新舊對比：灰姑娘--懷舊評論家篇。 (Old vs New: Cinderella - Nostalgia Critic)

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[Theme song]
Hellooo, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to.
And welcome to another edition of Old vs. New.
It's the fairy tale that teaches kids all around the world
that it doesn't matter what you look like or where you come from,
as long as you work hard and have a kind heart,
you too, can get a makeover.
Cinderella is a tale that's been told countless times,
but the most definitive version belonged to Disney Animations in 1950.
So it only figured when you have a money maker so iconic that it's cemented in everybody's memory,
you remake it 65 years later!
To much surprise though, not only were there big names and astounding visuals,
but it also got quite the critical backing, too, with people praising it for being such a stylized update!
But as always, which one is better?
Which one feels the most engaging, clever and all around magical?
Now, of course, being of the NOSTALGIC persuasion, I have a little bit of a leaning towards the old.
*Whimsically* If only I could wish for someone who had an opposite opinion of me...
*With slightly more force* If only I could wish for someone who had an opposite opinion of me...
If only I could-- WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!
Hyper Fangirl: Sorry! This thing's really hard to walk in.
Critic: Christ, even when I WANT you in a video you can't get it right!
Hyper: Hey! Give me a chance, I have whimsical support on this one.
Critic: Yeah? Who?
[EXPLOSION HOLY MOTHER OF SOCKS]
"Answer": DEVIL BONER!!!!!!
Critic: Oh, great, what whimsical support can YOU offer?
Devil: Hey, I can get in touch with my feminine side!
Watch! Sparkles!!
Butterflies!!
EXPLOSIONS!!
Hyper: No.
Devil: No? O-okay, no explosions. No explosions. But, um...ponies?
P-PONIES!
Critic: (sighs) How are you two still a thing?
Devil: What can I say? I love a woman that writes fanfiction about me.
Hyper: Oh, and we both held you hostage that one time. So we have that in common
Devil: You did it better. Hyper: You did!
Devil: No, you did Hyper: You did! (repeats)
Critic:*clears throat* Hyper, isn't Benny gonna feel weird that you have another outlet for mindless violence?
Hyper: Oh, come on! He's a professional assassin. This kind of thing doesn't bother people like him
(sad piano music)
Benny: It's nothing, Benny. Nothing. Just add her to the list.
Critic: Okay, are you gonna debate me on these Cinderella movies or not?
Hyper: There is no debating. The new one is better,
if for no other reason that the lead actress had to lose two ribs to fit into that dress.
Critic: But it's so sexist and bland.
Hyper: The ORIGINAL is sexist and bland!
Critic: You just like it 'cause there's more flashy sparkles
to play to your inner five-year-old. You're a flaky-flaley-flashy-holic!
Devil: What did you call her?
Hyper: Honey! Honey! I'm gonna do the crossover. Why don't you go start a war with a random country?
Devil: Ooh! I get to use my random war generator!
Jamaica it is!
Critic: So, Hyper, are you ready to be proven wrong once again?
Hyper: The day you start being right.
Critic: Let's do Cinderella: Old vs. New.
Critic: Sometimes a prince leaves no impact on you, whatsoever.
Hyper: Dude! Too soon...
Critic: I was talking about the royal position!
Hyper: And I'm not.
Critic: *sigh* He's the arm-candy of our main character's dreams
Let's take a look at best prince.
Critic: While a lot of people give flack to some Disney princesses for not having enough character,
people forget the princes often weren't even given TIME to have character.
Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and- yes- Cinderella, all have princes with only a handful of lines.
Hyper: And where the one from Sleeping Beauty fought a dragon
and the one from Snow White saves her from death,
this one yaaaawwnnns.
Critic: Ok, Look, this was a different time. A time when...
Hyper: Yawning was an attractive trait?
Critic: I don't think you're taking into account how sexy that yawn was.
Hyper: Heck, his father gets more screen time than this. So does his servant for that matter.
Critic: Yes, yes but... through them we're discovering the prince's character
and they're also relaying the chemistry between our two romantic leads an-
Hyper: You got nothing. Critic: I got nothing
Hyper: Now, with the remake, not only is the prince given a lot more onscreen time
but there's also more time to develop their chemistry
Cinderella and him meet before the ball and they have time to talk like normal people
and build and appreciation of each other.
Even during the ball, they talk and share experiences that help them build a stronger connection.
She doesn't just see him and declare, "This is love!" like in the original
Critic: *sarcasm* I wouldn't know anybody who did that.
Hyper: I've moved on Critic, I found a more sensible love.
