With 13 days until the midterms, the tires are coming off the country

距離中期選舉還有13天，國家的輪胎正在脫落

and Republicans are riding the glowing orange rims to an election night victory.

而共和黨人正騎著發光的橙色輪圈，在選舉之夜取得勝利。

And we Republicans earned this moment.

而我們共和黨人贏得了這一時刻。

We screwed up COVID, which caused a supply chain crisis,

我們搞砸了COVID，造成了一場供應鏈危機。

which caused runaway inflation and now, according to FiveThirtyEight,

這造成了失控的通貨膨脹，而現在，根據FiveThirtyEight的說法。

which is totally skewed, unless it says what I want it to,

這完全是歪打正著，除非它說的是我想說的。

the polls are trending in Republicans favor.

民意調查的趨勢對共和黨人有利。

Yahoo! Scoodalid-di-

Yahoo！Scoodalid-di--

-doo!

-杜!

Republican control of the Senate and the future of mammalian life on Earth

共和黨對參議院的控制和地球上哺乳動物生命的未來

could come down

可以下來

to what happens in Pennsylvania, where Democrat John Fetterman debated Dr.

到賓夕法尼亞州發生的事情，民主黨人約翰-費特曼在那裡與博士辯論。

Mehmet Oz.

梅赫梅特-奧茲。

It was an amazing night between a man trying to convince voters he's a healthy

這是一個奇妙的夜晚，一個試圖說服選民他是一個健康的人的人。

human and a man trying to convince voters he's a human.

人類和一個試圖讓選民相信他是人類的人。

But it was Oz who landed the decisive blow with this take on abortion.

但是，是奧茲對墮胎的這一觀點給予了決定性的打擊。

I don't want the federal government involved with that at all.

我根本不希望聯邦政府參與其中。

I want women, doctors, local political leaders

我希望婦女、醫生、地方政治領導人

letting the democracy that's always allowed our nation

讓一直以來允許我們國家的民主

to thrive, to put the best ideas forward so states can decide for themselves.

蓬勃發展，提出最好的想法，以便各國能夠自己決定。

Yes, local political leaders are experts on this stuff.

是的，地方政治領導人是這方面的專家。

I can't name one difference between dictating women's health

我無法說出支配婦女健康的一個區別

decisions and judging the town pumpkin carving contest.

決定和評判鎮上的南瓜雕刻比賽。

Joining me now to roll around in the news mud,

現在加入我的行列，在新聞的泥土中打滾。

is co-host whose work performance reviews always have an entire section entitled:

是共同主持人，他的工作業績審查總是有一整節的標題。

Biting Incidents.

咬人事件。

Bonnie Davis.

邦妮-戴維斯

Hi there.

你們好。

Co-host Who gives out Zippo lighters for Halloween.

共同主持 "誰 "為萬聖節送出Zippo打火機。

Susan Shepard.

蘇珊-謝潑德。

Good evening.

晚上好。

Co-host who posts slideshows, after guys trips to Colorado

發佈幻燈片的聯合主持人，在他們去科羅拉多州旅行之後

with the caption: “What a weekend full of epic conversations.”

並寫上標題。"真是一個充滿史詩般的對話的週末。"

Austin Sparks.

奧斯汀-斯帕克。

Hey Tyler.

嘿，泰勒。

And host of PBS's “Firing Line” and voice

以及公共廣播公司 "火線 "的主持人和聲音

of the wing of the Republican Party that doesn't only speak in tongues.

共和黨中不只講方言的那一派。

Margaret Hoover, thanks for joining us, Margaret.

瑪格麗特-胡佛，感謝你加入我們，瑪格麗特。

Great to be here.

很高興來到這裡。

So Margaret, Republicans caused a million or so COVID deaths.

所以瑪格麗特，共和黨人造成了一百萬左右的COVID死亡。

And fast forward

和快進

now, vaccine skeptic Marjorie Taylor Greene is next in line for House speaker.

現在，疫苗懷疑論者馬喬裡-泰勒-格林是眾議院議長的下一個人選。

Everything worked out, huh?

一切都解決了，是吧？

Republicans are cautiously optimistic going into the midterms and that goes

共和黨人對進入中期選舉持謹慎的樂觀態度，這也是

for the House Republicans and it goes for the Republicans in the Senate.

對於眾議院的共和黨人來說，這也適用於參議院的共和黨人。

Of course, there are two very different types of Republicans.

當然，有兩種非常不同類型的共和黨人。

The Republicans in the House will be a different set of Republicans.

