M: Hey guys.

M：嘿，夥計們。

Today, I'm cosplaying as an adult!

今天，我以成年人的身份參加COSPLAY!

So that I totally blend in.

這樣，我就完全融入了。

They don't know that I secretly wish I was wearing a unicorn onesie.

他們不知道我暗地裡希望自己穿著一件獨角獸連體衣。

Look, me, all normal-ish looking.

看，我，看起來都很正常。

S: Look at you adult!

S:看看你這個成年人!

What you're gonna do? File some taxes?

你要做什麼？報一些稅嗎？

M: You know, when you go on the internet and there're those pictures of those perfect pancakes?

M：你知道，當你上網時，有那些完美的煎餅的圖片？

It's come up on pinterest. It's come up on Instagram.

它出現在pinterest上。它出現在Instagram上。

It's come up on facebook. It's been ON reddit!

它出現在Facebook上。它已經在reddit上了!

Those perfect pancakes exist in Japan! S: Yes!

那些完美的煎餅在日本是存在的!S: 是的!

M: All those pictures were taken from the shop that we're in right now.

M：所有這些照片都是從我們現在所在的商店拍的。

So we're in West Ginza, Aoyama Garden.

所以我們在西銀座，青山花園。

It makes this perfect pancake which I can not wait to dig into.

它做出了這種完美的煎餅，我已經迫不及待地想吃了。

Cause we're surrounded by pancakes right now, as we're talking.

因為我們現在正被煎餅包圍著，就在我們談話的時候。

S: Everybody around us has pancakes. This is obscene.

S:我們周圍的人都有煎餅。這是很淫穢的。

♬* posh music *♬

♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬ 正規音樂 ♬ ♬ ♬ ♬

S: So Martina and I are having very opposite reactions here at this place.

S：所以瑪蒂娜和我在這個地方的反應非常相反。

She's here, making pretty films about all the flowers and whatnot.

她在這裡，為所有的花和其他東西製作漂亮的電影。

I'm just looking at all the plates of food walking by like "When is it going to be my turn?".

我只是看著所有走過的食物盤子，就像 "什麼時候才能輪到我？"。

Feed me... M: This is really pretty!

餵我...男：這真是太漂亮了!

It's like being in a really nice, elegant tea shop.

這就像在一個非常漂亮、優雅的茶館裡。

Simon's just staring at other people with their pancakes.

西蒙只是盯著其他人的煎餅。

He's like a creeper. He's literally just watching people ~ eat.

他就像一個爬行者。他簡直就是在看人~吃飯。

Stop being creepy! S: Huh?!

別再猥瑣了!S: 嗯？

Look. I ordered coffee with cookie.

你看。我點了咖啡和餅乾。

Where the f*#@ck is my cookie?!

我的餅乾在哪裡？

I want my f*#@cking cookie. Right now.

我想要我那該死的餅乾。就在此時。

M: Oh oh. S: Do you hear me?

M：哦哦。S：你聽到我了嗎？

M: Oh oh. I think he's gonna have a break down. S: I want my cookie.

M：哦哦。我想他要崩潰了。S：我想要我的餅乾。

Iwantmy f*#@ckingcookie!

我想我的f*#@ckingcookie!

* sad music *

* 悲傷的音樂 *

S: Those two girls beside me... M: Oh my god.

S:我身邊的那兩個女孩...男：哦，我的上帝。

S: How awkward would it be if I just, like, scuddled up beside them.

S：如果我只是，比如，蜷縮在他們身邊，那會有多尷尬。

If you go to a club and like guys try to pick up girls, he'd be like "Hey, what you drinking?"

如果你去一個俱樂部，喜歡的人想泡妞，他會說："嘿，你喝什麼？"

I wanna be, like "I'm not even interested in dating you but..

我想說，"我甚至沒有興趣和你約會，但是......"。

Can I look at your pancakes?".

我可以看看你的煎餅嗎？"。

M: Awkward. It would be awkward.

M: 尷尬。這將是尷尬的。

If I had to scale it on a 1 to 10, it would be , like a 12.

如果我必須用1到10來衡量它，它應該是12分。

S: Is that my cookie? M: They got your cookie!

S：那是我的餅乾嗎？男：他們拿了你的餅乾

S: Here comes my cookie!

S：我的餅乾來了!

