Alright, so today we’re at cool Asian Bakery. We got some boba. We got some crazy baking goods.

好，今天我們在酷亞洲人麵包店。我們點了波霸，還有瘋狂的烘焙物

And we’re gonna talk about the most embarrassing but funny stories we have been raised by immigrant parents.

我們要來討論我們的移民父母對我們做的最尷尬但也很好笑的事

Yeah. Cause you know “Fresh Off The Boat” is about the immigrant family try to figure out in America.

對，因為你知道”剛剛上岸”就是關於移民家庭試著了解美國文化

In my case, Canada.

對我來說，是加拿大

You know as we’re here at the Asian bakery. Immediately the first thing I think of is food.

我們現在在亞洲麵包店，我第一個想到的東西就是食物

Yo. Let’s talk food cause there’re so much talk about food.

唷，那我們就來說食物吧，有很多可以討論

I remember when I was kid growing up in elementary school.

我記得我還是小學生的時候

My parents would never ever buy me the little square ham with square cheese with circle ham two crummy crackers in that was just too expensive.

.我父母絕對不會買那些小方火腿跟小方起司還有圓形火腿跟兩片噁心餅乾組成的東西，因為那太貴了

And I remember my mom was just always tell me no no no no. That’s too expensive.

我還記得我媽一直跟我說不、不、不、不，那太貴了

So for me, they had like give me rice and like sausage.

所以對我來說，他們只給我吃飯跟香腸

Yeah. It did not hook it up.

對，它們完全沾不上邊

Cause like the meat was so mysterious to them.

因為肉對他們來說太神秘了

They’re like why aren’t you having sandwich.

他們老是說為什麼你不吃三明治

Something funny that my mom she would exactly give me that meal that came with the toy.

有件關於我媽的有趣事情，是他會給我吃附帶玩具的餐

She would give me a one dollar menu and then she would go to the counter and ask them if they would give me a toy nine times outta ten and it actually worked.

他會給我一張一元的菜單，然後到櫃檯去問他們可不可以給我玩具，十次有九次是成功的

And to be honest, I didn’t even know there’s any other items on the menu other than the Dollar menu.

老實說，我那時候根本不知道他們有除了一圓菜單上面有的東西以外的項目

Until I got my own money, I couldn’t order.

在我自己賺錢之前，我都不會點餐

It still carries with me day because even today I’m still ordering of the dollar menu a lot.

我到現在還是這樣，我還是常常在點一元菜單上面的東西

We talk about being raised up by immigrant parents you have to include the saving money part.

要談論被移民父母養大這件事情，當然少不了存錢那部分

Yes. Which can be embarrassing and funny the same time.

對，那很尷尬，但同時也很好玩

Basically, our pantry was dictated by what was on sale that week.

基本上我們的儲藏室是受當週的促銷品控制的

So whatever snacks, cereal even fruit like strawberries were on sale. My mom would stocking up. But if they weren’t we just won’t eat them.

不管什麼樣的零食、玉米片或是草莓之類的水果再特價，我媽都會囤貨。如果沒有特價的話，我們就吃不到

So one funny story I have about my parents try to save money is.

我父母試著省錢的好笑故事是

Going up to my basketball coaches then asking them if they had low income discounts for being on in expensive basketball team.

他們去找我的籃球教練，問他們如果是低收入戶要參加昂貴的籃球隊訓練，可不可以打折

And my coach would always be like, “Yo, Rich man you parents be trippi’n man.

我的教練總是說”唷，有錢人，你爸媽好好笑喔”

And we joke about it at practicing. Yeah you know they just doing the thing.

我們在練習的時候都會拿這個來開玩笑。對啊，你知道他們就是這樣做了

When we eat out with my family, my mom would buy one tea and we will share it amongst like six of us.

當我們出去吃飯的時候，我媽會點一杯茶，然後分給六個人喝

She’s gonna order tea and then it’ll come with tea bag.

他會點有附帶茶包的茶

You order what? Four hot water or something and you take the bag out.

那你點什麼？四杯熱水之類的，然後你把那個茶包拿出來

You just dip it all inside.

把它在所有水裡沾一沾

Nice. And then so when the waiter comes back she’s like “did you guys order four tea?”

好耶，然後當服務生過來的時候，他說”你們有點四杯茶嗎？”

We’re like “NO”

我們說”沒有”

That’s why she’s really smart. I’ve never thought about it.

他真的很聰明，我從來沒想過這招

Tea leaves go a long way.

茶葉很持久

And the big part of our childhood growing up was definitely my mom returning a lot of things.

