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  • So a few weeks ago I was looking through my Snaps

  • Cat. Cat. Cat. Dick!

  • It was horrifying.

  • But I figured "Oh! Maybe this is just like one weirdo

  • an isolated incident. Maybe it will never happen again."

  • Because I like looking at everyone's Snaps, you know?

  • Like, I get to meet so many new cats!

  • So I went back to looking at Snapchat, and of course

  • Dick!

  • I immediately changed my privacy settings.

  • I'm sorry all the cats I never got to meet.

  • And I tried to process this weird feeling of having seen

  • Stranger Danger dick pics.

  • Because first and foremost there are only 2 kinds of dick pics, right?

  • The ones that are unwanted, which are super gross.

  • And the ones that are wanted which are still kinda gross.

  • And it made me think: what are guys hoping

  • that our response is to this?

  • Oh, a penis! Let me screenshot that.

  • Print that.

  • Let me frame that.

  • Also, a straight man sending an unsolicited dick pic

  • is basically him telling the world that he doesn't

  • understand the psychology behind how women are sexually aroused.

  • Because men are stimulated visually, right?

  • So just a picture of a boob or a butt is enough to excite them.

  • But women? We need some imagination stimulation.

  • Wait! Before we do this, I want you to tell me every

  • thought you've had in your head from the moment that we've met.

  • As if we were vampires.

  • I have very few friends who actually enjoy dick pics

  • and even they agree: dicks are weird looking.

  • They're not that great to look at on their own.

  • They're just not. They kind of look like the

  • Graboid Monsters from Tremors (a movie).

  • *gasps*

  • Don't move. It's coming!

  • It's coming!

  • It also, unfortunately, made me feel kind of violated.

  • Like, how could I sit here, alone, in my room

  • trying to meet new cats, and get a face full of

  • Dick!

  • Like if a dude burst into my room and shoved his penis in my face,

  • I could get that fool arrested.

  • But because someone far away did it

  • via the most efficient mode of communication possible

  • the only choice I have is to block everyone.

  • Cat Snaps included.

  • But what do you think? Do you like dick pics?

  • Have you ever sent or received one?

  • Do you agree that they look like Graboids?

  • Hi my name is Annemarie and I'm going to be making

  • our Monsters for the film Tremors.

  • I just would like to know how do you envision them looking?

  • Dick!

  • I'm Anna Akana. Stay awesome Gotham.

So a few weeks ago I was looking through my Snaps

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B1 中級 美國腔

我對雞巴圖片的感覺 (How I feel about dick pics)

  • 456 16
    Howard Lin 發佈於 2021 年 01 月 14 日
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