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  • - Being here two years in a row now,

  • I feel like I've become somewhat of an expert

  • at everything comic book related.

  • (audience laughing) Don't laugh at that.

  • I was being serious.

  • (audience laughing)

  • - Really, an expert?

  • - Yeah, no, absolutely.

  • When it comes to comic books, superhero movies,

  • sci-fi, fantasy, all things Comic-Con,

  • there is literally no bigger expert

  • than this big hunk sittin' right here,

  • I'm telling you right now.

  • I really believe that.

  • - All right, well-- - [Conan] I believe that!

  • - Well, then you should have no problem

  • passing the just invented Comic-Con Citizenship Test,

  • administered by the director of a little independent film

  • called Star Wars the Force Awakens,

  • JJ Abrams!

  • (audience cheering) (imperial marching music)

  • - Wow!

  • - Thank you.

  • Wow!

  • That is amazing!

  • (cheering)

  • - That's--

  • - Unbelievable! - [Conan] It's pretty nice!

  • - This is crazy.

  • - Pretty nice. I can't believe you're doing this.

  • You're going to administer, this is crazy!

  • - Oh please, you know, you might know a few things

  • about comic books and movies,

  • but your training's not yet complete.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Are you ready?

  • - JJ, let's do this.

  • I think I'm ready for this,

  • and I think I'm gonna do a great job.

  • (audience cheering)

  • - All right, here we go.

  • What class, thanks. - [Andy] Mm-hmm.

  • - What class of star ship is the Millennium Falcon?

  • - Oh come on, that's easy.

  • A Corellian YT-1300 light freighter.

  • (dinging) - Yes.

  • (audience cheering)

  • In the Lord of the Rings trilogy,

  • what city is the capital of Gondor?

  • - Minas Tirith.

  • Come on. (dinging)

  • - Who is the star of both Guardians of the Galazy

  • and Jurassic World?

  • - CGI. - [JJ] Yes.

  • (audience laughing)

  • - What is Vin Diesel's real name?

  • - Truck Lasertank.

  • (dinging) (audience laughing)

  • - What two movies preceded Star Trek Beyond?

  • - Star Trek Bed and Star Trek Bath.

  • - Yes. (dinging)

  • (audience laughing)

  • Complete this sentence, "Batman and--"

  • - Robin. (dinging)

  • - Spider-Man and--

  • - Mary Jane. (dinging)

  • - Ant-Man and--

  • - Anyone willing to hang out with Ant-Man.

  • (dinging) - Yes.

  • (audience laughing)

  • Which 2015 sci-fi film warned us what could happen

  • if beautiful robots gained too much power?

  • - The Entourage movie. (dinging)

  • (audience laughing)

  • - If there's something weird and it don't look good,

  • who you gonna call?

  • - My dermatologist.

  • (dinging) (audience laughing)

  • - Name the big, angry comic book character

  • who looks like he's made of orange rocks.

  • - Donald Trump.

  • (dinging) - Yes.

  • (audience cheering)

  • What happens to the male sex drive as one ages?

  • - The force a'weakens.

  • (dinging) (audience laughing)

  • - Deadpool is--

  • - A mercenary with superhuman healing factor.

  • (dinging)

  • - Deadpool is also--

  • - The swimming venue at the Rio Olympics.

  • (dinging) - Yes.

  • (audience laughing)

  • (audience groaning)

  • (Andy laughing)

  • - [Andy] We got a pro-Zika crowd here.

  • - What do you call Joss Whedon doing yard work?

  • - Joss Whedon weedin'.

  • (dinging) (audience laughing)

  • - What are Spock's famous last words

  • in Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan?

  • - See you on the flippity, my funky friend.

  • (dinging) (audience laughing)

  • - How do you kill a troll?

  • - Take away his internet access.

  • (dinging) (audience laughing)

  • (audience cheering)

  • - Name three fictional doctors.

  • - Doctor Doom, Doctor Octopus, and Doctor Phil.

  • (dinging) (audience laughing)

  • - In the Harry Potter novels,

  • what is the recipe for Polyjuice Potion?

  • - Okay, recipe for Polyjuice Potion.

  • Step one, add three measures of fluxweed to the cauldron.

  • Step two, add two bundles of knotgrass

  • then stir three times clockwise, wave your hand.

  • Let it brew for 80 minutes,

  • then add four leaches, then two scoops of lacewing flies

  • that have been crushed into a fine powder, if you will.

  • Simmer for 30 seconds on low heat, wave your hand again.

  • Then three measures of Boomslang skin,

  • one measure of crushed bicorn horn,

  • heat for 20 more minutes.

  • Wave your hand a second time, let it brew for 24 hours,

  • then add another scoop of lacewing.

  • Stir three times anti-clockwise,

  • then add the piece of the person you wish to become

  • and wave your hand one last time.

  • Boom, Polyjuice potion.

  • (dinging) (audience cheering)

  • - Uh, and finally,

  • my stopping by to administer this test was--

  • - A complete waste of your time.

  • - Yes. (dinging)

  • (laughing)

  • (audience cheering)

  • - Let's hear it for JJ Abrams, everybody!

  • (audience cheering)

  • That was great.

- Being here two years in a row now,

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CONAN (CONAN)

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    LogAn 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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