我們童年的很大一部分絕對是媽媽一直退貨

She still does it this day and is not a bad thing because it saves us a lot of money.

他到現在還是常常這樣，不過這不是壞事，因為那真的幫我們省了很多錢

Cause she always be like “hey guys money back guarantee it’s right here on the box.”

他總是在說”嘿，盒子上就寫著保證退費啊”

Didn’t she return fruit?

他有退水果嗎？

My mom has returned grapes before.

我媽以前退過葡萄

When it comes to my mom, everything can be returned. Everything.

對我媽來說，什麼都可以退貨的，什麼都可以

Ain’t no shame in the return game.

退貨是沒什麼好羞恥的

So a lot of people always be like “yo, David I know your family always buying car in weird colors.”

很多人常說”唷，大衛，我知道你家每次都買顏色奇怪的車”

No-o-o. That’s just the cheapest one available.

不、不、不，只是因為那是你能買到最便宜的而已

It is the purple or the

它是紫色或是…

No, it wasn’t purple. It was eggplant

不，它不是紫色啊，是茄子色

EGGPLANT

茄子！

My parents’ car was eggplant car too.

我父母也曾有一台茄子色的車欸

Kind of different from what you guys that my parents would actually buy the expensive car.

我跟你們有點不一樣，我爸媽其實是會買昂貴的車子

But then they would have brown van that was worth like five hundred dollars.

但之後他們會去買一台價值五百美金的廂型車

They would drive around so they didn’t have to drive the nice car everywhere.

他們會開那台廂型車，所以他們就不用一直開那台好車

Right. I remember the name for you called it

對，我還記得你幫那台車取的名字

The TURDSTER

偽裝者

My mom would buy x large shirts because they would fit all of us.

我媽會買XL號的衣服，這樣我們就都穿得下了

Cause we have about four girls in the house so we are all different sizes.

因為我們家有四個女生，我們都穿不同尺寸

So large will fit all of us.

所以L號大家都穿得下

I remember get hand-me-down from our cousin Denis who’s from Hong Kong.

我還記得拿到香港表哥的二手衣服

So we get all these funky uncommon brands like clothes look crazy.

我們得到的都是一些新奇、不尋常的品牌，而且看起來超瘋狂

Different funny windbreaker jackets and we get this big box from our aunt and uncle.

各式各樣好笑的風衣，而且我們拿到阿姨跟叔叔送來的箱子的時候

And then we be like “oh yeah time to go...”

我們會說：”喔耶，是時候…”

And then we be like “mew! what is this”.

然後我們會說：”噁!這是什麼啊？”

I thought it was second grade, my parents would go to Vietnam in the summer. And they will bring back a bunch of clothes for me for the school year.

我想那應該是二年級的時候，我爸媽夏天會回越南。然後他們會帶一堆衣服給我那一年上學穿

But on the shoes, they have like four patches of different brands.

但那個鞋子上面有四種不同品牌的補丁

So you couldn’t go wrong with it. You had everything on right.

你不可能搞錯，什麼都在上面了

My family and I were eating out.

我跟我家人出去吃飯的時候

And a server was like tall, good-looking Chinese guy.

看到一個又高又帥的中國服務生

Automatically, my dad was like “Are you single”.

我爸自動問他說：”你單身嗎？”

“Here is my daughter” he like points right at me.

“這是我女兒。”他指著我說

Like so embarrassing.

真的很尷尬欸

“We can support you back in… like in Vancouver”, and I’m like “this is so embarrassing” and like afterwards.

“我們可以在溫哥華罩你。”然後我就一臉尷尬，之後呢

The boss and all the servers were like talking at the corner looking at me.

餐廳老闆跟所有服務生在角落講話的時候一直盯著我看

And the boys smile when they put the food down.

男服務生上菜的時候都一直笑

Any part of you like it though?

哪一部分的你喜歡這樣嗎？

No

沒有

Because it’s like, I can find my own man.

因為就是…我可以自己找男朋友

My dad I think associated nerdy girl with like the best wife ever.

我爸把書呆女孩跟最棒的妻子聯想在一起

Which I mean there is of course good quality to that.

當然這某種程度是對的

I think it’s so funny cause they use passive aggressive way.

我覺得那很搞笑，因為他們用自以為低調的方式表達

“Hey what about her, man.” “She seems smart David.”

“嘿，他怎麼樣啊？小夥子。” ”他看起來很聰明啊，大衛。”

I just remember my dad look at me with a straight face.

我只記得我爸用一個撲克臉看著我

David if you really think about it is better not to date until… after college or you have a job.

