I'm Dr. Matt, and I've got the perfect cure

這裡是Matt 醫師，我手頭有些特效藥

for that headache, backache, toothache,

包治頭痛、背痛、牙痛

heartache, handshake, corn flake, tummyache.

心痛、手顫、玉米片成癮、腹痛

It's called meth! (laughs nervously)

那就是安非他命啦! (ಠ౪ಠ)

Ride the snake!

嗨翻啦!

All right, well, obviously I'm not a doctor,

好啦，很明顯地我不是一個醫生

and prescribing that sounds nuts.

講話也瘋瘋癲癲

But, there have been some insane treatments

但是，瘋狂的治療方式確實存在

prescribed by medical experts who,

由從前的醫學專家所創

arguably, didn't know better.

然而他們其實什麼也不懂

And what's really disturbing is that these were all commonly used in the past.

讓人難以置信的是，這些療法過去都曾風行一時

If a physician used any of the methods

如果現在還有醫生在使用

you're going to hear about today, they'd be in jail.

我們接著提到的瘋狂療法，那他們一定會被關進監獄

So, what exactly are they?

所以，到底是些怎樣的療法呢？

Here are 10 banned medical practices

以下是十種已經禁用的醫療行為

you won't believe existed.

你甚至很難相信這樣的療法存在

Number one is Mercury.

第一種：水銀

It definitely sounds crazy, but there was a time

這聽起來很可怕，但在以前

when people thought that the best way to treat syphilis was to ingest Mercury.

人們認為治療梅毒最好的方式就是喝下水銀

Side effects included losing your teeth,

其副作用包括：牙齒脫落、

damage to internal organs, or simply death.

臟器受損，甚至當場死亡

Using Mercury as a cure began as early

早在西元前1500年的埃及

as 1500 B.C. in Egypt, and was believed

就已在使用水銀，當時人們相信

to cure ailments, heal wounds, and even prolong life.

水銀能治療一些小病痛、恢復傷口、甚至是延長壽命

(laughs)

(☉д⊙)

It turned out to be the exact opposite.

但事實上造成的完全是反效果

They also used to use Mercury ointments, pills,

人們還使用水銀藥膏、藥丸、

and lotions to treat all sorts of ailments,

以及塗劑來治療各種病痛

attributing the side-effects and deaths to the underlying condition the patient already had.

這當然使得病人每況愈下，因水銀會產生各種副作用甚至致死

Nowadays, we're weary about Mercury in fish.

相較於今日我們對於漁獲中水銀污染的擔憂

Back then, they were drinkin' it like it was an ale.

過去的人們可是把水銀當成麥酒喝

Ah, gimmie some Mercury!

啊，乾了這杯水銀 !

Yeah, I feel great! (groans)

耶，超爽的啊! _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_

Number two is radioactive water.

第二種：輻射瓶裝水

It's hard to believe, but in the early 1900s,

這很難相信，但在1900年代早期

Radium was all the rage.

鐳可是夯透半邊天

Today we know that exposure to Radium causes cancer,

直至今日我們已經知道暴露在鐳底下會造成癌症

but back then it was used as a cure for mental illness,

但早期的人們把它拿來治療精神疾病、

diarrhea, malaria, and was even thought to prevent aging

下痢、瘧疾，甚至還用來抗老化

due to increased cell activity.

因為他們認為鐳會增加細胞活性

And what better way to get this stuff into consumers' bodies than to sell it as bottled water?

既然如此還有什麼比「把鐳放進瓶裝水讓人們喝下肚子」更好的呢？

That's right, Radium-infused water could be purchased in many stores

沒錯，含鐳輻射水在各大行號都買得到

alongside Radium-infused chocolate, radioactive toothpaste, and,

除此之外含鐳巧克力、含鐳牙膏正熱烈販售中，還有你想都想不到的...

why not, radioactive suppositories.

沒錯，就是含鐳塞劑!!

Up and at 'em.

對準你的小菊花，然後...

(grunts)

(✺ω✺)

Number three is whirling chairs.

第三種：旋轉椅

Between 1850 and 1900, in an attempt to stop the practice of restraining the mentally ill

在1850到1900期間，為了遏止將精神病人拘束

and locking them in dark cells, yes, that actually happened,

並關在地牢中的行為(沒錯，以前就是這樣做的)

doctors turned to a method they genuinely thought could help:

醫生們異想天開地想出了這個辦法：

Strapping patients into a chair and spinning them until they lost consciousness.

將病人綁在椅子上並旋轉之，直到他們失去意識

Yep.

