Name: 如何自信地說話（當你害羞時）--Myke Macapinlac 專訪 (How to Speak Confidently (When You're Shy) - Myke Macapinlac Interview)
Uploaded: 2025-07-22T18:37:44.000Z
Duration: 34 min 30 s

未來簡單式

Hey ambitious professionals, it's Linda Rayner of LindaRayner.com guiding you to a career and life you'll truly enjoy.

嘿，雄心勃勃的專業人士，我是 LindaRayner.com 的琳達-雷納（Linda Rayner），我將引導你找到自己真正喜歡的職業和生活。

現在進行式

And today's video is a very special one because we're going to be talking about how to speak and connect to others in a confident way especially when you're shy with my very special guest Mike McIpinlack.

今天的視頻非常特別，因為我們將與我的特別嘉賓邁克-麥金納克（Mike McIpinlack）一起，討論如何自信地與他人交談和溝通，尤其是在你害羞的時候。

to 不定詞

Mike McIpinlack was a shy immigrant who used to work a boring engineering job and became a talk show host, a social dynamics specialist and a lifestyle entrepreneur.

Mike McIpinlack 是一個靦腆的移民，曾經從事枯燥的工程工作，後來成為脫口秀主持人、社會動態專家和生活方式企業家。

He now teaches shy guys to develop social confidence so they can succeed in their personal, romantic and professional lives.

現在，他教害羞的男生培養社交自信，讓他們在個人生活、戀愛和職業生涯中取得成功。

His work has been featured on Breakfast Television, on Shaw TV and in the Huffington Post.

早餐電視臺、邵氏電視臺和《赫芬頓郵報》都曾報道過他的作品。

Well, Mike, thank you so much for joining me here on my channel.

麥克，非常感謝你來到我的頻道。

So, a lot of people here on my channel may not know who you are and what you do so if you can just tell us a little bit about yourself, your story.

我頻道里的很多人可能不知道你是誰，也不知道你是做什麼的，所以請你介紹一下你自己和你的故事。

My name is Mike McIpinlack and I founded Social Confidence Mastery and our mission is to help shy guys improve their social confidence so they can succeed in their personal, romantic and professional lives.

我叫麥克-麥金萊克（Mike McIpinlack），是社交自信大師（Social Confidence Mastery）的創始人，我們的使命是幫助害羞的男生提高社交自信，讓他們在個人生活、戀愛和職業生涯中取得成功。

So, basically, the company started out of my own personal interest to solve my struggle.

是以，公司的成立基本上是出於我個人的興趣，以解決我的困擾。

So, the whole thing started back when I was 16.

所以，整件事要追溯到我 16 歲那年。

My family and I immigrated from the Philippines to Canada and the first few years of being an immigrant in a new country was a huge struggle due to a number of things.

我和我的家人從菲律賓移民到加拿大，由於種種原因，移民到一個新國家的頭幾年非常艱難。

Back then, I didn't speak English so I found it really hard to communicate with people.

那時，我不會說英語，所以我發現與人交流真的很困難。

Number two, I used to be massively overweight.

事實上，我的體重增加了 60 磅。

I was 200 pounds and I had a 36-inch waist and number three, I suffered from really bad social anxiety.

我當時體重 200 磅，腰圍 36 英寸，第三，我患有非常嚴重的社交焦慮症。

In fact, back in high school, I used to eat my lunch in a bathroom stall because I was just so shy, you know, to mingle with the other kids and yeah, you know, like I spent a lot of lonely nights at home playing video games, watching TV, you know, I was working a low-paying job.

事實上，高中的時候，我經常在廁所的隔間裡吃午飯，因為我太害羞了，你知道，我不願意和其他孩子打成一片，是的，你知道，我在家裡度過了很多孤獨的夜晚，打遊戲、看電視，你知道，我當時的工作收入很低。

My first job was at Subway, worked at McDonald's and I was just like, there's got to be more to life than this.

我的第一份工作是在賽百味（Subway）和麥當勞（McDonald's），當時我就想，生活肯定不止這些。

So, I started noticing that, you know, other people are, you know, my age, you know, back then too, they were cool, they were charismatic, you know, they had friends, they had pretty girls and, you know, when you're young and you're single, you know, like that's a huge pain point for you, right?

所以，我開始注意到，你知道，其他人，你知道，我的年齡，你知道，當時也是如此，他們很酷，他們很有魅力，你知道，他們有朋友，他們有漂亮的女孩，你知道，當你年輕的時候，你是單身，你知道，就像你的一個巨大的痛點，對不對？

Like you want to be invited to parties, you want to be able to hang out with cool people and, you know, attract women and stuff.

比如，你想被邀請參加聚會，你想和很酷的人一起玩，你知道，吸引女人什麼的。

So that's kind of what sparked my interest to learn more about social dynamics.

