Name: 10 分鐘特雷弗-諾亞脫口秀 | Netflix (10 Minutes of Trevor Noah Standup | Netflix)
Uploaded: 2024-07-16T05:22:54.000Z
Duration: 10 min 3 s

過去簡單式

I thought if humans were ever threatened with an existential threat, we would abandon every single fight we were having and we would come together to win.

我想，如果人類面臨生存威脅，我們就會放棄一切爭鬥，團結起來贏得勝利。

Hell, I thought if that virus came, we'd all be there, we'd be like, all right, no more racism, no more sexism.

該死的，我想如果病毒來了，我們都會在那裡，我們會說，好了，沒有種族主義了，沒有性別歧視了。

And we'd go and we'd defeat the enemy aliens and then we'd come back and be like, all right, let's get back to the racism and sexism.

我們去打敗敵人的外星人，然後回來說，好吧，讓我們回到種族主義和性別歧視上來。

Everyone in the world came together to fight the aliens.

全世界的人都聚集在一起，共同對抗外星人。

We stopped all of our, there was no politics.

我們停止了一切活動，沒有政治活動。

然後在現實生活中，我們該怎麼辦？

威爾-史密斯本應是我們的英雄。

As humans, we've become so comfortable knowing that we forget how uncertain life is.

作為人類，我們對自己的認知已經變得如此自在，以至於忘記了生活是多麼的不確定。

We get taught every single day that we know, we know, we know, we get comfortable knowing.

我們每天都在接受這樣的教育：我們知道，我們知道，我們知道，我們知道得很自在。

You understand what a magic trick that is?

If you had that technology 500 years ago, you were like, oh, it'll rain on Thursday.

如果你在 500 年前擁有這種技術，你就會想，哦，星期四會下雨。

People would be like, kumba dindang, ginga wandang, ginga kumba dindang, ginga wandang, dindang kumba, wanda.

人們會說，昆巴-丁當，金加-萬當，金加-昆巴-丁當，金加-萬當，丁當-昆巴，萬達。

I remember how confident world leaders were as well.

我還記得世界各國領導人是多麼自信。

One of my favorites was Prime Minister of the UK,

He went to a hospital during the pandemic and he was hugging people.

大流行病期間，他去了一家醫院，和人們擁抱。

Like right at the beginning, he was hugging people, going around hugging people.

比如一開始，他就擁抱別人，到處擁抱別人。

Prime Minister Johnson, do you think it's appropriate for you to be hugging people during a pandemic?

約翰遜首相，您認為在大流行病期間擁抱人們合適嗎？

He's like, first of all, everyone needs to calm down.

他說，首先，大家都得冷靜下來。

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma.

恕我失陪，我得走了，媽，媽，媽，媽，媽，媽，媽，媽，媽，媽，媽。

He was like, folks, we're gonna have it handled in 21 days, 21 days.

他說，夥計們，我們會在21天內處理好的，21天。

That disease came and kicked Trump and Boris deep in the chest.

這種疾病襲來，深深地踢中了特朗普和鮑里斯的胸口。

兩人都進了重症監護室，差點喪命。

Only reason they survived is because they're both heads of state.

他們活下來的唯一原因是他們都是國家元首。

Boris, to his credit, he came out of that hospital like he had seen Jesus.

值得稱讚的是，鮑里斯從醫院出來後，就像見到了耶穌。

He came from the hospital, held a press conference, shut everything down.

他從醫院出來，召開了新聞發佈會，關閉了一切。

他來到那裡，幾乎沒有穿衣服。

He was like, everybody, this is not a joke.

I was half expecting coronavirus to come around the corner like.

我還以為冠狀病毒會在轉角處出現。

Cough, cough, cough, cough, cough, cough.

咳嗽，咳嗽，咳嗽，咳嗽，咳嗽，咳嗽。

Trump, on the other hand, didn't give a damn.

He came out of the hospital, could barely breathe, but still held a press conference.

他從醫院出來後，幾乎無法呼吸，但仍召開了新聞發佈會。

嗯，嗯，嗯，嗯，嗯，嗯，嗯。

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10 分鐘特雷弗-諾亞脫口秀 | Netflix (10 Minutes of Trevor Noah Standup | Netflix)

pandemic

trick

barely

awful