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  • Because shyness can grip us in such powerful ways, it's tempting to think of it as an immutable part of our emotional make-up.

    因為羞怯對我們影響甚鉅,我們傾向把它視為一個在我們情感表現中,難以改變的部分。

  • With roots that extend far into our personality and perhaps biology, and that we would be incapable of ever extirpating.

    羞怯根深柢固地延伸至我們的個性或者是生活習性中,而我們不知道該如何根除它。

  • But in truth, shyness is based on a set of ideas about the world that are eminently amenable to change through a process of reason.

    但事實上,羞怯是基於對這世界的想法,這些想法是特別容易藉由一連串推論而改變的。

  • Because they are founded on some touchingly malleable errors of thought.

    因為它們建立於一些錯誤的想法上。

  • Shyness is rooted in a distinctive way of interpreting strangers.

    羞怯根植於對陌生人的不同解讀方式。

  • The shy aren't awkward around everyone.

    害羞的人不會在每個人面前都表現地很笨拙。

  • They are tongue-tied around those who seem most unlike them on the basis of a range of surface markers: of age, class, tastes, habits, beliefs, backgrounds or religions.

    他們會根據一些表面指標,包含年齡、層次、嗜好、習慣、信念、身分背景或宗教信仰,而當他們在與自己不相似的人面前時,會沉默寡言。

  • With no unkindness meant, we could define shyness as a form of "provincialism" of the mind.

    不帶任何惡意,我們可以將羞怯定義為內心「鄉巴佬主義」的一種表現方式。

  • An over-attachment to the incidentals of one's own life and experience that unfairly casts others into the role of daunting, unfathomable, unknowable foreigners.

    對自己的生活和經歷的雜物過度依戀,會產生不公平的念頭,認為別人都是令人生畏,深不可測,不可知的外來者。

  • On contact with a person from another world or "province", the shy allow their minds to be dominated by a forbidding aura of difference.

    和另一個世界的人見面時,害羞的人會負面地、一直專注在他們的不同之處上。

  • They may, silently and awkwardly, say to themselves that there is nothing to be said or done because the other is famous while they belong to the province of the obscure.

    他們可能在內心裡沉默又笨拙的想說,我沒有什麼可以說的話或做的事,因為對方是個有名氣的人,而自己卻只是個無名的鄉下土包子。

  • Or because the other is very old while their province is firmly that of 20 somethings.

    又或者因為對方年紀較長,而自己只有二十出頭歲。

  • or because the other is very clever

    又或者因為其他人很聰明,

  • while their province is that of the non-intellectual;

    而另一方卻沒那麼聰明。

  • or because the other is from the land of very beautiful girls

    又或者因為其他人是來自一個充滿美女的國度,

  • while they hail from the province of average looking boys.

    而他們只是一群長相平凡的男孩。

  • This is why there can be no grounds to laugh,

    這就是為什麼他們會沒本錢可以去取笑別人,

  • to hazard a playful remark or to feel at ease.

    說一些挑逗的話或放鬆下來。

  • The shy person doesn't intend to be unpleasant or unfriendly.

    害羞的人不是故意要表現得討人厭或不友善。

  • They simply experience all otherness as an insurmountable barrier

    他們就只是將體驗到的異己差異性視為一個難以跨越的藩籬,

  • to making their own goodwill and personality apparent.

    將他們自己的好心和個性凸顯出來。

  • We can imagine that in the history of humanity,

    我們可以想像在人性的歷史中,

  • shyness was always the first response.

    羞怯總是第一個反應

  • The people over the hill would have triggered the feeling

    在山頭的人們會有這種感覺,

  • because they were farmers while you were fishermen,

    是因為他們是農夫,而你們是漁夫,

  • or they spoke with a lilt in their vowels while your diction was monotone and flat.

    又或者他們操著一個活潑輕快的口音,你的措詞卻單調又無精打采

  • Yet, gradually there emerged a more worldly,

    但是,漸漸地,有個比較世俗的,

  • less exclusive way of relating to strangers:

    減少排他性的方法,和陌生人相處愉快的方法出現了:

  • what we might call a psychological "cosmopolitanism".

    我們可以稱它為心靈的「世界主義」

  • In the ancient civilisations of Greece and Rome,

    在希臘和羅馬古文明中,

  • prompted by ever increasing encounters between peoples who lived very different and mutually unfamiliar lives,

    它們都是藉由在不同地方生活、互相不認識彼此生活的人們,逐漸相遇頻繁,所促成的因為貿易、航運的發展,

  • thanks to developments in trade and shipping,

    發現埃及人崇拜貓和某種鳥類

  • an alternative to shyness developed.

    而發展了羞怯的替代方案

  • Greek travellers who worshiped human-like divinities

    崇拜人形神祇的希臘旅人,

  • learnt that Egyptians revered cats and certain birds.

    發現埃及人崇拜貓和某種鳥類

  • Romans who shaved their chins met barbarians who did not.

    羅馬人刮鬍子,卻遇見不刮鬍子的野蠻人

  • Senators who lived in colonnaded houses with underfloor heating

    住在有廊柱,有炕的房子中的參議員,

  • encountered chieftains who lived in draughty wooden huts.

