Name: 我們逃避親密關係的7個原因 (7 Reasons Why We Avoid Intimacy)
Uploaded: 2023-01-25T18:20:45.000Z
Duration: 6 min 50 s

情態副詞

intimacy is often associated with sex because being intimate is seen as being physically close to someone else.

親密關係往往與性聯繫在一起，因為親密關係被看作是在身體上與他人接近。

轉承詞

However, there are other forms of intimacy that don't involve sex or touch at all, Such as emotional, intellectual experiential and spiritual intimacy, that is just as important to a relationship as the physical kind.

然而，還有其他形式的親密關係，根本不涉及性或觸摸，如情感、智力體驗和精神上的親密關係，這對一段關係來說與身體上的親密關係同樣重要。

反身代名詞

All these types of intimacy can help strengthen healthy relationships, but sometimes you might notice yourself or your partner avoiding or being unable to be as close as you want to be.

所有這些類型的親密關係可以幫助加強健康的關係，但有時你可能注意到你自己或你的伴侶迴避或無法像你想要的那樣親密。

Perhaps they're anxious about being so open or afraid to show their insecurities with you.

也許他們對如此開放感到焦慮，或者害怕與你一起展示他們的不安全感。

If you're curious to know why you or your partner may be avoiding intimacy.

如果你好奇地想知道為什麼你或你的伴侶可能在逃避親密關係。

Here are seven reasons why we avoid intimacy, rejection and engulf.

以下是我們避免親密關係、拒絕和吞噬的七個原因。

One reason why you may avoid intimacy may have to do with fears of rejection and engulf.

你可能避免親密關係的一個原因可能與對拒絕和吞噬的恐懼有關。

Mint, this means that you're afraid of possibly being controlled, dominated or losing yourself in your relationship.

薄荷，這意味著你害怕可能被控制，被支配或在關係中失去自我。

According to psychologist dr Margaret paul, co founder of inner bonding.

根據心理學家瑪格麗特-保羅博士，內在結合的共同創始人。

Most people have underlying false beliefs that when triggered in their relationship, cause fears that lead to controlling protective and avoidant behavior.

大多數人都有潛在的錯誤信念，一旦在他們的關係中被觸發，就會引起恐懼，導致控制性保護和迴避行為。

These false beliefs may involve believing that you're not enough for your partner or that you need to give up part of yourself for your relationship.

這些錯誤的信念可能涉及相信你對你的伴侶來說是不夠的，或者你需要為你的關係放棄自己的一部分。

In cases like this communication is key when you're open to learning about you and your partner's fears and underlying false beliefs, your relationship becomes an ever evolving one and that's a good thing.

在這樣的情況下，溝通是關鍵，當你願意瞭解你和你的伴侶的恐懼和潛在的錯誤信念時，你們的關係就會成為一個不斷髮展的關係，這是一件好事。

Most people who identify with fearing abandonment have an insecure attachment style psychotherapist shaman john states that this can become a hindrance to making deep emotional and intimate connections with a partner.

大多數認同害怕被拋棄的人都有不安全的依戀風格，心理治療師薩滿-約翰指出，這可能成為與伴侶建立深厚情感和親密關係的障礙。

Similarly, according to holistic psychologist, Nicole lapin Burrill, Having an insecure attachment style may lead to anxieties about whether or not your own needs and desires can be met.

同樣，根據整體心理學家妮可-拉賓-伯瑞爾（Nicole lapin Burrill）的說法，擁有不安全的依戀風格可能會導致對自己的需求和慾望是否能得到滿足的焦慮感。

You may expect the other person to abandon and hurt you in some way.

你可能期望對方以某種方式拋棄和傷害你。

Typically these attachment styles, if unresolved, play out in adulthood.

通常情況下，這些依戀方式如果沒有得到解決，會在成年後發揮出來。

For instance, if you were a clingy child, you'll generally be clingy towards a romantic partner later.

例如，如果你是一個粘人的孩子，你以後一般也會對一個浪漫的伴侶粘人。

Or if you've learned that you can't rely on your caregiver, you may end up being unable to rely on a partner as an adult avoidant personality disorder, according to the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders.

或者，如果你已經知道你不能依靠你的照顧者，你可能最終無法依靠夥伴，因為根據精神障礙診斷和統計手冊，你是一個成年迴避型人格障礙。

Five avoidant personality disorder is characterized by extreme avoidance of social interaction driven by fears of rejection and feeling of interpersonal inadequacy.

五是迴避型人格障礙的特點是，由於害怕被拒絕和感到人際關係不健全而極端迴避社會交往。

I'm sure a lot of us can relate to feeling like this, right?

我相信我們很多人都能體會到這樣的感覺，對嗎？

This could be why many are anxious, according to psychologist Maria Andreas this disorder is a combination of both genetic and environmental factors.

這可能是許多人焦慮的原因，根據心理學家瑪麗亞-安德烈亞斯的說法，這種疾病是遺傳和環境因素的結合。

Studies have shown that avoidant personality disorder is positively correlated with neuroticism and has a negative relationship with extroversion.

研究表明，迴避型人格障礙與神經質呈正相關，與外向性有負相關。

This suggests that these people tend to be more anxious, fearful and understandably more introverted and closed off.

這表明，這些人往往更加焦慮、恐懼，可以理解為更加內向和封閉。

The next point deals with childhood sexual abuse, skip to the next point.

下一點涉及到兒童性虐待，跳到下一點。

If you think this might trigger you childhood sexual abuse according to therapist Wendy Mat's definition, sexual abuse occurs whenever one person dominates and exploits another by means of sexual activity or suggestion, survivors of sexual abuse may experience difficulties with trust, have a fear of intimacy, a fear of being different and have difficulty establishing interpersonal boundaries in relationships in these cases, it's important to keep the lines of communication open with your partner and perhaps consider therapy as an option to help deal with these childhood traumas.

