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  • - I was 18 years old when I got married.

    我在我18歲的時候結婚

  • I belong to a very conservative family,

    我家是非常保守的

  • a Baloch family, where

    是俾路支人家庭(Baloch Family)

  • good daughters never say no to their parents.

    這樣的家庭中好女兒絕不會對父母回嘴"不要"

  • My father wanted me to get married,

    我爸想要我嫁人

  • and all I said was, "If that makes you happy,

    我只說:“如果我嫁人會令你開心”

  • "I will say yes."

    “我就會嫁”

  • And of course, it was never a happy marriage.

    當然啦那是一段從來沒有開心過的婚姻

  • Just about after two years of getting married,

    差不多在我結婚後2年

  • about nine years ago, I made a car accident.

    大約9年前我發生了一場車禍

  • Somehow, my husband fell asleep,

    不知怎麼的我的前夫被睡意擊垮

  • and the car fell in the ditch.

    車子翻落到大溝渠裡

  • He managed to jump out, saved himself.

    他想辦法跳出車外來救他自己的命

  • I'm happy for him.

    這我替他高興

  • But I stayed inside the car,

    但我待在車子裡

  • and I sustained a lot of injuries.

    遭受許多傷

  • The list is a bit long.

    這創傷清單有點兒長

  • The radius and ulna of my right arm were fractured,

    我右手臂的橈骨與尺骨兩處斷裂

  • the wrist was fractured,

    手腕骨折

  • shoulder bone and collar bone were fractured,

    肩骨和頸骨斷裂

  • my whole ribcage got fractured.

    我整個肋骨斷裂

  • But that whole injury that changed me

    但這一整個傷害中徹底地改變我與我的生命

  • and my life completely was the spine injury.

    是脊椎的受創

  • Many people came to rescue, that gave me CPR,

    有好多人前來拯救他們幫我施行CPR心肺復甦術

  • that dragged me out of the car,

    他們把我從車子裡面拖出來

  • and while they were dragging me out,

    當他們把我拖出來的時候

  • I got the complete transaction of my spinal cord.

    我的脊髓這時候完全地斷裂了

  • Those two and a half months in the hospital were dreadful.

    在醫院的那兩個半月真的很慘

  • I was at the verge of despair.

    我處於絕望的邊緣

  • One day, a doctor came came to me and he said,

    有一天醫生來跟我說:

  • "Well, I heard that you wanted to be an artist,

    “我聽說你想要成為藝術家”

  • "but you ended up being a housewife.

    “但你後來成為家庭主婦”

  • "I have bad news for you.

    ”我有個壞消息要告訴你“

  • "You won't be able to paint again."

    “你沒有辦法再畫畫了”

  • The next day, the doctor came to me and said,

    隔天醫生來跟我說:

  • "Your spine injury is so bad

    “你的脊椎受創很嚴重”

  • "you won't be able to walk again."

    “你沒有辦法再走路了”

  • I took a deep breath, and I said, "It's all right."

    我深深地吸了一口氣我說:“沒關係"

  • The next day, the doctor came to me and said,

    再隔一天醫生來跟我說

  • "Because of your spine injury

    ”由於你脊椎受創"

  • "and the fixation that you have in your back,

    “以及你後背上的固定術"

  • "you won't be able to give birth to a child again."

    ”你沒有辦法再生孩子了“

  • That day, I was devastated.

    那一天,我徹底被摧毀了

  • I started to question my existence.

    我開始對我的存在提出疑問

  • Why am I even alive?

    為什麼我還活著?

  • So what kept me going was, one day I asked my brothers,

    讓我能繼續活著的是有一天我跟我兄弟們說

  • "I know I have a deformed hand,

    "我知道我有一隻變了形的手”

  • "but I'm tired of looking at these white walls

    “但是我厭倦了一直看到這些醫院裡的白牆”

  • "in the hospital, and wearing these white scrubs.

    “以及穿著的這些白衣”

  • "Bring me some colors, bring me some small canvas.

    "帶一些顏料給我帶一些小畫布給我”

  • "I want to paint."

    “我想要繪畫”

  • So the very first painting I made was on my deathbed,

    就這樣,我的第一幅畫是在我的死亡之床上

  • where I painted for the very first time.

    那是我初次繪畫之處

  • What an amazing therapy it was.

    那真是令人感到驚奇的療癒

  • Without uttering a single word,

    完全不需要說出任何一個字

  • I could paint my heart out.

    我就可以畫出我的真心

  • I could share my story.

    我可以分享我的故事

  • People used to come and say, "What lovely painting.

    許多人來了會說:“好可愛的畫喔”

  • "So much color!"

    “這麼多的色彩”

  • Nobody could see the grief in it.

    但沒有人看得懂畫裡的哀慟

  • Only I could.

    只有我懂

  • And that day, I decided that

    就在那天,我決定

  • I'm going to live life for myself.

    我要為我自己而活

  • I am not going to be that perfect person for someone.

    我不打算去當某個人眼中的完美人士

  • I am just going to take this moment,

    我僅僅就是活在每個時刻

  • and I will make it perfect for myself,

    並且為了我自己讓每個時刻是完美的

  • and I'm going to fight my fears.

    同時我要向我的恐懼抗戰

  • So, I wrote down, one by one, all those fears,

    所以我一個一個寫下了所有的恐懼

  • and I decided that I'm going to overcome those fears

    並且我決定要克服這些恐懼

  • one at a time.

    一次克服一個恐懼

  • You know what was my biggest fear?

    你知道我最大的恐懼為何嗎?

  • Divorce.

