But it's the conversations that we have whilst we're down there, and how we respond to them, that will determine just how fast we get back out again.

但是，我們在下面進行的對話，以及我們如何應對這些對話，才是決定我們能多快重新出來的關鍵。

Essentially, people will have one of two responses to us when they see us in pain.

基本上，人們看到我們痛苦時會有兩種反應。

Sympathy or empathy.

同情或共鳴。

The sympathetic response.

交感神經反應。

The problem with sympathy is that it's based on the three things that worsen and prolong the bad situation that the person is in.

同情的問題在於，它是建立在三件事的基礎上的，而這三件事會惡化和延長當事人所處的糟糕境況。

Pity, victim status, and agreement.

憐憫、受害者身份和同意。

When we sympathize, we add our own sorrow, fear, annoyance, our pity to the other person's feelings.

當我們表示同情時，我們會將自己的悲傷、恐懼、惱怒和憐憫添加到對方的感受中。

And whilst they now feel less lonely, being joined by another person confirms that the pit is real.

雖然他們現在感到不那麼孤獨了，但與另一個人的相聚證實了這個 "坑 "是真實存在的。

And bad.

也很糟糕。

When we treat people like victims, they behave like victims.

當我們把人們當作受害者對待時，他們的行為也會像受害者一樣。

And agreement just makes the walls of the pit all the more intimidating.

協議讓坑壁更加令人生畏。

Sympathy always ends in the same way, with a bungled rescue attempt, which almost always fails, because deep down, we don't want to be rescued.

同情總是以同樣的方式結束，一次失敗的營救嘗試，幾乎總是以失敗告終，因為在內心深處，我們並不希望被營救。

We want to be right.

我們希望自己是對的。

Okay, everyone, take two, quiet on set, roll camera, and empathy.

好了，各位，拍兩張，在片場安靜，開拍，換位思考。

When we empathize with someone, we have the power to change the game.

當我們與他人產生共鳴時，我們就擁有了改變遊戲規則的力量。

By reflecting back the feeling that we see the person having, we show them that they have been understood.

通過回饋我們看到的對方的感受，我們向他們表明，他們已經被理解了。

Deeply understood.

深有體會。

By reflecting back their circumstances in plain words, we help them to step back.

我們用平實的語言反映他們的情況，幫助他們退一步。

And regain perspective, and importantly, the belief that they can repair their own situation for themselves.

並重新獲得視角，更重要的是，相信他們可以自己修復自己的狀況。

When all said and done, sympathy can actually feel nice for a bit.

說來說去，同情其實也能讓人感覺好受一些。

But when it comes to getting to a solution, only empathy has the power to get someone up and running again.

但是，在解決問題的過程中，只有換位思考才能讓人重新振作起來。

Ah, okay, take three.

啊，好吧，第三次