沒錯

That'll get the voices to stop.

這還真是個方法讓他們安靜下來

They used a simple chair with a lever system to spin the person around.

人們利用椅子加上槓桿系統讓病人原地旋轉

The belief was that this would shuffle

他們相信這種做法可以

the contents of the patient's brain around,

搖晃病人的腦

knocking out conditions like schizophrenia.

甩掉不好的症狀像是精神分裂症等

Used alongside other unbelievable practices like high-dose laxatives, insulin comas,

除此之外他們還會用一些一樣難以置信的治療方式像是：高劑量瀉藥、胰島素休克療法、

and ice-water baths, it took far too long for doctors to learn that this really wasn't working.

以及冰水浴等。直到好久以後醫師們才發現旋轉椅實在沒什麼用

Just made a whole lot of vomit...

只會讓人吐得滿地都是...

Just...just...buckets.

一桶...一桶...

Buckets of vomit.

又一桶的嘔吐物

Number four is the lobotomy.

第四種：前額葉切除術

Often declared as one of the most barbaric mistakes ever perpetrated by main-stream medicine,

是主流醫學史上公認最為殘酷的錯誤療法之一

lobotomies involved driving a large ice pick into a patient's head.

醫師將一把冰鑿敲進病人的腦中進行前額葉切除

Follow me on this.

步驟如下：

Entering through the eye socket,

冰鑿從眼窩中進入

the spike was pressed into the prefrontal cortex of the brain,

將其尖端壓入腦中前額葉

and then struck with a hammer.

然後用槌子敲擊

Doctors truly believed that whatever the outcome,

醫師們認為不論後果有多嚴重

the patient would still be better off than they were pre-lobotomy.

進行前額葉切除術都是值得的

Side effects included severe brain damage,

其副作用包括：腦部嚴重受損、

or even death, which was the case with

甚至直接致死。約翰·甘迺迪的妹妹

John F. Kennedy's sister who, after a lobotomy

在接受前額葉切除術後

was reduced mentally to an infant, and never recovered.

心智上退化到如同嬰兒一般，終生未曾恢復

How...how did they ever think that driving an ice pick

到底...到底為什麼他們會覺得「將一把冰鑿

through the eye into the brain was ever a good idea?

經過眼窩敲入腦中」會是一個好主意？

Just...

這根本...

It's scary stuff.

根本光聽就嚇尿了好嗎

Number five is the electrical impotence cure.

第五種是「陽痿電擊治療」

By the 1900s, everybody and their brother had a miracle cure for anything.

在1900年代時，普羅大眾們有機會享受到一種包治百病的傳說療法

And disturbingly, many of them were for male...

但是很奇怪地，幾乎都是男性在接受治療...

(clears throat) issues....

(咳)這是有關...

Down there...

下面...

Wit' ya dick.

你的老二

Anywho, as fascination with electricity was on the rise,

總之，隨著電療的流行

medical practitioners turned to it to solve impotence.

開業醫生們開始將其用在治療陽痿

By shocking the hell out of a man's...

療程為大力地電擊男士們...

package.

胯下的袋子

It was widely believed that a shock provided energy

當時普遍相信電擊會帶來能量

to a man's body which he could use to...

身體接收這些能量後，男士們就可以...

rise to the occasion.

在特定場合雄起

Of course, what they didn't tell you,

當然，在醫師們收到錢以前

until after they were paid, was that

絕對不會告訴你一件事情，那就是

not only was there no real science involved in it,

這項療法毫無科學依據

but it was incredibly painful!

而且會導致難以忍受的疼痛!

Dudes these days be buyin' these online enhancement pills,

好在現今的男士們只需要上網買些壯陽藥物就解決了

and all they really needed was a car battery and some jumper cables.

同時他們需要的只是一顆汽車電池以及一些跨接電纜(詳情自搜 blue pikachu, urban dictionary)

Science!

科學萬歲!

Number six is trepanning.

第六種：顱骨穿孔術

The twisted cousin of lobotomy,

跟前額葉切除術就像是一對扭曲的表兄弟

trepanning was used for many years

顱骨穿孔術行之有年

and it involved drilling into a mentally ill patient's head.

醫師會將精神病患的顱骨鑽開

As one of the oldest methods of treatment,

身為最古老的療法之一

trepanning dates all the way back to 6500 B.C. in France,

顱骨鑽孔可以追溯至西元6500前的法國

and consisted of drilling burr holes

手術過程包括

into a patient's skull to let the evil spirits out.

