A dog joke. [swoosh / music plays]

This question comes up more often than you think.

"Hey Tommy, how come you don't use a guide dog?" Well, to be quite

honest my situation doesn't call for it. I walk around with a cane.

I'm a cane traveler. I've been using it for a long time.

You've seen it in videos and stuff. I do very well with it.

You know, I can get pretty much anywhere I need to with my cane. If I need to go

some place really far, I can use Uber or Lyft or jump in a taxi.

I don't live in a giant city, right? So, I don't need a

dog for that. I certainly don't need one in the house. I know

my around my own home. It just doesn't fit into my life.

It's not for me right now.

Listen, this isn't to say I wouldn't get one. But for right now

I just don't need one. There's a lot of responsibility that comes with

having a guide dog. I mean, it's almost like having a child.

Every day I've got to do stuff for the dog.

And I've got to be home to take care of the dog.

It's also an added expense. It's a lot to do.

I mean, a cane - I just fold it up put it away.

However, I have had dogs in the past.

I had two of them. One for each hand!

I'm just fooling you. No, I had two separate dogs

at different times. At that time I needed one

because where I was living it was a far walk to anywhere.

You know, it was a long walk into town. It was a long walk to the bus stop where I was

going to go to work. Hell, I was walking on streets with no sidewalks.

So the dog kept me pretty safe and it was really, really helpful.

[music plays]

My first dog was called "Ivan" and he was a German Shepherd.

And he was young and you know what I was not a good

dog handler. He liked to jump and frighten people

and I wasn't correcting him fast enough

and it didn't work out with us. We were together for about six months

and that was it. So he went back and was re-placed

and a couple of months went by and I was given a new dog.

Now this dog was called "Clancy" and he had been with somebody

before and we got along great. He was older so

he was a little bit more chill. And it really worked out

nicely between us. And he was wonderful. He was a great, great dog.

I had Clancy for probably 3-4 years.

It was a good long time. He was probably about 5

when I got him and then by the time he was 8 or 9 his

hip dysplasia started to act up. He couldn't get on the bus anymore.

He had difficulty coming up and downstairs and getting

into cars and so I took him to the vet one day and

they told me, "yeah, he's got hip dysplasia and he can't work anymore."

Nice bedside manner. That freaked me out that day.

So, when it was time I just gave him back to the place where he came from

and they actually put him in a nursing home which is fun.

Kind of a flat place with no real stairs and stuff.

And all these people in this nursing home had a pet.

And a very well behaved pet.

[music plays]

Oh my god, having a guide was great. There was a lot of cool things about it.

I mean, they're so well trained. They can do all kinds of things.

Like on a train platform for example, if I get a little confused

or whatever and started walking towards the edge of the platform...

the dog would literally stand between me and the edge of the platform

and not let me go forward. I'll never forget one time I was going to work...

I got off the bus. And it was really noisy and I was

in front of parking garage. And I asked him to go.

And he wouldn't go. And then I heard a car come by.

And I was like, "Holy cow, you just saved my life, Clancy. Way to go, kid."

He was also very helpful on walking. I mean, my cane

does a good job on the ground, right? But if there's something low hanging

the dog would actually stop so I would have to reach around

a little bit and reach up in front of me and see if there were trees

and there were. And then I would touch the trees with my hand

and ask him to go ahead again and we would go.

You know what else he knew? Let's say you and me went somewhere

and we go in your car. The dog's right in your car and we go to the mall

or whatever. And then we come back out and I can actually say

to my dog, "Find the car." And he would find the car

that we were in before.

[music plays]

So, it was a lot of fun but there was a lot of responsibility that comes

with a dog. I mean, one of things I had to do was

pick up after him. And people go, "how the heck did you do that?"

I could take him outside for example and say to him, "Get busy."

And that would mean it was time for him to do his thing. And he'd start

to sniff and go back and forth and back and forth.

And I'd put my foot right next to his leg and then when he'd move

I could just reach down with a plastic bag

and just pick it up and flip the bag inside out and throw it in the garbage.

And people say, "why did you ever pick that stuff up?" Well, here's the simple

answer.. I didn't want to step in it. I can't see where

it is so if I don't pick it up, I'm going to be wearing it.

[music plays]

The other things I used to do with him as well. People would always say, "Does your dog bite?"

And I'd always say, "Sure." What I mean is

his food. [laughs]

I don't know whether he'd bite your not, but

I gave you a vague answer that way you won't try him.

[beep] I think we've come to the "tail" of this video.