HAVE A BABY ON THE WAY.

WE DON'T --

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

THANK YOU.

WE DON'T KNOW THE BABY'S GENDER,

WE LIKE THAT TO BE A SURPRISE.

I TOOK MY VIDEO CAMON MY PHONE,

WENT TO THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE.

WE DID GET A SURPRISE.

NOT A VERY GOOD SURPRISE.

>> EVERYTHING IS LOOKING GREAT.

THE DOCTOR WILL BE HERE SHORTLY.

>> Jimmy: THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

>> Jimmy: SO THIS IS YOUR

ULTRASOUND.

HOW MANY WEEKS, MOLLY?

>> 28.

>> Jimmy: 28 WEEKS.

AND THIS IS -- I MEAN, WE JUST

GOT TO LOOK AT YOU.

NOTHING COULD RUIN THIS MOMENT.

THIS IS VERY SPECIAL.

REALLY IS.

SO SWEET.

WE CAN'T WAIT --

>> SORRY I'M LATE.

>> Jimmy: WHAT ARE YOU DOING

HERE?

WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?

>> I DON'T KNOW.

>> Jimmy: WHAT IS THIS?

>> YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM IF.

>> Jimmy: TELL ME WHAT?

TELL ME WHAT?

>> I'M THE FATHER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

>> Jimmy: WHAT?

>> THE FATHER OF --

>> Jimmy: NO YOU'RE NOT.

THAT WOULD MEAN YOU HAVE TO HAVE

HAD --

>> WELL, DUH.

>> Jimmy: YOU PROMISED YOU WERE

GOING TO STOP [ BLEEP ]ING MY

GIRLFRIENDS!

>> SHE IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND.

>> Jimmy: SHE'S MY WIFE!

THAT'S WORSE, THAT'S ACTUALLY

WORSE!

MOLLY!

>> THIS IS BETWEEN YOU GUYS.

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO GET IN

THE MIDDLE OF THIS, IT'S NOT MY

BUSINESS.

>> Jimmy: OF COURSE IT'S YOUR

BUSINESS!

IT COULDN'T BE MORE OF YOUR

BUSINESS!

IT'S NOT HER BUSINESS.

>> IT'S NOT, YOU KNOW WHAT WE

SHOULD DO, LET THE BABY DECIDE.

>> Jimmy: DECIDE WHAT?

>> HELLO, BABY.

WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE A BOY OR

A GIRL.

BUT YOU HAVE A CHOICE OF

DADDIES.

>> Jimmy: RIGHT.

>> AND ONE DADDY COULD BE A EMMY

LOSER.

>> Jimmy: EMMY NOMINEE.

>> SAME THING.

OTHER DADDY COULD BE AN OSCAR

WINNER.

AN OSCAR WINNER, DO YOU WANT TO

PLAY WITH DADDY'S OSCAR?

>> Jimmy: IT WAS A WEAK YEAR.

DO YOU WANT A DADDY BABY WHO

MADE OUT WITH LIBERACE?

>> OKAY, WAIT A MINUTE.

THAT WAS ACTING.

>> YEAH, ACTING, RIGHT.

>> WHAT'S GOING ON?

>> Jimmy: WHO ARE YOU?

>> I'M HER DOCTOR.

>> Jimmy: OH, I'M SORRY,

DOCTOR --

>> I'M THE FATHER.

>> Jimmy: HE'S SAYING HE'S THE

FATHER.

>> THERE'S A SIMPLE WAY TO

SETTLE THIS, DO A TEST.

>> Jimmy: I'LL DO A TEST.

>> I'LL DO A TEST.

>> TODAY ON AN ALL-NEW "MAURY."

JIMMY HAS BEEN MARRIED TO MOLLY

FOR FOUR YEARS.

BUT JIMMY'S MORTAL ENEMY, MATT

DAMON, THINKS HE'S THE FATHER OF

MOLLY'S UNBORN BABY.

>> I'M THE FATHER, JIMMY.

THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE.

>> Jimmy: BUCKLE IT!

>> ANOTHER OUTRAGEOUS "MAURY" IS

ABOUT TO BEGIN.

>> EVERYONE, WELCOME MOLLY,

MATT, AND JIMMY.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

JIMMY BELIEVES HE'S THE FATHER

OF MOLLY'S BABY.

