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  • Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Camille Martínez

    譯者:Joseph Geni,校對者:Camille Martínez

  • I recently read about what the young generation of workers want

    我最近在哈佛商業評論讀到

  • in Harvard Business Review.

    年輕一代上班族的訴求

  • One thing that stuck out to me was: don't just talk about impact,

    其中一件事讓我印象深刻:別只會嘴上談影響

  • but make an impact.

    而是起身去發揮你的影響力

  • I'm a little bit older than you,

    我比你們都年長一些

  • maybe much older than you,

    或許年長許多

  • but this is exactly the same goal that I had when I was in college.

    但這正是我在大學時期的目標

  • I wanted to make my own impact for those who live under injustice;

    我想替那些生活在不公不義之下的人帶來改變

  • it's the reason that I became a documentary journalist,

    這就是為什麼我會成為一名紀錄片新聞記者

  • the reason I became

    也是為什麼

  • a prisoner in North Korea for 140 days.

    我會在北韓坐牢一百四十天

  • It was March 17, 2009.

    那是在 2009 年的三月十七號

  • It is St. Patrick's Day for all of you,

    對你們來說那天是聖派崔克日

  • but it was the day that turned my life upside down.

    但那卻是把我的生活徹底顛覆的一天

  • My team and I were making a documentary about North Korean refugees

    我和我的團隊當時正在製作一部有關北韓難民

  • living below human life in China.

    在中國過著非人道生活的紀錄片

  • We were at the border.

    我們那時剛好在邊境上

  • It was our last day of filming.

    那是我們錄製影片的最後一天

  • There was no wire fence

    那裡完全沒有任何鐵欄、

  • or bars

    壩條、

  • or sign to show that it is the border,

    或是標誌標明邊境的所在

  • but this is a place that a lot of North Korean defectors use

    但那正是很多北韓難民的

  • as an escape route.

    逃脫路徑

  • It was still winter,

    那時還是冬天

  • and the river was frozen.

    河面都凍結了

  • When we were in the middle of the frozen river,

    我們站在凍結的河面中央

  • we were filming about the condition of the cold weather

    當時正在記錄寒冷的天氣

  • and the environment

    和環境

  • that North Koreans had to deal with

    這正是北韓人民在逃奔自由時

  • when they seek their freedom.

    必須忍受的

  • And suddenly, one of my team members shouted,

    突然,我其中一個團隊夥伴大喊

  • "Soldiers!"

    「軍人!」

  • So I looked back,

    於是我回頭

  • and there were two small soldiers in green uniforms with rifles,

    看到兩名身穿綠色制服、手持來福槍的矮小軍人

  • chasing after us.

    從我們身後追來

  • We all ran as fast as we could.

    我們趕緊拔腿狂奔

  • I prayed that, please don't let them shoot my head.

    我心裡暗自祈禱:拜託別開槍射我的頭

  • And I was thinking that,

    我心想

  • if my feet are on Chinese soil,

    一旦抵達中國境內

  • I'll be safe.

    我就安全了

  • And I made it to Chinese soil.

    我也的確跑到了境內

  • Then I saw my colleague Laura Ling fall on her knees.

    但我看到我的同事 Laura Ling 跌倒了

  • I didn't know what to do at that short moment,

    在那一時刻,我不知道該如何是好

  • but I knew that I could not leave her alone there

    但聽到她說「Euna,我的腿沒知覺了」時

  • when she said, "Euna, I can't feel my legs."

    我知道我不能丟下她自己一人

  • In a flash, we were surrounded by these two Korean soldiers.

    轉眼間,我們已經被這兩個北韓軍人圍起來

  • They were not much bigger than us,

    他們不比我們高多少

  • but they were determined to take us to their army base.

    但他們堅持要把我們帶回軍事基地

  • I begged and yelled for any kind of help,

    我哀求喊叫,試圖尋求任何援助

  • hoping that someone would show up from China.

