slam hard,

當我聽到牢門

I knew it was for real.

重重地關上，

I feel confused.

我知道這是真的發生了。

I feel betrayed.

我覺得很困惑。

I feel overwhelmed.

我覺得被背叛了。

I feel silenced.

我覺得無法招架。

What just happened?

我覺得被奪去了聲音。

How could they send me here?

剛發生了什麼事？

I don't belong here.

他們怎麼能把我送到這裡？

How could they make such a huge mistake

我不屬於這裡。

without any repercussions whatsoever to their actions?

他們怎麼可以犯這麼大的錯誤

I see large groups of women

不計後果的做出這些行為？

in tattered uniforms

我看到一大群女人，

surrounded by huge walls and gates,

穿著破爛的制服，

enclosed by iron barbed wires,

周圍都是高牆和大門，

and I get hit by an awful stench,

被鐵絲籬網包圍著，

and I ask myself,

我聞到一陣惡臭，

how did I move

我問我自己，

from working in the respected financial banking sector,

我是怎麼從在

having worked so hard in school,

原本被人景仰的金融銀行部門工作，

to now being locked up

並且在學校非常努力的過去，

in the largest correctional facility

淪落到被關在

for women in Kenya?

肯亞最大的女子監獄？

My first night

我在蘭加塔女子最高安全級別 監獄的第一個晚上，

at Langata Women Maximum Security Prison

是最難熬的。

was the toughest.

2009 年 1 月，

In January of 2009,

我被通知我在我工作的銀行裡，

I was informed that I had handled a fraudulent transaction unknowingly

無心地經手了一項詐欺交易。

at the bank where I worked.

我很震驚、害怕、恐懼，

I was shocked, scared and terrified.

我會失去我非常熱愛的職業。

I would lose a career that I loved passionately.

但那不是最糟的。

But that was not the worst.

情況糟到我完全無法想像。

It got even worse than I could have ever imagined.

我被逮捕，

I got arrested,

被惡意指控，

maliciously charged

被起訴。

and prosecuted.

最荒謬的是，逮捕我的警官

The absurdity of it all was the arresting officer

要我付他 $10,000 美金，

asking me to pay him 10,000 US dollars

這樣案子就會消失。

and the case would disappear.

我拒絕了。

I refused.

之後兩年半，

Two and a half years on,

我不斷進出法庭，

in and out of courts,

拼命證明我的無辜。

fighting to prove my innocence.

媒體都在報導，

It was all over the media,

包括報紙、電視、廣播。

in the newspapers, TV, radio.

他們又來找我。

They came to me again.

這次，他們對我說：

This time around, said to me,

「如果你給我們 $50,000 美金，

"If you give us 50,000 US dollars,

判決就會站在你這邊。」

the judgement will be in your favor,"

即使沒有任何證據顯示 在我被指控的這件事中

irrespective of the fact that there was no evidence whatsoever

我有做錯任何事，

that I had any wrongdoing

他們還是這樣索求。

on the charges that I was up against.

我清楚記得

I remember the events

我六年前

of my conviction

被定罪的那個時刻，

six years ago

彷彿昨天才發生。

as if it were yesterday.

法官帶著冷漠無情的面孔

The cold, hard face of the judge

宣布我的判刑，

as she pronounced my sentence

在那個寒冷的星期二早上，

on a cold Thursday morning

我因為我沒犯的罪而被判刑。

for a crime that I hadn't committed.

我記得我抱著

I remember holding

三個月大的美麗女兒，

my three-month-old beautiful daughter

我剛幫她取名為歐瑪，

whom I had just named Oma,

在我的方言中，歐瑪意謂著 「真相和正義」，

which in my dialect means "truth and justice,"

因為我在這段時間當中， 極度渴求的就是真相和正義。

as that was what I had longed so much for

我幫她穿上她最喜歡的紫色衣服，

all this time.

