Expect that most things are going to go wrong: marriage, job, holidays, kids.

預想事情結果會不盡人意，像是婚姻、工作、假期與小孩。

Look at the glass half empty, and then feel grateful whenever things aren't an outright catastrophe.

看看這杯半滿的水，只要事情不是完全一場災難，就該感到知足感恩。

2. Stop ranting about how awful other people are.

第二，不再怒罵他人一無是處。

Most annoying people aren't evil, they're just anxious or sad.

許多惹人厭的人並不邪惡，他們只是很焦慮或悲傷。

Forgive them.

原諒他們吧！

They didn't set out to hurt you, they're just under a lot of pressure.

他們不是刻意要傷害你，他們只是身負極大的壓力。

3. Think of death a lot.

第三，多想想死亡。

Keep a skull on your table.

放顆頭顱在桌上吧。

You've probably only got about four hundred thousand hours left.

你可能只剩下 40 萬個小時的壽命。

4. Laugh at yourself.

第四，嘲笑自己。

Stop thinking of yourself as a stupid idiot.

別再認為自己是個笨蛋了。

You're something far nicer: a lovable fool.

你比自己想得還要更好：一位惹人愛的傻瓜。

5. Make regular appointments to talk with someone you don't spend enough time with... you.

第五，多和一位不常和你說話的人約一約、講一講話，而那個人正是「你」。

Ask yourself what you really want and are anxious about.

問問自己真正想要的是什麼，或真正煩惱的是什麼。

6. Stop trying to make yourself happy; it's impossible.

第六，不要再試著讓自己開心了，這是不可能的。

Concentrate on cheering up other people.

專注在為身旁的人加油打氣。

7. Look at yourself as if from the ISS, 240 miles above the Earth.

第七，想像你是從距離地球 240 哩遠的太空站看著自己。

From this height, lots of things that are bothering you look the size they should always have been.

從這個高度看的話，許多煩惱的事就會小的像一顆彈丸，而它們其實本來就是如此。

8. Throw your phone off a cliff, for a bit, so you can finally notice stuff, especially your partner and your mom.

第八，把手機丟下懸崖，這樣你才能夠注意到別人，特別是你的伴侶和你的母親。

9. Give up on the idea that you should be normal.

第九，放棄當一般人的想法。

The only normal people are people you don't know yet.

世上唯一的一般人只有那些你還不認識的人。

Everyone is weird.

每個人都很奇怪。

And that's totally okay.

這很正常。