眾議院的共和黨人將是一組不同的共和黨人。

If they win the majority, there will be a larger

如果他們贏得多數，就會有更大的

number of Republicans who you might agree with that

你可能同意的一些共和黨人的觀點

the kind that don't choose to certify elections.

就是那種不選擇認證選舉的人。

So, rational Republicans.

所以，理性的共和黨人。

And that's not great for democracy.

而這對民主來說並不是好事。

But there will be some Republicans hopefully returning to the Senate who

但會有一些共和黨人有希望重返參議院，他們

do believe in democracy,

確實相信民主。

voted to hold Donald Trump accountable, like Lisa Murkowski in the Senate.

投票要求唐納德-特朗普負責，比如參議院的麗莎-穆爾科斯基。

So you're going to have a mixed bag.

是以，你將會有一個混合的袋子。

Bonnie, what are you thinking in this moment?

邦妮，這一刻你在想什麼？

Yeah, milk is expensive.

是的，牛奶很貴。

So of course we should vote in the party, slow roasting the planet

是以，我們當然應該在黨內投票，緩慢地烘烤這個星球

and keep that cheap milk flowing into our sticky children's faces.

並保持廉價牛奶流向我們粘稠的孩子的臉。

Voters know that Republicans get stuff done.

選民們知道，共和黨人能把事情做好。

Just think about how we pulled off those several hundred thousand COVID funerals.

想想我們是如何完成那幾十萬個COVID葬禮的吧。

Let's go back to that debate

讓我們回到那場辯論

in Pennsylvania between David Mamet Oz and David Fetterman.

在賓夕法尼亞州的大衛-馬梅特-奧茲和大衛-費特曼之間。

Afterwards, there was a lot of speculation about whether Fetterman

事後，有很多人猜測費特曼是否

has the cognitive capacity to serve alongside mental super athletes

有認知能力，可與精神超級運動員並肩作戰

like Dianne Feinstein and Chuck Grassley to investigate.

像Dianne Feinstein和Chuck Grassley這樣的人進行調查。

I respectfully purchased Fitzsimmons Brain from my cousin Ricki.

我恭敬地從我的表弟瑞奇那裡購買了菲茨西蒙斯的大腦。

As you can see, Fetterman brain is wrinkly.

正如你所看到的，費特曼的大腦是皺巴巴的。

Lacking the silky smooth linoleum sheen of a healthy brain.

缺乏健康的大腦所具有的絲綢般光滑的油氈光澤。

I've told it to roll over multiple times and it does not follow basic commands.

我已經讓它翻身多次了，但它不聽從基本命令。

Margaret, back me up.

瑪格麗特，支持我。

Senators need to be geniuses operating at the very top

參議員需要是在最高層運作的天才

of their intelligence to cast the vote their staff tells them to.

他們的智慧來投他們的工作人員告訴他們的票。

Yeah, well, we all know that that's not true.

是的，我們都知道，這不是真的。

What we do know,

我們所知道的。

I mean, the voters of Pennsylvania deserve to know what their real mental

我的意思是，賓夕法尼亞州的選民應該知道他們真正的精神世界是什麼

and cognitive abilities are of the person they're about to vote for.

和認知能力是他們即將投票給的人。

And that's a pretty reasonable expectation.

而這是一個相當合理的期望。

It is cute, though, and daddy loves you.

不過，這很可愛，爸爸也很喜歡你。

Who's a good friend?

誰是好朋友？

I kind of like that.

我有點喜歡這樣。

I'll take you to the park later so you can play with the other dogs.

我一會兒帶你到公園，你可以和其他狗一起玩。

Moving on.

繼續前進。

Our Lord and Savior, Donald Trump is selflessly taking time away

我們的主和救世主，唐納德-特朗普正在無私地抽出時間

from stealing the 2024 election for himself to steal the 2022 election

從為自己竊取2024年選舉到竊取2022年選舉

for the Republican who will rig the 2024 election for him.

為共和黨人，他們將為他操縱2024年的選舉。

The Rolling Stones report that in recent months,

滾石樂隊報告說，近幾個月來。

Trump has convened a series of in-person meetings and conference calls to discuss

特朗普已經召開了一系列的當面會議和電話會議，討論

laying the groundwork to challenge the 2022 midterm results.

為挑戰2022年的中期選舉結果奠定基礎。

In these conversations, pro-Trump groups, attorneys, Republican Party activists

在這些談話中，支持特朗普的團體、律師、共和黨活動家

and MAGA diehards often discuss the type of scorched earth legal tactics

和MAGA的死忠們經常討論那種焦土式的法律戰術。

they could deploy.

