Have you ever felt that the more you wanted something, the more you realized it became harder to get it?

你是否有過這樣的感覺：你越想得到某樣東西，就越發現它變得越難得到？

Maybe that could be a relationship, a job, or success in something that you're working on.

也許是一段感情、一份工作，或者是你正在努力的某件事情取得了成功。

In this video, I'm going to share with you something I really wish I learned sooner, and I shared this with a friend over dinner who recently asked for my life advice.

在這段視頻中，我將與大家分享一些我真希望能早點學到的東西。最近，我在與一位朋友共進晚餐時，向他請教了我的人生建議。

She so badly wanted to stop feeling stuck and start making changes in her life that helped her to move forward for her career, her ambitions, and her relationship.

她非常希望不再感到困頓，並開始改變自己的生活，幫助自己在事業、抱負和感情方面向前邁進。

So let me explain how this works.

讓我來解釋一下它是如何工作的。

I used to overthink everything.

我過去總是對所有事情都想得太多。

So that's every decision, every move, every opportunity.

是以，每一個決定、每一個舉動、每一個機會都是如此。

And I thought if I just cared more about getting things perfect, about what people thought, about avoiding mistakes, I'd be more successful.

我想，如果我更在意事情是否完美，在意別人的看法，在意避免犯錯，我就會更成功。

But in reality, caring too much was just holding me back.

但實際上，太在乎只會讓我退縮。

So I made a change in my life, and it made me more confident and start to close that gap between having an idea to doing something and actually doing something about it by taking action on it.

是以，我對自己的生活做出了改變，這讓我更加自信，並開始縮小從有想法到行動之間的差距。

I stopped caring about looking polished.

我不再在意外表是否光鮮亮麗。

I stopped caring about having everything all figured out.

我不再在乎是否把所有事情都想清楚了。

I stopped caring about what people might think.

我不再在乎別人的看法。

And really, all of this changed everything for me.

事實上，這一切改變了我的一切。

Because I think here is the biggest mistake that most people make.

因為我認為這是大多數人犯的最大錯誤。

We think by caring deeply, that will make things work out.

我們認為，只要深入關心，事情就會迎刃而解。

We believe that if we just want something badly enough, it will happen.

我們相信，只要我們足夠渴望某件事情，它就會發生。

I mean, you hear all the things on social media, right?

我的意思是，你在社交媒體上聽到了所有的事情，對嗎？

If you want it as bad as you want to breathe and hustle harder.

如果你想得到它，就像你想呼吸和努力工作一樣。

Now, I think ambition is good.

現在，我認為有野心是好事。

I'm not saying you shouldn't care about what you want or work hard for it.

我並不是說你不應該關心自己想要什麼，也不是說你不應該為之努力。

But what I'm saying here is that you should try to be doing these to the best of your abilities.

但我想說的是，你應該盡力做到這些。

And if you're satisfied and happy with what you have done, that you have done all that you can, the outcome is relevant because you showed up and you did your part as best as you could.

如果你對自己所做的一切感到滿意和高興，認為自己已經盡了全力，那麼結果就是相關的，因為你出現了，你盡了自己最大的努力。

But sometimes, don't you feel that the opposite is true in your life?

但有時，你不覺得你的生活恰恰相反嗎？

I mean, think about it, right?

我是說，想想看，對吧？

The more desperate sometimes you are to get this brand new job, the less confident you might seem at that interview.

有時，你越是急於得到這份全新的工作，面試時就可能越不自信。

You get nervous, don't perform as well as you should, and you didn't get the job.

你會緊張，表現得不盡如人意，也就得不到這份工作。

And the more you chase someone in a relationship, you might go on a date and you really are super nervous and want to make it go well, the less attractive you become.

在戀愛關係中，你越是追逐某人，你可能會去約會，你真的超級緊張，想要讓約會順利進行，你就越沒有吸引力。

Because by doing that, we sometimes can come across as desperate and might even push them away.

因為這樣做有時會讓人覺得我們很絕望，甚至會把他們推開。

The more you want success in your career or building your business, trying to get that next big promotion or land that big client, the harder it feels to come by.

你越是想在事業上取得成功或建立自己的企業，越是想獲得下一次大的晉升或找到大客戶，就越是感覺到成功來之不易。

Because I think neediness chase and detachment attracts.

因為我認為需求會追逐，而疏遠會吸引。

And there's a reason why people who don't need success, they seem to get it.

不需要成功的人似乎也能獲得成功，這是有原因的。

Why the ones who don't care about being liked, they tend to attract the most respect.

為什麼那些不在乎被人喜歡的人，往往最能吸引別人的尊重？

It's because when you're no longer holding on to this outcome, you move differently, right?

因為當你不再執著於這個結果時，你的行動就會變得不同，對嗎？

And you show up differently.

你也會以不同的方式出現。

You become calmer, you become more present, and you're much more powerful.

你會變得更平靜，更有存在感，也更有力量。

And really the irony here is that that's when things start to fall into place.

具有諷刺意味的是，就在這時，一切都開始步入正軌。

And this brings me to the next point, and that is the law of detachment.

這讓我想到了下一點，那就是超脫法則。

So this is a law that says when you put in your best effort, let go of the result, life can work in your favor.

是以，這條定律告訴我們，當你付出最大的努力，放下結果，生活就會對你有利。

But now let me be clear.

但是，現在讓我把話說清楚。

I think this isn't about being careless about what you want.

我認為，這並不是對自己想要的東西漫不經心。

It's about being free to finally detach yourself from the outcome.

