Ladies and gentlemen...

女士們先生們

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Ladies and gentlemen, this country is still abuzz about Tuesday's night debate when Kamala Harris shook Donald Trump's hand, then handed him his ass.

女士們，先生們，週二晚上的辯論會上，卡馬拉-哈里斯（Kamala Harris）與唐納德-特朗普（Donald Trump）握手，然後把他的屁股交給了他，這個國家仍在為之沸騰。

It was... it was, I got to say, it was, uh...

這是......這是，我得說，這是，呃......

it was fun to watch.

看得很開心

It was fun to watch, instructive.

這很有趣，很有啟發性。

Also, a very public curb-stomping, because Tuesday's debate was watched by 67.1 million people, making it...

同時，這也是一次非常公開的 "踩踏"，因為週二的辯論有6710萬人收看，使其成為...

making it the most-watched TV show in the United States since the Super Bowl.

使其成為自 "超級碗 "以來美國收視率最高的電視節目。

That makes sense, because the winner of the Super Bowl and the debate were both endorsed by Taylor Swift.

這是有道理的，因為超級碗和辯論的獲勝者都是由泰勒-斯威夫特（Taylor Swift）代言的。

Of course...

當然...

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-♪ ♪ -♪

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

嗚--嗚--嗚

Of course, according to J.D. Vance,

當然，根據J.D. Vance的說法、

Swift's endorsement isn't that good.

斯威夫特的代言並沒有那麼好。

We admire Taylor Swift's music, but I don't think most Americans, whether they like her music or fans of hers or not, are gonna be influenced by a billionaire celebrity who I think is fundamentally disconnected from the interests, uh, and-and the problems of most Americans.

我們欣賞泰勒-斯威夫特的音樂，但我不認為大多數美國人，無論他們是否喜歡她的音樂，是否是她的粉絲，都會受到一個億萬富翁名人的影響。

Good point. God knows the last thing Americans need is a billionaire celebrity fundamentally disconnected from the interests and problems of most Americans.

說得好。天知道美國人最不需要的是一個從根本上與大多數美國人的利益和問題脫節的億萬富翁名人。

Vance, thank you for your service, Gwyneth.

萬斯 謝謝你的服務 格溫妮絲 Vance, thank you for your service, Gwyneth.

Vance isn't alone here.

這裡不只有萬斯一個人。

Both Trump and Vance say they don't care about Taylor Swift's Harris endorsement.

特朗普和萬斯都說他們不在乎泰勒-斯威夫特的哈里斯代言。

And the surest way to know someone doesn't care is when they keep telling you how much they don't care.

知道一個人不在乎的最可靠方法，就是他一直告訴你他有多不在乎。

I mean, I-I don't care... I don't care that...

我是說，我不在乎...我不在乎...

I don't care that Julie married a dentist named Chet Marinacci who lives at 272 Willis Avenue, is into scuba diving, and has a labradoodle named Nugget.

我不在乎朱莉嫁給了一個叫切特-馬里納奇（Chet Marinacci）的牙醫，他住在威利斯大道 272 號，喜歡潛水，還養了一隻名叫 "納吉"（Nugget）的拉布拉多犬。

Shh! Here he comes.

噓 Shh！他來了

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Oh, fuck you, Nugget.

去你的 掘金

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And just a reminder, in a CNN poll taken immediately after the debate, 63% said Harris won, and 37% said Trump won.

需要提醒的是，在辯論結束後立即進行的 CNN 民意調查中，63% 的人認為哈里斯獲勝，37% 的人認為特朗普獲勝。

Which... which, of course, just means that 37% of Americans don't own TVs.

這......這當然只是意味著 37% 的美國人沒有電視。

Despite this reality, Trump says he won, posting,

儘管現實如此，特朗普卻說他贏了，併發布了消息、

People are just starting to give me credit for having a great debate.

人們剛剛開始為我的精彩辯論點贊。

The voters and voter polls showed it, but the fake news media wasn't giving the credit that was due.

選民和民意調查都表明了這一點，但假新聞媒體卻沒有給予應有的肯定。

Now they are seeing the results with independent voters, evangelicals, and more, and saying,

現在，他們看到了獨立選民、福音派以及更多選民的結果，他們說、

Wow!

哇

Okay. All right.

好的好的

That's fine.

沒關係。

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All right, but wow can mean a lot of different things.

好吧，但 "哇 "有很多不同的含義。

Oh, you graduated the top of your class? Wow!

