That boy's more stiff than Michelle Bachman's husband at a Chippendales.

那孩子比米歇爾-巴克曼的丈夫在奇彭達舞廳還僵硬。

I will give you the money for a trip to Fancy Dentist.

我給你錢，讓你去看牙醫。

Really?

真的嗎？

Full leg?

全腿？

You would do that?

你會這麼做？

It's a favor I do for you, and at some point when I come to you for a favor, you will say yes, like I say yes now.

這是我幫你的忙，以後我找你幫忙時，你會答應的，就像我現在答應你一樣。

Well, I'd need to know what that favor might be.

好吧，我需要知道這個忙可能是什麼。

I can't say for sure.

我不能確定。

Will it be in a week or a month?

是一週後還是一個月後？

I can't say for sure.

我不能確定。

Will it be sexual?

會是性愛嗎？

Yes, it will be.

是的，會的。

This I can say for sure.

這一點我可以肯定。

Thank you, but no.

謝謝你，但是不行。

I am such an idiot.

我真是個白痴。

I like it.

我喜歡

Keep going.

繼續前進。

My bike guard is just sitting in the bathroom of my townhouse.

我的自行車護板就放在我的聯排別墅的浴室裡。

If I could only get up on the roof, then I could break in through the skylight like I used to when I snuck out in high school.

如果我能爬上屋頂，就能像高中時偷偷溜出去那樣，從天窗闖進去。

Hello, I'm Max.

你好，我是麥克斯。

Have we met?

我們見過面嗎？

When I was 15, I paid the security system guys extra to not wire the skylight, and then

15 歲那年，我額外付錢給安保系統的人，讓他們不要給天窗裝電線，然後

I snuck out and went to Ileana Shapiro's Sweet Sixteen.

我偷偷溜出去，去了伊蓮娜-夏皮羅的甜蜜十六歲派對。

Cute.

真可愛

I used to sneak out of the house and huff spray paint with an ex-marine, and sometimes

我曾偷偷溜出家門，和一名前海軍陸戰隊員一起噴漆，有時還

I'd just sneak out, look up at the stars, and dream.

我就偷偷溜出去，仰望星空，做著美夢。

And then you said that.

然後你說

See, I told you I could get the skylight open.

看吧，我說過我能把天窗打開。

Turn on a light.

打開一盞燈。

Wait till I close the closet door.

等我把衣櫃門關上

Why are the floors so bouncy?

地板為什麼這麼有彈性？

It's called carpet.

這就是所謂的地毯。

What?

什麼？

No way.

不可能

No way.

不可能

Is this Narnia?

這是納尼亞嗎？

I'm about to say something I swore I'd never say, O-M-G.

我正要說一些我發誓永遠不會說的話，O -M -G。

Again, O-M-G.

還是 O-M-G。

It's lame, but nothing else really nails it.

這很蹩腳，但沒有其他東西能真正做到這一點。

This is the room that O-M-G was born for.

這就是為 O-M-G 而生的房間。

Max, it's just my closet.

麥克斯，這只是我的衣櫥。

Your clothes have a house.

你的衣服有房子

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

Look.

你看

You are rich.

你很有錢。

Like, I know you said you were rich, but you are rich.

比如，我知道你說你很有錢，但你確實很有錢。

You're embarrassing me.

你讓我很尷尬

Are you crazy?

你瘋了嗎？

This is nothing to be embarrassed about.

這沒什麼好尷尬的。

What's this do?

這是幹什麼的？

O-M-G.

O-M-G。

You have a shoe rotisserie.

你有一個烤鞋機。

I designed it.

我設計的

I call it My Fairest Heels.

我稱之為 "我最美的高跟鞋"。

I'd judge you if that wasn't exactly what I'd call it if I had one.

如果我也有一個，我也會這麼叫它，我會對你評頭論足的。

Okay.

好吧

We should really go now.

我們真的該走了

Let me just grab my bike guard.

我去拿我的自行車護板

What?

什麼？

You have a museum in your closet?

你的衣櫃裡有博物館？

Come on.

來吧

It's just a bathroom.

這只是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。

It's a bathroom.

這是一間浴室。