Name: 我們的期望如何影響我們的所見、所聞和所感 (How our expectations shape what we see, hear, and feel)
Uploaded: 2025-09-03T18:11:20.000Z
Duration: 7 min 2 s

to 不定詞

It can certainly feel like emotions happen to you, that they bubble up and that they cause you to do and say things, but that experience is an illusion that the brain creates.

你當然會覺得情緒發生在你身上，情緒湧動，導致你做出和說出一些事情，但這種體驗只是大腦製造的幻覺。

基礎數量詞

Not everybody has as much control as they might like, but everybody has a little more control than they think they do.

不是每個人都能如願以償地控制自己，但每個人的控制能力都比自己想象的要強些。

現在進行式

When you're experiencing emotion or you're in an emotional state, what your brain is doing is telling itself a story about what is going on inside your body in relation to what's happening in the world.

當你體驗到情緒或處於情緒狀態時，你的大腦會告訴自己一個故事，講述你體內發生的事情與世界上發生的事情之間的關係。

Your brain is always regulating your body.

你的大腦一直在調節你的身體。

Your body is always sending sensory information back to your brain, and your brain isn't wired in a way for you to experience those sensory changes specifically.

你的身體總是將感官信息反饋給大腦，而你的大腦並不是以一種特定的方式來體驗這些感官變化的。

Instead, what you experience is a summary, and that's where those simple feelings come from.

相反，你體驗到的是一種總結，這就是那些簡單感受的來源。

If you understand that every experience you have now becomes part of your brain's ability to predict, then you realize that the best way to change your past is to change your present.

如果你明白，你現在的每一次經歷都會成為大腦預測能力的一部分，那麼你就會意識到，改變過去的最好辦法就是改變現在。

Just in the same way that you would exercise to make yourself healthier, you can invest energy to cultivate different experiences for yourself.

就像鍛鍊身體讓自己更健康一樣，你也可以投入精力為自己培養不同的體驗。

The fact that your brain is using your past experience to predict what you're going to see and hear and feel means that you are an architect of your experience, and that doesn't involve breaking predictions.

你的大腦正在利用你過去的經驗來預測你將要看到、聽到和感受到的東西，這意味著你是你的經驗的設計師，而這並不涉及打破預測。

It involves seeding your brain to predict differently.

這需要在大腦中植入不同的預測方法。

It's my belief that the way in which emotions evolve was to deal with things like saber-toothed tigers, the current incarnation of which is the car that's suddenly lurching at your car at a high speed.

我認為，情感進化的方式是為了對付劍齒虎之類的東西，而劍齒虎現在的化身就是突然高速衝向你的汽車。

In split seconds, you have to do and make very complex decisions.

在瞬間，你必須做出非常複雜的決定。

And if you had to think about what you were doing, you'd be dead.

如果你不得不考慮自己在做什麼，你就死定了。

It's a system that evolved to deal with really important things without your thinking about it.

這是一個在你不經意間就能處理重要事情的系統。

So that means that sometimes you're going to be very unconsidered, very thoughtless.

是以，這意味著有時你會很不經意，很不考慮。

Well, these exercises that we're giving people, moving their facial muscles, concentrating on the sensations to make them more aware of an emotion when it arises so that they will feel it at the moment and then can say, did she really mean to ignore me?

我們給人們做的這些練習，活動面部肌肉，專注於感覺，讓他們在情緒出現時更清楚地意識到它，這樣他們就會在那一刻感覺到它，然後可以說，她真的是有意不理我嗎？

Or maybe I shouldn't jump to the conclusion that she doesn't care about me at all.

或許我不該妄下結論說她根本不在乎我。

The way in which we can improve our emotional life is to introduce conscious awareness.

我們改善情感生活的方法就是引入自覺意識。

Nature did not want you to do that, so you have to do it yourself.

大自然不希望你這樣做，所以你必須自己做。

All relationships are colored with expectations about myself and about the other.

所有的人際關係都帶有對自己和對方的期望。

My expectations influence that which I then see or hear.

我的期望影響著我的所見所聞。

它是一個過濾器，也是我的心情。

That is one of the most important things to understand about relationships and communication, is how people actually co-create each other in the context of a relationship because those people make part of who we are.

這是瞭解人際關係和溝通最重要的事情之一，也是人們如何在人際關係中共同創造彼此，因為這些人是我們的一部分。

We will draw from them the very things which we expect from them, even when it's the opposite of what we really want.

我們會從他們身上汲取我們所期望的東西，即使這與我們真正想要的恰恰相反。

A lot of emphasis is put on our ability to say certain things, to say them in the right way, to articulate our needs, our feelings, our thoughts, our positions, our opinions.

人們非常重視我們說某些話的能力，以正確的方式說這些話的能力，表達我們的需求、感受、想法、立場和觀點的能力。

What is lacking is the ability to see that speaking is entirely dictated by the quality of the listening that is reflected back on us.

我們所欠缺的是一種能力，即認識到說話的品質完全取決於聽話的品質，而聽話的品質又反作用於我們的說話。

If I am talking to someone who is on their phone, I will be expressing myself and experiencing the communication completely different than if I am speaking to someone who is looking at me in the eyes, who says to me, I get it, I understand, not necessarily I agree.

如果我和一個正在打電話的人說話，我的表達方式和交流體驗與我和一個看著我的眼睛對我說："我明白了，我理解了，但不一定是我同意了 "的人說話是完全不同的。

Because ultimately, if I speak to you, and in the end, I leave feeling even more alone, I am literally in an existential crisis.

因為歸根結底，如果我與你交談，最後卻感到更加孤獨，那我就真的陷入了生存危機。

There is nothing worse than to be alone in the presence of another.

沒有什麼比在他人面前獨處更糟糕的了。

So when you listen to me, the first thing I need to know is that I have your attention.

是以，當你聽我說話時，我需要知道的第一件事就是我吸引了你的注意力。

The second thing I need to know is that maybe you can acknowledge the validity of my point of view.

我需要知道的第二件事是，也許你能承認我的觀點是正確的。

And potentially, you may even empathize with my point of view.

你甚至有可能對我的觀點感同身受。

You can understand why I would think or feel or experience things the way I do.

你能理解我為什麼會有這樣的想法、感受或體驗。

That reflecting back, acknowledging, validating, empathizing, that sequence is where the depth of communication takes place.

反思、承認、確認、共鳴，這一系列的過程就是深度交流的過程。

When you enter this world, you're not wired full of memories that your brain will use to predict.

當你進入這個世界時，你的大腦中還沒有充滿可以用來預測的記憶。

Other people cultivate your world, and as a consequence, they are wiring your brain full of experiences that your brain will then use to predict.

其他人培養了你的世界，是以，他們在你的大腦中佈滿了經驗，然後你的大腦會用這些經驗來預測。

So as an adult, you can make decisions about what you experience now.

是以，作為成年人，你可以對現在的經歷做出決定。

And those decisions and choices either reinforce the predictions that your brain makes, or it changes them.

而這些決定和選擇要麼強化了大腦的預測，要麼改變了預測。

Sometimes in life, we are responsible for changing things, not because we're culpable or to blame for those things, but because we're the only ones who can change them.

有時，在生活中，我們有責任改變一些事情，這並不是因為我們對這些事情負有責任，也不是因為我們應該受到責備，而是因為我們是唯一能夠改變這些事情的人。

You always have tools available at your disposal to heal yourself, to act differently, and to feel differently. www.microsoft.com www.microsoft.com