Little help here ?

Excuse me

Woo

Dopinder

Pool, Dead

Why the fancy red suit Mr Pool ?

Well, that's because its Christmas day dopinder and I'm after somone on my naughty list

You're probably thinking, this is a superhero movie but that guy in the suit just turned that other guy into a fucking kebab

Surprise

This is a different kind of superhero story

To tell it right

We gotta take you back to before i squeezed this ass into spandex

Mr. Wilson, you've recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer

We can fight this

What if i told you

We can cure you, and give you abilities most men only dream of ?

I'd say that you sound like an infomercial

but, not a good one, like slap chop

more shake weighty

If I never see you again

know that I love you

When i'm finished, your mutated self will heal anything

but, you still think we're making you a superhero

we're making you a super slave.

Oh come on!

You're leaving me alone here with Josec and psycho

Whatever they did to me

made me totally indestructible

and completely

nooo!

unfuckable.

You-you look like the inside of other people's assholes

I didn't ask to be super

and I'm no hero,

but when you find out your worst enemy is after your best girl

the time has come to be a fucking superhero

ahah ouh

Ahh! Right up mainstreet

Cue the music

We can't allow this, deadpool

I don't have time for your X-Men bullshit, Colossus!

besides, nobody's getting hurt!

that guy was up there before we got here.

I've played a lot of roles..

damsel in distress ain't one of 'em.

Time to make the chimi-fucking-changas!

Have you seen this man ?

I never say this

but don't swallow.

Shit, did i leave the stove on?

You're way too much dude for me

that's why I brought him!

I mean,

that's why i brought her?

oh no, finish your tweet

its not-that's fine, just give us a second

go get her tiger.

Oh, I so pity the dude who pressures her into prom sex...