MATT SAYS HE'S THE BABY DADDY.

DY TELL YOU YOU NEEDED A

SCORECARD?

SO DOES THE HOST.

LET'S TAKE A LOOK.

>> MAURY, THERE'S NO WAY JIMMY

IS THE FATHER OF MOLLY'S BABY,

HE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A

[ BLEEP ]!

>> Jimmy: IF MATT IS THE FATHER

OF MOLLY'S BABY, I WILL SUE HIM,

I WILL SUE MOLLY, I WILL SUE

MAURY, I'LL SUE THE BABY.

I WILL SUE!

>> SUCH STUPID WORDS.

MATT, WHY DO YOU THINK YOU'RE

THE FATHER?

PLEASE USE THE LOUDEST VOICE

POSSIBLE.

>> OKAY, IT'S OBVIOUS, ALL

RIGHT?

I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS.

LOOK AT THE NOSE.

I MEAN, THAT'S OBVIOUSLY MY KID.

>> Jimmy: THAT'S NOT A NOSE,

THAT'S THE BABY'S PENIS, HE

DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A PENIS IS!

HOW IS HE HAVING A BABY?

I DON'T THINK SO, I DON'T THINK

SO!

>> JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE A

[ BLEEP ] DOESN'T MEAN --

>> Jimmy: OH!

>> LET'S GET THIS AND FIND OUT

THE RESULTS OF THE PATERNITY

TEST!

>> Jimmy: IS THAT WHY YOU WANTED

MY PEE?

>> NO, THAT WAS SOMETHING ELSE.

MATT, WHEN IT COMES TO MOLLY'S

BABY, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!

>> Jimmy: YAY!

YEAH, YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER,

YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!

LOOK AT THAT, RIGHT THERE,

THAT'S THE FATHER, YEAH!

YEAH!

WHOO!

WHOA!

THAT'S NOT THE FATHER!

YEAH!

>> I CAN'T BELIEVE WE HAD THAT

MUCH SEX AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN GET

PREGNANT BY ME.

>> SORRY.

>> Jimmy: YOU DIDN'T, YOU

DIDN'T!

>> WELL, JIMMY, I HAVE A LITTLE

NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU ARE ALSO NOT THE FATHER!

>> Jimmy: WHAT?

OH, OH!

>> AH, AH, AH!

OH, YEAH, OH, YEAH.

YEAH, YEAH, WHAT'S UP NOW!

WAIT A MINUTE, WHO'S THE FATHER?

>> WHO IS THE FATHER?

>> MOLLY, WHEN IT COMES TO YOUR

UNBORN BABY --

>> GUESS WHO'S COMING TO DINNER!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

>> YOU ARE THE FATHER!

>> Jimmy: WHAT?

>> I'M THE BABY'S DADDY.

COME HERE, COME HERE.

>> Jimmy: IS THIS TRUE?

>> HOW COULD EITHER OF YOU

SATISFY ME WHEN AWE YOU WILL

REALLY WANT IS EACH OTHER?

>> GUYS, IT'S BEEN OBVIOUS FOR

YEARS.

>> EVERYONE KNOWS.

>> TRACY, DID YOU HAVE SOMETHING

ELSE TO TELL SINUS.

>> THAT'S RIGHT, I DO.

I'M PREGNANT TOO.

>> WHAT?

>> WITH MAURY'S BABY!

>> Jimmy: WHOA.

>> WHOA!

>> WHOA, I HATE CHILDREN!

WHEN WE COME BACK, JIMMY FACES

HIS FEAR OF BALLOONS.

>> Jimmy: NO, NO!

>> HE'S A BITCH.

>> HE'S A BITCH.

>> YOU ARE.

>> HE'S A BITCH.

>> ON THE NEXT EPISODE OF MAURY,

GUILLERMO THINKS HIS MOM DRESSES

TOO SEXY.

>> MOM, I THINK YOU DRESS TOO

SEXY.

>> I THINK THAT THEY LIKE IT.

>> TOMORROW ON "MAURY."

>> Jimmy: THANKS TO TRACY MORGAN

AND RYAN SHORT.

MATT DAMON HAS A NEW MOVIE CALL

THE "THE GREAT WALL" OPENING