And first of all, old Asian people, they don't watch TV, they judge the TV.

首先，年長的亞洲人，他們是不看電視的，他們評斷電視。

This is like, I'm just sitting next to my dad on the couch and he's wearing his like old Asian man costume, which is just a wife beater and tighty-whities.

像我當時就跟我爸一起坐在沙發上。，而他正穿著他那套年長亞洲男人的裝扮， 一件吊嘎加緊身白色內褲。

He just sitting there, arms folded, judging the TV like.

他就坐在那，雙手環胸，評斷著電視內容，就像這樣。

He just makes random noises around the house.

他就在家裡到處發出一些亂七八糟的噪音。

Now whenever he sneezes, it's never just a sneeze.

每當他打噴嚏，從來都不只是一個噴嚏就結束。

It's like a whole tsunami of sound waves that comes after.

它會像整個音波的海嘯一樣接二連三。

It's just like.

就像這樣。

I'm like, "What the fuck, Dad? (Did) you just have an orgasm? What was that?"

我說：「這是怎樣？爸，你剛是性高潮了嗎？ 那是怎麼回事？」

And he doesn't understand what I'm saying half the time.

而他大部分時候都聽不懂我在說什麼。

He's like, "Oh, orgasm. Okay. The orgasm. Orgasm."

他說：「噢性高潮。好。性高潮。性高潮。」

And he's trying to make me explain everything to him on TV.

然後他試圖讓我解釋電視上的一切給他聽。

Do you understand how difficult it is to explain a rap music video to an old Chinese man?

你知道要跟個年長的亞洲男人解釋饒舌音樂影片的內容有多難嗎？

We're just sitting there and my dad was like,

我們就坐在那裡，然後我爸說：

"Jimmy, Jimmy, what (does) it mean when he said Lamborghini Mercy? What's that?”

「吉米、吉米，他說的那個藍寶堅尼仁慈是什麼意思？ 那是什麼？」

And I'm like, "Dad, he's bragging about his car. It's a Lamborghini Murcielago, very expensive car. You know what that is, right?”

我說：「爸，他在炫耀他的車。那是藍寶堅尼蝙蝠，非常貴的車。 你知道那是什麼對吧？」

And he's like, "Oh, okay, okay, yes, yes."

他說：「噢好、好、沒錯沒錯。」

That's when you know they have no idea what the fuck you just said.

這時候你知道他們根本聽不懂你剛剛到底說了什麼。

He's like, “Okay, okay, yes, yes. Lamborghini, okay."

他說：「好、好、沒錯沒錯。藍寶堅尼，好的。」

"Jimmy, what (does) it mean when he said, 'Your chick she so thirsty,' what's that?"

「吉米，他說的『你馬子她超飢渴』是什麼意思？ 那是什麼？」

And I was like, "Shit. Umm...

我說：「該死。呃......

Dad, he's making fun of somebody's girlfriend, okay? Saying like, she likes attention from other guys, and she likes to do sex stuff with them.

爸，他在取笑某個人的女朋友，在說她喜歡被其他男生關注， 而且她喜歡和他們發生關係。

You know, like blow jobs and such."

你懂，像口X之類的。」

And he's like, "Oh, okay, okay, yes, yes, yes. Blow jobs, okay."

然後他說：「噢好、好，對對對，口X，好的。」

"Jimmy, Jimmy, I'm thirsty too, okay? So..."

「吉米、吉米，我也渴了，所以......」

I was like, "Oh God, no, no."

我說：「噢天啊，不、不行。

I lost my translation.

我失去我的語言轉換能力了。

It′s disgusting.

那真是太噁心了。