哦，你以全班第一名的成績畢業了？哇哦 Wow！

You spent the valedictorian speech shouting about people eating pets?

你在告別演說中大喊人們吃寵物？

Wow.

哇

Now, no matter what he says publicly, it sure seems like Trump knows he lost that debate, because earlier today, he truthed this.

現在，無論他公開說什麼，特朗普似乎都知道自己輸掉了辯論，因為今天早些時候，他說了這樣一句實話。

Comrade Kamala Harris and Crooked Joe have destroyed our country.

卡馬拉-哈里斯同志和歪嘴喬毀掉了我們的國家。

There will be no third debate.

沒有第三次辯論。

Wow.

哇

Oh.

哦。

Oh.

哦。

Ooh.

哦

Ooh.

哦

You know... you know J.D. Vance is gonna try to keep Trump away from Springfield, Ohio, now, because he is clearly a little scaredy cat.

你知道......你知道J.D.萬斯現在會試圖讓特朗普遠離俄亥俄州的斯普林菲爾德，因為他顯然是個膽小鬼。

Not all, but not all of Trump's pals are blowing smoke up his ample keister.

不是所有，但也不是所有特朗普的朋友都在給他吹牛。

Take RFK Jr., who said this on Fox News.

就拿小肯尼迪來說，他在福克斯新聞上說過這樣的話。

I think that, uh, Vice President Harris clearly won the debate in terms of her delivery, her polish, her organization, and her preparation.

我認為，哈里斯副總統顯然在辯論中獲勝，她的表達、她的修飾、她的組織和她的準備都很出色。

Surprisingly cogent analysis from Kennedy there.

肯尼迪的分析出人意料地有說服力。

Is it possible that he ate a second, smarter brain worm?

他有沒有可能吃了第二條更聰明的腦蟲？

Ate the first one? He went on.

吃了第一個？他接著說

RFK Jr., he continued.

他繼續說道。

I think on substance, uh, President Trump wins.

我認為在實質問題上，特朗普總統勝出。

On substance?

實質問題？

On substance.

關於實質問題。

Anyone who thinks Trump won that debate on substance is clearly on a substance.

任何認為特朗普在辯論中勝出的人，顯然都是有內涵的。

Of course...

當然...

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Beautiful.

真漂亮

That's beautiful. Beautiful remark.

說得真好。說得好

Of course, Bobby Jr. recently endorsed Trump, so Neil Cavuto asked him if he has any regrets.

當然，小鮑比最近支持了特朗普，是以尼爾-卡武託問他是否後悔。

Just to be clear, then, Robert, you are not changing your mind, uh, or fearing that you hooked up with the wrong horse here.

羅伯特，我只是想說清楚，你並沒有改變主意，呃，也沒有擔心自己上錯了馬。

How dare you, sir?

你怎麼敢，先生？

RFK Jr. would never hook up with a horse.

小肯尼迪絕不會和一匹馬勾搭在一起。

He would wait in the bushes till the horse was hit by a car.

他會在灌木叢中等待，直到馬被車撞倒。

Then he would eat the horse.

然後他就會把馬吃掉。

Today, sure, in some cultures, it's perfectly nor... a nice baguette.

今天，當然，在某些文化中，這也完全不是......一根漂亮的法棍。

Uh, today, Trump was in the swing state of Arizona, and the Arizona GOP welcomed him with a billboard that said, eat less kittens, vote Republican.

今天，特朗普來到搖擺州亞利桑那州，亞利桑那州共和黨用一塊廣告牌歡迎他，上面寫著：少吃小貓，投共和黨一票。

Cute.

真可愛

But why are you seizing on Trump's most embarrassing moment of the debate and using it for a campaign ad?

但你為什麼要抓住特朗普在辯論中最尷尬的時刻，並將其用於競選廣告？

After Biden's debate, you didn't see billboards saying,

拜登辯論結束後，你沒看到廣告牌上寫著：

I don't know where I am, vote Democratic.

我不知道我在哪裡，投民主黨一票吧。

Now...

現在...

Love you, sir. Love you, sir.

愛你，先生愛你，先生

My favorite interview, right over there.

我最喜歡的採訪，就在那邊。

With the election less than two months away,

距離大選還有不到兩個月的時間、

Donald Trump is bringing back one of his go-to scams, and it's the digital trading cards, which are online illustrations of Trump doing some of his favorite hobbies, business construction on the moon, business cowboy basketball, and cowboy business inspector gadget.