她就在這裡，準備要陪伴我

I dressed her in her favorite purple dress,

去服一年的刑，去坐牢。

and here she was, about to accompany me

警衛似乎對這次經驗給我帶來的傷害

to serve this one-year sentence

沒有任何敏感度。

behind bars.

在入獄的過程中， 我的人性尊嚴消失殆盡。

The guards did not seem sensitive to the trauma

過程中我被搜身找有沒有違禁品，

that this experience was causing me.

我平時的服裝被換成了

My dignity and humanity disappeared

監獄制服，

with the admission process.

被迫蹲在地上，

It involved me being searched for contrabands,

我很快就學到，這個姿勢

changed from my ordinary clothes

會是例行的動作，

to the prison uniform,

將來我要面對的，

forced to squat on the ground,

還有數千次的搜身，

a posture that I soon came to learn

以及報數。

would form the routine

那裡的女人告訴我：

of the thousands of searches,

「你會適應這個地方。

number counts,

你會融入的。」

that lay ahead of me.

我不再被稱為泰瑞莎喬洛格。

The women told me,

我的新身份是 415/11 號，

"You'll adjust to this place.

我很快就了解，

You'll fit right in."

在這個地方的其他女子也都一樣。

I was no longer referred to as Teresa Njoroge.

我適應了監獄裡的生活：

The number 415/11 was my new identity,

監獄食物、

and I soon learned that was the case with the other women

監獄語言、

who we were sharing this space with.

監獄人生。

And adjust I did to life on the inside:

監獄肯定不是童話世界。

the prison food,

我沒料到會遇上的，

the prison language,

是女人和孩子，

the prison life.

我們一起服刑、共用空間，

Prison is certainly no fairytale world.

女人被囚禁，

What I didn't see come my way

是因為體制的犯罪，

was the women and children

腐敗貪汙需要有替死鬼，

whom we served time and shared space with,

代罪羔羊，

women who had been imprisoned

這麼一來，該負責的人

for crimes of the system,

才能逍遙法外，

the corruption that requires a fall guy,

有問題的體制去誹謗脆弱的人， 是司空見慣的事，

a scapegoat,

受害的是最貧窮的人，

so that the person who is responsible

他們無法負擔保釋費用

could go free,

或賄賂。

a broken system that routinely vilifies the vulnerable,

所以我們繼續走下去。

the poorest amongst us,

我傾聽了近七百位女子

people who cannot afford to pay bail

一個又一個的故事，

or bribes.

在監獄的一年中，

And so we moved on.

我很快就了解到，

As I listened to story after story

這些女人不是因為犯罪而入獄，

of these close to 700 women

大部份女人不是，

during that one year in prison,

且差得很遠。

I soon realized that crime

打從教育體制開始就有問題，

was not what had brought these women to prison,

其供給和品質並非人人平等的；

most of them,

缺乏經濟機會，

far from it.

逼著這些女子為了生存 去做小規模的犯罪；

It had started with the education system,

健康體制、

whose supply and quality is not equal for all;

社會正義體制、

lack of economic opportunities

刑事司法體制，

that pushes these women to petty survival crimes;

如果這些大多

the health system,

來自貧窮背景的女子，

social justice system,

掉進已經出問題的體制細縫中，

the criminal justice system.

那等在下面的，就是入獄，

If any of these women,

就這樣。

who were mostly from poor backgrounds,

我在蘭加塔女子最高安全級別監獄

fall through the cracks

服完了一年的刑之後，

in the already broken system,

我有著非常強烈的信念，

the bottom of that chasm is a prison,

要成為轉變的一部份，

period.

去消除那些我目擊的不公平，

By the time I completed my one-year sentence

有女人、有女孩，

at Langata Women Maximum Prison,

她們被捲入了循環，

I had a burning conviction

一生都在進出監獄，

to be part of the transformation

只因為貧窮。

to resolve the injustices

我被釋放後，

that I had witnessed

我成立了「Clean Start」 （清白的開始）。

of women and girls

「Clean Start」是一間社會企業，

who were caught up in a revolving door

旨在給這些女子和女孩

of a life in and out of prison

第二次機會。

due to poverty.