* angels singing *

*天使歌唱 *

S: Hurry up and take your macro shots so I can eat my cookie.

S：快點拍你的微距，這樣我才能吃到我的餅乾。

M: Let me just- let me just take them slow. Nice and slow.

讓我... 讓我慢慢來。又好又慢。

♪ I just wanna take it nice and slow.

我只是想慢慢來。

S: Can you hear my knuckles cracking?

S:你能聽到我的指關節破裂的聲音嗎？

Simon slowly picks up his cookie..

西蒙慢慢地拿起他的餅乾...

S: And now Martina's thinking, "Simon's gonna take a bite and share with me."

S:現在瑪蒂娜在想，"西蒙會咬一口，和我一起分享。"

Well you know what?

那麼你知道嗎？

S: Dan, is that all that you ordered?

S:丹，這就是你訂購的所有東西嗎？

Two tiny ass scones?

兩個小屁股烤餅？

D: I thought they're gonna be bigger.

D：我以為他們會更大。

S: Hahahaha

S：哈哈哈

You've got more jam than you have scone on the table!

你的果醬比你桌上的烤餅還多！"。

M: Well, you took those two and they were like "Wow, those guys are big."

M：好吧，你帶著那兩個人，他們就像 "哇，這些人真大"。

S: I would like to say I think that we've been ruined a little bit by North America.

S：我想說的是，我認為我們已經被北美破壞了一點。

Because when we order scones in North America, there are these ugly, fist sized, lumpy things.

因為我們在北美點烤餅時，有這些醜陋的、拳頭大小的、塊狀的東西。

M: Magic butter things.

M：魔法黃油的東西。

S: Here, we have some very pretty scones.

S：這裡，我們有一些非常漂亮的烤餅。

But they're the tiniest scones I've ever seen.

但它們是我見過的最細的烤餅。

These are like two nipples!

這就像兩個乳頭!

M: I'm just gonna join in here and say something.

M：我只是想加入進來說幾句。

S: The whipped cream is bigger than the scones. M: Those are pretty big nipples.

S:鮮奶油比烤餅還大。男：這些乳頭相當大。

S: True. These are some banging nipples right here. M: Ok.

S:沒錯。這些是一些令人振奮的乳頭，就在這裡。M：好的。

M: I mean, they're huge but I agree with you. They are quite tiny.

M：我的意思是，他們很龐大，但我同意你的看法。他們是相當小的。

S: These are Whale nipples. Ok? M: Whale nipples

S:這些是鯨魚的乳頭。好嗎？男：鯨魚的乳頭

Two whale nipple sizes...

兩個鯨魚乳頭的尺寸...

S: ...alright? I expected something bigger than Whale nipples.

S：......好嗎？我期待著比鯨魚乳頭更大的東西。

M: Hey! We're in a classy place! Keep it classy. These are...

嘿！我們是在一個優雅的地方！保持優雅。保持優雅。這些是...

S: Some type of Whale nipples. M: Stop talking about Whale nipples

S：某種類型的鯨魚乳頭。男：不要再談論鯨魚的乳頭了。

Act like an adult. Quickly.

表現得像個成年人。快一點。

S: Uhhhh...Holidays... M: Indeed! The news today. Did you see the news?

S:呃......假期......。M: 確實如此！我想說的是。今天的新聞。你看到新聞了嗎？

S: How do you feel about the Hillary/Trump - thing? M: things..

S：你對希拉里/特朗普的-事有什麼看法？M: 事情...

M: I might - You know, I might petition to clean up the parks

男：我可能--你知道，我可能會請願去清理公園。

because there are some hooligans that have been skateboarding around there, lately.

因為最近有一些流氓在那裡玩滑板。

S: Wait, wait a second... M: And it's unsafe for the children.

S:等一下，等一下...男：而且對孩子們來說，這是不安全的。

S: What are you gonna do? Write a strongly worded letter to someone? M: YES!

S:你打算怎麼做？給某人寫一封措辭強烈的信？M: 是的!

M: Have you cleaned the leaf gutter? S: What, rain gutter?

男：你打掃過葉溝嗎？ S：什麼，雨槽？

S: Actually, funny story: One of the pipes from the rain gutter actually blew off.

S:事實上，有趣的故事。雨水溝的一個管道居然被吹掉了。

And I don't know how to get up there and plug it back in.