Devil: Hey babe, it turns out it's easy to start a war in this place.
You just tell'em Cool Runnings is a 100% true story!
Devil: Will do. AAAAAHHH!!! (gun shots)
Critic: Okay, so maaybe this prince has more charm, more personality, more screen time
more chemistry and preeetty much more of a connection with everyone he comes in contact with
but there is one thing that prince does NOT have.
Critic: A shit ton of eyeliner!
Hyper: Dude, again, too soon!
Critic: Just take the point.
Hyper: After you give him an apology.
*sigh*
He's waiting.
Disney has always created the greatest villains.
And what's scarier than a middle-aged woman who's obsessed with housework?!
Hyper: Virtually anything!
Critic: This is best villain.
Critic: This one is rough because it really is like comparing apples to oranges.
Hyper: Well, to Snow White that's an easy choice.
Critic: The original is said by many to be one of the greatest Disney villains ever.
With her style, grace and love of all the villainous things she does.
The only downside is that it's only explained in narration why she doesn't like Cinderella,
because of this, it's a little harder to identify with her motivation.
Hyper: In the new film, we see how her bitterness is born. She hears her husband confess that he preferred
the first wife more. Which makes her angry towards his offspring all the more understandable.
We also see her slowly lure Cinderella into the role of servant
showing how patient and manipulative she can be.
Critic: The downside to that is, it may make her too human by comparison.
Which one is more frightening?
The one's that motivations are made totally clear?
Or the one shrouded in mystery, you're supposed to have no sorrow for.
The original was so slimy and hateful; there was virtually no good in her at all,
while the new one is so fragile and relatable that you can see the tragedy
play out in every mean spirited move she makes.
The original acts like someone in control
while the remake acts like someone who wants to be in control.
Hyper: I guess it's kindd like comparing Zuko with Frollo.
Boy, one of them needs a breakfast cereal.
One is sympathetic while the other is pure evil,
both still coming off as complex and interesting.
So how do we really judge which one is best?
Critic: Well, I guess whichever one scares up the most is the most intimidating.
Hyper: Well, I guess that speech that the new one made in the dark is creepy in it's own righ-
(BOOM)
WAH! Uh..! But the new one has the mind of a sociopath which is very psychologically terrifyin-
(BOOM)
AAHH! But the new one has a more developed past! Allowing her to-
(BOOM)
OKAY! She wins!
God, that look is scary.
Critic: *chuckles* Some people can't just handle a good old fashion death glare.
(BOOM)
DAH! You whore!
Hyper: Remember, I can point just as hard as you.
Critic: Yeah, we seem to have unbelievable power with this, don't we?
(BOOM's repeating)
*both scream*
Hyper: Never forget...
Critic: Hey Hyper, by any chance, are you of Indian decent?
Hyper: No? Why?
(funky battle music)
(battle music
(gunshot)
(bullet ricochets)
Devil: There's twenty metal plate in my head
The only downside is, I don't know what half the words beginning with 's' means.
Ask me the definition of seagull.
Hyper: What's the definition of seagull?
Devil: Stop making up words, honey!
Benny: You don't get it.
When you hire an assassin, you use ONLY him.
For life.
Devil: No YOU don't understand.
When you have a review already full of a ton of estrogen.
Critic: HEY!
Devil: And the good looking half of that estrogen is threatened
you awaken a demon that will not sleep into the nigh-
Oh, by the way honey, I got you a hat.
Hyper: *gasp* Thank you so much, woobles!
Devil: No problem, babe.
Into the niiiiggght.
Benny: You might be good with a gun
but you're nothing compared to my stealth.
Devil: HAH! I can see you coming a mile awa-
I was looking RIGHT AT him.
How did he do that?
Hyper: Is something wrong, possum-bear?
Devil: Nothing, heart-eater.
You and your lady-friend keep talking princesses
Critic: *disgruntled* Stop calling me that.
Devil: I have to bury my bullets in bloody bastard that I bet!
Hyper: NO!
Devil: No?
Hyper: This one has more bullets!
Devil: I love you, skull-crusher!
Hyper: I love you, turtle-duck!
*kisses and screams with gunshots*
Hyper: Back to the debate!
Critic: *whining* But.... that all sounded amazing!
Hyper: Critic...!
Critic: *angrily* Okay, fine! This is best side character!
(distant explosions and gunfire)
*whines*
Hyper: Although everyone remembers the talking mice in the original, they're very scaled down in the remake,
to the point where they don't even speak.
Critic: A different tone to say the least,
but everybody looves the singing mice and their...
"Leave the sewing to the women!"
slightly sexist lines.
