Name: 48 分鐘的 Jimmy O. Yang | 猜猜多少錢？ (48 Minutes of Jimmy O. Yang | Guess How Much?)
Uploaded: 2025-09-25T13:52:45.000Z
Duration: 48 min 22 s

過去簡單式

Ever since I was five years old, my mom had me believe that anything I do would make me sick.

從我五歲起，媽媽就讓我相信，我做的任何事情都會讓我生病。

You go outside without a jacket, you get the flu.

You go to bed with the fan on, pneumonia.

God forbid you fall asleep with wet hair. You don't wake up. That's it. You're dead.

上帝不允許你溼著頭髮入睡。不要醒來就這樣你死定了

That's it. You're dead. That's fear-mongering, man.

就是這樣你死定了那是恐嚇，夥計

I'm not scared of anything anymore. I don't think I have any fear anymore.

我什麼都不怕了。我覺得我不再害怕了。

I used to watch that show Fear Factor. You guys remember that show?

我以前常看《恐懼因子》那個節目你們還記得那個節目嗎？

Joe Rogan hosted Fear Factor to make you face your fears, like jump off a helicopter, eat crazy shit like pig intestines and century egg. I ate that shit for breakfast.

喬-羅根（Joe Rogan）主持的《恐懼因素》（Fear Factor）讓你面對恐懼，比如從直升機上跳下來，吃豬腸和世紀蛋等瘋狂的東西。我早餐就吃了那玩意兒

This is nothing to me. Fear is not a factor.

這對我來說不算什麼。恐懼不是一個因素。

When I was like 10 years old, little boy, I was very scared because there was this one kid, pretty sad story, in my class, he had childhood leukemia. And then he lost all his hair to chemo and everything, looking real frail. And I was really scared. I was like, oh my God, is he going to be okay? And my mom, she's a great mother. She saw how scared I was.

在我 10 歲的時候，我還是個小男孩，我非常害怕，因為班上有一個孩子得了兒童白血病。化療讓他掉光了頭髮，看起來非常虛弱。我真的很害怕。我當時想，天啊，他會沒事嗎？我媽媽是個偉大的母親她看到了我有多害怕

So she came up to console me. She was like, Jimmy, Jimmy, you see, this is what happens when you play too much video games. That's fear mongering, okay?

所以她過來安慰我她就說 吉米 吉米 你看 這就是你玩太多電子遊戲的後果你這是在製造恐慌 好嗎 That's fear mongering, okay?

I never played a game of FIFA after that. My mom was like the original fake news.

從那以後，我再也沒玩過 FIFA。我媽媽就像是假新聞的始作俑者。

Good to see everyone here, man. I think collectively as people, we all been through a lot in the last few years, man.

很高興在這裡見到大家，夥計。我想作為一個集體，我們在過去幾年裡都經歷了很多。

And we made it out. We made it out with better for it. I feel like I mentally aged like 20 years.

我們成功了我們活得更好了我感覺自己精神上老了20歲。

Like the first day I walked outside, for some reason,

就像我第一天走出家門一樣，不知道為什麼、

I just walked out like an old Chinese man. I just came out of my house like this.

我就像一箇中國老人一樣走了出來。我就這樣走出了家門。

I was wearing flip flops and a puffer vest. My outfit made no sense.

我穿著人字拖和馬甲。我的打扮毫無意義。

My feet were cold, chest sweat. My posture looked like shit, but I was still judging everyone.

我雙腳冰冷，胸口冒汗。我的姿勢看起來糟透了，但我仍在對每個人評頭論足。

I'm an old man now. I don't even like going outside anymore. All my friends, they're back to normal, right? They're like, oh, Jimmy, you want to go to Coachella?

我現在是個老人了。我都不喜歡出門了我所有的朋友都恢復正常了，對吧？他們會說 吉米 你想去科切拉音樂節嗎

Doesn't look fun to me. Six hours standing in the desert. Fuck that.

我看一點都不好玩在沙漠裡站六個小時去他媽的

You see all these kids, like what they Instagram post, you know, it's always like people just like jumping around, dancing. And then all these buff dudes got like girls on their shoulder.

你看這些孩子，就像他們在 Instagram 上發的照片一樣，總是有人在跳來跳去，翩翩起舞。這些帥哥肩上都扛著女孩

I'm like, dude, you're not even going to a concert. You're doing CrossFit. How's that fun?

我就說，老兄，你又不是去聽音樂會。你在做CrossFit。好玩嗎？

The only concert I've been to this year, I took my girlfriend to a Don McLean concert.