而且我不知道如何上去把它插回去。

So, we'll see what happens in a couple years.

是以，我們將看看幾年後會發生什麼。

M: In the meantime, let's enjoy their magical, warm cookies

男：與此同時，讓我們享受他們神奇而溫暖的餅乾吧

and their homemade scones!

和他們自制的烤餅!

S: Why did you say "let's!", as if this is gonna be a plural of enjoying this cookie?

S:你為什麼說 "讓我們！"，好像這將是一個享受這種餅乾的複數？

M: *sighs*

M:*嘆息*

I can smell the smell of the cookie from here. It's like the most perfect perfume.

我從這裡可以聞到餅乾的味道。這就像最完美的香水。

S: Not my style of cookie.

S:不是我的餅乾風格。

M: *starts to awkwardly beckon for the cookie using her tongue*

M:*開始尷尬地用舌頭招手要餅乾*。

S: I'll let you have some, though.

S：不過我還是會讓你吃一些。

This is your style of cookie.

這是你的餅乾風格。

M: Oh my gerd~

M: 哦，我的胃口~

S: Do you like.. M: It's like I'm a kitty and I'm getting scratches.

S:你是否喜歡...男：這就像我是一隻小貓，我被抓傷了。

S: Do you like old ass grandma biscuits?

S:你喜歡老屁股奶奶的餅乾嗎？

Cause that's what this is. This is old ass grandma biscuits.

因為這就是這個。這是老屁股的祖母餅乾。

M: Oh my god. It's butter pastry that they put together and baked

M：哦，我的上帝。這是他們放在一起烘烤的黃油糕點。

and sprinkled with those gigantic chunks of sugar that you get

並撒上那些巨大的糖塊，你可以得到

when you get those cookies. The European cookies at Christmas time.

當你得到這些餅乾時。聖誕節時的歐洲餅乾。

And it's warm.

而且很溫暖。

S: I should have gotten the cream filled one in the middle.

S：我應該買中間的奶油餡的那個。

M: You're an adult.

M：你是一個成年人。

You can buy another cookie.

你可以再買一塊餅乾。

S: I COULD buy another cookie.

S：我可以再買一塊餅乾。

S: Uhm, cookies? M: Oh my god~

S:呃，餅乾？男：哦，我的天啊~。

M: Yaaas! S: Mmm...

M: Yaaas!S: 嗯...

S: Okay~

S:好吧~

M: The big pancakes!

M: 大煎餅!

M: WOAW!

M: WOAW!

S: Oh, this is one of the best smells! M: Oh~

S:哦，這是最好的氣味之一M：哦~

M: So you thought we were kidding when I said these were big pancakes.

M：所以當我說這些是大煎餅時，你認為我們在開玩笑。

M: This is, like, a cake that's shaped like a pan.

M：這是，一個形狀像鍋的蛋糕。

S: This is an actual cake

S:這是一個真正的蛋糕

that's the size of a pan.

那是一個鍋的大小。

M: Uhm, heads up! Did Simon just take my joke and then just said the joke as if I didn't just say it?

M：嗯，抬頭！西蒙剛才聽了我的笑話，然後就說了一個笑話，好像我剛才沒說一樣。西蒙剛剛聽了我的笑話，然後就說了這個笑話，好像我剛才沒說一樣？

Cause that's what just happened.

因為這就是剛剛發生的事情。

M: Macro shots!

M: 微距拍攝!

* sexy food music *

*性感的食物音樂 *

M: Simon's gonna cut into the pancake an I'm sure that he will share it with me.

男：西蒙會切開煎餅，我相信他會和我分享。

I'm positive that he will be sharing with me.

我很肯定他將與我分享。

S: Oh my god ~ M: I'm sure he'll cut into it first...

S:哦，我的天啊~ M：我肯定他會先切開它......

M: ...and he'll give me a piece... S: Do you see this?

男：......他將給我一塊......。S：你看到這個了嗎？

M: ...and then he'll share it with me.

男：......然後他將與我分享。

S: This is obscene.

S:這是很淫穢的。

S: Ok. Here.

S:好的。在這裡。

Ok. We're even now.

好的。我們現在扯平了。

M: That doesn't seem very fair at all.

M：這似乎一點也不太公平。

S: Look at the thickness...

S:看看這個厚度...

...of this obscene pancake.