唐納德-特朗普（Donald Trump）又帶來了他最常用的騙術之一，那就是數字交易卡，這是特朗普從事他最喜歡的一些愛好的在線插圖，包括月球上的商業建築、商業牛仔籃球和牛仔商業檢查員小工具。

But Trump's biggest and latest cash cow is a coffee table book with over 300 pages of photos, like this pic of Trump signing a washing machine.

不過，特朗普最大、最新的搖錢樹是一本咖啡桌上的書，裡面有 300 多頁照片，比如這張特朗普在洗衣機上簽名的照片。

And you can buy that washing machine at the Home Despot.

你可以在 Home Despot 購買洗衣機。

We've reached a new lows.

我們達到了一個新的低點。

And PC Richard and I hate my sons.

我和 PC Richard 都恨我的兒子們。

They... I got something.

他們...我有發現

Yep.

是的。

There you go. There you go.

給你給你

And on that washing machine photo, the caption on that photo is,

在那張洗衣機的照片上，標題是

I withdrew from the Trans-Pacific Partnership and ended the disaster known as NAFTA, replacing it with a brand-new USMCA, the best trade deal ever made.

我退出了《跨太平洋夥伴關係協定》，結束了被稱為 "北美自由貿易協定 "的災難，取而代之的是一個全新的《美中經貿協定》，這是有史以來最好的貿易協定。

That, of course, is not to be confused with the caption under the photo next to it.

當然，這不能與旁邊照片下的說明相混淆。

I withdrew from the Trans-Pacific Partnership and ended the disaster known as NAFTA, replacing it with a brand-new USMCA, the best trade deal ever made.

我退出了《跨太平洋夥伴關係協定》，結束了被稱為 "北美自由貿易協定 "的災難，取而代之的是一個全新的《美中經貿協定》，這是有史以來最好的貿易協定。

How incompetent...

多麼無能

how incompetent do you have to be to use the same caption twice?

你得有多無能才能把同一個標題用兩次？

Do you know what this means?

你知道這意味著什麼嗎？

Donald Trump actually wrote this book.

這本書其實是唐納德-特朗普寫的。

That's... this just... this...

這......這只是......

Wow.

哇

What?

什麼？

Mm-hmm.

嗯

This also explains the Trump family's annual Christmas card.

這也解釋了特朗普家族每年的聖誕賀卡。

Season's greetings.

季節的問候

I withdrew from the Trans-Pacific Partnership and ended the disaster known as NAFTA, replacing it with a brand-new USMCA, best trade deal ever made.

我退出了《跨太平洋夥伴關係協定》，結束了被稱為 "北美自由貿易協定 "的災難，取而代之的是一個全新的、有史以來最好的貿易協定--USMCA。

If you want your own copy of this book, um, are you okay?

如果你想擁有這本書，你可以嗎？

Also, it don't come cheap, because its price is $99, or $499 with Trump's autograph.

此外，它的價格也不便宜，因為它的售價為 99 美元，如果加上特朗普的親筆簽名，則為 499 美元。

And for $600, you can get a personalized thank-you card from Donald Trump himself that reads,

此外，花上 600 美元，你還能得到一張由唐納德-特朗普親自贈送的個性化感謝卡，上面寫著："謝謝你，特朗普先生、

I withdrew from the Trans-Pacific Partnership and ended the disaster known as NAFTA, replacing it with a brand-new USMCA, best trade deal ever made.

我退出了《跨太平洋夥伴關係協定》，結束了被稱為 "北美自由貿易協定 "的災難，取而代之的是一個全新的、有史以來最好的貿易協定--USMCA。

Uh...

呃...

Mm-mm.

嗯

Uh...

呃...

No, there was a bit of surprising news yesterday.

不，昨天有一個令人吃驚的消息。

Um, it turns out there's actually a third guy in politics, and he's the president.

原來政壇上還有第三個人，他就是總統。

Uh, his name is Joe Biden, and he attended a 9-11 memorial event in Pennsylvania and had a bit of fun with one of the attendees who was wearing a Trump hat.

他叫喬-拜登（Joe Biden），參加了賓夕法尼亞州的一個 "9-11 "紀念活動，並與一位戴著特朗普帽子的與會者開了個玩笑。

I'll give you my presidential hat.

我把我的總統帽子給你。

Presidential seal on it.

上面有總統印章。

You want an autograph?

要簽名嗎？

Oh, sure, I'll...

哦，當然，我會...

Huh?