是以，這激發了我學習更多社會動態的興趣。

I read every book that I can get on, you know, how to be social, how to be confident, how to be charismatic and, you know, I had a career as an engineer that I pursued for about six years and yeah, I quit that six years ago actually and that's when I started my business full-time and I've been running it since then.

我讀了所有能找到的關於如何社交、如何自信、如何展現魅力的書，你知道，我曾有過一份工程師的職業，我從事了大約六年，是的，六年前我辭職了，那時我開始全職創業，從那時起我就一直在經營它。

So I've worked with hundreds of men, transformed their lives, I've been to five weddings so far, which is amazing.

是以，我與數百位男士合作，改變了他們的生活，到目前為止，我已經參加了五場婚禮，這太了不起了。

是的，這是一段非常有趣的旅程。

So you help shy guys with their social, sort of social abilities in terms of being able to connect with others, women in particular.

是以，你可以幫助害羞的男生提高社交能力，尤其是與女性建立聯繫的能力。

So it's interesting because even though the people on my channel here, they're not necessarily looking for a relationship, I mean, you may be, but at the same time, the focus has always been on careers and really building relationships at work so that you can get yourself promoted, so that you can have advancement opportunities, you can get the career that you actually want to do.

所以這很有趣，因為即使我頻道里的人不一定在尋找戀愛關係，我是說，你可能在尋找，但同時，重點一直都在職業上，真正在工作中建立關係，這樣你才能得到晉升，這樣你才能有晉升的機會，你才能得到你真正想做的職業。

So what do you find are similarities between, just amongst people in general who tend to be shy, who tend to have issues with communicating, what are the things that you tend to notice?

那麼，你覺得一般害羞的人和有交流障礙的人之間有什麼相似之處？

So if you think about it, you know, like you go to school and you're educated, right?

所以，如果你仔細想想，你知道，就像你去學校接受教育，對嗎？

A lot of my clients are professionals as well.

我的很多客戶也都是專業人士。

A lot of them are, they work in the STEM industry, so science, technology, engineering, math.

他們中的很多人都從事 STEM 行業，即科學、技術、工程和數學。

So I work with a lot of guys who are computer programmers, engineers, developers, you know, because if you think of their typical day, you know, they sit in front of a computer and the only interaction they have for the most part, right, would be some sort of a, you know, technically work-related question with their coworkers.

我的同事中有很多人都是電腦程序員、工程師、開發人員，你知道，如果你想想他們典型的一天，你知道，他們坐在電腦前，在大多數情況下，他們唯一的互動就是和同事討論一些，你知道，與工作相關的技術問題。

And, you know, when they went to school, you know, they learned the technical know-how to function properly in their career, but they were never taught how to, you know, think differently, right?

而且，你知道，當他們上學時，你知道，他們學到了在他們的職業生涯中正常運作的技術訣竅，但他們從來沒有被教過如何，你知道，換位思考，對不對？

They never knew how to, you know, tell a good story.

他們從來不知道如何講一個好故事。

They never knew how to give a great first impression.

他們從不知道如何給人留下美好的第一印象。

They never knew how to dress well that's authentic to their personality.

他們從不知道如何穿出自己的個性。

They never knew how to make friends, you know?

他們從不知道如何交朋友，你知道嗎？

So a lot of them, their issue stems from a knowledge gap.

是以，很多人的問題源於知識差距。

他們只是不知道怎麼做，你知道嗎？

So for example, let's say I bought you a car and it's a manual transmission and, you know, up to this point, you've only driven automatic.

比如說，我給你買了一輛車，是手動擋的，你知道，到目前為止，你只開過自動擋。

You're going to sit in the car frustrated because you're like, oh my God, like I don't know how to drive this thing.

你坐在車裡會很沮喪，因為你會想，天哪，我不知道怎麼開這玩意兒。

And now you're starting to, you know, like get mad at yourself.

現在你開始，你知道，就像生自己的氣一樣。

I'm like, how come I don't know how to drive this thing, whatever.

我就想，我怎麼會不知道怎麼開這玩意呢，管它呢。

And that's exactly what's happening with these guys from a social perspective, you know?

從社會角度來看，這些人的情況正是如此，你知道嗎？

And again, what I teach guys is beyond dating.

再說一遍，我教男生的東西已經超出了約會的範疇。

Dating is the last thing we talk about, right?

約會是我們談論的最後一件事，對嗎？

The first, you know, we cover everything from having a positive self-image, nonverbal communication, you know, addressing in a way that conveys your true personality, managing your anxiety, telling good stories, you know, expressing yourself in a way that's authentic and true to yourself, but at the same time, interesting to other people too.

首先，你知道，我們涵蓋了從擁有積極的自我形象、非語言溝通，你知道，以傳達真實個性的方式講話，控制焦慮，講好故事，你知道，以一種真實和忠實於自己的方式表達自己，但同時也讓其他人感興趣。

And I help them design their social life so that, you know, they're actually becoming better people.

