Good evening.

各位晚上好

I'm teen heartthrob Neil Patrick Harris.

我是青少年偶像殺手尼爾．派屈克．哈里斯

It's an honor to be back hosting the 65th Annual Tony Awards

很榮幸能回來主持第65屆東尼獎頒獎典禮

and I'd like to deliver a very important message on behalf of all of us who care so deeply about this community.

我希望在今天代表萬分重視這圈子的所有人，傳達一則非常重要的訊息

If you've seen a show, then you already know how magical theater can be.

如果你看過一場百老匯，那麼你便了解舞台表演多麽驚人

It's a two-hour, live-action, barely affordable, un-lip-synced version of "Glee."

它是個兩小時、快要付不起的真人演出，又如同不對嘴的《歡樂合唱團》

So, this song goes out to the rest of you--

所以，這首歌獻給你們—

those who've never seen theater before--

那些沒看過舞台劇的人們

because Broadway has never been broader--

因為百老匯從沒這麼開放過—

it's not just for gays anymore!

不只有同志可以參與了！

If you feel like someone that this world excludes,

如果你覺得自己被世界孤立

it's no longer only for dudes who like dudes.

百老匯不再只給喜歡男生的男生

Attention every breeder, your invited to the theater.

注意了各位，你被邀請來看劇

It's not just for gays anymore.

他不再只是給同志參與了！

The glamour of Broadway is beckoning straights—

百老匯的魅力向異性戀招手

the people who marry in all 50 states.

那些在 50 州皆可以結婚的人們

We're asking every hetero to get to know us better-o.

我們希望每個異性戀者都能更瞭解我們

It's not just for gays anymore!

它不再只屬於同性戀了！

It's for fine, upstanding Christians who know all the songs from Grease.

它是給那些會唱《Grease》所有歌曲的優秀傑出基督徒

It's for sober-minded businessmen who yearn for some release.

它是給想要偶爾放鬆的沉著冷靜商人們

So, put down your Playboy and go make a plan

那就放下你的《花花公子》雜誌，然後開始計劃

to pick up a Playbill and feel like a man.

買張節目單，表現得像男人吧！

There's so much to discover with your different-gendered lover.

那裡有好多東西等著你與你的異性伴侶去發掘

it's not just for gays, the gays and the Jews,

它不只屬於同志！同志和猶太族！

and cousins in from out of town you have to amuse,

和那些你必須取悅的，來自遠方的表兄弟姊妹

and the sad, embittered malcontents who write the reviews,

和那些寫評論的可憐、憤怒酸民

and also foreign tourists, and the groups of senior citizens,

還有外國遊客、長者團體、

and well-to-do suburbanites, and liberal intellectuals

富有的鄉巴佬及慷慨的知識份子

—though that group is really only Jews and homosexuals—

— 不過那群人大多都是猶太人跟同性戀 —

I've lost my train of thought.

我的思緒被打亂了

Oh yes, it's not just for gays anymore.

喔對，它不再只屬於同性戀了！

See what I'm talking about?

懂我在說什麼了吧！

Thank you.

謝謝

Wow! You can smell the testosterone in the room, can't you?

哇！你簡直可以聞到空氣中的睪酮，不是吧？

Look at this place—it's full of straight people.

看看這裡 — 這裡充滿異性戀者！

Angela Lansbury, you're super-hot. Those things real?

安吉拉．蘭斯伯里！妳超辣的，那些是真的嗎？

Stephen Colbert, you're straight as they come.

史提芬．荷伯，你超級異性戀的啊！

Any thoughts?

有什麼想法嗎？

I enjoy the theater.

我享受舞台劇

I've enjoyed it all my life.

一生中都是如此

I enjoy it with my female woman wife.

我跟我的女性老婆一起享受它

Nice. Don't we all, don't we all Stephen. Look at this, it's amazing!

太棒了，我們不都一樣嗎，史提芬。你看，太棒了！

Look at all these straight people. James Earl Jones, you're straight.

你看這些異性戀！詹姆斯．厄爾．瓊斯，你是異性戀

Vanessa Redgrave, you're straight.

凡妮莎．蕾格烈芙，妳也是異性戀

Joe Mantello—thanks for coming.

喬．曼特洛，呃，謝謝你來

Hey, Christie Brinkley is here, that's fanta-

克里斯蒂・布琳克莉也在這，太棒 —

Brooke Shields, you're super-hot.

布魯克．雪德絲，妳超級辣的

You made me think I was straight for like, 23 years.

妳讓我有 23 年的時間以為自己是直男

Any comments?

有什麼評論嗎？

When I'm up on stage, there's (are a...mumble mumble)

當我在台上，那裡有 ...

I'm gonna try that again.

我再試一次

When I'm up on stage, there are some...

當我在台上，那裡有一些 ...

I don't know what I'm doing, oh my god!

我不知道自己在幹嘛，喔天啊！

When I'm up on stage

當我在台上

there's lots of men who like to watch.

那裡有很多男人很愛看

In fact, one guy sent a Twit-pic of his crotch.

事實上，有一次一個男人傳了一張胯下的照片給我

Nice. It was worth it.

很好，它值得了

Totally improvised!

完全是即興的！

You too? Bono! Yeah. What's going on? You see! You'll feel right at home here on Broadway everyone!

你也是嗎？最近如何？你看！百老匯會讓你感覺像在家一樣

Look at all these straight people. Al Pacino!

你看這些異性戀者。艾爾．帕西諾！

You're way too famous to participate in this bit.

你太有名了，不能參與這段

Hey!

嘿！

Look who's here, Bobby Cannavale, you're here!

你看誰也來了，鮑比．坎納瓦爾！

What say you? 5 6 7 8

你有什麼要說呢？五、六、七、八

Broadway touches parts of me

百老匯觸碰到我

that never have been touched.

不曾被觸碰的地方

I love it very [CENSORED] much.

我非常 *嗶——* 愛它

Right, well said! Well said, sir. Wow!

說得很棒，先生。哇！

I mean, come on, isn't it fabulous...

看嘛，這一切不是太完美了嗎 ...

I mean, isn't it awesome?

我是說，它可不是棒極了嗎？

We've got swarms of Mormons, showgirls, sailors

我們有一群摩門教徒、廣告女郎、水手、

dancing boys and nuns

跳舞的男孩及修女

plus a Spider facing, death-defying budget over-runs.

加上一個長得像是蜘蛛人的玩命預算超支

So, people from Red states, and people from Blue,

所以，共和黨人也好，民主黨人也罷

a big Broadway rainbow is waiting for you.

百老匯畫出了一道彩虹等待你

Come in and be inspired, there's no sodomy required.

來接受啟發吧，不要求雞姦哦

Cause it's not just for gays, it's not just for gays—

因為不只屬於同志，不只屬於同志

we'd be twice as proud to have you if you go both ways—

你如果是雙性戀我們會更驕傲

Broadway is not just for gays anymore!

百老匯不再只是屬於同性戀了！

[WOW]

哇

So there's that...

那個結束了

We have a great show in store for you tonight.

我們今晚為各位準備了非常精彩的表演

We are live on Broadway from the Beacon Theater.

我們現在在百老匯的燈塔劇院

Beautiful, right?

很美吧？

Look at this place. Subtle. Understated. Just the way I like it.

你看看這裡，低調、保守，跟我喜歡的一樣

Little known fact, everything here, IKEA.

告訴你們一個冷知識：所有的東西都出自宜家家居。

There's one tiny allen wrench....

用一個小板手裝上 ...