Name: 川普以為我們跟他一樣笨！汽油價格的鬼話連篇，還有海格斯是個玻璃心雪花男！ (Trump Thinks We're as Dumb as He Is, Gaslights Us on Oil Prices & Hegseth’s a Sensitive Snowflake)
Uploaded: 2026-03-16T21:37:44.000Z
Duration: 14 min 52 s

Thanks for joining us here at our office, our home here in Los Angeles and Hollywood, where the Oscars are happening on Sunday.

很高興來到我們在洛杉磯、好萊塢的辦公室，也就是我們在這裡的家，奧斯卡頒獎典禮就要在星期天在這裡舉行了。

Did you see all the stuff right across the street?

Guillermo, you will be on the red carpet on Sunday.

Guillermo，星期天你就要在星光大道上了。

You know, they're saying it could get up to 200 degrees on Sunday.

你知道，他們說星期天可能會飆到攝氏兩百度。

Remember that butler Diddy used to the guy that held the umbrella over his head?

還記得 Diddy 以前那個為他撐傘的管家嗎？

Yeah, well, you know, hey, you know, we have a big mystery to solve.

對啊，你知道，嘿，你知道，我們有個大謎團要解開。

Right now, here in this city, $250,000 worth of male sex toys that were loaded onto a train headed from LA to Dallas have vanished.

現在，在這個城市，價值二十五萬美金、從洛杉磯載往達拉斯的男性情趣用品，竟然消失了。

They loaded them on a freight train and when the train got to Dallas, it was empty.

他們把東西裝上貨運火車，火車到達達拉斯時，車廂卻是空的。

The company says the thief made off with 330 handy massage tube pleasure devices and 200189 handy massage pro model pleasure device.

公司說，竊賊偷走了 330 個 handy massage tube 牌的按摩棒，還有 200189 個 handy massage pro model 牌的按摩棒。

Are looking for a suspect with 619 penises.

他們正在尋找一個有 619 根陰莖的嫌犯。

Guys, we're gonna get the gang back together for one last job.

各位，我們要為了最後一票把兄弟們找回來了。

So I googled it and it seems to be some kind of mini robot.

所以我 Google 了一下，看起來好像是某種迷你機器人。

The Handy 2 is engineered with next gen technology and BU with our community feedback at its core.

Handy 2 採用下一代技術打造，並融入了我們社群的意見回饋。

Enabling new levels of interactive pleasure for penis owners.

為男性生殖器使用者帶來全新的互動式樂趣。

無論是自己玩，還是跟伴侶一起。

我們真的擁有自己的生殖器嗎？

I mean, I feel like my penis owns me in a lot of ways.

我覺得在很多方面，我的生殖器好像才是主人。

Anyway, I hope they find the thieves and I hope those items are returned to their rightful penis owners.

總之，我希望他們能抓到小偷，也希望那些東西能物歸原主，回到牠們真正的主人那裡。

You hate to see people have to go back to doing that by hand.

看到大家又得靠雙手處理，真的讓人很不捨。

Know this is why we need to get the Homeland Security Department back to work.

要知道，這就是為什麼我們需要讓國土安全部重新開始運作。

You know, the DHS has been partially shut down for almost a month now.

你知道，國土安全部已經停擺快一個月了。

And this has been a real problem at the airport.

Roughly 50,000 TSA employees are currently working without pay.

大約有五萬名 TSA 的員工目前是無薪工作。

More than 300 TSA agents have quit since the shutdown started.

自從停擺開始，已經有超過三百名 TSA 的幹員離職了。

And the number of agents calling out sick have skyrocketed, which of course has resulted in massive delays.

而請假不來的幹員人數更是飆升，當然也就造成了嚴重的延誤。

It often takes hours to get through airport security.

通過機場安檢常常需要好幾個小時。

Now the staff shortages have gotten so Bad.

現在人力短缺已經變得非常嚴重了。

officers at some airports are being instructed to only do searches on travelers they find attractive, which is weird.

有些機場的官員被訓示，只搜尋他們覺得有吸引力的旅客，這很奇怪。

而且現在你也不能隨便開車了。

Gas prices have gone up every day for the past 11 days.

But our president, ex con mobil, says there is nothing to worry about.

但我們的總統，前任的 Mobil，他說沒什麼好擔心的。

He wrote, the United States is the largest oil producer in the world by far.

他寫道，美國是世界上最大的石油生產國，遠遠領先。

So when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money.

所以當油價上漲時，我們賺了很多錢。

But of far greater interest and importance to me as president is stoping an evil empire, Iran, from having nuclear weapons.

但作為總統，我更感興趣、更重視的是阻止伊朗這個邪惡帝國擁有核武。

He really is the stupidest president of all time.