    希望中國那邊能有人出現

  • Here I was, being stubborn

    面對一名訓練有素、手持槍械的軍人

  • towards a trained soldier with a gun.

    我態度倔強

  • I looked at his eyes.

    我直視他的雙眼

  • He was just a boy.

    他只是個男孩

  • At that moment, he raised his rifle to hit me,

    就在那時,他舉起他的來福槍要打我

  • but I saw that he was hesitating.

    但我看得出來他很猶豫

  • His eyes were shaking,

    他的眼神游移

  • and his rifle was still up in the air.

    而他的來福槍仍高舉在空中

  • So I shouted at him,

    所以我對他大喊:

  • "OK, OK, I'll walk with you."

    「好,好,我會跟你走」

  • And I got up.

    接著我站起來

  • When we arrived at their army base,

    當我們抵達他們基地時

  • my head was spinning with these worst-case scenarios,

    我腦裡不停做著各種最壞的打算

  • and my colleague's statement wasn't helping.

    而我同事的話更是雪上加霜

  • She said, "We are the enemy."

    她說:「我們是敵人」

  • She was right: we were the enemy.

    她說的對,我們是敵人

  • And I was supposed to be frightened, too.

    而我也應該要感到害怕的

  • But I kept having these odd experiences.

    但接著我便遇到各種奇特的經驗

  • This time, an officer brought me his coat

    這一次,一位軍官給了我他的外套

  • to keep me warm,

    讓我保暖

  • because I lost my coat on the frozen river

    因為在跟其中一名軍人僵持時

  • while battling with one of these soldiers.

    我自己的外套掉在凍結的河上了

  • I will tell you what I mean by these odd experiences.

    讓我來解釋一下為什麼這些經驗很奇特

  • I grew up in South Korea.

    我從小在南韓長大

  • To us, North Korea was always the enemy,

    對我們而言,北韓始終是敵方

  • even before I was born.

    甚至早在我出生前就是

  • South and North have been under armistice for 63 years,

    打從韓戰結束那年

  • since the end of the Korean War.

    南韓和北韓已經處於休戰協議 63 年

  • And growing up in the South in the '80s and '90s,

    生長於 80、90 年代的南韓

  • we were taught propaganda about North Korea.

    我們從小接觸有關於北韓的宣傳

  • And we heard so many graphic stories,

    我們也看過很多有關的動畫片

  • such as, a little young boy being brutally killed

    比如在其中一部,一個小男孩因為說了

  • by North Korean spies just because he said,

    「我不喜歡共產主義者」

  • "I don't like communists."

    就被北韓間諜殘忍殺害

  • Or, I watched this cartoon series

    或是這部我看過的卡通

  • about a young South Korean boy defeating these fat, big, red pig,

    在講一位南韓男孩打敗這些又肥又大的紅豬

  • which represented the North Koreans' first leader at the time.

    這些豬象徵北韓當時的第一任領導人

  • And the effect of hearing these horrible stories over and over

    從小不斷被灌輸的這些恐怖故事

  • instilled one word in a young mind:

    在我們心裡深植了一個概念:

  • "enemy."

    「敵人」

  • And I think at some point, I dehumanized them,

    我想在某種程度上,我忘了他們也是人類

  • and the people of North Korea became equated

    我把北韓人民

  • with the North Korean government.

    與北韓政府劃上了等號

  • Now, back to my detention.

    現在回來繼續我的故事

  • It was the second day

    那是我在牢房裡的

  • of being in a cell.

    第二天

  • I had not slept since I was out at the border.

    從越過邊界那天開始我就沒睡了

  • This young guard came to my cell

    一名年輕看守員走來我的牢房

  • and offered me this small boiled egg

    給了我一顆小小的水煮蛋

  • and said, "This will give you strength to keep going."

    他說:「這能讓你保持體力」

  • Do you know what it is like,

    你們知道那種從敵人手裡

  • receiving a small kindness in the enemy's hand?

