Wait.

等等。

If you could just hold on one second.

如果你能堅持一秒鐘。

If everyone could just hold on for one second, this this won't take long.

如果每個人都能堅持一秒鐘，這不會花很長時間。

That's just kind of a thing you say.

這只是你說的一種東西。

It's not you're not realistic.

這並不是你不現實。

Hello?

喂？

Hey oracle.

嘿，甲骨文。

Thanks for the last minute.

謝謝你在最後一刻的幫助。

Sash.

紗窗。

Actually, let me just put my airpods in.

事實上，讓我把我的airpods放進去。

Sorry guys.

對不起，夥計們。

Just think of the open bar.

只要想到開放的酒吧。

We're gonna get there soon.

我們很快就會到達那裡。

I know the ceremony is the worst part.

我知道儀式是最糟糕的部分。

Hold on.

等一下。

Okay, can you hear me?

好的，你能聽到我嗎？

I feel like my friend is marrying the wrong person.

我覺得我的朋友是嫁錯了人。

What should I do?

我應該怎麼做？

Are you at the wedding right now?

你現在在婚禮上嗎？

Yeah, I'm here at the wedding.

是的，我在這裡參加婚禮。

They just they just asked for objections, wow.

他們只是他們只是要求提出反對意見，哇。

Okay, cutting it pretty close.

好了，說得很清楚了。

I got really busy, you know, and I'm permanently dislodged from time after the last two years.

我真的很忙，你知道的，在過去兩年之後，我就永久地脫離了時間。

It just makes no sense to me.

這對我來說毫無意義。

No judgment, totally get it.

沒有評判，完全明白。

So let's dive in so you can make this decision with clarity.

是以，讓我們深入瞭解，以便你能清晰地做出這個決定。

First and foremost, I want to rule out that you may be projecting your past relationship trauma to this couple.

首先，我想排除你可能把你過去的關係創傷投射到這對夫婦身上。

Have you journal about this concern to get to the root of why you have it?

你是否對這種擔憂寫過日記，以瞭解你為什麼會有這種擔憂的根源？

Uh, 1 2nd.

呃，第1次。

1 2nd.

1個第二。

Okay.

好的。

Done.

完成了。

I don't think I'm unconsciously projecting my own past betrayals or inner wounds onto them.

我不認為我在無意識地把自己過去的背叛或內心的創傷投射到他們身上。

The red flags that I'm noticing.

我所注意到的紅旗。

They're very real wonderful.

他們是非常真實的精彩。

Okay, next, let's imagine the outcomes.

好了，接下來，讓我們想象一下結果。

What happens if you say something versus what happens if you don't.

如果你說了什麼，與如果你不說，會發生什麼。

So let's imagine that you don't say anything and that your worst fears come true.

是以，讓我們想象一下，你什麼都不說，你最擔心的事情就會成真。

Whether you're your fears are that your friend's spouse is unfaithful, dishonest or abusive?

無論你是你的擔心是你朋友的配偶不忠，不誠實或虐待？

How will you feel down the line if you never said anything if they have Children together and this happens?

如果他們在一起生孩子，發生這種情況，你從未說過什麼，你會有什麼感覺？

Oh no.

哦，不。

However, if you say something, it may also end the friendship depending on how open your friend is to hearing this kind of criticism.

然而，如果你說了什麼，也可能結束友誼，這取決於你的朋友對聽到這種責備的開放程度。

She could absolutely choose her partner over continuing to be in a relationship with, you know?

她絕對可以選擇她的伴侶而不是繼續與之交往，你知道嗎？

So before you decide, ask yourself which risk is worth taking.

是以，在你決定之前，問問自己哪種風險是值得承擔的。

Okay, so what do I do if your friend is in an abusive relationship, it can take victims an average of seven times before leaving for good.

好吧，那麼如果你的朋友處於虐待關係中，我應該怎麼做？在永遠離開之前，受害者平均需要七次。

Perhaps you want to protect the friendship to ensure she has a system of support.

也許你想保護這種友誼，以確保她有一個支持系統。

Okay, well he's definitely a dick bag, but I don't think he's necessarily abusive.

好吧，他絕對是個混蛋，但我不認為他一定是虐待。

Well, if you do decide to purchase this conversation with your friend, definitely do so in a safe, non intimidating setting where you can speak one on one, so probably not shouting in the middle of the ceremony.

好吧，如果你決定與你的朋友購買這個對話，一定要在一個安全的、非恐嚇性的環境中進行，你們可以一對一地交談，所以可能不會在儀式中間大喊大叫。

Okay, great.

好的，太好了。

Cool, cool.

爽，爽。

Remember use your eye messages to remove any judgment or blame from your language.

記住用你的眼神資訊來消除你語言中的任何判斷或指責。

Okay, I will do that.

好的，我會這麼做的。

And also you don't have to make this decision right now.

而且，你也不必現在就做出這個決定。

You can put a bow on it and continue to observe and support your friend with solutions way to express your concern when the time is right or when your opinion is asked for.

你可以給它打一個蝴蝶結，繼續觀察和支持你的朋友，在時機成熟或徵求你的意見時，用解決方法來表達你的關注。

Yeah.

是的。

Yeah.

是的。

Okay.

好的。

Okay.

好的。

I have so much clarity around this issue now and what to do.

我現在對這個問題非常清楚，該怎麼做。

Thank you so much A wise oracle anytime.

非常感謝你 一個明智的神諭，無論何時。

Also you can call me marla.

你也可以叫我瑪拉。

You don't have to keep calling me that.

你沒必要一直這麼叫我。

I'll see you on monday.

週一見。

Okay, we're back.

好了，我們回來了。

Alright.

好吧。

Just tag me I'm anaconda.

只要給我貼上標籤，我就是大蟒蛇。

Thank you the patrons who supported today's video and thank you to better help for sponsoring today's episode.

感謝支持今天視頻的贊助人，感謝更好地幫助贊助今天的節目。

Do you need clarity on life struggles pinpointing what's interfering with your happiness or just creating better patterns for your life?

你是否需要清楚地瞭解生活中的掙扎，準確地找出干擾你幸福的因素，或者只是為你的生活創造更好的模式？

Better help can assess your needs and match you with your own licensed therapist professional counseling that is done securely online with a broad range of Expertise.

更好的幫助可以評估你的需求，併為你匹配你自己的有執照的治療師專業諮詢，該諮詢是在網上安全進行的，具有廣泛的專業知識。

Better help is more than 15,000 counselors in their network that otherwise may not be locally available.

更好的幫助是他們網絡中的15,000多名諮詢師，否則當地可能無法提供。

You can log into your account any time and send a message to your counselor.

你可以在任何時候登錄你的賬戶，給你的輔導員發一個資訊。

Let's schedule a weekly video or phone session.

讓我們安排每週一次的視頻或電話會議。

Better help offers more affordable access than traditional online counseling and financial aid is available.

與傳統的在線諮詢相比，更好的幫助提供了更多負擔得起的機會，並且可以獲得財政援助。

You can go to better help dot com slash icona.

你可以去更好的幫助點com斜線icona。

That's better H E L P and join over one million people taking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional that's better help dot com slash chicana to sign up today and get 10% off your first month, go to therapy.

這是更好的H E L P，並加入超過一百萬人在經驗豐富的專業人士的幫助下負責他們的心理健康，這是更好的幫助點com slash chicana今天註冊並獲得第一個月的10%折扣，去治療。