Name: 想知道為什麼男生不想結婚嗎？看看喜劇演員 Akaash Singh 怎麼說！ (Getting Married is Just for Women | Akaash Singh | Stand Up Comedy)
Uploaded: 2024-02-19T21:01:30.000Z
Duration: 3 min 37 s

情態助動詞 A2

She's very eager to get married, my girl, and she can't figure out why I'm not.

我女友，她很想結婚，但她不明白我為什麼不想。

形容詞比較級

And this is because marriage is much better for women.

Like from the beginning onwards, it literally starts with a man getting on his knees begging you.

從一開始，就有一個男人跪下來求你。

"Please, spend the rest of your life with ugly stupid me."

「請和醜陋愚蠢的我共度餘生。」

You also get an exquisite piece of jewelry that cost tens of thousands of dollars and the arms of a Liberian boy.

你還會得到一件價值數萬美元的精美首飾和一個賴比瑞亞男孩的手臂

So you can show the whole world, "Look how much someone knows me."

好讓你向全世界展示「看看有個人多愛我」。

You know how much she told me you're supposed to spend on an engagement ring?

你知道他告訴我你應該花多少錢買訂婚戒指嗎？

Three paychecks. That's what she told me.

三份薪水。她是這麼告訴我的。

You don't use it to write or eat or fuck you. It is useless.

你不能用它來寫作、吃飯或比中指。根本沒用。

《辛普森家庭》的角色都沒有無名指。

You also get a party and it's not even a party.

你還能辦一個派對，而且還不是派對。

It's a gala. It's straight out of The Great Gatsby.

根本是一場盛會。就像《大亨小傳》裡的宴會一樣。

Where all of my friends and family, all of your friends and family gather around and stare at you, the beautiful blushing bride in a gorgeous gown, and then there's some dumb motherfucker standing next to her in a rented tux.

我所有的朋友和家人，你所有的朋友和家人都聚集在一起，盯著你，美麗的紅著臉的新娘穿著華麗的禮服，然後有一個愚蠢的混蛋穿著租來的禮服站在她旁邊。

We don't even have money to buy the tux because we use the budget on centerpieces.

我們甚至沒有錢買禮服，因為我們把預算都花在了中央裝飾品上。

If you don't know what a centerpiece is, guys, it's basically a gorgeous obstruction to keep you from talking to the other side of the table.

如果你不知道什麼是中央裝飾品，它基本上就是一個華麗的障礙物，讓你無法與餐桌另一側的人交談。

It's like a Mason–Dixon line, but for friendship.

這就像梅森-迪克森線，但用在友誼上。

Because we all, we can't make friends, we gotta be staring at the bride and then whatever it is that's walking around her shoulder everywhere she goes.

因為我們都無法交朋友，我們必須盯著新娘看，然後無論她走到哪裡，都要盯著她肩膀上的一切。

You go replace me with a fanny pack, nobody would notice.

把我換成腰包也不會有人注意到的。

And I asked my girl and she's like, "Babe, it's been my dream since I was three years old."

我問我的女友，她說：「寶貝，這是從我三歲時的夢想。」

Ok. When I was three years old, I wanted a dragon.

Sometimes your dream is not really, you know what I mean?

有時候，你的夢想並不是真的，你明白我的意思嗎？

我仍然夢想成為一名 NBA 球員。

How about we run on Madison Square Garden, invite all our friends and family over and I dunk on them for eight hours.

要不，我們在麥迪遜廣場花園辦宴會，邀請所有親朋好友過來，我在他們身上灌籃八個小時。

I'm just saying there should be something for men.

我只是說，應該為男性提供一些東西。

You can, honestly, I'll let you have the party that's just for you.

老實說，我會讓你擁有只屬於你的派對。

Look how unhappy the women are (about) the idea.

看看那些女人對於這個想法多不開心。

A diamond is forever, a Camry is like, six years.

鑽石是永恆的，Camry 只能開六年。

It's a whole different timeline and I don't even like driving. I just want you to feel that pressure.

時間線完全不同，我甚至不喜歡開車。我只是想讓你感受到那種壓力。

When you're like, "Babe, what kind of car do you want?"

當你說：「寶貝，你想要什麼樣的車？」

And I'm like, "I don't know. It depends, depends on how much you love me."

我就會說：「不知道。那要看你有多愛我了。」