在病人的顱骨鑽孔好釋放出邪惡的靈魂

(groans)

(((ﾟдﾟ)))

The mentally ill were often mistaken to be possessed

在從前精神疾病常被解釋成邪靈附身

by demons, and, as we all know,

並且，大家都知道的

the only way to get a demon out of your head

讓邪靈離開你的腦中的唯一方法就是

is to make a little hole for it to get out of.

在你的腦袋上開個小洞讓它出來

Long after science recognized mental illness, however,

直到很久以後科學上才有精神疾病的說法

trepanning was still used when all other treatments failed,

然而，顱骨鑽孔仍作為其他療法都失敗後的備案

as doctors just drilled a few holes to see what happens.

於是醫師們就鑽了幾個洞，好看看裡面是怎麼回事

Uh, science, doctors, if I ever become ill,

痾，科學家們和醫師們，萬一我哪天生病

please, don't treat my head like a bowling ball.

拜託不要把我的頭弄得像顆保齡球

If there's demons in there, you just let 'em chill.

如果真有邪靈在裡面，就隨它們去吧

Just let 'em chill.

隨便它們怎樣都行

I don't want no holes, okay?

但我就是不想要被鑽孔好嗎？

Just let 'em chill.

隨便怎樣都好

Still livin' and then I'll die.

邪靈附身然後我會死掉

I'll die, that's cool, I just...

就算讓我死掉也可以，但我就是...

I don't wanna be a Matthew Santoro bowling ball.

一點都不想變成Matthew Santoro 顱骨保齡球

That's...

這...

That's disturbing.

實在是太可怕了

Number seven is bloodletting.

第七種：放血

A treatment used for over 2,000 years until the late 1800s,

放血療法被施行了2000年，直到1800年代晚期

bloodletting was the act of draining blood from the body.

放血是將體內的血液放出的的療法

Now, while this is still done in a way today,

雖然今天仍有在使用

it's nothing like it used to be.

但跟從前人們用的放血療法已經大不相同

Many doctors used to believe that

過去許多醫師都相信

blood would pool in certain places,

血液會積聚在特定的部位

and that was why people got sick.

使得人們生病

Vast quantities of it would be drained from the body for ridiculous reasons like a stuffy nose,

當時的人會因為一點小原因就從體內放出大量的血，像是鼻塞、

or even a headache.

或者頭痛

Obviously, this caused many deaths,

想當然耳，這導致許多人死去

but, once again, practitioners just chalked up loss of life to the illness itself,

然而，又一次地，開業醫師們將人們的死去歸因於疾病本身

or, state of mind of the patient.

或是病人的精神狀況

Fun fact:

有趣的事情是：

Barbers were the most common blood-letters,

施行放血的人通常是理髮師

and that's the reason they use red and white poles.

這也是理髮店使用紅白色旋轉燈的由來

Disturbing, I know.

很莫名其妙，我知道

Think about that next time you walk by a barber.

想像下一次你經過一個理髮師旁

Nightmares for days.

這會讓人連做好幾天噩夢

Number eight is urine therapy.

第八種：尿療

Urine therapy was the practice of using one's own pee to cure them of ailments.

尿療法利用人的尿液來治療病痛

Sometimes, it would be the patient's own urine,

有時是用病人自身的尿

but other times it was a healthy person's.

有時則是用健康人的尿

Or even the doctor's.

甚至是醫生的尿

How generous.

還真是慷慨

It was thought that by drinking urine, or applying it around affected areas,

當時的人認為藉由喝尿或者將尿塗抹在患部

it could help heal broken bones,

可以治療骨折、

clear up strep throat, cure acne, or even whiten teeth.

鏈球性喉炎、青春痘、甚至可以美白牙齒

(laughs)

(ﾟ∀。)

Don't get any ideas.

嘿，你想都別想!

Though technically debunked, there are some people

雖然已被證實為無稽之談，但仍有些地區的人

still in the world that claim to gain the benefits from this truly bizarre form of therapy.

堅信這奇怪的療法對他們的身體有益

So, careful where you go in the world,

因此，旅行到其他地方時可要當心了

because that's...that lemonade...

你眼前的檸檬汁...

may not be lemonade.

也許其實不是檸檬汁

Number nine is Ms. Winslow's soothing syrup.

第九種：Winslow 女士牌緩和糖漿

Hey, want a quick way to stop your child from throwing a temper-tantrum?

嘿，想要快速解決你家小孩的任性脾氣嗎?

Well, don't worry, with Ms. Winslow's soothing syrup,

別擔心，全交給Winslow 女士牌緩和糖漿

they'll be calm and cool,

孩子們會變得又平靜又安穩

and halfway to a coma in no time!