今年我去的唯一一場音樂會，是帶我女朋友去聽唐-麥克萊恩的音樂會。

Yeah. You guys know who that is? Yeah. A couple people. Thank you. Thank you.

你們知道那是誰嗎？你們知道那是誰嗎？知道 幾個人 Yeah.幾個人謝謝 - 謝謝 - Thank you.Thank you.

Tom McLean, for you guys that don't know, sang the song, Bye Bye Miss American Pie.

湯姆-麥克萊恩（Tom McLean），你們不知道吧，他唱過一首歌《美國派小姐再見》（Bye Bye Miss American Pie）。

Yeah, he's old as shit, dude. He's 77 years old and so was his audience.

是啊，他老得要命，老兄。他 77 歲了，他的觀眾也 77 歲了。

It was my favorite concert I've ever been to. On a ticket, it says the show started at eight, started at 7.59. He didn't have an opener, you know, he just came on stage with a guitar and started singing. It was awesome. Nobody stood up to like obstruct my view because frankly, everyone had a bad hip. It's great. Still got home in time to watch the 10 o'clock evening news.

這是我最喜歡的一場音樂會。門票上寫著演出8點開始，7點59分開始。他沒有開場，你知道，他只是抱著吉他上臺，然後開始唱歌。真是太棒了沒有人站起來擋住我的視線，因為老實說，每個人的臀部都不好。太棒了回到家還來得及看10點的晚間新聞

That's my kind of evening. You know what I mean? I don't like going outside anymore. Too many crazy people, too many weirdos. One time I went to this dive bar in a military town, San Diego, big military town. I love my military. Okay. But I think sometimes, yeah, yeah. But I think sometimes military people get a little too passionate. You know? Thank you. Thank you. Exactly. My point right there. Thank you. I love military, but they're just too passionate. Like I was at a dive bar. This one military brother came up to me. He was just like, hey man, I want to buy you a drink.

這才是我喜歡的夜晚你懂我的意思嗎？我不想再出去了太多瘋子了 太多怪人了有一次我去了一個軍事重鎮的酒吧 聖地亞哥，軍事重鎮我愛我的軍隊好吧 但我覺得有時候 是啊 是啊但我覺得有時候 軍人有點太熱情了你知道嗎？謝謝謝謝沒錯我的觀點就在那裡。謝謝我喜歡軍人 但他們太熱情了就像我在一個潛水酒吧有個軍人兄弟向我走來他就說 嘿 夥計 我想請你喝一杯

I'm like, no, no, thank you. I can, I can buy my own drink. Thank you. He's like, no,

我就說，不用了，謝謝。我可以，我可以買我自己的飲料。謝謝他的樣子，沒有、

I want to buy you a drink. So at this point, I thought either he wanted to take a selfie or he wanted to fuck me. So I'm like, no, sir, I think I can buy my own drink.

我想請你喝一杯。這時候我想，要麼他想自拍，要麼他想上我。所以我就說，不，先生，我想我可以自己買酒喝。

And then he started telling me his whole life story. I'm like, no, sir, I think I can buy my own drink. And then he started telling me his whole life story. He's like, you don't understand.

然後他開始給我講他的整個人生故事。我說，不，先生，我想我可以自己買酒喝。然後他開始給我講他的人生故事他說，你不明白。

I want to buy you a drink because I was stationed in Okinawa for four years and you guys have been nothing but nice to me.

我想請你們喝一杯，因為我在沖繩駐紮了四年，你們對我很好。

I'm like, you guys, you guys, Okinawa is in Japan. I'm Chinese, sir.

我就說，你們，你們，沖繩在日本。我是中國人，先生。

And he's like, it doesn't matter, man. It doesn't even matter. I'm like, sir, I think it does matter, right?

他說，這不重要，夥計。這根本不重要我說，先生，我覺得這很重要，對吧？ I'm like, sir, I think it does matter, right?

I'm pretty sure the only reason you were stationed in Japan was to keep an eye out on Chinese people like me. It does matter. He was like, it doesn't even matter, man. I still love Pad Thai, okay?

我敢肯定，你駐紮在日本的唯一目的就是監視像我這樣的中國人。這很重要他說，這根本不重要，夥計。我還是喜歡泰式炒飯，好嗎？

Maybe that guy run into BTS on his next tour. Who knows?

也許那傢伙在下一次巡演時會遇到 BTS。誰知道呢？

My point of saying all of this is Asian people, we don't all look alike. We don't all sound alike.