我們所做的，是為她們搭起橋樑。

After my release,

我們到監獄去訓練她們，

I set up Clean Start.

給她們技能、工具、和支持，

Clean Start is a social enterprise

讓她們能夠改變她們的心態、

that seeks to give these women and girls

她們的行為、她們的態度。

a second chance.

我們也從企業部門

What we do is we build bridges for them.

搭起進入監獄的橋樑，

We go into the prisons, train them,

和願與「Clean Start」 合作的個人、組織結合，

give them skills, tools and support

讓我們能提供工作機會、

to enable them to be able to change their mindsets,

可稱為家的地方、

their behaviors and their attitudes.

工作、職業訓練，

We also build bridges into the prisons

給這些女人和女孩，

from the corporate sector --

男孩和男人，

individuals, organizations

在轉換回到社會時協助他們。

that will partner with Clean Start

我從來沒有想過，

to enable us to provide employment,

會有一天，

places to call home,

我會在訴說故事，

jobs, vocational training,

揭露刑事司法體制中非常

for these women, girls,

常見的不公平，

boys and men,

但我就在這裡了。

upon transition back into society.

每次我回到監獄，

I never thought

我有點回到家的感覺，

that one day

但，是為了達成 這個願景的艱鉅工作，

I would be giving stories

讓我在夜間無法入眠，

of the injustices that are so common

連結通往路易斯安那的路程，

within the criminal justice system,

路易斯安那被視為是 世界的監禁首都，

but here I am.

我會帶著這些故事，

Every time I go back to prison,

它們來自我在監獄

I feel a little at home,

遇見的數百位女子，

but it is the daunting work

其中有些人現在已在 擁抱她們的第二次機會，

to achieve the vision

其他人則仍然在 那人生旅程的橋樑上。

that keeps me awake at night,

我在實踐一句話，

connecting the miles to Louisiana,

這句話來自偉大的馬婭安傑盧。

which is deemed as the incarceration capital of the world,

「我一個人來，

carrying with me stories

但我有一萬人的力量。」

of hundreds of women

（掌聲）

whom I have met within the prisons,

因為我的故事是單數，

some of whom are now embracing their second chances,

但和我一起想像，

and others who are still on that bridge of life's journey.

有數百萬人

I embody a line

現在在監獄中，

from the great Maya Angelou.

渴求自由。

"I come as one,

我被定罪的三年後，

but I stand as 10,000."

我被釋放的兩年後，

(Applause)

上訴法庭還了我清白，

For my story is singular,

我沒做錯事。

but imagine with me

（掌聲）

the millions of people

大約同時，

in prisons today,

我有了個兒子，

yearning for freedom.

我把他取名為烏乎魯，

Three years post my conviction

在我的方言中，意思是「自由」。

and two years post my release,

（掌聲）

I got cleared by the courts of appeal

因為我終於得到了我如此

of any wrongdoing.

渴望的自由。

(Applause)

我一個人來，

Around the same time,

但我有一萬人的力量，

I got blessed with my son,

被鋒芒畢露的希望給鼓舞，

whom I named Uhuru,

我們數以千計的人集合在一起，

which in my dialect means "freedom."

要來改革和轉變這個刑事司法體制，

(Applause)

被鼓舞要用我們必須的方式

Because I had finally gotten the freedom

來做我們的工作。

that I so longed for.

讓我們繼續做下去，

I come as one,

沒有辯解。

but I stand as 10,000,

謝謝。

encouraged by the hard-edged hope

（掌聲）

that thousands of us have come together

to reform and transform the criminal justice system,

encouraged that we are doing our jobs

as we are meant to do them.

And let us keep doing them

with no apology.

Thank you.

(Applause)