很快地就會直接昏過去!

Sold in the early 1900s as a remedy

這項產品在1900年代早期作為藥物販售

for children with ailments such as cold,

標榜能治癒小孩的各種病痛，諸如感冒

fever, rambunctiousness, or even if a parent just wanted to catch a quick nap,

發燒、過動等，甚至僅僅是想讓小孩快點睡著

Ms. Winslow's remedy was fast-acting

Winslow 女士牌緩和糖漿作用迅速

mostly because it contained heroin,

絕大部分是因為其中含有海洛因、

cannabis, powdered opium, morphine,

大麻、粉末狀鴉片、嗎啡

and an insane slew of other substances.

以及其他一堆你無法想像的成分

The cocktail proved deadly to those children

這雞尾酒藥物被證實會導致

who didn't mellow out, and, to top it off,

那些無法平靜下來的孩童死亡，更糟糕的是

it was marketed to parents of babies who were teething,

這藥物主要販售給孩子們正在長牙的父母

and thus, always crying.

而這些小孩因為長牙總是哭鬧著

Mom and Dad can finally relax by putting your child to sleep...

父母們總算能安心休息，因為糖漿能讓你們的孩子們都睡著

forever.

一覺到...永遠

That was a scary time to be alive, medical science.

多虧了這些醫藥技術，活在當時真是有夠可怕的

And, number 10, the tobacco enema.

然後是第十種：煙燻灌腸

Let me just say, first of all, that all the remedies

話先說在前頭，你今天聽到的所有療法

you heard of today are 100% true.

100%都是真的

I am not blowing smoke up your ass.

我不會把菸呼向你的屁股(我可不是在唬爛你)

Although, if you lived in the 1700s and

但是如果你生活在1700年代

needed emergency, life-saving treatment,

而且需要攸關生死的急救措施時

that's exactly what they'd do.

那正是當時的人會對你做的

It was actually believed that tobacco smoke

當時的人相信菸草的煙

could warm up a person's body just before or immediately after death,

可以在人將死或者剛死時提升身體的溫度

and could jump-start the respiratory system.

然後快速重啟人體的呼吸系統

Of course, the best place to jump-start the lungs and the heart is through the butt!

而最能快速重啟肺臟以及心臟的地方，當然就是屁股啦!

Using rubber rectal tubes.

利用一條橡皮的直腸導管

Doctors claimed that this practice

醫師們宣稱此種做法

would combat hernias, typhoid fever,

可以打倒疝氣、傷寒、

and even headaches.

甚至是頭痛

And then, in 1811, it was discovered

後來到了1811年時，人們才發現

that this is really doing just way more damage

這方法造成的害處遠較益處為多

than helping, and tobacco enemas were discontinued.

後來就不再使用煙燻灌腸了

I think the moral of the story here, friends,

朋友們，我覺得在這裡面有個道德議題

is just don't try to smoke with ya butt.

那就是「不要用你的屁股來抽菸」

Don't smoke with your butt.

不要用你的屁股來抽菸

Leave the anus...

放過你的菊花...

Don't smoke with your butt.

不要用你的屁股來抽菸

Yes.

沒錯

It's a helpful tip.

這可是個好建議

You're welcome!

不客氣!

And those were 10 banned medical practices

以上就是10種已被禁止的醫療行為

that actually existed.

它們確實存在過

Thank you guys, so much, for watching this episode.

非常感謝各位觀眾收看本集節目

I really hope you enjoyed it.

希望你們都喜歡

If you have a recommendation for a topic

如果有任何建議的議題關於「十大排行」

of a top ten, please leave a comment below,

請在下方留言

and I'll be reading through your comments.

我會看完你們的留言

Remember to click that red subscribe button

請記得幫忙按下紅色的訂閱鍵

to be notified of my future videos on this channel.

才能收到本頻道中更新影片的通知喔!

On the right, you'll find an annotation to my last video,

在右手邊，你會看到我上一部影片的連結

as well as an annotation to get some merch

以及一些周邊商品的連結

if you feel like pickin' up some cool shirts.

如果你想買一些不錯的T恤的話

As well, you'll also find an annotation

另外，你也能看到我第二頻道的連結

to my second channel, where I make vlogs, unboxings,

那邊有我的影片部落格、開箱

and much more, so be sure to subscribe to that,

以及其他許多影片，別錯過訂閱囉

and I will see all of you next time

讓我們下回再見

with a brand...new...video.

一起來看全~新~影~片~