我想說的是，亞洲人並不都長得一樣。我們的聲音也不盡相同。

You know, we don't even do anything alike. We're just people, you know, right? Like, everybody's different. Thank you, white lady. Thank you. Thank you, one white lady. Appreciate it. Thank you.

我們做的事都不一樣我們只是普通人，對吧？每個人都不一樣謝謝你 白人女士謝謝謝謝你，一位白人女士。謝謝謝謝

She teaches magna school down the street, a lot of Asian students.

她在街邊的 Magna 學校教書，那裡有很多亞洲學生。

So tonight, I want to offer you guys an advanced lesson on how to tell Asian people apart, okay? Yeah, that's right. I'm so good at telling Asian people apart, I don't even need to look at you. I can tell you what kind of Asian somebody is by the sound they make when they're disappointed.

所以今晚，我想給你們上一堂 如何分辨亞洲人的高級課程，好嗎？沒錯我很擅長分辨亞洲人 我甚至都不需要看你一眼我可以通過某人失望時發出的聲音 來判斷他是哪種亞洲人

Because disappointment is our strongest emotion. Whenever we get disappointed, our ancestor just comes out, and you can't hide that, you know? Like, for example, I'm Chinese. I know Chinese people very well, okay? When Chinese people get disappointed, we're just disgusted.

因為失望是我們最強烈的情緒。每當我們失望的時候，我們的祖先就會出現，你無法掩飾，你知道嗎？比如說，我是中國人。我非常瞭解中國人，知道嗎？當中國人失望的時候，我們就會感到厭惡。

We don't want to look at you. When you disappoint a Chinese person, they're just like, shh. Like, they just walked into a smoky room, and they got to clear it. Just like, shh.

我們不想看你。當你讓一箇中國人失望時，他們就會 "噓 "一聲。就像他們剛走進一個煙霧繚繞的房間，他們得把它清理乾淨。就像，噓。

See, that's Chinese people. Japanese people, when Japanese people get disappointed, they just want to know why. They ask you a question.

看，這就是中國人。日本人，當日本人感到失望時，他們只想知道原因。他們會問你一個問題。

When a Japanese person gets disappointed, they're just like, eh?

當日本人感到失望時，他們就會說，嗯？

Eh? And that's it. You didn't go disappoint a Korean person, I wouldn't recommend that.

嗯？就這樣吧你可別讓韓國人失望，我可不建議你這麼做。

This Korean brother might fuck you up, okay? Korean people are intense, they're ready to fight, but they're my favorite type of people because they're very emotionally honest.

這個韓國兄弟可能會把你搞砸，好嗎？韓國人很激烈，他們隨時準備戰鬥，但他們是我最喜歡的類型，因為他們在感情上非常誠實。

A Korean person will let you know when they're disappointed. They're real guttural with it, you know what I mean? When you disappoint a Korean person, they're like, oh, shiba.

韓國人會讓你知道他們的失望。他們會很直接地告訴你，你明白我的意思嗎？當你讓韓國人失望的時候 他們會說 "哦，柴

But they're still very Asian, so they're still real polite. They'll thank you with that.

但他們仍然是非常亞洲化的人，所以他們仍然非常有禮貌。他們會是以感謝你的。

And they're like, oh, shiba. I don't even speak Korean, but I watch Squid Games.

他們會說，哦，柴犬。我甚至不會說韓語，但我看《烏賊遊戲》。

You know what I mean? Love that show. See, that's great representation. Number one TV show in the world, man. And they just spoke their native tongue. That's representation right there, man.

你明白我的意思嗎？我喜歡那個節目看，那是很好的代表世界第一的電視節目，夥計他們還說了自己的母語這就是代表性

But I'm most proud of the fact that I finally have an easy Halloween costume.

但最讓我自豪的是，我終於有了一套簡單的萬聖節服裝。

Some of you guys don't understand the struggle for an Asian guy when it comes to Halloween.

你們有些人不理解亞洲人在萬聖節時的掙扎。

Our outfits are limited. I was Bruce Lee for six years.

我們的服裝有限。我當了六年的李小龍

But this last year, I had the best Halloween costume. All I did, I went to Amazon, got a matching tracksuit, put three numbers on my chest, and I found myself an Indian friend.

但去年，我有了最棒的萬聖節裝扮。我去亞馬遜買了一套配套的運動服，在胸前貼上三個數字，就成了一個印度朋友。

It was such a great Squid Game costume. Somebody came up to me, he's like, oh, my God, you look just like the girl in Squid Games.

