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  • Nowadays, we're pretty tough on people who have a certain kind of fear.

    現代人不大能容忍有某種恐懼的人們。

  • People who are afraid of getting close.

    害怕與他人親近的人。

  • People who need to sit alone for quite a long time every day.

    每天需要獨處很長一段時間的人。

  • People who don't always find it easy to say what's on their minds.

    不太能吐露心事的人。

  • People who need their space.

    需要自己的空間的人。

  • We say these sort of people have got a fear of intimacy, and that's not a good thing to have.

    我們說這些人害怕親密感,而這不是件好事。

  • It can get you in trouble.

    這可能會造成問題。

  • But criticizing the fear of intimacy doesn't seem right or very productive at all.

    但對於「恐懼親密感」指指點點不僅不對,還沒意義。

  • We'd be far better off with a different approach.

    面對這件事,我們有更好的方法。

  • For a start, if someone is scared of something, it's never a great idea just to say they're silly and that there's nothing to be worried about.

    首先,如果有人害怕某件事,說他們愚蠢、說這沒甚麼好怕的,都不是個好主意。

  • It's a lot more effective to say: We're a bit scared too, and that it's actually normal to worry.

    更好的說法是 : 其實我們也有點怕,會擔心是正常的。

  • Then, it is a good idea to try to understand the fear.

    然後,我們該去了解這種恐懼。

  • Where has it come from?

    恐懼是從哪來的呢?

  • There's almost always a history to someone who is afraid of intimacy.

    這些故事總是說來話長。

  • A history where getting close to other people got them hurt, so that closeness has become a problem.

    過去,他們曾因親密的人而受傷,因此「親密」成了問題。

  • We should also take on board just how much of life is about not being intimate.

    我們也應該想想,人的生命中有多少時間是「不親密」的。

  • From an early age we're taught we need to be strong, independent and brave.

    從小我們學習要堅強、獨立、勇敢。

  • We need to hide our emotions, not say how we're feeling, bottle up what's going on inside.

    隱藏自己的情緒、不輕易吐露心事、將真實的自己藏起來。

  • It is no wonder we sometimes find it hard to change gear, and become masters at the art of intimacy.

    怪不得,有時我們覺得很難改變自己,很難學習與人親密這門藝術。

  • It's not surprising if we should get a bit stuck and not quite know what to do with the request to say exactly how we feel.

    也難怪在別人希望我們吐露心聲時,我們會卡關。

  • We've been out in the world too long.

    我們在這個世界生活太久了。

  • We're battle-hardened and just not used to it.

    我們被戰役洗練得剛毅冷血,不再習慣親密感。

  • We might need a little time.

    我們或許需要一點時間。

  • So let's go easy on those with a fear of intimacy.

    我們應該溫柔對待那些懷有「親密恐懼」的人們。

  • They're not bad people.

    他們不是壞人。

  • They just find a difficult thing tricky, and we should be on hand to help them with gentleness and understanding.

    他們只是仍在面對問題,而我們應該在一旁用溫柔及理解來幫助他們。

Nowadays, we're pretty tough on people who have a certain kind of fear.

現代人不大能容忍有某種恐懼的人們。

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A2 初級 中文 英國腔 親密 親密感 吐露 隱藏 學習 戰役

【The School of Life】對親密的恐懼 (The Fear of Intimacy)

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