HEY! Stallone knitted a sweater!
But c'mon, who could forget Lucifer, the cat?
Or the horse? Or the dog?
The king and servants? The stepsisters?
These are character we all remember.
Hyper: Yes, you remember them because there's a ton of time devoted to them.
Too much time.
In the remake, the supporting cast stays exactly that: supportive.
In the original, they hijack the movie on several occasions.
While they're cute and all, they take time away from the more important elements like the prince,
and the chemistry that's supposed to build between him and Cinderella.
Critic: But hey! You were talking about how the king gets way too much time in the old one
he gets just as much time in the new one!
Hyper: Yes but it's with the prince.
Every scene with him is helping develop the prince's character even more
establishing his responsibilities, his goals, and his connection with his father.
We never even see the prince and his father in the original, apart from the eye roll.
Critic: But again, it was a very passionate eye roll.
Critic: I suppose that last big one to talk about is the Fairy Godmother.
In the new one she's played more for laughs because
well, she's Helena Bonham Carter and... that's what you do with her now.
Hyper: But you have to admit, some comedy is VERY welcomed after Cinderella's at her lowest moment.
And also, she has to prove her worth by disguising herself as a homeless lady looking for water.
And it's only after Cinderella gives it to her that she grants all her wishes.
Critic: But isn't that kind of pointless?
She has to know she's a kind person if she's showing up there
I mean, watching her like a GOD MOTHER?!
Hyper: Maybe but have you figured this?
Cinderella is in shambles: she can't go to the ball, her dress is ruined, and her family hates her.
Most people in that state would be too frustrated to be nice to the old woman
so by helping someone else, even in one of her worst moments, it cements what a good person she is.
Critic: I guess but I don't know. The old one talks to her like a loving grandparent.
Someone she's familiar with enough to know she would do that anyway she has a warmth in a comfort that
needs to be seen after such hardship.
I wouldn't want to laugh after going through all this!
I would want to feel supported and after years of slaving for your family, suddenly being put to a test
to see if you're a nice person, does not seem very supportive!!!
Hyper: Okay, maybe the fairy godmother is a little better in the original
Critic: Did I mention she's a liar too?
"And you'll find they're really comfortable."
I got glass sneakers because of her!
THEY HURT!!!!
Hyper: But the fact remains that the supporting cast does more than support
They take over. They steal scenes that shouldn't have to be stolen by them.
While there's still focus on Cinderella and the stepmother,
other important elements are being overlooked
and the new film keeps the focus where it should be.
The main characters stay main characters and supporting roles stay the supporting roles.
Critic: *sigh* I guess I can't really fault you on that.
New gets the point.
Hyper: You forgot a heartless Prince joke
Critic: Shut up.
But as simple as a story is there's always room too muck it up
Trust me, Disney's done it before.
This is which one mucked it up less.
The funny thing about a simple story is that can be surprisingly tough to tell.
You want to connect with the characters in a relatable set up but even in an hour and a half
you have to know what to expand on and what to keep limitied
Hyper: Like said before, the first film expands too much on the side characters
and not enough on some main ones.
Critic: But in the new film's case the attention to add more detail can help some scenes
but seriously damaged others.
For example: when Cinderella's not allowed to sit at the table with the others
it's when she realizes she's truly not a part of the family causing her to finally break down
This is a powerful scene and all but it then ruins the moment when her dress is destroyed.
Or... slightly ripped?
Yeah... that's- that's a gut wrenching moment.
But even if they did it like the original it wouldn't work because we got the breakdown earlier.
Because of this, the arrival the fairy godmother is not as powerful.
In the animated one, it's by far her lowest moment because they knew to save it.
Thus, you feel more emotion for her and even more relief when the fairy godmother arrives.
Hyper: But the story does allow for other emotional moments that weren't in the first.
The king, for example, is given a lot of time with his son and when he passes away, it's a legitimate sad moment.
The ways they allow Cinderella and Prince to meet before the ball are also very clever,
giving them more time to form a connection.
Critic: The problem with THAT is every single time she leaves the house.
it makes her for a slightly less magical night when she goes to the ball.
Cinderella goes to the town and quite a few other places, several times int the new one.
Which is fine but in the original everything she does is in that one location
It's a nice location so it's not visually dull but that's all you ever see.
The story is very clever in keeping her there, as not only does it emphasized the feeling of being imprisoned
but also the freedom when she DOES leave and enters this heavenly, dream-like castle.
Therefore, we're more sucked into the experience because, like her, it's our first time seeing it
Hyper: Yeah! But all the wasted time with the side characters!
