Name: 多久沒和老朋友敘敘舊了？老朋友能夠帶你重回最初的自己！ (Why Old Friends Matter)
Uploaded: 2021-03-24T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 4 min 48 s

There are people we are friends with for one major but often maligned or overlooked reason:

我們和有些人之所以是朋友的主因常被詆毀或忽略：

轉承詞

because we were friends with them some time ago. At one stage, it might be decades ago now,

因為這些人曾經是我們的好朋友。人生的某個階段，可能是幾十年前，

we had a lot in common: we were both good at Maths but bad at French at school

我們有許多共同點：上學時擅長數學卻不擅長法文

and had a shared liking for table tennis; or we had adjacent rooms at college

或是都喜歡打桌球；又或者在大學宿舍中是鄰居，

and used to help each other with assignments and commiserate in the bar about failed dates or maddening parents;

我們會互相幫忙做作業，或在酒吧裡一起抱怨失敗的約會和令人抓狂的父母；

or maybe we were interns in the same big firm with the same (as we thought at the time)

也可能我們在同一間公司當實習生，而我們的直屬上司(當時是這麼想的)

bizarre and intemperate boss. But life has taken us on radically different courses.

古怪、脾氣又差。但後來，人生將我們帶往截然不同的道路。

Now, they've got three young children; they moved to the Orkneys where they are managing a fish farm;

現在他們已有三個小孩，搬到了奧克尼島並在那經營養魚場；

or they've gone into politics and have become a junior minister;

或是他們踏入政壇，成為菜鳥部長；

or they're working as a ski teacher in the Rocky Mountains. The daily realities of our lives may be miles apart;

又或者他們在洛磯山脈當滑雪教練。我們彼此的人生已經相差了十萬八千里；

we may know little of their world and they of ours. If we were introduced today,

我們對彼此的生活知道的少之又少。如果我們現在才認識，

we'd think each other pleasant enough but would never get close.

也許我們會對彼此有好感，卻不可能變熟。

Yet it can be hugely helpful and very redemptive to catch up with these people, with a one-on-one dinner,

但是跟老朋友敘舊，無論是一對一的晚餐約會、

a walk in the woods or the occasional email. These friends function as conduits to earlier versions of ourselves

在林間散步或偶爾的 email往來，或許對我們有幫助、有療癒效果。這些朋友就像我們回到過去的管道，

that are inaccessible day-to-day but that contain hugely important insights.

讓我們重返無法回朔的青春年華。

In the company of the old friend, we take stock of the journey we have travelled.

跟老朋友敘舊時，我們一起回顧了曾經走過的歲月。

We get to see how we have evolved, what was once painful, what mattered

我們可以檢視我們的成長與轉變，緬懷曾經讓我們痛苦的、對我們重要的事情，

or what we have wholly forgotten we deeply enjoyed.

或是曾經很喜歡卻遺忘的事情。

The old friend is a guardian of memories on which we might otherwise have a damagingly tenuous hold. We need old friends because of a crucial complexity in human nature.

老朋友替我們守護脆弱易逝的回憶。因為人性天生的複雜性，我們需要老朋友。

We pass through stages of development and as we do so,

當我們成長、跨越不同的發展階段時，

we discard previous concerns and develop a lack of empathy around past perspectives.

我們容易拋棄過往的觀點並逐漸缺乏對過去經歷的同理心。

At fourteen, we knew a lot about resenting our parents. Twenty years later, the whole idea sounds absurd and ungrateful.

14歲時，我們總覺得父母很討人厭；20年過後，這整個想法卻顯得荒唐、忘恩負義。

Yet the old friend reconnects us with a particular atmosphere

但老朋友將我們帶回某個特定的時空背景，

and like a novelist, makes us at home with a character, ourselves,

像小說家一樣，幫助我們熟悉「自己」這號人物，

who might otherwise have seemed impossibly alien to us. At twenty-two, we found single life extremely painful.

我們可能對自己可能感到異常陌生。 22 歲時，我們覺得單身很痛苦。

We hung out a lot with a particular friend and shared a litany of wistful, alienated thoughts.

我們常跟特定的朋友出去玩，排解傷感、淒涼的情緒。

At forty-five, with a young family around us, we may find ourselves increasingly curious about being single again

45 歲時，我們投入家庭生活一段時間了，我們可能開始想念單身生活

and fantasize about the joys of casual hook-ups. The old friend has crucial news to impart.

並幻想偶爾被搭訕的樂趣。老朋友有重要消息要分享。

We experience life from a succession of very different vantage points over the decades,

幾十年以來，我們歷經許多身分的轉換，

but we tend, understandably, to be preoccupied only with the present vista,

但可以理解的是我們通常只專注於現況，

forgetting the particular, incomplete but still crucial wisdom contained in earlier phases.

而忘了早期形塑我們人格的重要特質與觀點。

Every age possesses a superior kind of knowledge in some area or other,

每個年齡層了解和擅長的領域都不同，

which it then, usually, forgets to hand on to succeeding selves.

但通常會忘了將其傳授給未來的自己。

Remembering what it was like not to be who we are now is vital to our growth and integrity.

回想起過去的自己是我們成長不可或缺的養分。

The best professors remain friends with their past. They remember what it was like not to know about their special topic

傑出的教授們與當年的同窗為伍。他們記得以前也不懂現在擅長的專業，

and so don't talk over the heads of their students.

所以在學生面前不會高談闊論。

The best bosses are in touch with their own experience of starting out as a lowly employee;

傑出的上司會記得他們當初也是從基層做起；

the best politicians clearly recall periods in their lives when they held very different views to the ones they have now formulated,

傑出的政治家肯定記得當年他們的政治觀點跟現在截然不同，

which allows them to persuade, and empathize with, hostile constituencies.

這讓他們能夠說服並理解敵對陣營的選民。

Good parents keep emotionally in touch with the feelings of injustice and sensitivity they had in early childhood.

好的父母會記得他們童年時期的忌妒心理和敏感情緒。

Kindly wealthy people remember what it was like not to dare to walk into a fancy food shop for fear of being patronized.

好心的有錢人記得當初因為被屈尊俯就地對待而不願去高檔餐廳。

And we are always better long-term lovers, if we have an avenue of loyalty back to who we were when we first met our beloved and were at an apogee of gratitude and modesty.

如果我們可以回到第一次墜入愛河的時候，找回當初感激和謙虛的態度，我們會成為更優秀的長期伴侶。

Old friends are key activators of fascinating and valuable parts of the self that we need,

老朋友是喚醒我們迷人且珍貴的自我價值的關鍵，

but are always at risk of forgetting we need in the blinkered present.

讓我們重拾因為當下思路狹隘而被遺忘的那一面。

We publish new thought provoking films every week.

每周我們都會上架更多發人深省的影片。

Be sure to subscribe to our channel and take a look at more of what we have to offer at the link on your screen now.

記得訂閱我們的頻道，點擊螢幕連結觀賞更多作品。