啊？

You remember your name?

你還記得自己的名字嗎？

I don't remember my name. I'm small.

我不記得自己的名字了。我很小

There you go, man. I'll...

你去那裡，男人。我...

You got... I-I need that hat.

你有...我需要那頂帽子

You want my autograph?

你想要我的簽名嗎？

Hell no.

不可能

Uh-uh.

嗯

No way, Jack.

沒門 傑克

Uh-uh.

嗯

Hey, you take that, Jack.

嘿，你拿著，傑克

I might not be the best debater, but I can still zing at the old hat chat.

我可能不是最好的辯手，但我還是能在老式聊天室裡侃侃而談。

The old chapeau, toe-to-toe.

老式頭巾，趾高氣揚。

I'm a... I'm a Beanie Meemie.

我是...我是豆豆米米

They call me Fedora the Explorer.

他們叫我 "探索者費多拉"。

Come on, hat.

來吧，帽子

So, those are all the top stories from our home planet, right?

那麼，這些就是我們地球上最熱門的新聞了，對嗎？

Uh, but there's also stuff that's coming out of the White House.

但白宮也有消息傳出。

There's a lot of stories from our home planet, right?

我們的地球上有很多故事，對嗎？

Uh, but there's also stuff going on in outer space, because this morning, aboard the SpaceX Crew Dragon, private citizens performed a spacewalk for the first time ever.

今天上午，在太空探索技術公司（SpaceX）的 "乘員龍號"（Crew Dragon）上，民間人士有史以來第一次進行了太空行走。

It's incredible.

太不可思議了

Regular people without astronaut training are going into space and working up there.

沒有受過太空人訓練的普通人也能進入太空工作。

You know what that means?

你知道這意味著什麼嗎？

Armageddon was plausible all along.

大決戰一直都是可信的。

Michael Bay, we owe you an apology.

邁克爾-貝，我們欠你一個道歉。

And you owe me $15 for the performers' Rise of the Beasts.

你還欠我 15 美元，買表演者的《野獸崛起》。

The spacewalks...

太空行走

The spacewalks were less than...

太空行走的時間不到...

How long were they?

它們有多長？

Ten minutes?

十分鐘？

The spacewalks were less than ten minutes long, and from a technical perspective, they were modest.

太空行走的時間不到十分鐘，從技術角度來看，太空行走並不長。

Now, if you're wondering what a modest spacewalk looks like, okay, it's, uh, it's something like this.

現在，如果你想知道適度的太空行走是什麼樣的，好吧，是這樣的。

¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶

¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶ ¶¶

That's how they shot Apollo 13.

他們就是這樣拍攝《阿波羅13號》的。

They just did this the whole time.

他們從頭到尾都是這樣。

Let's take a look at the big space walk.

讓我們來看看太空漫步吧。

There they are doing their space thang.

他們在那裡做他們的太空表演。

Pretty amazing. Must have been fun.

太神奇了一定很有趣

Not really a walk. More of a gentle bob.

不是真正的散步。更像是輕輕晃動。

But that's fine.

不過沒關係。

It's like when your aunt says she's going for a run.

就像你姨媽說她要去跑步一樣。

You're not going for a run, Diane.

你不是去跑步吧 黛安

You're wearing hoop earrings.

你戴著環形耳環

And carrying a pack of cigarettes.

還帶著一包香菸。

You're gonna go sit on the bench in the park.

你要去公園的長椅上坐著。

The reason the astronauts were holding their arms like this is to test the flexibility of the suits.

太空人之所以這樣抱著胳膊，是為了測試宇航服的靈活性。

A move some are calling a sort of dance in the vacuum of space.

有人稱這一舉動是在真空中跳舞。

This would not be the first time.

這已經不是第一次了。

We all know the historic footage of Neil Armstrong.

我們都知道尼爾-阿姆斯特朗的歷史鏡頭。

That's one small step for man.

這是人類邁出的一小步。

Now watch me whip. Now watch me nay-nay.

現在看我鞭打現在看我嘮嘮叨叨

We got a great show for you tonight.

今晚有一場精彩的演出

The great Jeff Bridges is here.

偉大的傑夫-布里吉斯來了

When we come back, I'll be cooking with my lovely and talented wife,

我們回來後，我會和我可愛又有才華的妻子一起做飯、

Emily McGee.

艾米麗-麥基

Stick around.

堅持住

NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory, California Institute of Technology

美國國家航空航天局噴氣推進實驗室、加州理工學院