Critic: Yeah but all the time wasted on the unneeded exposition.
Hyper: But everything in the original so obvious!
Critic: And this one isn't?
Gee, I wonder what the message was again!
"Have courage and be kind" (repeating)
"Be kind." "And have courage."
Hyper: Fine. I guess there's both good things and bad thing about them.
Critic: Yeah... I guess it just depends if you're looking for more mystery or more explaination.
So... what we do in this case?
Hyper: Can there be at tie?
Critic: A TIE?
That's for pussies who don't believe some animals are more equal than others.
Hyper: There's pros and cons to both, I don't think we're gonna find one that's better than the other.
Critic: *sigh* Okay, I guess we can have a tie. But I'm not gonna let this choice destroy my masculinity
nor anything else in the rest of this video!
(intense battle music)
(bullet shot and ricochet)
(bullet shot and ricochet)
(bullet shot and ricochet)
(bullet shot and ricochet)
Devil: AAAAAHHHHHH!! (bullet shot and ricochet)
(bullet shot and ricochet)
(swelling music)
(explosion)
Devil: DAAAAHHH!! (bullet shot and ricochet)
Alright buddy, you wanna play dirty?
Well time to play with Johnson Justice!
Benny: Holy mother of Go-
Critic: God knows we've talked about pretty much everything you can talk about
but there is one last element to discuss, the most important element of the movie.. main character!
This is the best Cinderella!
Hyper: Now this one you KNOW you have to give to the remake.
It's like everyone says, this Cinderella is stronger, more independent, more intelligent
and more developed than that simple songbird who practically just did nothing in the first film.
The audiences liked her! The critics liked her!
C'mon, this is hands down the winner.
Critic: Well, I would agree with you if it wasn't for one solitary fact.
Hyper: What's that?
Critic: You're all full of shit.
What makes Cinderella independent?
Hyper: Well, she leaves the house, goes into town and has smart conversations with the prince.
Critic: Hmm.. so she could leave the house at any time, why does she stay there and take all that abuse?
Hyper: Well, like she says, it's her father's home.
"Because I made my mother and father a promise- to cherish the place we were so happy in."
Critic: OH! Is that why she end up leaving at the end anyway!
And even if it was her father's home why go through all that hardship just for that?!
Hyper: Well... okay. It doesn't quite make sense but the one in the other film could leave too!
Critic: Not really.
You see, in the original, the father died when she was just a child.
This gives the stepmother plenty of time to brainwash her and make her think she's supposed to
feel guilty and serve her family.
And seeing how she was kept in the home all that time,
this indicates she doesn't know much about how the real world works.
She talks to rats and BIRDS for crying out loud!
In the new one, the father dies when she's an adult, she leaves all the time, in fact her friends-
yeah, she has friends in this one!
say she should leave that place!
"Why do you stay there when they treat you so?
"They loved our house and now that they're gone, I love it for them."
So this makes absolutely no sense.
By attempting to make her quote, SMARTER and independent,
they actually opened up a ton of plot holes making her look dumber and weaker.
Hyper: Okay, so she's not the brightest one in Hogwarts
But! You have to admit she's stronger! She's not as passive as the animated one.
Critic: Really.
In the original, she felt stuck in her position but she clearly didn't like it.
She did angry. She DID have her breaking points.
Even though she was taught over the years to be a certain way she was still human and relatable.
This one, aside from her one big breakdown, which they tried to do twice
She just kind of smiles and looks happy like a zombie most of the time.
In fact, in the animated one when it comes to being locked in the attic and held against her will,
she does try to get out!
She hits the door! She screams! She asks her animal friends for help.
She does everything she can to get out of there.
In the new one, she fully accepts her doom and just spins around in circles, humming to herself.
Yeah. This is the strong independent role model the critics were talking about.
She actually escapes by MISTAKE when the animals open up the window and they hear her voice.
That's not strong. That's the definition of giving off while also being saved by luck!
Hyper: But! Uhh... she's so charming!
Critic: No. She's not allowed to be because they're focusing more on her being "smart and independent".
People miss what makes a strong character is how they deal with their flaws, their fears,
their turmoil, their troubles that get in the way.
That's what makes them relatable but this Cinderella doesn't have any flaws.
At least, none that they'll acknowledge!
You could argue that she's too passive but what does she do to solve that?
Let someone else save the day and not even try!
This Cinderella and we gave a shit because while having a character be strong is good,
it's more important to have them interesting first.
This character is not interesting.
I'm not going to act like the original is the best written character but you felt her pain, you understood her anger
& you cheered for her when things went right because she allowed you to see her most fragile moments.