這就是自由，最終讓自己從結果中解脫出來。

So imagine how you feel to be free from anxiety, free from overthinking, free from the fear of failure, because here's the thing.

所以，想象一下，如果你不再焦慮，不再思慮過多，不再害怕失敗，你會是什麼感覺，因為事情就是這樣。

Now, if you get that job, great.

現在，如果你得到了那份工作，那就太好了。

If not, you find another one.

如果沒有，你就再找一個。

There will be a better one that comes along.

還會有更好的出現。

If the relationship works, amazing.

如果關係成功，那就太好了。

But if not, maybe it wasn't meant to be, and because a better person's out there waiting for you.

但如果不是，也許這並不是命中註定，因為有更好的人在等著你。

And if the opportunity happens, fantastic.

如果有機會，那就太好了。

But if not, something better is coming, and it's just going to be a matter of time.

但如果沒有，就會有更好的東西出現，這只是時間問題。

Either way, you're going to be okay.

無論如何，你都會沒事的。

I promise.

我保證

The best high performers, the best athletes, and the best entrepreneurs that I know, they care, but they're not attached.

我所認識的最優秀的高效能人士、最優秀的運動員和最優秀的企業家，他們都很在乎，但他們並不執著。

So they show up, they give their best, and then they let go.

是以，他們會出現，他們會全力以赴，然後他們會放手。

Because they know if they've done everything they can, they've already won, and so have you.

因為他們知道，如果他們已經竭盡全力，他們就已經贏了，你也一樣。

And I think it's time that we all embrace this with or without your energy.

我認為，現在是時候了，不管你有沒有精力，我們都應該接受這一點。

So the feeling that you're going ahead no matter what, and that helps you to show up more confident with every single step.

是以，無論發生什麼，你都會勇往直前，這種感覺會幫助你更自信地邁出每一步。

This really brings me to this next point of you finally accepting that you are enough.

這真的讓我想到了下一點，那就是你終於接受了自己已經足夠的事實。

So I'm a perfectionist by nature, and if you are too, shout out to all the perfectionists out there, including my friend who I love so dearly that asked for my advice.

是以，我天生就是一個完美主義者，如果你也是，請向所有的完美主義者，包括我深愛的、向我尋求建議的朋友，大聲喊出來。

What I learned about overcoming my perfectionism is that perfectionism isn't about trying to be perfect.

我在克服完美主義的過程中學到的是，完美主義並不是要努力做到完美。

It's about never feeling like you're good enough.

就是永遠不要覺得自己不夠好。

So for me to overcome this, I had to understand and fully embrace my own values, and to be confident with who I am.

是以，為了克服這個問題，我必須瞭解並完全接受自己的價值觀，並對自己的身份充滿信心。

So when I stopped procrastinating on embracing my own success, this is when everything changed.

是以，當我不再拖延擁抱自己的成功時，一切都改變了。

I launched my YouTube channel with just the phone in my pocket.

我只用口袋裡的手機就開通了自己的 YouTube 頻道。

I stood up on that stage first time as a paid speaker with huge stage fright, and I started my first business with no fancy website or an online brand.

我第一次以付費演講者的身份站在舞臺上，怯場得厲害；我第一次創業，沒有花哨的網站，也沒有網絡品牌。

Because here's the most powerful thing in life, is that when you embrace your progress as a person to become who you are versus trying to achieve a result that you wanted, you will achieve more than you ever thought possible.

因為人生中最強大的事情是，當你擁抱自己的進步，成為一個真正的自己，而不是試圖達到一個你想要的結果時，你所取得的成就將超乎你的想象。

Knowing that what you have is enough, and that you are enough for this world.

知道自己擁有的已經足夠，知道自己對這個世界來說已經足夠。

By taking that next step forward without knowing how it will end, but really just trusting in the process, that is the secret to success.

在不知道結局如何的情況下邁出下一步，而只是真正相信這個過程，這就是成功的祕訣。

And this really brings me to the point that this fear of judgment and rejection from others, they are really just stories that you're telling yourself.

這讓我明白，害怕別人的評價和拒絕，其實只是你在給自己講故事。

Because at the end of the day, people who matter in your life, they won't mind.

因為說到底，你生命中重要的人，他們不會介意的。

And for the people who mind, they don't matter, not in your life.

至於那些介意的人，他們並不重要，在你的生活中也不重要。

So why waste another moment living for someone else's approval?

所以，何必再為別人的認可而浪費生命呢？

Why not build a life you actually want?

為什麼不創造自己真正想要的生活呢？

The one that aligns with your values, your goals, and your version for what happiness and success means to you?

那個符合你的價值觀、目標以及你對幸福和成功的理解？

Whenever you're watching this video, I want you to have the courage, clarity, and the power to live life on your terms.

無論你何時觀看這段視頻，我都希望你能擁有勇氣、清醒和力量，按照自己的意願生活。

Because you become powerful when you stop caring about the wrong things, and you become unstoppable.

因為當你不再關心錯誤的事情時，你就會變得強大，變得勢不可擋。

If you've given your all, if you've shown up fully, then you have already won.

如果你已經傾盡全力，如果你已經全力以赴，那麼你就已經贏了。

Thank you so much for being here.

非常感謝你們的到來。

I'm Lori.

我是羅莉

If you like this video, you might also like this one about how this one idea changed how I work and live forever.

如果你喜歡這段視頻，你可能也會喜歡這段視頻，它講述了一個想法如何永遠改變了我的工作和生活方式。

I look forward to seeing you in the next video.

我期待著在下一個視頻中看到你。