基督教會的小品｜"警察拜年" (Short Sketch From the Christian Church | "The Police Pay a New Year Visit" )

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Happy New Year everyone!
My name is Old Zheng. This year I'm 69.
I've believed in the Lord, and lived to see good times.
I've accepted Almighty God's work in the last days,
and salvation would soon be mine!
But there's just one thing, something always on my mind.
Practically every day, at random times,
the CCP police barge right into my home.
It's like when a toad jumps onto your foot— it doesn't bite,
but it's still disgusting!
Today is New Year's Eve.
So I'll take advantage of this time and read God's words with the children.
This really is such a joy!
Tiantian?
Tiantian?
I'm here, I'm right here, Grandpa!
Come and read God's words with your Grandpa.
Sure.
Dad, have some water.
Dad, don't interrupt!
Grandpa and I are going to read God's words.
OK, OK. Let's read them together.
Mom, (Yes?)
didn't Xuemin say she was coming home today?
Look at the time. Why isn't she here yet?
Oh, don't worry.
You can never tell when she'll arrive.
She'll be back maybe very soon.
Well, we're kept waiting to eat!
Hey, I'm back!
Look, Dad, Xuemin is back. (Oh! Auntie is back!)
Hey, Tiantian. Hey!
Here, take this. I have a red envelope for you!
Thank you, Auntie! (Here, brother, take this to the kitchen.)
Your being here is enough.
You didn't need to buy more food. (Such a big red envelope!)
Oh it's nothing!
Dad, are you reading God's words?
Yes.
And Mom?
She's making dumplings with your sister-in-law. (OK, I'll go help.)
Auntie! (Okay, go help them!)
You're so stingy! (Go sit down and rest for a bit.)
What's up, Tiantian?
Here it is!
Oh, you!
You're just teasing her.
Take this and go and read God's words with Grandpa!
Damn, nearly got run off by the dog.
Tidy yourself up, we represent the Party and the nation!
Hey, Zhu.
Our superiors arranged for us to keep an eye on these believers.
They make us come out to Old Zheng's house at New Year's Eve.
What can doing this unpleasant job get us?
Let me tell you,
keeping an eye on these believers is not a fruitless task.
Oh?
Coming today to Old Zheng's house, you just stick with me,
watch and you'll learn a lot!
OK, great. I'll watch you then!
This way, please.
You're a promising guy!
Zheng Xinming!
Who's there?
Wait, wait, wait!
Auntie, there's things we have to do before opening the door. (Hide the book!)
Grandpa, hide the book! (Yeah, hided.)
Zheng Xinming!
Is it hidden?
Dad, open the door!
Who's there?
Hey, it's me, Zhu.
Oh, it's Officer Zhu.
Aren't you taking a break at New Year's Eve?
Oh! We don't count it as a hardship or fatigue
so long as you can enjoy a peaceful New Year!
Zheng Xinming!
Zheng Xinming!
Keep it down.
My Grandpa doesn't hear well.
He can't even hear the dog bark.
Deaf? Can't hear?
Zheng Xinming!
What are you mumbling?
What brings you out on New Year's Eve?
Well, we've come to see you.
What? Come to harass us?
He said that we've come to see you!
Yeah!
This really is harassment.
They come here practically every day.
Well, this is new!
Your name?
Well, my name? I'm Wang.
You say you're Gang?
Not Wang, it's Gang!
No, that's not right.
I'm Wang, Wang, Wang, Wang, Wang!
Hey!
You are learning to mimic animals this New Year's Eve?
You sound like a dog barking!
Are you messing with me?
I'm a tiger, but you're treating me like I'm Hello Kitty!
You always talk about civilized law enforcement. Is this a civilized way to treat an old man?
Watch me, we can play it smart.
Dad, sit here.
Well, we have quite a lot to talk about today with you.
How about we all sit down and have a chat?
That's my seat.
Come on, Uncle Zheng, don't be so unhappy!
It's because you believe in God that we have to come here. (That's right!)
We're just following orders, that's all it is.
And besides, the police and the community are one family.
And haven't I visited you these past few years more often than your own daughter?
Haven't I?
Oh, so you're just here to visit us?
Hey, don't talk rubbish!
We figured out your family long, long ago. You hear?
We just don't …
… have any evidence.
In society there's wining, dining, whoring, and gambling,
doing drugs, cheating, swindling and stealing.
You police have a lot to deal with.
Yeah. You're most welcome!
And with all this going on, you send two officers to visit an old man like me.
I'm feeling extremely special!
Well, whatever you say,
today we two just thought you deserved a New Year visit.
Oh, Officer Zhu.
You come with a very unusual present for our New Year!
Yes, it is pretty unique.
Tell us what you want with my father.
Well, nothing else really.
We just came to show you all our Party's concern for you.
That's right.
Just checking in, seeing how things are going.