大衛，如果你真的想要約會，大學畢業或開始工作之後再開始會比較好

It’s ok you have a girlfriend

有女朋友是沒關係啦

But before you are after college and have a job, then having your girlfriend would only distract you from your goals.

不過大學畢業或找到工作之前，交女朋友只會使你分心

Then you’re gonna say destroy you.

然後你會說毀了你

You could. You could.

你可以、你可以

One thing I could really relate to “Fresh Off The Boat” is Eddie’s father, Louis, loves the American culture.

有件事讓我真正聯想到”剛剛上岸”，就是艾迪的爸爸，路易士，很愛美國文化

I thought it was interesting cause my mom really embraced in pop culture.

我覺得我媽接受流行音樂真的很有趣

My dad was definitely more traditional side. He listens to more like traditional Chinese music or classical music.

我爸就真的比較傳統了，他聽比較多傳統國樂或古典樂

Eddie’s dad is more into American culture than his mom.

艾迪他爸就比他媽還要喜歡美國文化

I remember sometimes watching American shows.

我記得有時候在看美國電視節目的時候

My dad would always like make comments at things that he didn’t approve of.

我爸總是會評論他不贊同的事

Just some girls show upon the screen just like in skirts for whatever reason.

電視上的女生不管是因為什麼原因穿裙子

My dad be like. “Ohhhh What show is this?”

我爸都會說”喔!這什麼節目啊？”

He has watched it like forty five minutes.

他已經看了這個節目45分鐘

And all he says

結果他只會說

“what do we watch?”“what do we watch?”

“我們到底看了什麼？” ”我們到底看了什麼？”

My dad would always sit down watch about like three minutes.

我爸總是會坐下來看個30分鐘電視

See something he didn’t like.

看到一些他不喜歡的東西

“Alright, you guys, turn it off, change channel.”

“小夥子們，關掉電視，轉台。”

‘Fresh Off The Boat’ I think it’s why a lot of people are excited about the show because even though it is based around the Asian, particularly Chinese family.

很多人對“剛剛上岸”這個節目很感興趣，因為就算他基本上是以亞洲、特別是中國家庭為背景

I think you’re gonna see a lot of things that all immigrants kids deal with.

我想你還是會看到一堆所有移民家庭第二代要面對的事情

It’s just gonna be this whole immigrant kind of experience is very similar about not understand the American culture.

整個移民經驗是非常類似的，都是因為不了解美國文化

I think any kid grow with immigrant parents can relate to the fact that.

我想任何移民父母養大的小孩都可以了解到

One if you can look back on your life experiences, things are pretty funny.

如果你可以回想你人生中的經驗，很多事情都很好笑

Ok. They gives you a sense of humor

OK，它們讓你有幽默感

They also give you different perspective on American culture.

它們也讓你對美國文化有不同的觀點

Even though you know there’s definitely pros and cons.

就算你知道這有好有壞

You know whether you’re not being fully accepted as American, you don’t feel as American as other kids.

你知道你要不是不被完全接受為美國人，就是你覺得你自己沒有別人美式

But you also have these other culture here that helps you look at thing through different lens.

但你有不同文化背景，讓你用不同角度看事情

And I think that is also good in different way.

我想換個角度來說那也是件好事

And if you can use those things to your advantage.

如果你可以把這些東西發揮得好

It’s awesome.

真的很棒

Alright guys, that was different reminisce of funny or embarrassing story from my immigrant parents.

好，大夥兒，那就是我們記憶中關於我的移民父母好笑或是尷尬的事件

There was like a literally some story that I hadn’t thought about for like fifteen years

那都是我已經15年沒有回想起的故事

That was really crazy go back on the memory lane.

回想這些事情真的很瘋狂

Again this was inspired by the new ABC show “Fresh Off The Boat.”

再次聲明是new ABC頻道的節目”剛剛上岸”給了這影片靈感

So again make sure you check out the new ABC show “Fresh Off The Boat” on Feb. 4 with very special two episodes premiere at 8:37 13 central.

2月4日記得收看中央時間下午1點在8.37頻道播出全新的ABC頻道節目”剛剛上岸”的兩個首映特別節目

And then after that check out another all new episode on Feb. 10 at 87central.

記得2月10日中央時間8點會有全新的一集

I’m from Canada. I’m checking out “Fresh Off The Boat” because my parents came fresh off the boat.

我來自加拿大。我收看”剛剛上岸”，因為我爸媽曾經也是

Alright guys and until next time.

好了，大夥兒，下次見

We are out, peace.

我們走囉，和平