...這個淫穢的煎餅。

M: I can't believe it's cooked perfectly through. How do they do this?

M：我不敢相信，它被烤得非常透徹。他們是怎麼做到的？

S: Are you ready?

S:你準備好了嗎？

M: I'm gonna take a very ladylike, gigantic bite.

男：我將非常淑女地大口咬下去。

* sexy food music *

*性感的食物音樂 *

M: Now that we're not out of our minds crazy with hunger

男：現在我們沒有因為飢餓而失去理智。

I can say more things about this pancake.

我可以說更多關於這個煎餅的事情。

M: It is not a traditional pancake. S: Nope.

男：這不是一個傳統的煎餅。 S: 不是的。

M: Like, if you're thinking about a buttermilk pancake, this is not that.

男：比如說，如果你想吃的是酪乳煎餅，這就不是了。

This is more like your basic pancake but it does taste a bit sweeter than usual.

這更像是你的基本煎餅，但它的味道確實比平時要甜一些。

S: Kinda like a basic birthday cake but without the frosting.

S:有點像基本的生日蛋糕，但沒有糖霜。

M: Like a vanilla birthday cake. S: Except,

男：就像一個香草生日蛋糕。 S: 除了。

S: It's the perfect version of it.

S：這是它的完美版本。

You don't need anything else for it.

你不需要為它做任何其他事情。

This is the essence of pancake.

這就是煎餅的本質。

What's amazing about this is also that we've been to other places that serve really big pancakes

令人驚奇的是，我們也曾去過其他提供真正大煎餅的地方

and the biggest problem we have with those pancakes is that

而我們對這些煎餅最大的問題是，

S: the top is cooked, the bottom is cooked; they're tough. M: Uhm-hmm

S：上面是熟的，下面是熟的；它們很硬。男：嗯，嗯

S: And the middle is gooey. M: Like raw.

S:而中間是粘稠的。 M: 像生的一樣。

M: This is the middle.

男：這是中間。

S: This is one inch thick.

S:這是一英寸厚。

Perfectly cooked. All throughout.

煮得很完美。整個過程都是如此。

There are no spots that are raw.

沒有任何斑點是生的。

S: This is made to perfection. M: It's too close to my face.

S:這是做得很完美的。男：它離我的臉太近了。

M: Just keep talking.

M：繼續說。

This doesn't even need syrup.

這甚至不需要糖漿。

S: No. M: I think the butter is all that you need for this magical pancake.

S:M：我認為黃油是這個神奇的煎餅所需要的一切。

S: Look at how golden brown that is.

S:看那是多麼的金黃色。

When you make pancakes at home, the first two that you make,

當你在家裡做煎餅的時候，你做的前兩個。

are always burnt and shitty. M: Your garbage pancake.

總是燒焦的和低劣的。M：你的垃圾煎餅。

S: Your garbage pancakes, your testing pancakes.

S：你的垃圾煎餅，你的測試煎餅。

But these are perfectly brown, all through.

但這些都是完美的棕色，全部都是。

M: Look at the other side. It's beautiful.

M：看看另一邊。它很美。

S: Just beautiful all around.

S:只是到處都很美。

Even the edges are perfectly cooked!

即使是邊緣也是完美的熟透了!

M: How do they do this magic?

M：他們是如何做到這一點的魔術？

S: We waited a long time to get into this place.

S:我們等了很久才進入這個地方。

And I almost lost my shit.

而我幾乎失去了我的狗屎。

M: Hahahahaha.

M：哈哈哈哈。

S: This far away, of losing my shit with hunger. M: It was close.

S:這麼遠的距離，在飢餓中失去我的屎。M：很近。

M: But was it worth it?

M：但這值得嗎？

S: This is definitely worth it. M: Uhm-hmm.

S:這絕對是值得的。M: 嗯，嗯。

S: If you wanna try the best pancake of your life,

S：如果你想嚐嚐你一生中最好的煎餅。

you HAVE to come here.

你一定要來這裡。

S: It's so good!

S：太好喝了!

S: I guarantee you,

S：我向你保證。

you haven't had a pancake like this.

你還沒有吃過這樣的煎餅。

Unless you've had a pancake like this. M: Uhm-hmm

除非你吃過這樣的煎餅。M: 呃，嗯

S: Did that even make sense? M: Yeah, it does not but we'll go with that.