魷魚遊戲》裡的服裝真是太棒了。有人走過來對我說，天哪，你看起來就像 "烏賊遊戲 "裡的那個女孩。

Proud of all the representation out there, man. That's what I am.

為所有的代表感到驕傲，夥計。這就是我。

Have you guys seen the show Silicon Valley? Thank you. Thank you.

你們看過《硅谷》這部劇嗎？謝謝 - 謝謝 - Thank you.Thank you.

That was my first big break, man. I was so grateful to be a part of that show.

那是我的第一次重大突破我非常感激能參加那場演出。

But that was a long break, man. It was a long break. I was so grateful to be a part of that show.

但那是很長一段時間是很長時間的休息我很慶幸能參與那場演出

I was so grateful to be a part of that show. I was so grateful to be a part of that show.

我非常感激能參加那場演出。我非常感激能參加那場演出。

I was so grateful to be a part of that show. But that was a few years ago, and I always felt like

我非常感激能成為該節目的一部分。但那是幾年前的事了，我總覺得

I was the only Asian person representing, right? I felt so much weight on my shoulder.

我是唯一的亞洲代表，對嗎？我感到肩上的擔子太重了。

Like every year, we got very lucky. We're getting nominated for an Emmy, so we get to go to a great ceremony. But every year, we knew we were going to lose.

就像每年一樣，我們非常幸運。我們獲得了艾美獎的提名，所以我們可以去參加一個盛大的頒獎典禮。但每年，我們都知道我們會輸。

Because all the good shows have front row seats.

因為所有的好節目都有前排座位。

Veep, Game of Thrones are all here. We're way the fuck in the back by the exit sign.

"權力的遊戲 "和 "副總統 "都來了 Veep, Game of Thrones are all here.我們在後面的出口處

But it's okay. Win or lose, I was there to represent. I made sure I made my round, say hi to everyone, so they know there's Asian presence, you know?

不過沒關係。無論輸贏，我都是代表。我一定要去巡視，跟每個人打招呼，讓他們知道有亞洲人存在，你知道嗎？

That's right. So one year, after we lost, everybody left, I walked down the front row to say hi to some of my favorite actors. And I saw someone. I'm like, oh my god, that's Amelia Clarke. That's Khaleesi. That's Jon Snow over there, you know?

沒錯有一年，我們輸了之後，所有人都走了 我走到前排，想和我最喜歡的演員打個招呼我看到了一個人我就想 天啊 那是艾米莉亞-克拉克那是卡麗熙那邊的是瓊恩-雪諾，知道嗎？

And then there's Rachel Brosnahan. Do you guys know who she is?

還有蕾切爾-布羅斯納漢（Rachel Brosnahan）。你們知道她是誰嗎？

I love her. She plays the marvelous Miss Maisel. Great show, right? It's an awesome show.

我愛她她扮演了不起的梅塞爾小姐很棒的劇，對吧？很棒的劇

And I did a movie with her a few years ago, so I decided to say hi. I was like, oh my god,

幾年前我和她一起拍過一部電影，所以我決定和她打個招呼。我當時想，天啊

Rachel, it's so great to see you. Congratulations on everything. And she was like, oh, okay.

瑞秋，見到你真高興。祝賀你的一切她說，哦，好的

I'm like, okay. She probably just forgot who I was. I'm like, look, we did a movie like six years ago called Patriot's Day. You were awesome in that movie. I just want to congratulate you on everything you've done so far. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm so proud of you.

我想，好吧。她可能只是忘了我是誰我就說 我們六年前拍過一部電影 叫《愛國者日》你在那部電影裡演得很棒我只是想祝賀你迄今為止所做的一切。我就說 天啊 我真為你驕傲

Everything you've done so far. And she was like, oh, yeah, sure. And I'm like, oh, really?

你目前所做的一切她說，哦，是的，當然。我想，哦，真的嗎？

了不起的梅塞爾小姐是個婊子嗎？

But I wasn't going to act out of pocket. I was there to represent.

但我不會袖手旁觀。我在那裡代表。

So it's very nice. I was just like, oh, it's okay. You just don't remember.

所以很不錯。我只是想，哦，沒關係。你只是不記得了

Anyways, I just want to congratulate you for all the nominations on Marvelous Miss Maisel.

總之，我想祝賀你獲得《了不起的麥瑟爾小姐》的所有提名。

You're awesome. And she was like, oh, I'm not Rachel Brosnahan.

你太棒了她說，哦，我不是瑞秋-布羅斯納漢。

我是《西部世界》裡的埃文-蕾切爾-伍德。

And I was like, holy shit. I'm the racist person here. I think all white people look alike.