他們可以部署。

Whoa, are we going full on autocracy?

哇，我們要全面實行專制了嗎？

Because that is. Uh...yikes.

因為那是。呃......哎呀。

I..I'm..uh...

我...我...呃...

I'm not at all a little terrified that we're finally going through with it.

我一點也不害怕，因為我們終於要進行下去了。

Tyler, are you okay?

泰勒，你還好嗎？

Yes.

是的。

Even though my life is largely fine, I want an autocracy.

儘管我的生活基本沒有問題，但我想要一個專制制度。

Can someone open a window?

誰能開個窗？

Tyler, you're sweating your frickin ass off.

泰勒，你在為你的屁股流汗。

Don't talk.

不要說話。

It just makes me more sick.

這隻會讓我更加噁心。

Susan, did you say you wanted a ginger ale?

蘇珊，你說你想喝薑汁汽水嗎？

No.

沒有。

Fine.

很好。

I'll drink it.

我就喝了它。

Not that I need it because I like living in an autocracy.

並不是說我需要它，因為我喜歡生活在一個專制國家。

Actually, I love it.

事實上，我喜歡它。

I've never been happier.

我從來沒有這麼開心過。

And my pulse less scary loud.

而我的脈搏也沒有那麼嚇人的響。

Margaret, explain why this is just classic political gamesmanship.

瑪格麗特，解釋一下為什麼這只是典型的政治遊戲技巧。

And also, please list the symptoms of a panic attack.

還有，請列出恐慌症發作的症狀。

Take a deep breath.

深吸一口氣。

You can take some comfort in the fact that Donald Trump's election shenanigans

你可以從唐納德-特朗普的選舉詭計中得到一些安慰。

that all filtered through the courts, 60 plus cases in the last election

所有這些都是通過法院過濾的，在上一次選舉中，有60多個案件。

in 2020, not a single one of them

在2020年，他們中沒有一個人

was able to pass muster with a judge.

是能夠通過法官的審核的。

Whether that judge was appointed by a Democratic president,

該法官是否是由民主黨總統任命的。

a Republican president, or Donald Trump himself.

共和黨總統，或唐納德-特朗普本人。

On the other hand,

另一方面。

Could I take my socks off?

我可以脫掉我的襪子嗎？

If you really want an autocracy.

如果你真的想要一個專制制度。

Would that be weird?

那會不會很奇怪？

You can be delighted that the

你可以很高興地看到

signs are in place that there is a

有跡象表明，有一個

Jesus Christ.

耶穌基督。

Where the heck is the ginger ale.

薑汁汽水到底在哪裡。

That seem to be agitating in that direction.

這似乎是在朝這個方向鼓動。

All right.

好的。

Now that Margaret has calmed

現在，瑪格麗特已經平靜下來了

down, finally,

下來，最後。

Austin, can you give us a preview of Sparks?

奧斯汀，你能給我們介紹一下《火花》嗎？

Thanks.

謝謝。

As everyone surely knows by now, I am host of Tuning Out's: “Raucous,

現在大家肯定都知道，我是Tuning Out的主持人。"喧鬧的。

can they say that?” late night show Sparks.

他們能這樣說嗎？"深夜節目《火花》。

And this week's episode is absolutely epic sauce.

而本週的情節絕對是史詩般的醬紫。

First up, me and Elise Stefanik hit pumpkins with hockey sticks.

首先，我和Elise Stefanik用曲棍球棒打南瓜。

Then I keep swallowing

然後我繼續吞嚥

roaches till Vanessa Laschet gives me a rib cracking heimlich.

蟑螂，直到瓦妮莎-拉謝給我一個肋骨破裂的海姆利希。

And yeah, it's our big phone interview with Teri Hatcher.

是的，這是我們對泰瑞-海切爾的大型電話採訪。

Finally, it's back.

最後，它回來了。

Our YouTube

我們的YouTube

challenge where parents tell their kids there's fentanyl in their Halloween candy.

挑戰，父母告訴他們的孩子，他們的萬聖節糖果裡有芬太尼。

Here's a taste.

這裡有一種味道。

You know how you got candy last night?

你知道你昨天晚上是怎麼得到糖果的嗎？

Well, turns out

那麼，事實證明

there's fentanyl in it.

這裡面有芬太尼。

Yes.

是的。

Fentanyl, sweetie.

芬太尼，親愛的。

In your candy.

在你的糖果中。

Whoa.

哇哦。

And they only get better than that.

而且他們只會比這更好。

I promise.

我保證。

That's tonight on Sparks.

這就是今晚的火花。