S:這有意義嗎？M：是的，沒有，但我們就用這個。

S: How does somebody eat their pancake so slow?

S：有人怎麼會把煎餅吃得這麼慢？

What's wrong with you, woman?

你有什麼毛病，女人？

Eat your pancakes like a human.

像人一樣吃你的煎餅。

*slow sad music*

*緩慢的悲傷音樂*

S: So I've convinced Dan and Martina that it's really important for them

S：所以我已經說服了丹和瑪蒂娜，這對他們來說真的很重要。

to go outside and get shots of the snow.

到外面去拍雪景。

S: For a video about pancakes. It's not really important.

S:為了一個關於煎餅的視頻。這其實並不重要。

But I convinced them that it was important.

但我說服了他們，這很重要。

So that they leave their plates unattended.

這樣，他們的盤子就沒人管了。

S: Guess, who doesn't have a pancake on their plate anymore.

S:猜猜看，誰的盤子裡不再有煎餅了。

Whoo! Is that you, Dan?

Whoo!那是你嗎，丹？

Who doesn't have a pancake anymore?

誰沒有煎餅了？

S: Yeah, Dan, keep on recording videos of the snow. That's super import..

S：是的，丹，繼續記錄雪的視頻。那是超級進口...

*shocked*

*震驚了 *

*frantically thinking of how to explain the situation while smiling awkwardly*

*一邊尷尬地笑著，一邊急切地想著如何解釋情況*。

(what?)

(什麼？)

M: What's happening here?

M：這裡發生了什麼？

S: It is super important for you to get videos of the snowfall outside.

S：對你來說，拍下外面的降雪視頻是超級重要的。

M: Where's my pancake?

男：我的煎餅呢？

What's this?

這是什麼？

S: Wuat? This is my pancake.

S:什麼？這是我的煎餅。

M: Where's my pancake?

男：我的煎餅呢？

S: Where IS your pancake?

S:你的煎餅在哪裡？

M: Where's Dan's pancake?

男：丹的煎餅呢？

S: Where's Dan?

S:丹在哪裡？

No, Dan, Dan's recording.

不，丹，丹的錄音。

He's got a important shit to do.

他有重要的事情要做。

M: He's trying to eat my pancake!

男：他想吃我的煎餅!

* happy, cheery music *

*快樂、歡快的音樂 *

M: Look at that

男：看那

beautiful, fresh soufflé.

美麗、新鮮的蛋奶酥。

S: All you can smell is the lightly burnt sugar

S:你能聞到的只是輕度燒焦的糖的味道

over all of this.

在這一切中。

It's an eye-watering warmth that just ~Ahhhh

這是一種令人瞠目結舌的溫暖，只是~Ahhhhhh

M: So these two things are the most popular things on the menu.

M：所以這兩樣東西是菜單上最受歡迎的東西。

It's a little bit of a wait for the soufflé

等待蛋奶酥的時間有點長了

because they make it fresh.

因為他們做得很新鮮。

But, look at that gorgeousness!

但是，看看那華麗的外表吧!

She told me that I'm supposed to crack it open.

她告訴我，我應該把它敲開。

And inside of it I put this fresh cream which,

我在裡面放了這個新鮮的奶油。

yeah, I'm gonna do.

是的，我打算這樣做。

M: Guys, S: Ok, you're ready?

男：夥計們，S：好了，你們準備好了嗎？

The smell smells like, what you would imagine grandmothers' houses smell like.

味道聞起來就像，你會想象祖母的房子是什麼味道。

*sexy food music*

*性感的食物音樂*

S: Let me try.

S:讓我試試。

I gave you one of my whole pancakes.

我給了你一個我的全煎餅。

M: *growling*

M:*咆哮著*

Do you like crème brulée? Do you like warm pudding?

你喜歡奶油布丁嗎？你喜歡溫暖的布丁嗎？

And crème brulée?

還有奶油布丁？

Because this is a warm pudding crème brulée.

因為這是一個溫暖的布丁奶油布丁。

It's eggy and it's fluffy and it's not overly sugared.

它是雞蛋狀的，是鬆軟的，沒有過度的糖分。

Because the sugar comes with the cream.

因為糖是和奶油一起的。

This is unbelievable.

這是令人難以置信的。

And it's so~

而且它是如此~

like, warm

喜歡，溫暖

oh my god~

哦，我的上帝~