Hyper: But...! But... HER DRESS! It look so amazing!!
Critic: And that's why you're falling for it. It looks the part and sounds the part but it's not portraying the part.
It's like the two Charlies from the Willy Wonka movies
One is an emotional yet, dreamful kid and the other is Jesus.
We're obviously going to relate to the one that acts more like a real kid because we all were real kids!
We all can relate to that!
It's the same thing here. It doesn't matter what you claim she is or isn't
if you don't connect with her, there's no emotion.
And this movie has made it impossible to connect with her because they try to make her flawless.
Ironically creating, unintentional flaws with her that are never acknowledged or resolved.
Hyper: But! HER DRESS!!!!
Critic: Point goes to the old!
Hyper: AAAWW, IT'S SO SPARKLEY!!!!
Critic: So! With everything wrapped up, let's see who the winner is.
(sad trombone)
Another tie?!?!
What the hell, man! We can't end like this!
Hyper: Yeah!! We need to find the best Cinderella movie!
(explosion)
Devil: YEAH-HA!!
Didn't expect old Johnson Justice, did'ya?!
(Benny groans
Now, open you're mouth. I'm gonna give you the finishing blow!
Hyper: Honey-raisin, can you help us settle a dispute?
Devil: Oh, this still you're little book club going on?
Critic: *strained* I swear to God...
Hyper: We're trying to decide what's the better Cinderella film: the original or the remake.
Devil: Really? You're asking me this, right now?
Critic: Answer the question! Cartoon or remake!
Hyper: YEAH! (clank) The cartoon or the remake?!
Devil: Ever After.
Critic: The Drew Barrymore movie?
Devil: Yeah! I mean... There's nothing wrong with it!
It's cool, it's smart, it's got sword fighting,
Morticia Addams is the stepmother,
Hell, even Cinderella does a little fighting.
Yeah, there's no magic but... I hate that shit!
I got Johnson Justice.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna finish what I star-
Dammit! How does he keep doing that?!
Critic: Benny! What's your favorite Cinderella movie?!
Benny: Oh. Uh...
Ever After.
Devil: Whaaaaat?
(clank)
Benny: The writing is clever, the characters are interesting, the villain is fun
And there's just enough changes to keep it fresh but stay true to the heart of the story.
Critic: Actually, the more I think about it... it IS a really good Cinderella story.
Hyper: Yeeah... like REALLY good.
Critic: Cinderella's strong but interesting
Hyper: The villain is evil but also intriguing.
Critic: There's plenty of action and adventure...
Hyper: but good romance and dress porn!
Critic: We should just pick that one!
Hyper: Are we allowed?
Critic: Yeah! Why not?
I mean, I think everybody can agree the two Cinderella movies have pros and cons
and everyone's just gonna kinda like the version they like.
But... Ever After is clearly better!
Hyper: Yeah! Let's do it. Let's give it to Ever After!
Critic: You got it! The best Cinderella movie is Ever After
because it's my show and I can do whatever the goddamn hell I want.
Well, that certainly was an interesting discussion and with a twist ending
Hyper: Yeah but what do we do now?
Benny: I don't know. It seems a little weird to kill a fellow Ever After fan.
Devil: There's only one incredibly manly thing to do in this situation.
(clank)
Benny: Siri, play Ever After.
(classical music)
Critic: Once again, the magic of Angelica Huston unites us all.
Devil: Now, this is how REAL men spend their Friday nights.
Hyper: Hey!
Devil: Oh. Don't worry, buzzsaw, you're an honorary dude tonight.
Hyper: Thanks. <3
Devil: Sooo, was she drunk during this movie too?
Benny: I'm not entirely sure. I'm just glad she actually DOES something
Hyper: Her dress isn't as good but it's pretty badass.
Devil: Isn't it usually the other way around?
Like, you start off sober and then you get drunk as you get older?
Hyper: I'm always drunk.
Benny: It's never too girly.
Devil: Where is Angelica Huston?
Like, I know she's right in front of me, don't get me wrong but I mean, just... the actress, where'd she go?
Hyper: Jamaica, I think.
Devil: Oh. Uhh, she might not be there anymore
Benny: Ooh...
Devil: I was kind of wondering what, uh... old, white woman was doing there.
Hyper: Babe....
Devil: I'm sooorry! Hyper: It's okay.
It's not like they were gonna do Adam Sandler 3.
"Leave the sewing to the women!"
Next week we take a look and see if there's still really white washing.
But you can see it now under Vessel's ad-free early aecess.
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Check it out and get the early scoop.
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