我幫助他們設計自己的社交生活，讓他們真正成為更好的人。

They're doing things that they enjoy while they're meeting like-minded people along the way.

他們在做自己喜歡的事情的同時，還能結識志同道合的朋友。

So the biggest thing you said is they just don't know how.

所以，你說的最大問題是他們不知道如何去做。

是的，這肯定是一個知識鴻溝。

So if it's a knowledge gap, then that's something that we know we just have to learn and we have to start to implement it for ourselves.

是以，如果這是一個知識鴻溝，那麼我們知道我們必須學習，我們必須開始自己實施。

So what is one of the biggest things that they currently don't know that they need to know?

那麼，他們目前最不瞭解而又需要了解的事情是什麼呢？

What are people, yeah, what do people need to know?

Yeah, so the first thing that I tell my students when I work with them in my coaching program is we have to set a very clear goal about the kinds of people you want to meet, right?

是的，所以當我在教練課程中與我的學生合作時，我告訴他們的第一件事就是，我們必須設定一個非常明確的目標，即你想認識什麼樣的人，對嗎？

That's where it starts because, you know, having a clear goal acts as your compass.

這是它的起點，因為，你知道，有一個明確的目標就像你的指南針。

So like, it'll determine where you go, right?

所以，這將決定你的去向，對嗎？

If you're going out, it'll determine the types of stories you share with people.

如果你要外出，這將決定你與人分享的故事類型。

It'll determine how you dress, you know, the amount of information you share about yourself, that kind of stuff, right?

它將決定你的穿著打扮，你知道，你分享自己的信息量，諸如此類，對嗎？

We start with a defined goal about the kinds of people they want to meet.

我們首先要確定一個明確的目標，即他們想認識什麼樣的人。

And then the second thing is now we start talking about, well, what's good about yourself?

第二件事是，現在我們開始討論，你自己好在哪裡？

Because a lot of guys that I work with, they feel like they're not good enough, but they just haven't taken the time to assess their positive traits.

因為和我一起工作的很多人都覺得自己不夠好，只是他們沒有花時間去評估自己的積極特質。

You know, it's easy to feel like you're not good enough if you don't know what's good about you.

要知道，如果你不知道自己好在哪裡，就很容易覺得自己不夠好。

So making a list of your positive traits, things you like about yourself, things that are going well in your life, right?

所以，把你的積極特質、你喜歡的事情、你生活中順利的事情列成一個清單，對嗎？

Which I'm sure everyone listening right now, you know, you've got a lot of good things going on for you.

我相信現在在聽的每個人，你知道，你有很多好事要做。

And then the third thing that we'll work on would be your first impression.

然後，我們要做的第三件事就是你給人的第一印象。

Because here's the thing, people have made up their minds whether they like you or not in a matter of seconds, right?

因為，人們在幾秒鐘內就會決定是否喜歡你，對嗎？

So if you unknowingly give off the wrong first impression, you're going against the grain.

是以，如果你在不知情的情況下給人留下了錯誤的第一印象，那你就違背了規律。

You know, like now the interaction is seeing you on a more negative light instead of a more favorable light.

你知道，就像現在的互動會讓你看到更負面的一面，而不是更有利的一面。

So why not, you know, mitigate that from the very beginning?

那麼，為什麼不從一開始就減輕這種壓力呢？

You know, how you conduct yourself, right?

你知道，你的行為舉止，對嗎？

And then after that, you know, we work on managing your anxiety.

之後，我們會對你的焦慮進行管理。

You know, what do you do when you're nervous, you're having panic attacks when you're out interacting with people?

你知道，當你緊張時，當你與人交往時恐慌發作時，你會怎麼做？

Again, if you're someone who just doesn't have a lot of experience meeting people, then it's very uncomfortable to be in that space, right?

同樣，如果你是一個沒有太多與人交往經驗的人，那麼在這樣的空間裡會很不自在，對嗎？

So I want to actually just start with that first piece where you said it's defining the exact person that you want to connect to.

所以，我想從你說的第一點開始，即定義你想要聯繫的那個人。

Now, in a lot of the situations for people who are watching, they don't really have a choice.

現在，在很多情況下，觀眾別無選擇。

When you go to work, you have certain co-workers that you have to work with because they're on your team.

當你去上班時，你必須與某些同事一起工作，因為他們是你的團隊成員。

You have their boss that you have to deal with.

And so you can't really pick and choose the type of personality that you want to connect to.

是以，你無法真正挑選你想要聯繫的個性類型。

So how do you deal with it then when you're trying to figure out, okay, how do I make a connection with people at work?

那麼，當你想知道 "好吧，我該如何在工作中與人建立聯繫 "時，你該如何應對呢？

I have to make friends or hopefully be friendly with these particular types of people.

我必須與這些特殊類型的人交朋友，或希望與他們友好相處。

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如何自信地說話（當你害羞時）--Myke Macapinlac 專訪 (How to Speak Confidently (When You're Shy) - Myke Macapinlac Interview)

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