    卻遇見住在通風良好的木造茅舍中的酋長

  • And among certain thinkers,

    在某些思想家中,

  • an approach developed that proposed that all these humans,

    有個說法發展出來了,這個說法指出,所有人類,

  • whatever their surface variations, shared a common core,

    不管他們多元的外表,都有著相同的本質,

  • and that it was to this that the mature mind should turn in contact with apparent otherness.

    那就是成熟的內心應該轉變成多接觸異己者

  • It was to this "cosmopolitan" mindset

    就是因為這個「世界主義」心態,

  • that the Roman playwright and poet Terence gave voice when he wrote:

    羅馬劇作家兼詩人Terence寫作時,吐露了:

  • "I am human: so nothing human is foreign to me"

    「我是人,所以關於人的事情都是跟我相干的」

  • and that Christianity made use of

    而基督教則以此

  • in rendering universal sympathy a cornerstone of its view of existence.

    將普世的同情視為它的存在基石

  • Someone becomes a cosmopolitan

    有人成為世界主義者,

  • not on the basis of having a buoyant or gregarious nature

    不是因為有輕浮或擅於社交的天性,

  • but because they are in touch with a fundamental truth about humanity,

    而是因為他們與一個人性的重要事實有連繫,

  • because they know that irrespective of appearance,

    因為他們知道外表是無關的,

  • we are the same species beneath,

    我們在外表之下都是同文同種,

  • an insight that the tongue-tied guest at the party

    他們也知道在派對中寡言的客人,

  • or the awkward seducer in the restaurant are guilty of implicitly refusing.

    或者在餐廳中表現笨拙的騙子,對於隱藏性的抗拒都是有罪的

  • Traditionally, rank or status have been major sources of shy provincialism:

    傳統上,階級或者地位,已經是羞怯鄉巴佬主義主要的原因:

  • the peasant felt he could not approach the lord,

    鄉下人覺得他不能夠接近統治者,

  • the young milkmaid stammered when the Earl's son visited the stable.

    年輕擠牛奶的少女,看見伯爵的兒子造訪牛棚時,講話會支支吾吾

  • Today, in an echo of such inhibitions,

    今日,此種壓抑餘音盪響,

  • the boy of average looks feels he could never hang out with the beautiful girl,

    相貌平平的男孩,覺得他絕對不可能和正妹約會,

  • or the modestly-off lose any ability to talk to the very wealthy.

    或者過著簡樸生活的人,失去了任何能力去和有錢人說話

  • The mind just fixates on the gulf:

    心靈就只是固著在深淵中,

  • my nose looks like a child modelled it out of plasticine,

    我的鼻子就像是一個孩子用黏土捏出來的

  • yours as if it had been carved out by Michelangelo;

    你的就像是曾被米開朗基羅雕刻出來的

  • I fear losing my job

    我怕失去我的工作,

  • while you fear that the expansion of your business into Mexico

    你卻害怕公司擴展到墨西哥後,

  • won't be as profitable as you'd forecast.

    就不會如你預期的那樣賺錢

  • The cosmopolitan is well aware of differences.

    世界主義者相當在意差異性,

  • They just refuse to be cowed or dominated by them.

    他們只是拒絕被差異性威脅或打敗

  • They look beyond them to perceive,

    他們在宏觀之處察覺,

  • or in practical terms simply to guess at, a collective species-unity.

    或者用實際一點的話來說,就只是猜想一個種族的綜合體。

  • Shyness does have its insightful dimensions.

    羞怯確實有它發人深省的面向

  • It's infused with an awareness

    它被注入了一種意識,

  • that we might be bothering someone with our presence,

    也就是我們的出現可能打擾到某個人

  • it is based upon an acute sense that a stranger

    這是奠基於敏銳的察覺,

  • could be dissatisfied or discomfited by us.

    覺得陌生人可能無法被我們滿足,或覺得不悅

  • The shy person is touchingly alive to the dangers of being a nuisance.

    害羞的人在感情上,要和一種自己可能成為討人厭的人的危險共生共存

  • Yet, in most cases,

    但在大部分的案例中,

  • we simply pay an unnecessarily heavy price, for our reserve around people

    我們就只是付出不必要的沉重代價,去逢迎人們,

  • who might well have opened their hearts to us

    而他們可能早已對我們敞開心胸,

  • if only we had known how to manifest our own benevolence.

    就只是因為我們不知該如何表明我們的善意

  • We cling too jealously to our province.

    我們太過度依賴我們的舒適圈

  • The pimply boy doesn't discover that he and the high school beauty

    長滿青春痘的男孩沒有發現到,他和高校的正妹,

  • share a taste in humour and a similarly painful relationship with their father;

    擁有對於幽默相同的喜好,還有對於自己父親也有相似的痛苦關係

  • Races and ages continue not to mingle, to their collective detriments.

    因為它們集合而成的損害,種族和年紀仍然不會融合在一起。

  • Shyness is a touching, yet ultimately excessive and unwarranted way of feeling special.

    羞怯是一種感觸,但最終它還是一樣多餘的、無理的自我感覺特別的心理。

Because shyness can grip us in such powerful ways, it's tempting to think of it as an immutable part of our emotional make-up.

因為羞怯對我們影響甚鉅,我們傾向把它視為一個在我們情感表現中,難以改變的部分。

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害羞讓你怯步不前?克服羞怯的方法 (How to Overcome Shyness)

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    mocation 發佈於 2017 年 05 月 10 日
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