他真的是有史以來最笨的總統。

That he says, when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money.

他說，油價上漲的時候，我們賺了很多錢。

Maybe you and your buddies do, but we don't make a lot of money.

也許你跟你那些朋友是啦，但我們並沒有賺很多錢。

We just pay more for gas when oil prices go up.

油價上漲的時候，我們只是要多付點油錢。

The man who campaigned on the promise he would get gas prices under $2 a gallon is now trying to convince us that higher prices are better.

這位承諾要把油價壓到每加侖兩塊以下的總統，現在卻想說服我們油價變高比較好。

You know, you hear the term gaslighting a lot, but rarely when it comes to actual gas.

你知道，你常常聽到「gaslighting」這個詞，但很少用在真正的汽油上。

This is a gem, and it couldn't have come at a worse time.

這真是個經典，而且時機糟透了。

According to a new survey, a third of Americans say they are skipping meals or cutting back on utilities like heat to pay the rising cost of their health care premiums.

根據一項新的調查，有三分之一的美國人表示，他們為了支付不斷上漲的健保保費，正在 skip meals 或減少像暖氣這類的公用事業開銷。

Which makes me wonder what happened to that health care plan Trump announced two months ago?

這讓我想到川普兩個月前宣佈的那個健保計畫怎麼了？

Remember the great health care plan he announced that disappeared right, Right along with our invasion of Greenland?

還記得他宣佈的那個很棒的健保計畫，還有我們入侵格陵蘭的計畫，就這樣消失了，對吧？

And with all this going on, with all these problems, all this instability, war, inflation, Epstein, you name it.

而所有這些事情，所有這些問題、不穩定、戰爭、通貨膨脹、愛潑斯坦，你想得到的都有。

You can see that for Trump, worrying about this is starting to take a toll.

你可以看到，對川普來說，擔心這些事開始讓他吃不消了。

You know, I was wondering if they'd ever reboot Jake and the Fat man, and they did yesterday.

你知道，我一直在想他們會不會重啟《Jake and the Fat Man》，結果他們昨天就做了。

Our current president and the next one right there in a room together, our FIFA Peace Prize winning POTUS said yesterday that even though we are still bombing ir, their soccer team is welcome to come to the United States for the World cup this summer.

我們現任總統和下一任總統就在同一個房間裡，我們這位贏得 FIFA 和平獎的美國總統昨天說，雖然我們還在轟炸伊朗，但他們的足球隊歡迎在今年夏天來美國參加世界盃。

And then when Iran's Minister of sports suggested they might not be keen to do that, he tweaked the invitation he wrote.

然後當伊朗體育部長建議他們可能不太想這麼做時，他修改了他寫的邀請函。

The Iran national soccer team is welcome to the World Cup.

伊朗國家足球隊歡迎參加世界盃。

But I really don't believe it is appropriate that they be there for their own life and safety.

但我真的不覺得他們出現在那裡對他們自己的生命安全是恰當的。

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

Well, I'm glad he's looking out for them.

You know, Trump said we could take out Iran in an hour if we.

你知道，川普說我們可以一小時內解決伊朗，如果我們...

Which he couldn't even take off all his makeup in an hour.

他連妝都卸不完，還說一小時。

I think he might be running out of people to fight because he's even going after members of his own party.

我覺得他可能快沒人可以打了，因為他連自己黨內的人都攻擊。

Now, Thomas Massie is a libertarian leaning Republican from Kentucky and Trump hates him because he's the co sponsor of that bill that forced the release of the Trump Epstein file.

現在，Thomas Massie 是來自肯塔基州、傾向自由意志主義的共和黨員，川普討厭他，因為他是那項迫使公開川普 Epstein 檔案的法案的共同提案人。

So yesterday, Trump flew to Kentucky for a rally and to pick up some of that delicious fried chicken they have.

所以昨天，川普飛到肯塔基州參加集會，順便去買些他們美味的炸雞。

And then he did this big rally to support the guy running against Thomas Massey, a Trump sycophant named Ed Galrine, who jumped on stage to give the event a little extra dose of crazy.

然後他辦了個大型集會，來支持一個要跟 Thomas Massey 選的候選人，叫做 Ed Galrine，是個川普的馬屁精，他還跳上臺，讓這場活動更添一絲瘋狂。

Mr. President, I hope the fake news gets this.

總統先生，我希望這些假新聞能看到。

Tom Massie stands with the ladies of the View.

Tom Massie 和《The View》的女士們站在一起。

Tom Massie stands with the ladies of the view.

I'm telling you, that is the greatest candidate.

我跟你們說，他絕對是最棒的候選人。