如果你認為這可能會觸發你的童年性虐待根據治療師溫迪-馬特的定義，只要一個人通過性活動或暗示來支配和剝削另一個人，就會發生性虐待，性虐待的倖存者可能會經歷信任困難，對親密關係有恐懼，害怕與眾不同，在這些情況下很難建立人際關係的界限，與你的伴侶保持溝通的管道很重要，也許考慮將治療作為一種選擇來幫助處理這些童年創傷。

Fear of intimacy can also stem from emotional and physical abuse which is committed against intimate partners, current or former spouses, boyfriends and girlfriends.

對親密關係的恐懼也可能源於對親密伴侶、現任或前任配偶、男友和女友的情感和身體虐待。

Emotional abuse can include verbal assault, dominance control, isolation, ridicule or the use of intimate knowledge for degradation, it impacts the mental health and well being of the victim and it is often a precursor to physical abuse.

情感虐待可以包括言語攻擊、支配控制、孤立、嘲笑或利用私密知識進行侮辱，它影響到受害者的心理健康和福祉，而且往往是身體虐待的前兆。

There's a high correlation between physical and emotional abuse and batterer populations and verbal abuse early in a relationship predicts subsequent physical abuse.

身體和情感虐待與打人者人群之間有很高的相關性，在關係早期的言語虐待可以預測隨後的身體虐待。

Children who are emotionally abused may grow into adults who fear ridicule or verbal abuse if they share anything with others which can lead to an inability to share and be vulnerable in adult relationships due to these anxieties and fears.

遭受情感虐待的兒童長大後，如果與他人分享任何東西，他們可能會害怕嘲笑或辱罵，這可能導致他們在成人關係中由於這些焦慮和恐懼而無法分享和脆弱。

If this is familiar at all, please reach out to a qualified health care provider or mental health professional.

如果這一點很熟悉，請向合格的醫療保健提供者或心理健康專家諮詢。

如果你正在為父母的忽視而掙扎。

According to licensed clinical psychologist diana Abrams, a person's attachment style is the way they behave in a relationship based on the way they were cared for as a child.

根據持證臨床心理學家戴安娜-艾布拉姆斯的說法，一個人的依戀風格是他們在關係中的行為方式，基於他們小時候被照顧的方式。

Abrams notes that not feeling secure in your relationship with your parent or caregiver can lead to three different types of attachment styles, avoidant anxious or disorganized.

艾布拉姆斯指出，在你與父母或照顧者的關係中沒有安全感會導致三種不同類型的依戀風格，迴避型焦慮型或混亂型。

If you have an avoidant attachment style, you typically avoid intimacy and this is often due to caregivers being largely unavailable.

如果你有迴避型依戀風格，你通常會迴避親密關係，這往往是由於照顧者基本不存在。

One study, published in the International Journal of Sexual Health found having unavailable parents might even lead to sexual difficulties later in life.

發表在《國際性健康雜誌》上的一項研究發現，擁有不可用的父母甚至可能導致日後的性困難。

Those with an anxious attachment style tend to crave intimacy.

那些具有焦慮依戀風格的人傾向於渴望親密關係。

It usually forms when a child has inconsistent caregivers who are not always there for them.

它通常是在孩子有不一致的照顧者時形成的，這些照顧者並不總是在他們身邊。

If you have a disorganized attachment style, you tend to both crave intimacy and avoid it.

如果你有一個混亂的依戀風格，你傾向於既渴望親密關係又避免它。

This tends to occur when a child grows up afraid of their caregiver.

當孩子長大後害怕他們的照顧者時，這往往會發生。

That's why it's also called fearful avoidant attachment.

這就是為什麼它也被稱為恐懼迴避型依戀。

Then it's been linked to poor coping skills, erratic behavior in difficult or volatile relationships, separation and overdependence.

然後，它與應對能力差、在困難或動盪的關係中行為不穩定、分離和過度依賴有關。

Do you tend to call your parents for advice when something goes wrong in your relationships, it's possible that the effects of a close relationship with your parents may influence the quality of your romantic relationship separation.

當你的人際關係出現問題時，你是否傾向於打電話給你的父母徵求意見，有可能與你父母的親密關係的影響可能會影響你的戀愛關係分離的品質。

Individual, asian is defined by Margaret Schoenberger Mahler as the developmental phase in which you gradually differentiate yourself from your mother, develop awareness of your separate identity, entertain relatively autonomous status.

個人，亞裔被瑪格麗特-舍恩伯格-馬勒定義為逐漸將自己與母親區分開來的發展階段，發展對自己獨立身份的認識，獲得相對自主的地位。

Psychiatrist helm Starlin noted that a very close relationship with parents may actually end up hindering romantic relationships in adolescence.

精神病學家舵手斯塔林指出，與父母非常親密的關係實際上可能最終阻礙了青春期的浪漫關係。

A fear of intimacy, as we've explained, is due to anxiety caused by a variety of reasons.

正如我們所解釋的，對親密關係的恐懼是由於各種原因造成的焦慮。

The fear could also lead to depression because as human beings we're emotionally and psychologically wired for social connection and closeness, could you relate to any of these points?

恐懼也可能導致抑鬱症，因為作為人類，我們在情感和心理上都渴望社會聯繫和親近，你能體會到這些觀點嗎？

If you find this video helpful, be sure to like subscribe and share it with those who might benefit from it.

如果你覺得這段視頻對你有幫助，一定要喜歡訂閱並與那些可能從中受益的人分享。

 Thanks so much for watching and see you in our next video. 

非常感謝您的觀看，我們在下一個視頻中再見。