goal.

這樣一來，一定可以達成目標。

But it will take time.

即使需要一點時間。

If you enjoyed this video, please share it on social media like Reddit or Twitter, as that really helps the channel grow.

如果你喜歡這部影片，請分享到社群網站上，像是 Reddit 或是 Twitter ，因為這可以增加本頻道的觀看人數ㄡ

Or just simply like the video.

或幫我點個讚都好。

Thanks for watching, and I'll see you in the next one.

謝謝大家觀看這部影片，下部影片再見。