    獲得些微善意的感覺嗎?

  • Whenever they were kind to me, I thought the worst case

    每當他們親切地對待我,我總會想到在這些之後

  • was waiting for me after the kindness.

    等待著我的慘絕命運

  • One officer noticed my nervousness.

    一名官員發現我很緊張

  • He said, "Did you think we were all these red pigs?"

    他說:「你認為我們都是那些大紅豬嗎?」

  • referring to the cartoon that I just showed you.

    那指的是我前面跟你們提過的卡通

  • Every day was like a psychological battle.

    每一天都像是一場心理戰

  • The interrogator had me sit at a table

    審問官要我一週六天

  • six days a week

    都坐在桌前

  • and had me writing down about my journey, my work,

    要我一再地寫下我去過哪裡、我的工作內容

  • over and over until I wrote down the confession that they wanted to hear.

    直到有一天我寫下他們想聽的招供

  • After about three months of detention,

    在過了大概三個月的監禁

  • the North Korean court sentenced me

    北韓法院將我審判

  • to 12 years in a labor camp.

    至勞改營待十二年

  • So I was just sitting in my room to be transferred.

    接著我就待在我的房裡等著被接去

  • At that time, I really had nothing else to do,

    在那期間我沒任何事可以做

  • so I paid attention to these two female guards

    所以我把注意力轉到兩名女看守員

  • and listened to what they were talking about.

    聽她們在說什麼

  • Guard A was older,

    看守一號比較年長

  • and she studied English.

    她是學英語的

  • She seemed like she came from an affluent family.

    她看來家境富裕

  • She often showed up with these colorful dresses,

    常常穿著艷麗的裙子出現

  • and then loved to show off.

    然後大肆炫耀

  • And Guard B was the younger one,

    看守二號比較年輕

  • and she was a really good singer.

    她歌唱得很好

  • She loved to sing Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On" --

    她很愛唱 Celine Dion 的《愛無止盡》(My Heart Will Go On)

  • sometimes too much.

    有時實在唱得太多了

  • She knew just how to torture me without knowing.

    她完全知道要怎麼不經意地折磨我

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And this girl spent a lot of time in the morning to put on makeup,

    這個女孩每天早上花很多時間梳妝打扮

  • like you can see in any young girl's life.

    就像任何一個年輕女孩

  • And they loved to watch this Chinese drama,

    她們很喜歡看中國連續劇

  • a better quality production.

    說品質比較好

  • I remember Guard B said,

    我就記得看守二號曾說

  • "I can no longer watch our TV shows after watching this."

    「看過這個之後我就再也看不下我們自己的電視節目了」

  • She got scolded

    她因為

  • for degrading her own country's produced TV shows.

    批評自己國家的電視節目被責罵

  • Guard B had more of a free mind than Guard A,

    比起看守一號,看守二號比較隨性

  • and she often got scolded by Guard A whenever she expressed herself.

    她常常因為表達自己的看法而被看守一號罵

  • One day, they invited all these female colleagues --

    有一天,她們找來所有的女同事

  • I don't know where they came from --

    我不知道這些人是哪裡來的

  • to where I was held,

    她們到我的房間

  • and they invited me

    然後邀請我

  • to their guard room

    到她們的看守室

  • and asked

    她們問我

  • if one-night stands really happen in the US.

    在美國是不是真的有一夜情

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • This is the country where young couples are not even allowed

    這可是個年輕情侶在公眾場所就連牽手

  • to hold hands in public.

    都不被允許的國度

  • I had no idea where they had gotten this information,

    我完全想不通她們從哪裡聽來這個消息

  • but they were shy and giggly even before I said anything.

    但在我開口前,她們就已經羞澀得咯咯笑

  • I think we all forgot that I was their prisoner,

    在那時候我都忘了自己還在牢裡

  • and it was like going back to my high school classroom again.