我當時就想，我靠。我是這裡的種族主義者我覺得所有白人都長得一樣

Everybody in the front row was judging me. John Stone was staring me down. I'm like, you're a bastard. You can't even stare. And I didn't know what to do. I was profusely sweating. My face was flushed red. So I was just like, oh my god, I am so sorry.

前排的每個人都在評判我。約翰-斯通盯著我看我想，你是個混蛋。你連看都不能看我不知道該怎麼辦我滿頭大汗我的臉漲得通紅我當時就想，天啊，真對不起

But either way, it's so nice to meet you. My name is Awkwafina. And then I just.

但無論如何，很高興見到你。我叫Awkwafina然後我就

That's right. That's why it's good to have other representation out there.

沒錯所以說，有其他代表出現是件好事。

Asian people, we don't all look alike until we need to. I got a girlfriend now.

亞洲人，不到萬不得已，我們都不會長得像。我現在有女朋友了

Thank you. I love her very much, man. She's an amazing person. She's very successful.

謝謝我非常愛她她是個了不起的人她非常成功

My girlfriend's a venture capitalist. Yeah, fucking jackpot, right?

我女朋友是風險投資家是啊，中大獎了，對吧？

It's great. It's great. For you guys that don't know what a venture capital means, it means that I'm the poorest person she knows.

好極了好極了對於不知道風險投資意味著什麼的人來說 這意味著我是她認識的最窮的人了

And what that really means is I'm her sugar baby. So it's great. That's right. That's right.

這意味著我是她的甜心寶貝所以這很好這就對了 That's right.That's right.

Gender equality. That's what I'm talking about. It's time for men to get taken care of. That's right. See that brother high fiving his girl? Appreciate you, man. Fellow sugar baby. Come on.

性別平等。這就是我要說的。是時候照顧男人了。沒錯看到那個兄弟和他女朋友擊掌了嗎？欣賞你，夥計甜心寶貝來吧

That's right. That's right. I love her, man. I'm trying to, I'm trying to be a better boyfriend.

這就對了沒錯我愛她我想，我想成為一個更好的男朋友。

I'm new to this like boyfriend stuff, right? I used to take everything so personally. Like every time we get into a fight, I'm like, babe, why are you, why are you mad at me?

我是個新手，喜歡男朋友這種東西，對吧？我以前對什麼事都很在意每次我們吵架，我就會想，寶貝，你為什麼，為什麼生我的氣？

I'm the perfect boyfriend. Wrong answer. Fellas, fellas, if your girl's mad at you, you can't take that shit personally because it's not even about you.

我是完美男友。錯誤答案夥計們，夥計們，如果你的女孩生你的氣，你不能耿耿於懷，因為這根本與你無關。

She doesn't even know what she's mad about.

她甚至不知道自己在生什麼氣。

You just happen to be there. You know what I mean? You're a victim of circumstance, man.

你只是碰巧在那裡。你明白我的意思嗎？你是環境的犧牲品，夥計

So it's not your job to engage in an argument. It's your job to diffuse the situation.

所以，你的工作不是參與爭吵。你的職責是化解矛盾。

You got to jujitsu that shit until you get to the bottom of the real problem.

在找到真正問題的癥結之前，你必須先把這些東西打碎。

Like the other week, she was mad at me about something. She was like, babe, I feel like we don't even like go on date nights anymore. I'm like, okay, I hear you, but what's really going on?

就像前幾個星期，她因為一些事情生我的氣。她說，寶貝，我覺得我們都不喜歡約會了。我說，好吧，我聽你的，但到底是怎麼回事？

And she was like, well, sometimes I feel like you like hanging out with your buddies more than you like hanging out with me. And I'm like, okay, I hear you, but what's really going on? And then she takes a deep breath. And she was like, remember last week of my birthday, Heather brought a cousin and she didn't even know my name. I was like, see, that's your problem right there.

她就說，有時候我覺得你更喜歡和你的朋友們在一起 而不是和我在一起。我就說，好吧，我聽你的，但到底是怎麼回事？然後她深吸一口氣她說，記得上週我過生日的時候，希瑟帶了個表妹來，她連我的名字都不知道。我就說 你的問題就在這裡

It ain't got nothing to do with me. Heather's cousin's a bitch, you know? Fuck her, man. Let's focus our energy on her. I'm trying to be a better communicator, man.

跟我沒關係希瑟的表妹是個婊子，你知道嗎？去她的讓我們集中精力在她身上。我想成為一個更好的溝通，男人。