    離婚

  • But the day I decided that this is nothing but my fear,

    但當我決定了離婚並不是什麼大事不過就是我的恐懼而已,在那一天

  • I liberated myself by setting him free,

    透過令他回復自由之身我解放了我自己

  • and I made myself emotionally so strong

    同時我讓我自己在情緒上堅毅到

  • that the day I got the news that he's getting married,

    在我得知他結婚消息的那天

  • I sent him a text that I'm so happy for you,

    我發了訊息給他,”我很為你高興“

  • and I wish you all the best.

    “同時我祝福你一切美好”

  • And he knows that I pray for him today.

    一直到今天,他知道我為他祈禱著

  • Number two was I won't be able to be a mother again,

    第二是我無法再成為一個母親了

  • and that was quite devastating for me.

    那對我來說,是相當具有摧毀力的

  • But then I realized, there are

    但是後來我瞭解到

  • so many children in the world.

    這世界上有這麼多的孩童

  • All they want is acceptance.

    他們想要的僅僅是被接受而已

  • So there is no point of crying,

    所以,沒有必要哭啊

  • just go and adopt one, and that's what I did.

    就去領養一位吧!那就是我後來做的事

  • (cheering)

  • I gave my name in different organizations,

    00:03:52,670 --> 00:03:54,567我在不同的機構與孤兒院提出申請

  • different orphanages, and I waited patiently.

    並且耐心等待

  • Two years later, I got this call from

    兩年後,我接到了一通電話

  • a very small city in Pakistan.

    在巴基斯坦的一個小城市

  • I got a call and they said, "Are you Muniba Mazari?

    我接起電話,他們問:”你是穆妮芭•瑪札芮小姐嗎?“

  • "There is a baby boy, and would you like to adopt?"

    ”有個小男嬰,你願意領養嗎?“

  • I could literally feel the labor pains.

    我幾乎可以感覺到分娩時的陣痛

  • Yes, yes, I am going to adopt him!

    ”是的!是的!我願意領養!“

  • I am coming to take him home.

    “我會來帶他回家”

  • And that day, Neal was two days old,

    那天他才出生2天而已

  • and today he's six.

    今天他6歲了

  • You know when you end up being on the wheelchair,

    你知道當你後來得坐在輪椅上過日子時

  • what's the most painful thing?

    最痛的是什麼嗎?

  • People think that they will

    人們會想說

  • not be accepted by other people,

    他們不會被其他人們所接受

  • because we, in the world of perfect people, are imperfect.

    因為在這充滿完美人士的世界上我們是不完美的

  • So I decided to appear more in public.

    因此我決定要頻常地在公眾場合出現

  • I started to paint.

    我開始畫畫

  • I have done a lot of modeling campaigns.

    我參加好多時尚競賽活動

  • I decided that I'm going to join

    我決定我要加入

  • the national TV of Pakistan as an anchor person.

    巴基斯坦國家電視主播

  • I became the National Global Goodwill Ambassador

    我後來在巴基斯坦的聯合國婦女權能署

  • for UN Women Pakistan,

    成為國家的環球親善大使

  • and now I speak for the rights of women and children.

    現在,我為婦女兒童權利發聲

  • I was featured in BBC 100 Women for 2015.

    我成為2015年BBC『巾幗百名』特寫

  • I'm one of the Forbes 30 Under 30 for 2016.

    我是2016年富比士雜誌30 Under 30 之一

  • So, when you accept yourself the way you are,

    所以當你接受你自己的樣子時

  • the world recognizes you.

    這個世界就會認出你來

  • It all starts from within.

    一切都從內在開始

  • We have this amazing fantasy about life.

    我們對於生命有奇異的幻想

  • This is how things should work.

    事情應該要這麼進行

  • This is my plan, it should go as per my plan.

    這是我的計畫,應該要跟著我的計畫走

  • If that doesn't happen, we give up.

    如果沒有照我們的計畫來,我們就放棄了

  • I never wanted to be on the wheelchair,

    我從來沒有想要坐在輪椅上

  • never thought of being on the wheelchair.

    從來沒有想過坐在輪椅上的念頭

  • This life is a test and a trial,

    生命是一場測試與考驗

  • and the tests are never supposed to be easy,

    這些測試從來就不該會是簡單的

  • so when you're expecting ease from life,

    所以當你期待生命是輕鬆簡單的

  • and life gives you lemons, then you make the lemonade,

    然後生命給你檸檬你就擠杯檸檬水來喝

  • and then do not blame life for that.

    但不要抱怨生命給你檸檬水喝

  • It is okay to be scared, it is okay to cry.

    驚慌是可以的哭泣是可以的

  • Everything is okay, but giving up should not be an option.

    每件事都是可以的唯獨放棄不應該是一個選項

  • They always say that failure is not an option.

    人們總是說失敗不是一個選項

  • Failure should be an option,

    失敗應該是一個選項

  • because when you fail, you get up,

    因為當你跌倒了你會站起來

  • and then you fail, and then you get up,

    你又失敗了你會再站起來

  • and that keeps you going.

    這令你繼續向前邁進

  • Embrace each and every breath that you are taking,

    擁抱你的每一個呼與吸

  • celebrate your life, live it.

    慶賀你的生命活出你的人生

  • Don't die before your death.

    別在進墳墓之前,就死氣沈沈

  • Real happiness lies in gratitude,

    真實的快樂就在感恩之內

  • so be grateful, be alive, and live every moment!

    要感激要有活力要活在每個當下

- I was 18 years old when I got married.

我在我18歲的時候結婚

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A2 初級 中文 美國腔 斷裂 生命 輪椅 領養 巴基斯坦 檸檬水

活著的意義 (Why Am I Even Alive? | Muniba Mazari)

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    Little Grass 發佈於 2017 年 11 月 16 日
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