Have you been to any meetings lately, or been spreading the gospel?
Have any strangers been visiting at your house?
Have you been in contact with anyone involved in Eastern Lightning?
If you have, report it to the government!
Officer Zhu,
you have installed such a big surveillance camera downstairs.
Monitoring 24 hours a day.
So whoever comes and goes, you …
Dad, don't get angry. (Don't be angry.)
Aren't you clear?
Don't get angry.
No need to tell me that.
We're just conducting routine business!
Right!
Routine?
Ever since you found out my husband believed in God,
we haven't been left alone for one single day of peace.
He was arrested during the Cultural Revolution,
sentenced, imprisoned, and released.
And here you come harassing us almost every day!
If you're not checking up on us, you're asking questions.
Monitoring and following us, not letting us believe in God.
To the point where you even come to our home at New Year's Eve of all times!
We can't even eat, we can't sleep,
being harassed every day.
You tell me, who could put up with this?!
Who would— (Cut it out!)
Believing in God in China is against the Communist Party,
and it's illegal!
Hey, you!
Hey, it's New Year's Eve. No need for that.
Mom, sit down.
Look, Uncle, Auntie, don't get so excited.
The main reason for coming today is so we can tell you:
Because The Church of Almighty God has grown fast.
It's gained such momentum with such an impact!
It's already spread throughout China.
It's even expanded into the West!
That's right!
And so, the central government
is making greater and greater efforts to fight Eastern Lightning!
We can show no lenience
when we find someone believing in Eastern Lightning!
Their lives mean absolutely nothing to us!
Well, Uncle Zheng,
because you believed in God,
you were sentenced and did prison time.
So you must know the government's attitude toward religious belief better than even we do ourselves.
That's right.
So, if anyone suspicious comes over to your house,
you must give me a call right away, right?
Did you hear?
That's it for today. We're leaving.
Hey, come on Zhu, let me get the door. (Sure.)
It's New Year's Eve, no need to stand on ceremony, or see us off!
Awkward.
Dad, don't get angry.
It's so annoying!
We can't even get any peace at New Year's Eve.
Look, aren't they harassing us?
Grandpa, tell us,
God is so good, so why won't the police let us believe in Him?
Yes, why?
In spite of her age, Tiantian asks a very good question.
Remember that Almighty God says:
These words of God are apt.
The great red dragon is the enemy of God. It hates God.
So it also hates us Christians and persecutes us.
God's wisdom is at work here as well.
By means of the CCP government's savage oppression and persecution,
and the resistance of the religious world,
God tests us, and perfects our faith.
Through this, He turns us into overcomers.
God working in this way has such deep meaning.
In this great tribulation,
the wheat shall be separated from the tares, the sheep from the goats.
Who truly believes, and who pretends to believe,
who is timid, and who truly wants God all will be revealed.
Mankind will be divided each to their own kind.
Does this not reveal God's wisdom and almightiness,
as well as His wondrous deeds?
It does.
God's wisdom is worked based on the cunning schemes of Satan!
Oh, Dad, your fellowship has made me realize what it's all about.
My heart is much brightened. (Thanks be to God!)
Dad, let's sit and talk. (Come, let's sit and talk. Right here. Come on.)
We must read God's words some more.
Yes.
Wow, this New Year's Eve is so cold!
Hey, now, hold on, hang on, hang on, Zhu.
Hey, now, Zhu, are we really done already?
We haven't gotten anything this New Year's Eve.
And we've had to come up with 50 yuan for gas money.
We certainly can't leave like this.
Let me tell you, we are the people's police.
Yes!
This money for gas and for New Year must all come from the people, I tell you!
How do we get it?
Listen up.
Remember?
When we go inside,
tell me straight away if you find anything odd or suspicious.
Oh, Zhu, that's so clever!
Trust you to come up with that.
Right? Old Zheng, I'm not through with you yet.
Hurry! Hide it! …
Coming!
Who is it?
Fire inspection.
Why is a fire inspection happening at New Year's Eve?
Oh no, not you again! (Surprised? Happy to see us?)
Surprised, yes. Happy, no.
If you have anything to say, then you can say it here. (Come on.)
Well, we forgot something earlier.
Yes.
Fires have been happening very frequently this year!
This New Year, we have to check the fire safety of every household.
In particular, we have to search every nook and cranny,
and every corner and every wall.
For your own safety, of course.
Therefore, we simply must conduct a very careful check.
Stop! What is this?
Hey, Zhu! Zhu! Zhu! Look here!
You've found some evidence?
Bingo! Yes, I have it!
Happy New Year, Old Zheng!
Have I got a New Year's gift for you today!
Zhu, come see.
Blue and white porcelain, it's worth a pretty penny!
Blue and white porcelain?! That's the evidence you'll take?
Damn it, I can handle any adversary
but not having an idiot for a partner!