    就好像重返到高中教室

  • And I learned that these girls also grew up watching a similar cartoon,

    我得知這些女孩小時候跟我看著類似的卡通長大

  • but just propaganda towards South Korea and the US.

    只是換成了和南韓還有美國敵對的宣傳

  • I started to understand where these people's anger was coming from.

    我開始了解這些人們的憤怒從何而來

  • If these girls grew up learning that we are enemies,

    如果這些女孩從小就被教導我們是敵人

  • it was just natural that they would hate us

    那她們自然會厭恨我們

  • just as I feared them.

    就如同我害怕他們一樣

  • But at that moment, we were all just girls

    但忽略了那些區別我們的意識形態

  • who shared the same interests,

    在那個時刻,我們就只是一群

  • beyond our ideologies that separated us.

    有著類似興趣的女孩子

  • I shared these stories with my boss at Current TV at the time

    在我回家之後,我和我 Current TV 的電視台老闆分享過

  • after I came home.

    這些故事

  • His first reaction was,

    他的第一反應是

  • "Euna, have you heard of Stockholm Syndrome?"

    「Euna,你知道斯德哥爾摩症候群嗎?」

  • Yes, and I clearly remember

    當然,我也清楚記得

  • the feeling of fear

    恐懼的感覺

  • and being threatened,

    和被威脅的感覺

  • and tension rising up between me and the interrogator

    以及當我和審問官討論到政治時

  • when we talked about politics.

    那種緊張的氛圍

  • There definitely was a wall that we couldn't climb over.

    不可否認地,我們之間絕對有一道無法跨越的墻

  • But we were able to see each other as human beings

    但是當我們論及家庭、

  • when we talked about family,

    日常生活

  • everyday life,

    和下一代的未來時

  • the importance of the future for our children.

    我們得以將彼此視為人類來對待

  • It was about a month before I came home.

    在我回家前的一個月

  • I got really sick.

    我生了重病

  • Guard B stopped by my room to say goodbye,

    看守二號就要離開看守所了

  • because she was leaving the detention center.

    所以她來我房間和我道別

  • She made sure that no one watched us,

    她先確保沒有人在看我們

  • no one heard us,

    或是聽得見我們

  • and quietly said,

    然後小聲地說

  • "I hope you get better

    「我希望妳早日康復

  • and go back to your family soon."

    快快回到妳的家人身邊」

  • It is these people --

    正是這些人們--

  • the officer who brought me his coat,

    給我外套的官員

  • the guard who offered me a boiled egg,

    給我一顆水煮蛋的看守員

  • these female guards who asked me about dating life in the US --

    跟我聊美國約會文化的女看守員

  • they are the ones that I remember of North Korea:

    他們構成了我對北韓的印象:

  • humans just like us.

    和你我一樣都是人類

  • North Koreans and I were not ambassadors of our countries,

    我和那些北韓人都不是我們國家的外交官

  • but I believe that we were representing

    但我相信我們代表了

  • the human race.

    人類

  • Now I'm back home and back to my life.

    現在我回到了家也返回了以前的生活

  • The memory of these people has blurred as time has passed.

    隨著日子過去,我對這些人的記憶漸漸淡去

  • And I'm in this place

    我現在身處這個地方

  • where I read and hear about North Korea provoking the US.

    讀到和聽到的都是有關北韓如何挑釁美國

  • I realized how easy it is

    我意識到要再次把他們視為敵人

  • to see them as an enemy again.

    是多麼容易的一件事

  • But I have to keep reminding myself that when I was over there,

    但我必須不停提醒自己,我曾到過那裡

  • I was able to see humanity

    透過我敵人的雙眼

  • over hatred

    我能夠看到人性是如何

  • in my enemy's eyes.

    戰勝恨意

  • Thank you.

    謝謝你們

  • (Applause)

    (掌聲)

Translator: Joseph Geni Reviewer: Camille Martínez

譯者:Joseph Geni,校對者:Camille Martínez

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