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  • We can't live our lives without partners, and actually, partnerships can give us more

  • freedom in life.

  • For example, let's say I'm really good at finding fruit and bad at making fires,

  • but you happen to be really good at making fires and bad at finding fruit.

  • And because I wanna sleep near a fire and you wanna eat some fruit, we partner up.

  • I give you fruit, and you give me fire.

  • And so we end up having more freedom together than we would have on our own.

  • But if you pick the wrong partner, whether it's in work, politics, an institution you

  • use, love, friendship, or anything else, they'll ruin your life.

  • And they'll ruin your life by taking advantage of your labour.

  • For example, your boss might ask you to take on more and more responsibilities without

  • compensating you for the the increased workload.

  • Or an authoritarian government might throw you into a labour camp.

  • Or a business partner might make you do the majority of the work while still reaping the

  • benefits.

  • The wrong partner takes advantage of our labour and turns us into a slave.

  • So there's a positive-side and a negative-side to partnership, and it all depends on which

  • partner you choose.

  • So how do you decide who to partner up with?

  • While there are many different traits that good partners /could/ have, there is one trait

  • that every good partner /must/ have: trustworthiness.

  • You can think of trustworthiness as running on a scale from 0 to 100.

  • 0 means absolutely untrustworthy: this person will always take advantage of your labour

  • if given the chance.

  • 100 means absolutely trustworthy: this person will never take advantage of your labour,

  • even if it would benefit them immensely to do so.

  • And you can think of everyone having a score somewhere along this scale.

  • And you may be wondering, what would it mean to have a score of say 50 or 80?

  • Let's say you give a stranger $10 to hold while you tie your shoe.

  • To some people, $10 might be enough to take advantage of you and run away, while to others

  • it might not be.

  • But to those who didn't take advantage of you, they might not take advantage of you

  • for $10, but if you handed them $100, then they might start to seriously consider it.

  • So different people have different thresholds at which they might choose to take advantage

  • of your labour.

  • And the person who'll never take advantage of your labour is absolutely trustworthy.

  • So how do you identify if someone's trustworthy?

  • Is there a marker that can signal someone's trustworthiness?

  • I think the closest thing is this: they have long-term relationships with partners that

  • have voluntarily chosen to be in that relationship.

  • Why is this a good signal?

  • Because it's hard to fake.

  • If someone's untrustworthy, other people are unlikely to voluntarily choose to be in

  • a long-term relationship with them.

  • And the word voluntary is critical.

  • If you're in a long-term relationship with me because you have no other choices, that's

  • not a signal of my trustworthiness.

  • It's only when you have other choices, but still choose me, that our relationship becomes

  • a sign of my trustworthiness.

  • But if you're trying to identify someone as trustworthy, you're trying to make a

  • prediction, and there's an underlying problem with prediction.

  • Predictions are based on and derived from the past, and the future may not always resemble

  • the past.

  • For example, someone may have appeared trustworthy their whole life, but in the last few days

  • before they pass, they may pull a scam on everyone who trusted them, a plan they'd

  • carefully constructed and worked on over the course of their life, the ultimate heist.

  • Or vice-versa, someone may have been a thief their whole life, but after they have an internal

  • revolution, they may become the most trustable person you know.

  • So when we make predictions, we always run the risk of being wrong.

  • The future doesn't always resemble the past.

  • And the best way to lessen our risk might be something like insurance.

  • But there's also a way to decrease our probability of being wrong.

  • See, your predictions are based on your knowledge, and your knowledge is based on your experiences.

  • So if you have limited experiences, you have limited knowledge, and if you have limited

  • knowledge, then your predictions are not very accurate.

  • But if you expand your life experience through experimentation with new things, you expand

  • your knowledge, and if you expand your knowledge, you make better predictions.

  • And experimentation solves a different problem.

  • How do you deal with people who have no past for you to base your prediction on?

  • How do you tell how valuable a new graduate will be to your company when they have no

  • past experience for you to base your prediction on?

  • How do you tell how good of a friend or a lover someone will be if they've never had

  • the chance to be one in the past?

  • If you experiment with the new, you might find something better than what you had, while

  • simultaneously improving your ability to predict.

  • But of course, experimentation comes with risk, and that's when insurance comes back

  • into play, but that's a topic for another video.

  • So we can't live life without partners, and the right partners can increase the freedom

  • we experience in life.

  • And the right partner is trustworthy, and a good signal of trustworthiness is whether

  • or not someone has long-term relationships with partners that have voluntarily chosen

  • to be in that relationship.

  • But this signal is just a way to predict someone's trustworthiness, and all predictions run the

  • risk of being wrong.

  • We can improve our ability to predict through experimentation with new and untested ideas,

  • and we can minimize the risk we face by being wrong with insurance.

  • As always, this is just my opinion and understanding of partnership, trust, and cooperation, not

  • advice.

  • And if you have a different take on these ideas, I'd love to

  • hear your perspective in the

  • comments below.

We can't live our lives without partners, and actually, partnerships can give us more

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Pick the Wrong Partner, Ruin Your Life

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    Summer 發佈於 2021 年 12 月 12 日
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