Look, Zhu.
Blue and white porcelain, it's an antique!
We've been to so many houses, but only this one has the goods!
It's worth a lot!
Antique?
Oh, you mentioning antiques has made me think of something.
Xiao Wang.
Yes?
Tell me, wasn't the museum burgled recently?
The museum? No it wasn't!
Didn't they lose a vase like this one?
Oh, yeah! You're right!
That is the stolen antique!
This is a family heirloom. (Yes, it is.)
Heirloom?
Then maybe it was stolen by your ancestors!
Take it and make sure!
You!
Hey!
About you believing in God,
I won't report you to my superiors today.
Happy New Year!
How can you …
Hey, how can you …
This is just beyond the pale!
This is blatant robbery!
They're a band of bandits!
A bunch of robbers! (Dad, what can we do?)
Hey, now, Zhu.
This wasn't a wasted visit at all!
Oh, we're decorating our house now.
My wife says the living room could do with something like this.
Where do you think I should put it?
Oh, Zhu,
anywhere in your house will look good, naturally.
You have a good eye!
Now if only I had another one to make a pair.
However, let me tell you this …
Hey, now, what's up?
Oh, Zhu,
are we just gonna leave like this?
Leaving like this?
These common people are like sesame seeds.
The more you squeeze them, the more oil comes out.
And besides,
the nation's attitude toward believers in God is that any treatment is acceptable.
Old Zheng has been godized.
And we just need to find some conclusive evidence!
Never mind blue and white porcelain,
everything in their home belongs to us!
So then, Zhu, let's hurry back in there.
Well, if we go back, we have to find some evidence.
Let's change tactics.
So then how should we do it?
Come here.
It's so cold, what are you doing?
Let me tell you.
Change clothes and get into their house.
Once you find the evidence, call me immediately.
As soon as I get your call, I'll rush in, we'll apprehend them together!
You get it?
Oh, Zhu!
I'll do a really good job this time!
Just don't mess it up!
Yes, I certainly will!
I mean, No, I won't, I won't.
Rest assured!
The true way has always been persecuted!
Our home was raided during the Cultural Revolution.
They nearly tortured me to death!
But haven't we made it through by relying on God?
Yes, we have.
This means nothing.
These things are all worldly things.
We should be content with food and clothes.
And now we are able to accept God's salvation of the last days.
And isn't that a priceless treasure?
Come on, forget it.
Let's continue reading God's words.
You carry on reading.
Children, I'm going to make dumplings for you. (OK. Yes.)
Let's make dumplings. (Go, go, go!)
Here follows a rundown of the current news in brief:
Recently, there have been many cases of suspicious people
pretending to be company employees checking water meters and gas mains,
entering homes in broad daylight and robbing them.
Please could everyone be more vigilant, and take precautions against this.
There are more and more of these fraudsters!
And the police don't care.
They're always doing things without conscience!
That's right. It's so true, Mom.
Once, the bandits were deep in the mountains.
Now the bandits are in the police.
With no difference between police and bandits, who arrests whom?
That's the truth. We've seen two bandits today!
Son, keep reading God's words.
OK.
Don't worry.
Keep reading God's words.
OK.
Who's there?
Who is it?
Uh, here to check the gas main!
Hurry, hurry!
What's happening today?
Wait a second!
No problem.
Ah, you're in.
Yes, please come in.
Ah, you're all in.
Don't mind me. Carry on.
Where is it?
Hey! The gas pipes are there.
Oh, thank you!
Where is it?
Brother, something about him doesn't look right.
The more I look at him, (Where is the book?)
the more he seems like one of those robbers on the news.
Look at him, creeping about.
Go test him.
Thief!
You're a thief!
Don't move! Don't go anywhere. (Tiantian, hurry here!)
You come to steal from us at New Year's Eve! (Grandpa, quickly, call the police!)
Call that one named Zhu.
That guy normally doesn't do anything good,
but today he will actually be of some use! (Yes.)
Oh, great, it's worked!
The book! Where's the book?
Zhu, Zhu, help me.
What Zhu are you talking about? You wastrel!
Uncle, hand this thief over to me.
Your family has done a great service!
Zhu, no, it's me.
Stop saying Zhu!
You wastrel! You're getting on my nerves … (Hey, you!)
Dad, he …
Hey, Grandpa, wasn't that thief the policeman who was here earlier?
What a world!
Dad, these police come again and again to harass us.
I see it clearly now.
The CCP really is so despicable, so wicked!
The police are so hateful!
It's hard to believe in God in China!
It is!
Seeing the CCP's wickedness,
it inspires our resolve even more to believe in God and pursue the truth.
And this is proof
that we are right to walk the path of belief in God!
That's right.
You see, children,
no matter how hard the road, we must follow God to the end!
That's right!
No matter how hard the road, we must follow God to the end!